ForeverMissed
Large image

This site was created in memory of Dr. Tom Kandra. We celebrate his compassionate, kind, fun loving spirit and we will remember him always.

Please share a fond memory of Tom by clicking the 'Leave a Tribute' button below. 

July 4, 2022
July 4, 2022
I did not know Dr. Kandra very well. This evening, I was looking for something in my old military records from Germany, & saw Dr. Kandra's notes & thought, oh, I remember him, he was so nice! I remembered him talking about his motorcycle. I thought I'd have a quick look & see where he was practicing nowadays as I occasionally need a pulmonologist. I am sad to see he passed into Spirit so young. He was such an amiable & pleasant fellow the few times I met him. He was so much younger than I would have guessed. I hope his family has healed well, I thought highly of Dr. Kandra! Regards-Elinor an ex patient. 
October 3, 2021
October 3, 2021
Tom and I crossed paths multiple times in our lives. After forming some great memories in Burlington, VT, I would only see him occassionally in the following years often in the most random of places like a beach on Frye Island. Mostly, I remember his warm smile that was so welcoming and the dignity with which he lived his last months knowing his life was coming to an end. During that time, when Barry and I would meet Tom for dinner, I often thought I was getting more out of those nights than he was.  While Tom's life was too short, his presence made the world a better place.
September 26, 2021
September 26, 2021
As I received a picture of Tom and his sister Katri in front of the log cabin my wife Karyn and I moved into after we graduated UVM and exchanged texts with Katri afterwards, and look ahead to the marriage of our son Sam, which has already brought together me and Tom's other college buddies (Jeff Sommer, Mark Franceschetti, Bob Rushford and Bob Hyams) for one of Sam's bachelor parties and will again for the wedding next week (adding Ellery Stone and Tom Charrette to the mix), it encouraged me to reflect on the anniversary that just passed and the pictures I contributed to this website. I am so grateful for all of the happy memories I and Tom's other college buddies shared with him during college, and in the years afterwards including the time Tom and his family lived near Tom C and me in Maine and we enjoyed take out from Tom's favorite restaurant in Portland and listening to Tom's expansive and diverse music collection together (yes, his appreciation of music extended far beyond the Grateful Dead!), and having a weekend UVM reunion at Tom's house in Maine with Jeff, Mark, Bob, Bob, Ellery and Tom C. I am also equally grateful for all of the happy memories and time I have had the opportunity to spend with his wonderful family (and extensions of it!) since I met Tom. On behalf of your college friends (including Dave Chandler as well) we all miss you Tom but appreciate all of the great times we had during and after college, and the additional and continuing contribution you made to our lives by bringing us into the circle of your family.
September 22, 2021
September 22, 2021
10 years. Wishing anybody still grieving the loss of Tom the strength & peace needed to get through a difficult day.

Tom, we have our own little "mini Tom" at home here in LA. "Mini" ... not so much. He's much taller than Tania and me now ;) but "mini Tom" in that he looks like you (and of course your mom). Thinking of you fondly today.
September 24, 2020
September 24, 2020
Thinking of Doc today and what he did for me....I am "still" and will be forever grateful.
September 22, 2020
September 22, 2020
If there is a heaven, Tom and Bob are there now.
September 22, 2020
September 22, 2020
Nine years since we lost this great man. But still, his colleagues and friends and patients miss him terribly. Since then, we have lost his beloved dad Myron and sadly another of his friends here (God bless you, Bob). I'm sure they are somewhere sharing stories.
Recently, someone here at work tried to excuse a doctor's harsh behavior as, "oh, it's normal for someone who trained in the military to be severe." We all spoke up at once, "Umm ... did you ever meet Tom? Not true!"
September 22, 2020
September 22, 2020
Hey, Tom.

I still remember our last visit to Maine. You watched the Tour de France on your iPad a lot. I have started cycling more and it makes me think of you. On our coast "little Andy" (now taller than me) resembles you so we have our own little daily reminder of you. We haven't seen Moni or Rowan in a bit but we miss them and luckily see the occasional Instagram photos so we know they're doing well and post Covid maybe travel opens up opportunities again!

Oh, and I have two "little" Eagles fans so we still tell the story of Jeff, you and me in the bar in Annapolis watching the "Miracle at the Meadowlands" every year. You have the distinction of having shared the single best football game I've ever watched in my 52 years with me! I'm glad we shared that.
September 22, 2019
September 22, 2019
I cannot believe that it has already been 8 years since Tom passed.
Tom, I have recently been thinking of you: what you would have done, what you would have said in many situations and how you would have decided. I appreciated your kind and wise words and admired how you never "lost your cool".
We still miss you in our practice here in Bangor.
Thoughts to Rowan, Moni and your whole family
May 12, 2018
May 12, 2018
Tom still is vital in all our lives at work, and personally in me. I often think, "Tom would have done this," or "Tom would have said this," and, most importantly, "Tom would have thought that was funny."

His presence was unique, no one can duplicate it. So sorely missed among everyone who knew him. His name comes up so often .....

Comfort to his parents, siblings, Moni, and his precious daughter Rowan. And everyone who ever met Tom. Happy birthday, dude, I know you are watching over us !
September 22, 2017
September 22, 2017
Remembering Tom and his family today. Still feel his missing presence. Our thoughts are still with you, his loved ones.
.
May 19, 2017
May 19, 2017
Tom is still remembered fondly by everyone in our practice. He was a gentle and sensitive doctor, had a great sense of humor, and was a good friend to all who knew him. The nurses still recall events of his time here with great warmth. We miss you here at EMMC, Tom.
March 1, 2016
March 1, 2016
I have just discovered Dr. Kandra's passing and I now have a very "empty" feeling.....I credit him with a correct diagnosis that most likely saved my life - respiratory issues. I grew fond of "doc" and got to know him as he did me. He was a really caring person and I never left his office with any question unanswered. My sincere thoughts go to his family. I will miss him.
September 24, 2015
September 24, 2015
Love and prayers for Tom's family, always.
September 23, 2015
September 23, 2015
Tom I still struggle to understand how you left us so early. I'm in a research collaboration with some doctors from Stanford and when I worked out there we were at a site on top of a hill at the golf course that looked down over the university and the hospital. As I looked out it was bittersweet for me to see the place where you went from being a brand new intern to a gifted pulmonologist. I remember your stories about how beautiful it was in those hills and I wondered if the paths I walked there were ones that you used to walk with Monique. The world and our profession are poorer for your absence, but richer for those of us you taught. I hope that I bring some of your legacy to my patients and that I'm doing my part to keep that beautiful spark alive for them. We miss you too much. Bill and Debbie Beninati
P.S. - Our tiny Mary called you Dot (short for Doctor Tom I guess), she lit up when she saw you, and she looked like a toy doll in your arms - she is in college now!
September 22, 2015
September 22, 2015
What I remember about Tom?

In the decade+ I knew him he always made our family gatherings a pleasure. He was funny, charming, a prankster and out to make other people smile and be happy. I literally can't think of a single time he had any negativity or created any conflict. I know all of that sounds Pollyanna-ish but it's really the Tom I remember.

I'll always remember football at the Ram's Head Dec 2010 with Jeff, me and Tom. I seldom drink beer during football games but it was Christmastime so I figured what the hell. We sat and watched my Eagles get pummeled by the Giants until 8 minutes left and a game still known as "The New Miracle at the Meadowlands" (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miracle_at_the_New_Meadowlands) we scored three touchdowns and won the game. Silly memory, I know, but hanging with the brothers-in-law drinking beer and watching football is as memorable as family gets.

We miss you, Tom. It's been four years and we still honor your life by getting together every summer possible with your family whom we continue to cherish.
September 22, 2015
September 22, 2015
Many people who know Tom would surprised to hear that when he was in college he was one of the leanest bouncers ever hired by a local bar. Whenever fights would break out, he always told the other bouncer to take care of it and he would get the next one…but of course Tom was smart enough to never get the next one. Tom was a great friend and I appreciate all of the memories of the time I spent with him. Love and best wishes to his family...today and always.
September 22, 2015
September 22, 2015
Seems like just yesterday I was trying to beat Tom in basketball, in a drinking game, or an outdoor activity.  I was never succesful in any of the three.  Still so vivid in so many wonderful memories.  Thinking of him and his family, today and throughout the years.  Jeff
September 22, 2015
September 22, 2015
Tom's presence is still strong here in our office practice. We miss him terribly. He's still mentioned fondly by nurses and other ICU staff, whenever some little thing reminds us of him. He was unique in his easy-going nature, his sense of humor, his gentle compassion, and wisdom that belied his young age. We truly miss you, Tom.
October 9, 2014
October 9, 2014
Getting ready for 25th Reunion from Georgetown School of Medicine this month, and sad we will be missing someone who was truly admired by his peers, for his easy spirit, his intellect, his humor, his kindness. He has inspired us to establish the M'89 Scholarship Fund, in memory of our deceased classmates, so his spirit may be passed on to the next generation of Georgetown doctors!
September 22, 2014
September 22, 2014
Thinking of Tom on this anniversary. My love and best wishes to his family.
June 24, 2014
June 24, 2014
I worked with Dr Kandra in Landstuhl Germany. I will forever remember his sense of humor, his kind spirit and his willingness to share his knowledge with a curious young Army private. Love and blessings to his family.
October 15, 2012
October 15, 2012
Tom was a great friend in college & afterwards. Too many fun times to list..those Jeff mentioned, rappelling w/his 6'5" frame on my back, taking Katri & Tania to see The Who, hiking down Mt Marcy in the dark, great times in Nashua, Vegas, Annapolis, Palo Alto, ME, etc. Tom touched many w/his kindness, humor, intellect, integrity, sincerity & compassion, I miss & think about him every day.
October 12, 2012
October 12, 2012
So many memories from UVM, College St/Camp Cave, traveling out West through Vegas, visiting him in DC, Germany, ME, etc. As I watch the Yanks beat Baltimore (sorry Balt. fans) this morning (China time).... Sinatra starts singing NY,NY.  Reminds of the time Tom won the lip syncing contest at Minerva's with his NY, NY Heinz A-1 sauce.  A special creative, person who truly cared!!!!!
September 30, 2012
September 30, 2012
When my husband was looking into the "possibility" of finding a new job we began by coming to EMMC. Tom was the first person my husband met. At the end of the two hours, my husband was enthralled with him and decided to come to Bangor to work with him. Tom was never too busy to ask me how I was adjusting to Bangor, he always asked after my children. Our heart still aches, we miss him...
September 26, 2012
September 26, 2012
I will always think of Tom on 9/22 (and other times as well). Not seeing Tom much as adults, as a kid I always thought he was a gentle, kind soul and as it turns out, this is who he was as an adult as well. A good man indeed....and sorely missed.
September 25, 2012
September 25, 2012
I'll always remember Tom calling me at home one day just after Cameron was born. He spent two hours on the phone with me --- listening, sharing medical advice, and sympathizing with me while I cried. The amazing thing is, we had never even met. He was an angel to me that day, and always will be. Thank you, Tom. Your kindness, friendship and warmth will never be forgotten.
September 24, 2012
September 24, 2012
I can believe a year has gone by so quickly. One thought I have about Tom was how much he "towered" over me. I could not believe the little cousin I had known as a boy would grow up to be such a tall man. I have fond memories of Tom and all the Kandra family events. Tom, as a part of our Kandra family, lives in our hearts and memories forever.
September 24, 2012
September 24, 2012
I had the pleasure of meeting Tom only a handful of times due to geography. One of the most vivid thoughts that I have about Tom is that whenever you spoke to him, he REALLY listened. What a caring, compassionate individual. The world is missing him dearly. 
Kimberly Kandra
September 22, 2012
September 22, 2012
On this one year anniversary, please help us remember the many wonderful things about Tom. We hold his memory in our hearts always.
September 22, 2012
September 22, 2012
Tom had a wonderful way of making you feel so cared for and loved. I shared so many special times with him while he was in med school. He had such compassion and love to share. I also loved his wonderful sense of humor, he made things fun and memorable. I always wanted him as my older brother! What a special guy!
September 22, 2012
September 22, 2012
Tom thought is was great to call in the middle of the night on my Birthday...said he wanted to be the first one to wish me a Happy Birthday! I remember bumping into furniture and getting bruises on my way to pick up the phone. It was always my favorite call...
September 22, 2012
September 22, 2012
When Tom was in med school at Georgetown, there were a few special Sundays in Great Falls for him to get a home-cooked meal, shoot hoops, pass the football, and just hang out. What a great role model for our sons. We think fondly of him often.

George and Carol Thomas
September 22, 2012
September 22, 2012
I remember when Tom was in California doing a rotation at Travis Air Force Base and he stayed with me. I introduced him to my group of friends and I remember how much they all liked him. Instantly, he became one of the gang and did everything with us. That was a very fun 6 weeks with Tom. Lots of smiles and laughter!
September 22, 2012
September 22, 2012
Kay,Joe and Tom came for a visit to New Hope.Joe and Tom were wearing sweatshirts with there ages on the front and we walked around our neighborhood.I loved that I had a cousin who was a Dead Head and I think of him often when listening to the music.Tom and Myron race with me everytime on the race track.Rock ON!!
September 22, 2012
September 22, 2012
Tom had the most beautiful, angelic smile - but there was always a hint of mischief lurking there... and we will never forget how when my brother's heart stopped on the operating table and he had to be in deep coma for many long weeks to allow his heart to recover, Tom so very kindly volunteered to be the "translator" between brother's doctors and my family - an incredible gift!
September 22, 2012
September 22, 2012
I remember the first Christmas with Tom. I was new to dating Tania. She told me her brother was 6 foot 5. Gulp. What a Teddy Bear. Whew. We watched a 2-year-old Rowan entertain us by staring at us through the sides of her eyes. We all laughed. In 12 years I never heard Tania tell any story about childhood withTom that wasn't told in fondness & laughter. I'll remember him that way.
September 22, 2012
September 22, 2012
Was staying in Nashua for a week with Kay and Myron. Tom came home, had been traveling, and he wanted to have classical musical playing while we ate dinner. He then preceded to tell me about his travels and how you had to live life with passion. He reiterated to me that I had to find my thing, whatever it was, and love doing it and not worry about what others think. Best advice ever.
September 22, 2012
September 22, 2012
Tom thought it was hilarious to have me paged in airports and other public places as "Tan-ya".  He also like to take our shoes and throw just one of them onto the roof when we were kids. :)

Leave a Tribute

Light a Candle
Lay a Flower
Leave a Note
 
Recent Tributes
July 4, 2022
July 4, 2022
I did not know Dr. Kandra very well. This evening, I was looking for something in my old military records from Germany, & saw Dr. Kandra's notes & thought, oh, I remember him, he was so nice! I remembered him talking about his motorcycle. I thought I'd have a quick look & see where he was practicing nowadays as I occasionally need a pulmonologist. I am sad to see he passed into Spirit so young. He was such an amiable & pleasant fellow the few times I met him. He was so much younger than I would have guessed. I hope his family has healed well, I thought highly of Dr. Kandra! Regards-Elinor an ex patient. 
October 3, 2021
October 3, 2021
Tom and I crossed paths multiple times in our lives. After forming some great memories in Burlington, VT, I would only see him occassionally in the following years often in the most random of places like a beach on Frye Island. Mostly, I remember his warm smile that was so welcoming and the dignity with which he lived his last months knowing his life was coming to an end. During that time, when Barry and I would meet Tom for dinner, I often thought I was getting more out of those nights than he was.  While Tom's life was too short, his presence made the world a better place.
September 26, 2021
September 26, 2021
As I received a picture of Tom and his sister Katri in front of the log cabin my wife Karyn and I moved into after we graduated UVM and exchanged texts with Katri afterwards, and look ahead to the marriage of our son Sam, which has already brought together me and Tom's other college buddies (Jeff Sommer, Mark Franceschetti, Bob Rushford and Bob Hyams) for one of Sam's bachelor parties and will again for the wedding next week (adding Ellery Stone and Tom Charrette to the mix), it encouraged me to reflect on the anniversary that just passed and the pictures I contributed to this website. I am so grateful for all of the happy memories I and Tom's other college buddies shared with him during college, and in the years afterwards including the time Tom and his family lived near Tom C and me in Maine and we enjoyed take out from Tom's favorite restaurant in Portland and listening to Tom's expansive and diverse music collection together (yes, his appreciation of music extended far beyond the Grateful Dead!), and having a weekend UVM reunion at Tom's house in Maine with Jeff, Mark, Bob, Bob, Ellery and Tom C. I am also equally grateful for all of the happy memories and time I have had the opportunity to spend with his wonderful family (and extensions of it!) since I met Tom. On behalf of your college friends (including Dave Chandler as well) we all miss you Tom but appreciate all of the great times we had during and after college, and the additional and continuing contribution you made to our lives by bringing us into the circle of your family.
Recent stories

Twice

January 27, 2014

I had the good fortune to meet Tom Kandra twice.

We both graduated from Georgetown Medical School in 1989 but during those 4 intense years we infrequently crossed paths. No doubt this was because Tom was one of the smart guys and I was camped out in the last row of every course. Tom graduated brilliantly, I believe 2nd in the class, while I muddled through fair enough.

Six years later fate gave me another opportunity. Tom and I were assigned adjacent offices in the Pulmonary Clinic in Germany at Landstuhl Regional Medical Center. Tom was in the Air Force and I in the Army.  Tom noticed me, single at the time and a stray in this new setting overseas.  As is his nature he adopted me into his home. Tom's passion for music and life in general was infectious. He introduced me to Puccini and John Lee Hooker, to the virtues of the German Shepherd, and to Moni's divine spaetzle. We spent our weekends skiing the alps, at museums and castles, moving his furniture from house to house, and in sorry attempts to learn the German language. Oktoberfest, the Starkbierfest, Paulaner Keller, and Kloster Andechs. The prime directive ... to taste as many Bavarian beers as physically possible. OK... on occasion, we did have more than a taste.

Then life intervened... I met my wife, Tom transferred to Texas, and I mustered out of the Army. We again had no communication, but Tom's impression on me was such that I "Googled" him often over the years. I had little to show for it until last night when a gnawing feeling had me change the wording of my search. After viewing this site, shedding of tears, and a sleepless night I find myself paying tribute to one of the kindest and most gentle souls I have yet come across. I am so much better for having met Tom twice.

Our Last Great Beer Together

September 22, 2013

I don't need to tell anybody reading Tom's rememberance website that he was a fun-loving person.

Sadly, having met him later in life and our time together mostly being reduced to family holidays aka "The Christmas Freeze," we didn't get enough sessions with just the brothers-in-law and some beers.

But we did share one special drinking session together along with fellow BIL Jeff McLellan.

The 3 of us went to The Ram's Head in Baltimore to watch a crucial end-of-season football game between the Philadelphia Eagles (my team) and the NY Giants. I don't drink often during games but this was XMAS holiday so we must have had 4-5 pints together.

Tom could throw them back like the rest of us.

I needed beer. It was a crucial game and my team was getting crushed. There were 8 minutes left in the game and the Eagles were down 21 points. I asked if we could leave but Jeff had Brian Westbrook (Eagles running back) on his fantasy football team so we had to stay.

The entire room had Eagles shirts on except one 9-year-old boy with a Giants jersey. He was taunting us with his childish grins.

Miraculously the Eagles scored 3 touchdowns in 7 minutes. I had never seen anything like that in my life. The bar was wild & roaring with enthusiasm except for that poor boy. 

I think even Tom was pulling for me even though he could have cared less about the Eagles.

With 14 seconds left in the game the Giants were to punt the ball to the Eagles. We were prepared for overtime, which I assumed meant a few more pints.

The Giants punted the ball to DeSean Jackson who fumbled, then picked the ball up and ran 70 yards for a touchdown as time ran out. The entire bar hugged one another even though we didn't know anybody.

Literally every grown man hugged every other grown man like family. That poor boy. I doubt he'll ever recover.

It was the most memorable football game of my life and for any Philadelphia Eagles fan. All you have to do is say "DeSean Jackson punt return" and you'll have a friend (just don't say it in NY).

So famous did this game become that it is now voted as one of the best comebacks in history and Jackson's runback was voted by fans on NLF.com as the greatest football play in history. And the game has an official name & website: Miracle at the New Meadowlands.

I know that story doesn't have enough color of the wonderful & fun loving person that Tom was. But you already know that about him.

I share the story here because it was one of the most memorable and fun sports days of my life and I shared it and one-too-many pints with Tom and with my other brother-in-law, Jeff.

We'll always have the that day together. And I'll always remember your smiling face, long hair and relaxed ways.

Tom, the Gentle Giant

September 11, 2013

Tom and my husband, Bill, were good friends while in the Air Force together. Our two daughters remember him fondly.  When she was six, our oldest received a shoulder ride from "Dr. Tom" and replied, "WOW!  Now I know how a giraffe feels!"  Tom, who loved her analysis, indulged her further with a few trips up and down the stairs.  Our youngest daughter invited Tom, (who she called "Dot"--her way of saying "Dr. Tom) to her 2nd birthday party.  We lived in San Antonio at the time and her birthday coincided with Fiesta week. So, naturally, we had over 2 dozen cascarones--confetti filled colored eggs-- at her party.  It is tradition during Fiesta week to crack cascarones over the heads of loved ones to bring good fortune.  Tom was wonderful!  He got down on all fours so our 2-year-old (who was tiny for her age) could enthusiastically crack a few cascarones on his head for good luck. He also carved pumpkins with our girls with surgical precision and artistic flair.  
Sadly, our son never got to meet Tom.  He's heard many stories, however, as we keep his memory alive.  Tom will always be remembered as a gentle soul with a wicked sense of humor and a natural way with small children and animals.  Although his time with us was too short, we are better people for having known him.
Bill, Debbie, Anna, Mary and Gabriel Beninati 

Invite others to Tom's website:

Invite by email

Post to your timeline