ForeverMissed
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His Life

The last three weeks

March 3, 2013


September 29, 2012 

 Dear friends and family,

 For you who do not know yet, Tim was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer stage 4 on Tuesday. The doctors say it's not operable, as it has spread also to the liver. He is shocked and everyone else as well. Tim feels very week especially after the biopsy yesterday (his brother a medical doctor was with him for a few days). He is taking pain medicine as he has excruciating abdominal pain since last week-end (which caused him to go to have it checked out).

Besides that he is very realistic and is dealing with the 'new situation' in an amazing way. I will support whatever way he will choose. Miracles are possible and prayers, good thoughts and also occasional e-mails to him are appreciated.

 I am returning tomorrow from NY from Germany. As you will understand I might not be able to keep in touch with each of you individually. Occasionally I will send out an update.

Lots of love
Monika

 

On Oct 1, 2012

 dear all,

 yesterday i arrived at the apartment in ny. tim is so pale and weak, he speaks very slowly. we went for a walk around the block with a break to have a green juice. he is wobbly when walking, walks slowly and drags his feet. he wanted to discuss options with me tonight but now he is so tired and sleeping. 
his brother thinks chemo could be tried and might help with pain management. every two weeks for a not set amount of time can be stopped any time he says. that is what the doctors at lennox hospital recommended. 

tim's brother just sent me his write ups from the 'diagnosis and treatment suggestions' - after tim had the cat scan and biopsy. as they put it: 12 month survival chance versus 6 months without....numbers, numbers, numbers... 
the way he moves and looks i am not sure if he could take even one round

i am overwhelmed and do not know what to say. he has to make this decision but he has no energy to look into it. he went with his former wife for 4 years through different rounds of chemo and knows from her how strongly it affected her - yet it is tempting. he also knew my brother's partner who died 3 years ago after the first round of a 'super new' chemo for leukemia - she was supposed to receive 4 rounds. he is under pain medication - oxycodone 5mg - the doctor said the pain will increase and they start to manage it now. i know that no one can really help directly with this. your prayers will facilitate a clarity in him and more strength in me.

thank you all for your support and prayers 

lots of love

monika

 

October 7, 2012

 Dear family and friends,

 Yesterday was my first time ever at an emergency room in a hospital. Tim was so weak, dehydrated - despite him drinking as much as possible- shaky, not able to walk without holding on to me or something, sometimes disoriented, not able to shower and shave alone easily, that i felt there was no choice. (I felt he just needed an IV ....) the visiting nurse told us a day before that they almost never do that at home.) Two friends came bye at 12:30 and they agreed seeing the condition he was in and we brought him together in a taxi to Lennox Hill were he went the first time 2 weeks ago. It was most comforting to be accompanied by 2 friends.

His Primary Care doctor - after I called her - came as well and stayed all the way though till 1:30am. She was overwhelmed and called about every specialist doctor she knows to see Tim. That emergency room was a nightmare we were there from 12:30pm -10pm!!! I had to keep finding s. o. constantly to give him pain medicine, to get a container to pee in …. They did not give him anything to drink till midnight! Only IV liquid. Then the only thing he could get were 'ice chips', round frozen rolls you can put in the mouth. Tim sucked them up saying it is bad quality water and just not like water.

MRI at 10:30pm - Tim's brother felt it was not necessary but Tim wanted it. I understand he wants to see if anything changed. It is also his way to deal with this 'new situation'. Thank God a friend came at 10pm to keep us company till 2:30am. At 3am finally home.

 Tim was so patient even made people laugh a few times. And he does speak his mind and ask questions. Very slowly but firmly. We had to sign a bunch of papers which I did all read, still not sure how the system here in the US works. I can speak tomorrow with a social worker who will help me figure out the financials. As I have heard so often from people going bankrupt from medical bills.

 They asked Tim 10 times the same questions, drew blood 4 times. Asked for his urine 3 times. We found out that they have no central computer system and every new doctor and nurse performs the same task. I noticed that it is good for Tim to be able to repeat what happened to him to each individual over and over. It's a way to keep telling himself as he is still in shock. I can't even imagine how shocked he is. A few times I just wanted to scream. Yet,  I did very well, stayed focused and centered to support Tim. I interrupted, asked, added sentences to the forms, …. I know now why it is essential to not go alone to an emergency room.

They kept him overnight in a room one step down from Intensive Care. Wires, wires, one being morphine through a pump he can push when needed, which it might help with his pain. I am so new to all of that. Called his brother many times and ask him to speak to the doctors. It's good for 'them' to know a doctor in the family monitors things. Tim's sister is coming Monday, which will help as well.

Thank you all close and far for your beautiful support. All of your physical help, good thoughts, and prayers are a lifesaver for us.

Lots of love,

Monika

 

 

October 10, 2012

Dear family and friends,

the doctors think Tim has 2 more weeks to live. As you all know I usually would reject this. Yet I see Tim physically declining so rapidly. At the same time all gates are open and I do believe anything is possible anytime. He is still at Lennox Hill Hospital.

I have to revise a lot of my judgments about doctors and hospitals. Tim is in - one step down from intensive care. Yes, it is a crazy place. The nurses work to their exhaustion. Always lot of doctors of different degrees around diagnosing, prescribing, asking questions. Tim does like the attention and when I complained about the mistake a pain management doctor made, he got upset with me saying: be quiet they are all helping me here. He listens to their advice he asks questions and talked about the diagnosis. I am very touched by the compassion from the doctors and everyone else around giving their very best. My heart opens with theirs and my judgments and prejudices are gone.

 Tim is focused on moment to moment. Eating a bit - and his 2 sisters and one brother in law get anything he wants. He really enjoys having family here from California and expresses how grateful he is that they are here. Another sister is coming Thursday and then his brother Sunday. Going to the toilet is a big ordeal and very exhausting for him. I usually stay with him and take care of it except I need help with walking the 8meters.

A few friends from his company come. He likes that. He speaks very slowly is witty with some people and feels comfort when I massage anything on his body. They pumped 2l liquid from his belly yesterday what gave him some release. The doctors suggest Hospice Hospital. What we all think would be the best for him and us. May be today may be next day. Once in the hospice I might ask a few local friends/-visiting friends for help. I would like for son to be there with him 24h a day. With me being there most of the time, his sisters help take care of background work so I am free to be focusing on Tim and are cheering him up. I could not without them. Your mails, clips, thoughts, prayers, calls, texts are all very appreciated they feed us on all levels. Tim likes to hear from me who called, wrote, prayed - he does not want to read or listen to a message right now.

 I also let go of any ideas, concepts, about what Tim should do. He is present with everything and everyone. He sleeps, his pain medication works, he talks very, very slowly and expresses his needs clearly.

 And: we are getting married in the next few days.

When his sister told him that she arranged everything he had a big smile on his face and said: you are my woman and I said: you are my man.  
I'll let you know when we move out of Lennox Hill Hospital and where to.

We are both so grateful for all of you in our lives.

 Love,

Tim and Monika

 

 

Evening of 10/11/12

 Dear friends and family,

On October 11th around noon, Tim and I officially got married. Such a beautiful and deeply touching event

Tim already prepared the evening before, telling the nurse on night shift he didn't want too many pain killers in order to be 'present'. 

Although we had just moved from the hospital to the hospice on Wednesday at 8pm, he told Megan that he was looking forward to it (she is the youngest of his three sisters, all here with their spouses and she spent the night with him in his room - I came back from our flat at 8am, cleaned up the room and brought back candles, music, a gong and 3 beautiful cards, which we had written to each other this year.

 At the same time a whole shipment of flowering potted plants arrived- probably 25 - all from one friend.

I then had to go to city hall here in Manhattan, pick up a civil servant, bring her to the hospice- we share the same birthday- Tim had to sign and barely managed - then bring her back, wait for the certificate, take it across the street to the Supreme Court, then go to a lawyer's. He wrote up and signed a document, allowing us to skip the usual 24hour delay between obtaining said document and actually getting married.

Back to the hospice, were all were already assembled. Tim's family, a close friend of mine, who officially married us and about 8 friends who were able to make it on short notice.

More flowers and plants arrived. The ceremony was marked by Annie's amazing speech - the friend who married us: tailored just for us.  I have known Annie since 2000, our first year in New York. She warmly welcomed all family members, present and absent and also the deceased;

I strongly felt the presence of my parents and Tim's father was also there. 
When I get around to it, I will translate and send everyone Annie's speech.

Then the real surprise took place. On his own, in his now tender, fragile, slow and soft voice Tim said he had something to say - you have to understand that for the past 2 weeks he has hardly spoken at all, and in the last few days he has mostly slept.

Such beautiful words from the heart about us, about life, about the breath, the letting go but also, that he hopes we can overcome the present difficulties. 

We were moved to tears. Such joy and sorrow shared together.

He then fell asleep 15 minutes later and sleeps constantly with little bouts awake, even now at 2:39am. So he woke up around 12:30am. I wiped the sweat from his face, arms and torso and gave him water and warm tea- which is now only possible with a straw. 

He looked at me and said he is so relieved that we are now married. I play Irish harp music and he says: 'It sure is great to have you as my wife' and then his eyes closed again.

The nurse on night shift who came at 1am to check his temperature and give him his pain medication, told me in the hallway, that he would probably not live more than 1-3 days. She explained the visible symptoms, due to his liver hardly functioning anymore. I am so touched and am watching over him, since he sometimes wakes up and is disoriented. For example he asked what his options were if he does not do chemotherapy.  I calm him down and remind him of his words, that we should be thankful for every breath and that he should quietly keep sleeping.

A surreal process, full of wonderful moments.

 I have not had time to reflect or to grieve being a widow. There will be plenty of time for that later.

Right now it is all about Tim. To make his last days as pleasant as possible, to take away his fear and to tell him what a wonderful human being he is.

As usual, all the gates are open, those to life and those to death. Everything is happening incredibly fast. Here in the hospice, they said they never had anyone come only 2 weeks after the diagnosis.

Yes, Tim is simply a very special human being. It is now 3:15. Writing helps me process. And I want all of you to share so that you don't wonder what is happening here.

Tim and I feel all your congratulations, your prayers, your worries, your pain, and your joy.

With love 
Monika 

 

10/11/12

Tim’s words at the wedding ceremony:

 Annie, the minister: "...and Tim, we know your heart is with Monika now…"

 Annie:   "Do you want to say something?"

Monika: "You are my man."

Tim: " I’ll say something: It means a lot to have the people in this room and so much has been experienced.

I appreciate it and I really say thank you to all you who have made this such a positive feeling and when I met Monika, I knew she was my soul mate and my guide.

We’ve been through -(Tim is making wave like movements with his hand).....like this… but it’s been such a joyous journey and I hope that we get through these present struggles to be able to emerge and rise above these present challenges and see what happens…

Through life there’s a certain detachment that I once remembered and realized that (I wanted to remember this) that no matter what happens that I can say thank you for each moment that I lived and to be able to say. I was given this life, I’m a guest here, and I didn’t deserve anything.'  I just became someone who was, someone who could be able to be Monika’s lover and as Edward said to me yesterday, there’s something special in you, you can’t predict it, but you can just appreciate. And that’s the greatest gift I think I ever learned…to be able to appreciate the gift of this life. 

And so, I can’t ask for anything, I can’t demand anything, but I can appreciate what’s given to me.

 All: “Beautiful Tim…”

 Tim: "Monika has a lot more to say… You have to… but she carries it deep inside and it’s amazing to me."

 Annie:  “You are both our teachers. The ring that Monika wears is a symbol of the love that you share, now and always.  It’s a symbol of the continuity between the two of you.”

Tim: "Thank you, and by the way… I don’t like wedding rings." [Laughter]

“Well, it is what it is. No, no, no, I like ones like Monika’s, we bought her a ring in Mumbai once, oh that one, yeah on our first trip to India together. Yeah, and so that was our wedding ring and it is very, very special. And then that became part of it and it evolved into {?} and so I loved that Monika carries that ring with both of our hearts.

Annie: “I can’t help but think that this is just a renewal of vows, those vows were made a long-long time ago and renewed regularly."

Monika: "May be even before we met."[Laughter]

 Annie: "So now I ask you the important question. Monika, do you take Tim to be your lawful wedded Husband

Monika: "Yes, I do."

Annie: Tim do you take Monika to be your lawful wedded Wife

Tim: " Yes I do."

Annie: "Monika, Tim you have been married in a spiritual ceremony in a tradition that emphasizes this moment, each moment the reality that is always here to be appreciated. 

You are now Husband and Wife.

 Please take care and treat each other as you have as teacher and friend. Your marriage has given confidence to others, help each other. Love is the fruit of compassion.

 By the power vested in me by the state of New York. I now pronounce you Husband and Wife."

 

 

On Oct 17, 2012

Dear family and friends,
 

 last night at 9:45 Timothy exhaled the last time.

 After struggling all afternoon he slowed down around 9:30pm. He became so peaceful. Our hearts opened wide. And then, the four of us sent Timothy off with lots of love, appreciation and good wishes.

Tomorrow I will send out a more extended e-mail with links to a sharing website/page, honoring Timothy and a link to the Timothy O'Brien Fund that I created to provide scholarships for emerging artists in our favorite theatre in western Massachusetts.

 Life became even more of a mystery the last 3 weeks. One breath at a time.

Love, 

Monika





 

October 19, 2012 

 dear family and friends

 last night i had a very restless sleep knowing that today would be the day. i left our apartment very early - on this rainy day - to take the harlem train to woodland cemetery. all the people i have met dealing with the dead body of tim have been exceptional the gentleman who drove me in a service car from the entrance of the cemetery to the chapel at least a mile - was so compassionate, told me a few stories of mysterious happenings in the chapel and refused the tip i wanted to give him.

they asked me to sit in the chapel. I assumed they would get me once Timothy's body would arrive. by pure coincidence i walked outside and here was the black car with Tim’s body inside. i watched 2 men them slide Tim's body in an opening. i was so pleased that the same man who picked Tim's body up on tuesday night accompanied him all the way through. he was the one bringing him yesterday to the chapel in the funeral home for me to identify -as they call it - and the one driving him today from Manhattan to the Bronx. the 2 gentlemen were so surprised when i told them that i wanted to come down into the cremation room. a grey room in the basement. they rolled the box in, closed the door, i folded my hands to my front and my heart and send Tim's body off into the fire and prayed for his soul to have a final departure.

i sat for 5 minutes in the chapel and then went out for a very long walk - 3 1/2h - 

a most beautiful white crane who i met at the edge of a lake looked at me, then flew up, high up on a branch of a very tall tree, sat there quietly for 20 minutes or so, then she flew off east. i felt such a strong connection that i was sure she (that was just a feeling and of course would please time more then a he ;-) carried Tim's soul off.

i was talking to Tim crying and at the same time really letting him go. i caught myself several times thinking that i have to bring Tim here that he would love the quietness and the beautiful trees. forgetting that he is in my heart and can experienced it in his air/ether (the upper regions of space; the clear sky; the heavens.) form.

lots of love

monika 

Life with Monika

December 26, 2012


After all the years of very hard work and success, Content Group did not receive the funding promised, was dissolved and part of the company taken in by IBM -including Timothy. IBM moved him to New York where he worked their digital media strategy. He soon became a star and at the end of 2000 was invited to the event for the 'top 10% performers in all of IBM' to Cancun Mexico which we both attended and combined with an magical visit to the Mayan city of Coba.

 On New Years Day 2000 Timothy asked me about my travels to India and Thailand, as he had never been to Asia. He was intrigued and the idea was born to live some day in an Asian country, which manifested already a year later.

Before that, during 2000 Timothy was sent to Singapore on a business trip, his very first time on the Asian continent. He came back with so much enthusiasm, many stories and inspired presents which he purchased in the Indian section of Singapore. In November we finally went to India, visiting dear friends in New Delhi and we attended an event of his teacher in a huge arena with tenth of thousands of people. Timothy was beaming. This had been a dream of his for a long time.

 


 

The years in Japan
On the 31st of December we sat in the plane to Tokyo, celebrating 3 times the change from 2000 to 2001: Japan time, East Coast time, West Coast time, as we had an emergency landing in San Francisco due to the engine leaking gasoline and had to stay there overnight. What a journey to our new home country!  Our first visit on the 2nd of January was to Meiji Shrine to give our thank you for being here and to ask for blessings for our 3-4 year stay in Japan. Until our belongings arrived we stayed in a hotel in Shinjuku, Tokyo. Every morning upon awakening we saw majestic Mount Fuji from our bed. What a gift.

Timothy's work took him all over Asia/Pacific. He was heading the Media & Entertainment Group of Asia/Pacific of IBM and was consistently rated in the top 10% of all IBM employees worldwide. 


Within the fist few weeks I made friends with some wonderful Japanese women who became our guides, teachers and stayed close friends to this day. I also had the opportunity to study some Japanese language and made any effort to learn home cooking from my friends. Japanese has always been our favorite cuisine - besides Indian, Thai, Mediterranean, ect. As you all know Timothy was a true epicurean, and as long as there were no nuts or red meat in his meals and the food of excellent quality he was happy. Our other favorite part of Japanese culture was the onsens (hot springs). I grew up in a hot spring and mud bath town in Southern Germany and had introduced Timothy to the exquisite worldly pleasure of sitting in hot healing mineral waters and then cooling off in a cold pool. I found an onsen just 40 minutes outside of Tokyo, which we visited every weekend when in Tokyo. This was a true healing place. Dark strong mineral waters, excellent Chinese foot massage, a tatami room to rest and take a nap, a most delicious restaurant with organic food and beer and the hot water pools were arranged according to feng shui principles - of course men and women separate for true relaxation.


 

Here, there and everywhere
After 3 years and 4 month in Tokyo working for IBM Timothy wanted to embark again on a more independent path. We left Tokyo, stayed in New York for a few months at a friends house and then moved temporary to San Francisco. Timothy soon started to work in New Deli and Mumbai, India as an independent contractor doing work for IBM and a few other companies. After we went together to Germany for a few weeks as every year I joined him for about 4 month in which we also had time to explore South India. We visited many theatre and dance schools, were welcomed by teachers and artists , and so developed a deep respect and love for the South Indian arts and culture. We also had the privilege to stay with very loving, hospital Indian friends where my Indian cooking skill received refinement. For relaxation we stayed at an Ayurvedic Health resort inland in Kerala, which we visited many times in our winter vacation.

Back in San Francisco in April 2005, Timothy attended a broadcast conference in Las Vegas where he met members of an Irish company based in Galway who eventually invited him to join.


 

 

"Timothy O'Brien, coming home to Ireland",


the Prime Minister of Ireland said to Timothy when they met in Dublin at a business meeting. (a photo on this website documenting it). In Ireland with a population of only 4.5million, the Prime Minister can be found in pubs available to speak with 'ordinary' people. What a country!


"From Mumbai to Galway" as Timothy put it. A change of cultures and, we also discovered that the two cultures had quite a lot in common. 

Timothy loved many countries and cultures but Ireland was closest to his heart. We had the extraordinary privilege to be living for 2 years in Galway. How refreshing to be in a small, culturally so vibrant city of 57.000 people. 


Magical: the land and all who and that it carries and feeds. Timothy bought me the book: "Secret Ireland" by Cary Meehan, which became our guide. A guide containing information on archeology, history, mythology, folklore, legends and current information how earth energies relate to the sacred nature of even pre-celtic sites. To many of the sites one has to walk through a herd of cows crazing in meadows, no entrance fees and fences. Rarely did we see other visitors except in Newgrange which has been developed for tourists but still is a must for visitors - older then the pyramids in Egypt. 

The music scene: Galway being the gateway to the Irish speaking Connemara, where English is taught as second language in schools, hosts in its pubs a lot of traditional Irish music played sometimes by entire families with Irish and English lyrics. Then the weekly farmers market on Saturdays: Timothy's favorite stand was the one with the fresh oysters from the Aran Islands. Every Saturday when in town he delightfully slurped half a dozen down for breakfast. 

Leprechauns and fairies are alive, protect the lands and it's people. 




  

Cambridge, MA, 2007-2012


We found out a few years later that Cambridge is the sister city of Galway! As modern Nomads we create a world wide web; not really by choice more by destiny. The places we live choose us. Synchrodestiny! 



Timothy was offered a job at 'Maven' as Vice President of Media Services in Cambridge by a executive recruiting agency based in New York. He accepted. 
He was responsible for deploying in just one year over 30 enterprise customers and partners. Not much more then a year later 'Maven' was acquired by Yahoo. The CEO of Maven had assembled a team of great people, which was a pleasure to work with, just 5 minutes walk from our small but grand view apartment overlooking the Charles river. 


At Yahoo Timothy was the executive in charge of day-to-day relationships with Yahoo's media customers and partners. 



Only in the second winter there did we adjust to to living through long winters - we both had not been in those kind of winters for decades - in taking 'tropical breaks' around February or over Christmas/New Years ( Mexico, Puerto Rico, India, California). We also happily adapted the way people in New England enjoy the short but hot summers: almost every week-end we Zipcar-ed to Crane Beach, Ogunquit, Plum Island and occasionally to Matunuk Beach in Rhode Island, we visited the amazing Acadia National Park, Monika hiking while Timothy mutated into a crab, meditating in the scorching sun at the beach! In fall we ventured to New Hampshire for 'leaf peaking’. 


Europe is just an Atlantic apart from the East Coast. We went to Germany once or twice a year to visit family and friends, soak in the Bad Waldsee Therme, sweat in the 100% mud filled bath tubs, eat white asparagus in May and Käsespätzle all year around.
One year we landed in France first to visit a very dear lady friend in Cherbourg who treated us to numerous culinary delicacies of her region and embedded us with a wealth of cultural and personal insights.

 

VIisit to the Ukraine, 2008


Over the years I had been encouraging Timothy to go to the Ukraine to visit his relatives and his grandparent's hometowns. This finally manifested in July 2008. 
 His oldest sister guided us through the entire trip as she lived part time in Kiev at the time. The highlight of the 5 days in Kiev was Tim meeting his spirited enthusiastic 2nd cousin. They are the same age and both were/are very active in the arts, his cousin also in various positions in the government. We learned all about Timothy's grandfather Konstantin who left the Ukraine in 1915 and came to New York and his brother who stayed and died in 1947 on the way to Siberia, his wife and children were taken to Siberia. A very tragic and dramatic time for the family. Only in 1967 were they allowed to return to their homeland, meaning- one of his grand uncles daughters, her husband and three children - who we all met. The family in the US sent money and clothing to them once they had an address in the 1960ies and after and also came to visit as soon as they were allowed. His 2nd cousin's 16-year-old daughter accompanied us as a guide and translator. We flew from Kiev to Ivano-Frankovsk, in the 'real' Ukraine - west Ukraine. Another 2nd cousin and his wife picked this cousin and us up drove us to many historically beautiful towns and cities, to the Carpathian Mountains, and we met each other Tim's other 2nd cousins and all of their family members. The highlight: the piece of land - now a memorial site - on which the house stood in which Timothy's grandfather grew up (the house was burned down in 1947 by the Stalinists) in a small village. 


Timothy about this visit: 

"This was indeed a life-enhancing trip to the west of Ukraine stepping on the land of my ancestors and meeting my second cousins and their families. They all welcomed us with such generosity and warmth. We are eternally grateful for their willingness to meet and feed us. Everyone we visited asked us to come back and visit again. They revealed to us a small taste of what life can be when lived with simplicity, gratitude, hospitality and time to sit and be fully be present. People live off the land, families stick together and bond to  share their joy and help each other to cope with the hardships of life."
 


 

 2010-2012
In 2010 Timothy left yahoo to fulfill his dream of working for his teacher Maharaji to help him in every way possible to spread his message of peace worldwide. Timothy reorganized the worldwide operation, brought people together in international conferences, manifested his teacher’s visions and soon became a very well known and loved person in the organization. He devoted his time as a volunteer. Yet mid/end of 2011 he was gradually ‘eased’ out of his rolls in Maharaji’s organization for unknown reasons.

 Beginning of 2011 he was introduced to Brevity Ventures, a start up company in NYC. Very excited about the team and the product he served at first as an adviser, joined as CCO in September and became President and CEO in April 2012. He worked more and harder then ever before and the only time off was to join me during my trip to Germany for 5 days beginning of September 2012 on his way to the International Broadcast Conference in Amsterdam, returning to NYC on the 11th. On the 25th he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that had metastasized and 3 weeks later on the 16th of October at 9:45pm his breath merged with the cosmos and left his body.

 

 What a beauty to witness and guide him through this gate.

 On May 21st, 2013 Timothy’s remains were spread in Hawaii in the ocean in front of an Navigational Heiau on the Big Island accompanied by plumeria, jasmine, red chilies and green café beans.

 

The San Francisco Years: 1989-1999

November 27, 2012

 Tim worked as an analyst from his base in San Francisco, went back to Stanford for the spring semester 1998/99 and graduated there in Drama/Mass Media/Communications in June 1992. His graduation play that he wrote, produced and directed was the post-modern play: 'Esperance', a contemporary treatment of the most ancient human mystery. It is the story of a civilization's hope celebrated in ignorance, and then revealed in knowledge.' And, Tim quoted John Cage: 'This is a time of lost spirit and loss of hope. We need to return to the essential things because we can find them inside of ourselves.' Several years later he rewrote 'Esperance' and staged it in a 'bigger then life' scenario at an old warehouse.

  Parallel to his studies he supported himself financially as a business consultant. He was contracted by HP to write a business plan, was a contributing editor and analyst with the Patricia Seybold Office Computing Group, was a contributor for publications such as Electronic Entertainment and wrote a chapter in the book:” Technology 2001: Volume 2"
 


Just a few months after his father had passed away Tim formed Modus Ensemble together with his wife Siri in summer of 1993. The Modus Ensemble was a multi-disciplinary performing arts organization with the mission of exploring humanistic concerns in the information age and making the invisible visible for the audience. Drawing upon innovations in the modern theater, Modus created original works, presented productions of artists from around the world, and offered fresh interpretations of classics- all in an effort to tie the theatrical experience to the human aspiration and dilemma. They brought experimental theatre groups from Europe and the US to San Francisco, organized dance and theatre workshops, lecture series and staged art films. Modus was formed with the mission to push boundaries of theatre, dance, and music in exploring humanistic concerns in today's information age.

 Around the same time Tim and Siri also founded One Abstract, Inc., a creative and strategic consulting company, to link art, technology and business. One Abstract provided funding for Modus Ensemble and later became the Content Group.





 A Performance In Time

December 31st, 1993: his play 'A Performance In Time', which ended at midnight, was staged at the Cowell Theatre in San Francisco. He dedicated it to his father, 'the one who had to deal with my ceaseless questioning. He inspired encouraged and me to never stop taking time to discover and create'.

 In the play, time is personified through the juxtaposition of two different characters: one is the manifestation of our perception of time and the other is the manifestation of time's perception of us. Timothy's attempt with this play was to isolate the experience of a single dramatic moment in our lives and his hope was that through seeing the performance 'we all will be able to experience more fully the life by which we are lived'.
 


  An Object Orientation
Very soon after, considering that he also run One Abstract and Modus Ensemble at the same time, Timothy wrote, directed and produced ‘An Object Orientation’. It was staged at the Object World trade show and at the Cowell Theatre in San Francisco from July26 - August 7 1994, blurring the boundaries between business and art.  He described it as: ‘A fable about man's search for meaning in a world influenced by technology and defined by information’. The play was cosponsored by ‘The Object Management Group’ a consortium of over 380 large hardware and software companies in the world, Stanford University and his consulting firm: One Abstract.

Timothy as the visionary he was, foresaw, that in the next century technology will for sure redefine the way we live and work and that a major cultural transformation will take place. He felt that it is the tasks of the artist to step forward and offer society a way to examine, understand and cope with these changes. The play uses the computer search as a metaphor for the human search and intersects between the two.

 
Two characters ‘If’ and ‘Loop’ (waiting for Godot like characters) from the ‘olden times’ are searching for a missing piece of data.

 
 'Esperance'

es-per-ance n. Obsolete.

Hope, Expectation [Middle English esperaunce, from Old French esperance, from Vulgar Latin sperantia (unattested), from Latin speranc, present participle of sperare, to hope]

Timothy dedicated Esperance to his third wife Siri who together with her family were very strong supportive pillars through most of his San Francisco years. 
Not much changed in the script from 1991 but the staging of the performance was  spectacular, and took place in an old huge warehouse.
Life music by an Chinese trio, an huge tapestry, hand painted with Chinese characters, hundreds of lights, a dream come true for Timothy. 

 

1975 to 1989

November 27, 2012

In fall 1975 Tim enrolled at Stanford to study Drama and Journalism. For 3 years he was torn between focusing on getting a degree and dedicating himself full time as a renunciate to his teacher, which meant living in his ashrams.

 On one hand he did not want to disappoint his parents on the other hand he felt a clear calling as the meditation he was initiated in and which he practiced daily gave him a clear sense of propose and made him happy.

 During that time Tim also studied at the Stanford London campus participating in a British multimedia research program with the BBC and ITV.

 He made his final decision in 1997 and moved into a house - boys only - in San Francisco. Tim then continuously lived in ashrams all over the country until 1982. Everyone was a renunciate, had to work, mediate every day for 2h, study, listen to talks and could not possess anything material.

  In 1982 he fell in love with a woman from the woman's ashram in Washington, DC. In order to be together and get married they were asked to leave the ashram. They settled in the Virginia Beach area where Tim went to work for NBI, a technology products company, and later with Exxon Office Systems selling Exxon solutions.

 In 1994 Timothy founded together with two partners the Account Data Group, a provider of local area network systems. In 1988 the company was ranked 12 on Washington Technology's list of the 50 fastest growing local companies. During his time in Washington DC he was an avid supporter of the local theatres financially and morally. He and his second wife hosted frequent Sunday brunches for many artists. He also was a theatre journalist for an alternative city paper in DC. In 1989, The Account Data Group was acquired by Network Management, Inc..  Tim remained an employee of the new company for 6 months and then moved to San Francisco just in time to be surprised by the earthquake sitting at the Marina right at the bay. Shortly after that event Timothy and his second wife were involved in a life threatening car crash after which she  moved to Paris.

 

From birth to University

November 10, 2012

 

 Born in Minneapolis, Minnesota in 1957 to Rose Mary and William O'Brien, as the 4th of 6 children, Timothy Francis grew up on St. Patrick’s Lane in Edina, MN next to St. Patrick's church.



'6 kids in 9 years' as Timothy always said, his parents did an amazing job exposing the children to life in various aspects. There was the discipline to help in and around the house. Their mother Rose Mary, whose parents came from Ukraine, exposed them to the 'old world' values, as she put it. Ukrainian food and culture was part of their daily life. Their father William a medical doctor would sit the kids down and read Shakespeare - to just mention one author - he exposed them to classical music and took them to the opera. 
Every year during summer break the kids were taken on an extensive trip all over the country with a station wagon and a pop-up trailer (how that exactly worked is still a mystery to me), before or after summer camp at a lake in northern Minnesota.




After primary and junior high public school, Timothy attended with his brother Bill 'The Blake School', a non-denominational boys prep school where he graduated in 1975 before entering Stanford University, CA later that year. Tim and his brother were also very much engaged in playing football and basketball.
From an early age, he wrote, directed and produced plays. The first plays he wrote involved his siblings. These plays were performed at Christmas time at home.
 



 In 1972 at Blake he started an underground newspaper, 'The Insignificant, Non-Sectarian Newspaper' which was shut down because of the scathing editorials about actions of the school Headmaster. Of course this did not stop Timothy.
 From 1972-1975 he was the chief editor of the official School paper 'The Blake Torch'. 



 In 1974 he also started an independent broadcast radio station with donated equipment. He obtained a provisional broadcast license and developed programming with music, entertainment, news and other broadcasters. 



 In 1974/75 he wrote a paper: 'The study of Existentialism, a yearlong project involving concrete research and an original theatre production.' 
He researched and compared the works of Kierkegaard, Heidegger and Sartre. 
Timothy founded the 'Malignant Theatre Company' and the 'Malignant Orchestra' and wrote, produced and directed together with his friend William R. Fraley: 'Do You Exist? The story of life, death, people and the world', which was staged at the Northrop Collegiate School, the sister school of Blake.
 
Around that time Timothy and Don McGlynn presented a night of one act plays and skits entitled "If You Thoroughly Enjoy This, You Have No Taste." It was announced in the paper as: 'The plays have a general theme of threatening the audience and do this by directly involving the audience or are related to roles in society that everyone in the audience can identify with.' Also presented at Northrop Collegiate School.
 
  


When he was 17 his search: 'what is the meaning of life?' was answered. He found his spiritual/meditation teacher. Timothy remained a devotee of this teacher until he passed away. The songs by Jethro Tull: 'My God' and 'Wind Up' initiated his search for another spiritual home then the Catholic Church. The songs state that God is inside you and me. The meditation he was initiated in and the teachings of his teacher taught him how and as he always put it: It was the greatest gift he received in his life - and I then added: 'besides being born'.