ForeverMissed
This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Tom Abbott, 70 years old, born on August 25, 1939, and passed away on February 10, 2010. We will remember him forever.
Posted by Ruth Abbott on February 10, 2021
I'm laying a flower here for you my love. How I wish it could be a yellow rose, but all the rose bushes have been pruned for the winter and are just beginning to leaf out again. Although this began as a sunny morning, the day is turning cold and overcast. I remember that it rained a great deal during your last month with us. I still think that your brother Jim probably has the idea that Southern California resembles the interior of our living room since that's mostly all he got to see during his visit.
Yesterday my friend Jan (from Prairie days) asked me to describe you to her as she never met you. At first I thought it would be an impossible task but once I got started, the memories just keep flooding!! I've posted her questions and my responses in the "stories" section so won't repeat all of that here. Only to say that my waking thought this morning was of you dancing your version of the Samba on the concrete sidewalk of the summer house in Itaparica. Do you remember that? You dropped my camera and chipped the case... but miraculously it didn't damage the photos. I'm sure the box containing those pix is in storage... would be fun to look through them again.
With amazement I FINALLY found our common ancestor.. not named Abbott, of course! You and I are both descended from a family named Morgan ... t'was Irish nobility, don't you know ... which makes us 11th cousins, once removed. How fascinating that after 9 generations we are both Abbott's. I strongly suspect you may have taken a hand in the resolution of that mystery that I have been seeking for 45+ years. You are probably able to visit with most of them first hand as many have already passed over.
On that note I want to tell you that your cousin MaryCiel is not doing well. She has been in the hospital but recently released back to a rehab facility. I have enjoyed my FB relationship with the Hawkins clan but Hawk and Gaylene are failing too.
Last week we celebrated Sammy Book's 12th birthday. What a fine young man he has grown to be. You will always remember him as "the shreak". And that makes me think of "the Streak" -- the name David assigned to Willard's Toyota pickup that we gifted to D&D when it went back home to Texas. David is absolutely a cat of 9 lives... or more like 18 by now. He has once again retreated from what we thought was surely death's door.
I continue to hope that our next visit will be from a home back in AZ. I came close last summer but that didn't work out... But, as they say, hope springs eternal. My friend Brenda is currently living in Prescott Valley and would love for me to join her. We'll see... 
As always, you are in my thoughts...and you are dearly missed!!
Posted by Ruth Abbott on August 27, 2020
No, I didn't FORGET your birthday...actually we celebrated it "early" with a visit from Austin & Nichole (over this past weekend)...and then I received notes with greetings and hugs from both Renata and Maria exactly on the day. Yesterday I communicated with your family because an immense hurricane was due to come ashore in Louisiana and travel north through Arkansas. So far as I know, your people are all okay.
In some of my recent "cleaning" I came across some cd's with photos we took during our "Odyssey" in 2006. Such memories!! Remember visiting the cemetaries in Midland and putting flowers on the graves? I found a photo we took of a head stone named "NORRIS" where the husband was a Norris and the wife was a Hawkins. Have been "worrying" that clue for a couple of days now... trying to figure out how the pieces fit. Garlene (married to "Hawk" --Ed Hawkins' brother) has been trying to help me with it. Always some new fun!
Nichole and I went through about a dozen of the plastic storage tubs from the garage during her visit. We consolidated some stuff, disposed of some... and some went home with her (smile). We are working toward the day when I will be able to load all the boxes and relocate back to Mesa... soon, I hope.
I love and miss you. Happy birthday #81.
Posted by kathy jones on February 10, 2020
Hard to believe that 10 years have gone by since your dear wife said farewell and you went ahead to the other side.
The joyous news in all of this is that its not a final forever farewell.
Been thinking a lot about Psalm 139 which tells us that there is nowhere we go from the Presence of the Lord /  ‘look into the heavens You’re there and in the dark depths of despair - even there love will find me - knowing that your never alone even if Your hand takes my own to the other side of the sea—even there Your love will find me /
‘All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be’
What an amazing God we have who has good plans and His timetable arranged for each of us!!!
Posted by Ruth Abbott on February 8, 2020
Thinking about you a great deal these days. Many memories!! This decade anniversary is more difficult than some of the in-between ones.  I have upgraded your memorial site this year with some "new" photos.

I am fascinated by recent messages referencing our legacy. You did impact many lives... and that continues through the children of "our girls" and the next generation. 

You are ever in my heart and you are missed!!
Posted by Ruth Abbott on August 25, 2019
Good morning, love. It's your 80th birthday! Just wanted you to know that you are thought of (especially today) and loved (still). I'm sending you a big bouquet of yellow roses.
Ten years ago, on your 70th birthday, you were in the SNF at Remington recovering from your last bad fall. The planned 70th birthday and 40th wedding anniversary party was postponed... and never rescheduled. This morning when I talked with Maria, we commented on birthday celebrations we all share on your almost-mutual day at The Landmark in Mesa. Happy thoughts... though the restaurant is no longer there.
This year Derek and Anna are saying goodbye and returning to Mesa after checking Nina in for her freshman year at N.A.U. So VERY difficult to believe she is college-age already. (And it 2 years it will be Nichole and Austin taking Lexxie to college... now THAT seems REALLY unbelievable!)
Hugs and love from all of us...
Posted by Ruth Abbott on February 10, 2019
Midnight (2400 hours) last night marked the anniversary of your last breath. I don't know how NINE years has passed since that night. I didn't think I could do "life" alone. And in many ways I realize I am NOT alone. #1) our Heavenly Father loves and cares for me; and #2) Mary Lou has made good on her promise to you to watch out for me; #3) Randy and Judy are always at the ready if I need something (my other sisters too, though they are not as readily available). I continue to have lasting friendships at the Church you knew as Valley Baptist. It's now Grace Point Church; a name change.
This year I have started to regularly attend North Coast Church here in Escondido. I have made a number of new friends in my Life Group... and am now 3 weeks into Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University with a different cross-section of folks, also at North Coast. With the first of the year I signed up as a "greeter" for which I am responsible on a 2-week on/ 2-week off rotation on Sunday mornings.
Yesterday I was thinking about our "kidlets". Valerie was still in high school 9 years ago, and I don't think she had even met Matt. Next week their oldest, Brantley, will be three!! and Kailey will be two in June. Austin and Nichole's Lexxie and Leila are teens, and last month hosted an exchange student (Ruby) from Australia. Chris and Melissa's Cason (also two in June) is an adorable flirt! I think you would have enjoyed being a great-grandad. Our Nina is graduating from high school this year--can you believe it??-- and has earned a full-ride scholarship to NAU.
Much of the last post is a "ditto". The Currie's will be here in early March for Spring Break. We have scheduled a penthouse at Wyndham at the Pier in Oceanside which should accommodate our entire family in one unit (as opposed to booking two units on the same floor).
I haven't heard from Maria about any proposed trips...but that's often the case. She very much wants me to make good on our promise to visit Quito and I'm hoping that will be possible.
Renata's Francisco had a birthday two days ago. He turned 11 this year. Tia Anna also asks when I will return to visit in Salvador. It's been 26 years since we spent Valentine's with them!!! (and Carnival in Rio!!)
Next week we'll observe the 3rd anniversary of Mom's passing, followed 2 days later by Uncle Hal's. This is the first year that Aunt Marianne won't be with us. I'm not even going into the litany of all our friends who have "gone to glory" during this past year. I would surely not remember them all... It's a long list.
Instead of the yellow roses, this year I am leaving you a bundle of Miss Lou's "magic flowers"-- bright yellow daffodils which are currently in season. I'm enjoying a bouquet of them on the kitchen sill.
As always, you are loved and MISSED!!
Posted by Ruth Abbott on February 10, 2018
Today I'm leaving you a bouquet of yellow roses arranged in a pair of cowboy boots.
You know you were in my heart and thoughts this past month as Mary Lou took me on a road trip through Texas Hill Country. There were SO many memories of our time together down there. We had lunch in Fredericksburg, dinner at the Blue Bonnet Cafe in Marble Falls and another lunch in Kerrville. I laugh when I remember you and Willard trying to convince this Cali-girl that there were beautiful parts of Texas.

We got to see Sammy in Fort Worth. He had his 9th birthday two days after we were there. NINE!!!

Our great grandson Brantley will celebrate his 2nd birthday in two weeks.. and Valerie posted just this morning that Kailey slept through the night last night for the first time. You would enjoy those babies so much.

FaceBook sent a notice this morning that I signed up 9 years ago today. What an interesting coincidence that it is this DAY. I am very grateful for that link to so many friends.

Maria will be here for a visit soon. When she comes we are going to plan a special memorial celebration together. Austin, Nichole and the girls will be here for their spring break next month too. We will be together in a condo at the beach. I know you are happy for us...and yet glad you don't have to get sand between your toes.

You are loved and missed!!!
Posted by Ruth Abbott on August 25, 2017
Happy Birthday, Poppie Tom.

I can't believe it's been 7 1/2 years since your spirit took its final flight. This is the longest stretch in my life that I have been on my own and I really miss the companionship.

You may remember that Gunnar and Anna had their 2nd girl, Elizabeth (we call her Ellie). on August 24. She turned 8 yesterday. Maria had a birthday yesterday as well. We chatted via computer.

Your namesake "baby boy" Brantley celebrated his half-year (18 month) birthday yesterday. Didn't realize his b-day was almost perfectly on your 1/2 year date. And Kailie is already 2 months old... and growing so fast. You would be proud of the great Mommy our Valerie has become. And that doesn't discount that she chose to co-parent with Matt. They will celebrate their anniversary this coming week--4 years.

I'm leaving you a flower today. You know it's a yellow rose!! I hope you and Momma enjoy the roses.
Posted by Maria Narváez on February 10, 2015
Thank you for your generosity and so many good moments. I will always have you inside my heart.

Leave a Tribute

 
Recent Tributes
Posted by Ruth Abbott on February 10, 2021
I'm laying a flower here for you my love. How I wish it could be a yellow rose, but all the rose bushes have been pruned for the winter and are just beginning to leaf out again. Although this began as a sunny morning, the day is turning cold and overcast. I remember that it rained a great deal during your last month with us. I still think that your brother Jim probably has the idea that Southern California resembles the interior of our living room since that's mostly all he got to see during his visit.
Yesterday my friend Jan (from Prairie days) asked me to describe you to her as she never met you. At first I thought it would be an impossible task but once I got started, the memories just keep flooding!! I've posted her questions and my responses in the "stories" section so won't repeat all of that here. Only to say that my waking thought this morning was of you dancing your version of the Samba on the concrete sidewalk of the summer house in Itaparica. Do you remember that? You dropped my camera and chipped the case... but miraculously it didn't damage the photos. I'm sure the box containing those pix is in storage... would be fun to look through them again.
With amazement I FINALLY found our common ancestor.. not named Abbott, of course! You and I are both descended from a family named Morgan ... t'was Irish nobility, don't you know ... which makes us 11th cousins, once removed. How fascinating that after 9 generations we are both Abbott's. I strongly suspect you may have taken a hand in the resolution of that mystery that I have been seeking for 45+ years. You are probably able to visit with most of them first hand as many have already passed over.
On that note I want to tell you that your cousin MaryCiel is not doing well. She has been in the hospital but recently released back to a rehab facility. I have enjoyed my FB relationship with the Hawkins clan but Hawk and Gaylene are failing too.
Last week we celebrated Sammy Book's 12th birthday. What a fine young man he has grown to be. You will always remember him as "the shreak". And that makes me think of "the Streak" -- the name David assigned to Willard's Toyota pickup that we gifted to D&D when it went back home to Texas. David is absolutely a cat of 9 lives... or more like 18 by now. He has once again retreated from what we thought was surely death's door.
I continue to hope that our next visit will be from a home back in AZ. I came close last summer but that didn't work out... But, as they say, hope springs eternal. My friend Brenda is currently living in Prescott Valley and would love for me to join her. We'll see... 
As always, you are in my thoughts...and you are dearly missed!!
Posted by Ruth Abbott on August 27, 2020
No, I didn't FORGET your birthday...actually we celebrated it "early" with a visit from Austin & Nichole (over this past weekend)...and then I received notes with greetings and hugs from both Renata and Maria exactly on the day. Yesterday I communicated with your family because an immense hurricane was due to come ashore in Louisiana and travel north through Arkansas. So far as I know, your people are all okay.
In some of my recent "cleaning" I came across some cd's with photos we took during our "Odyssey" in 2006. Such memories!! Remember visiting the cemetaries in Midland and putting flowers on the graves? I found a photo we took of a head stone named "NORRIS" where the husband was a Norris and the wife was a Hawkins. Have been "worrying" that clue for a couple of days now... trying to figure out how the pieces fit. Garlene (married to "Hawk" --Ed Hawkins' brother) has been trying to help me with it. Always some new fun!
Nichole and I went through about a dozen of the plastic storage tubs from the garage during her visit. We consolidated some stuff, disposed of some... and some went home with her (smile). We are working toward the day when I will be able to load all the boxes and relocate back to Mesa... soon, I hope.
I love and miss you. Happy birthday #81.
Posted by kathy jones on February 10, 2020
Hard to believe that 10 years have gone by since your dear wife said farewell and you went ahead to the other side.
The joyous news in all of this is that its not a final forever farewell.
Been thinking a lot about Psalm 139 which tells us that there is nowhere we go from the Presence of the Lord /  ‘look into the heavens You’re there and in the dark depths of despair - even there love will find me - knowing that your never alone even if Your hand takes my own to the other side of the sea—even there Your love will find me /
‘All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be’
What an amazing God we have who has good plans and His timetable arranged for each of us!!!
his Life

Q & A

Yesterday one of my schoolmates (whom I haven’t seen in over 50 years) asked me, via Face Book, to describe my husband.  I replied that would take a whole book…  but then in reply to her specific questions, I began to explore “the time before”-- discovering wonderful memories and old photos to accompany some of them.  Life for us changed considerably after Tom’s first stroke at midnight on what was his official retirement day. What followed were years of our “long farewell”. It was healthy for me to remember the days when we were both active and “driven”. Yes, the memories were washed by tears, but then it was just a visit.
Q:  What was your husband like?
Outgoing or introvert?   Funny or serious?      Musical? Athletic?   What attracted you to him?
A:  He was an engineer-- serious, introvert, over-thinker; good provider, a GREAT "Dad" to our exchange students and doting "Poppie" to our grands. Good questions! He was "comfortable" to be around. He inspired confidence. No, not musical or athletic. He did ENJOY music but not creating it. He was an able handiman. His athletic activity was walking... He was the family dog-walker.
Q: What was a favorite thing the two of you liked to do together? (Not counting Mary Kay!)
A: Actually I didn't get into Mary Kay until I retired which was after Tom had both of his strokes. We did do Amway together for several years in the early 80s. We both loved to travel. We did a lot of road tripping within the US. In 1984 we traveled to Europe and toured seven countries. In 1987 we went to Canada together for the Prairie reunions and then took the train to Victoria. We toured Butchart Gardens on that trip and at some other point we were there another time. In 1993 we travel to South America and were in three countries. I got to pretend I was the "Girl from Ipanema", walking on the beach in Rio de Janiero. This morning I have another mental photo from that trip (oh! There are SO many “photos” in my head!) but this one is of Tom at Itaparica doing his version of the Samba. I’m sure I have photos somewhere in a box… but I’m just savoring this one!
Q: It sounds like you and Tom had a good life together!
A: He was very definitely a special guy, and I do miss him. I created a memory page for him on Forever Missed. The link is with his picture at the top of this thread. There are a number of photos on that site, and I keep adding to them. It is like a walk down memory lane for me.           I appreciated Jan asking questions because it gave me a reason to think back over our years together. I don't think all of that information is recorded anywhere and I am not a particularly analytical person.                                                                                                           One thing I did not include was the amount of volunteer work Tom and I did together. We were active in the Chamber of Commerce and some of the spin-off organizations such as Superstition Mountain promotional Corporation, and Lost Dutchman Days. We were active in our church, and other community groups.
Recent stories

Messages received on Tom's Obituary page (Legacy.com)

Shared by Ruth Abbott on February 10, 2020

As i read your posts today i just had to come back here to light a candle in Tom's memory & for you, as you press on without him! I can't begin to fathom the loss & emptiness that He filled in your heart. I very often pray for you & the other widows we both know. I'm sure only Jesus comforts the place he left! It makes my heart sad for you! You are an amazing Woman & honor him well! Love you dear Friend, marla

March 19, 2012


may the memories of Tom keep a smile on your face

Cheryl Z

May 04, 2010

Dear Ruth,
Thank you for sending Tom's "Memories". What a great guy! And you made him very happy -- some consolation, I hope. You have my deepest sympathy and my love.
Lee

May 02, 2010

Dear Ruth and Family,
You were blessed to have Tom in your life, he was so kind and forever positive, filling your life with happiness. I remember his chuckles! He is relieved of all earthly ills so free now to be with you in spirit in his normally bright light. Happy that you are settled in your new life and that Midget his beloved friend is adjusting.

Barbara Preskorn

March 28, 2010 | Centennial, CO

Such a beautiful Guest Book - we love you Ruth - Tom put up a good fight, we will miss him, but look forward to brighter days.

Brenda Offerman

March 14, 2010 | Murrieta, CA

I DONT KNOW YOU BUT I KNOW YOUR UP IN HEAVEN WITH MY MOM AND DAD, MY DAD SERVED IN THE ARMY FOR YEARS , I LOVE ARE FLAG I APPRECIATE WHAT ARE SOIDIERS HAVE DONE I PRAY EVERYDAY FOR ARE SOIDIERS I LOVE AMERICA AND I LOVE ARE SOIDIERS , HE SEEMED LIKE HE WAS A NICE PERSON I SEND MY BLESSINGS TO THE FAMILY MAY GOD BE WITH YOU ALL , MAY YOUR MEMORIES BRANG YOU COMFORT, GOD BLESS.

MICHAEL GLEN ALLRUTZ                                                                                                          March 11, 2010 | LOUISVILLE, KY

Die Bande der Liebe werden mit dem Tod nicht durchschnitten.                                                  Annelie & Christian Schreier

March 07, 2010

For my friend, Tom...

THE FINAL INSPECTION

The Marine stood and faced God, Which must always come to pass.
He hoped his shoes were shining, Just as brightly as his brass.
‘Step forward now, Marine, How shall I deal with you?
Have you always turned the other cheek? To My Church have you been true?’
The soldier squared his shoulders and said, ‘No, Lord, I guess I ain’t.
Because those of us who carry guns, Can’t always be a...

Michael M

March 06, 2010 | Valley Center, CA

To my dearest family, some things I'd like to say...
but first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I'm with you every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me and He...

Judy & Randy Harmon

March 04, 2010 | Valley Center, CA

Dear Ruth & Family,
We would like to extend our condolences.
Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time.
Love,
Gil & Sharon Rollins

Gil & Sharon Rollins

February 17, 2010 | Apache Junction, AZ

Dear Family of Tom Allen Abbott,

Please keep in mind the words of Philipians 4:7 "The peace of God. which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."

February 16, 2010

Messages received this date 10 years ago via Face Book

Shared by Ruth Abbott on February 8, 2020


Ruth Norris Abbott

February 8, 2010 at 6:49 AM

is waking up to a "new" world this morning, too. We put Tom on hospice on Saturday as he needed oxygen to help breathe. Taking medications to slow down his respiration, he's been glassy-eyed or asleep ever since. He's no longer ambulating so last night we moved his bed into the family room. My partner for 36 years is getting ready to leave me.

Ruth Norris Abbott Thanks SO MUCH guys from VBC for coming last night to move furniture. Appreciate each of you!! ...as well as the ones who WANTED to come help.

MaryCiel Miller Ruth, I'm so sorry. My prayers are with you and Tom. The two of you have been blessed with. a beautiful life

Judy Jenkins Abbott Love and prayers from someone who cares.

Anna Hanson Praying for you both!

Rick Houston my prayers are with you both!

Ronda Jenkins Bridges Oh dear Ruth...I'm so sorry...I have a lump in my throat just feeling your sorrow and am praying for abundant comfort as only comes from our Heavenly Father.

Sandy Grimes Walls Rest in the Lord and may His peace surround you all.

Christina Coffman Fredricks I'm so sorry. Praying for peace and comfort in this difficult time.

Gunnar Hanson Our hearts and prayers are with you....

Jack Edwin Saffell Sr. your second grade teacher wants you to know you are in our thoghts and prayers

Judye Ressler Hartzler You are in my thoughts and prayers. This cannot be an easy time for either of you.

Lynn Miller We will continue to pray for you...

Jim-Joyce von Ehrenkrook We are praying for you, Ruth.

Teresa Thomas-Wilson I am so sorry, I too will keep you in my thoughts and prays. God bless you both.

Judy Kooyers We are praying for you and Tom and Mary Lou. I am so sorry...

Jennifer Norris I'm so sorry, my heart is with you right now

Sylvia Strom (((Hugs))) and prayers at this difficult time.

Gloria Ann Cota really sorry to hear this. Glad you are reading about the 23rd Psalm. Praying for you and Tom!

Alejandra de la Lama-Noriega Wish I could give you both a hug. Blessings. With love. Sandra

Karen Hascall Norris (((Ruth))) Praying for you both

Alisa Miller Sending you strength and peace, Ruth.

Kristi Tan Asking for peace for you both.

Samantha Howman we will miss him very much and you are in our prayers

Nancy Hawkins Hollway Oh Ruth..I am so sorry...I am praying for you both during this time.

Patricia Babington Ruthi...You are in my prayers...Tom is in my prayers...Mary Lou is in my prayers...Life has ups and downs...wish most of my friends weren't experiencing so many downs though. Hugs.

DeLinda Dee Norris Brown Oh Lord... you know Ruth's heart. I pray that you will surround her with your presence, peace and strength. Up hold her God! Lord I pray that you comfort those who will miss Tom so much here on earth, and Lord give them your loving mercies in the days and months to come.~Amen

Candice Dice Ruth, I am so sorry to hear about Tom. I pray that God will bring peace and comfort to both of you during this time.

Linda Powell Barrow Ruth, just got back on fb and I am so sorry to hear about Tom. My prayers are with both you and Tom's family.

Elaine Janz Bodner Been away and did not know that Tom was so bad, I am very sorry...my prayers are with you and Tom.