Saturday, April 27th, 2013 at 8:00 pm, I lost my best friend and partner of 14 years, Mary Patricia (Trish) Bliss, to the horrible effects of Multiple Sclerosis (MS). Although MS is not in itself a fatal disease, the way it insidiously ravages a healthy body is devastating. The last 8 months of her life were filled with regular emergency trips to the hospital with high fever, bronchitis, pneumonia, urinary tract infections, or any combination thereof. The ER doctors at Arlington Memorial got to know us very well indeed.
For Trish, the constant, unrelenting, excruciating pain was the very worst. Unbelievably though, throughout her entire battle, right up to her last waking hours, she was always upbeat and cheerful. Although she would sometimes get frustrated when she couldn’t hold onto her fork, or drop a drink on the floor, she was NEVER down in dumps, discouraged or in a bad mood. Even if something bad happened, she always had a positive comment. THAT amazed me most of all about her!
She gently fell asleep late Friday night as usual, and passed away Saturday night, still asleep, peacefully and quietly, with no pain or suffering. For that gift from God, I am, and will be, eternally thankful.
She was diagnosed 12 years ago, beginning with symptoms of extreme fatigue and tingling sensations in her legs. It took many trips to various specialists and a plethora of tests to confirm that in fact, it was MS.
The first seven years or so weren’t particularly difficult, as the symptoms would pop up, and then regress for a period of time. As time went on however, she began to experience more frequent bouts of weakness in her legs, with periodic stumbling and falling. For a while, she was able to get around the house aided by a walker, but then finally, in January of 2010, she totally lost the use of her legs. I would help her to a chair in the living room, where she would spend her days - and many nights - as the pain was too severe to allow me to help get her back into a wheelchair and into bed. Many of the nights, she would slide out of the chair onto the floor and I would be awakened by her crying out in pain. It took everything I had to lift her off of the floor and get her back into the chair.
Several weeks of this horror led me to start contacting the “National MS Society” for help. I was glad that over many years of supporting the “National MS Society” with thousands of dollars in contributions and thousands more in supporting family and friends in “MS Walkathons”, “MS Bikeathons”, “MS Rideathons” “MS Swimathons” and any other kind of “athon” they could come up with to suck money out of the masses – and - NOW I thought, it would prove to have been a great investment! To my total disbelief, the “National MS Society” doesn’t provide any help for people with MS! All they “provided” for Trish and I was a link on their website with a list of phone numbers of local social service organizations – which I had already researched and contacted - on my own through Google searches! I WAS BLOWN AWAY!! THIS IS ALL WE GET FOR MY THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS IN DONATIONS? What about all of the multi-multi-multi millions and millions of dollars they collect from other unsuspecting individuals?!? … I was determined to find out.
Sorry to digress – but I’ve now become “enemy number one” of the “National MS Society”! I’ll spend the rest of my life bringing these dirtbags to justice! I in fact pushed them (National MS Society) to show me their financial statements, which they finally did send to me. Here’s what I gleaned from them: The majority of your donations go to executive salaries and travel – LOTS of travel. Some goes to many other employees and their travel, with a pittance going to “research” (of which is not specified) and NOTHING going to actual MS patients! They send out “invitations” in the mail – sometimes we get 2 or 3 each week – for luncheons at various local restaurants, with a purported guest MS speaker. My blood would boil each time I opened an invitation because there’s nothing that Trish would have loved more than to JUST BE ABLE TO GO TO A RESTAURANT!! So, all you’re doing by donating to the National MS Society is perpetuating and propagating the social activities of the National MS Society elite and their fat salaries.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, never donate anything to these frauds! If anyone cares to donate anything as a tribute to Trish, donate to the ASPCA or any animal care related organization (other than PETA please). Trish’s greatest love, second only to family, was any and all animals! Once, 6 or 7 years ago while I was away from home with work, she found a sick bird in the backyard late in the evening. She drove the bird all the way to the only place open, a 24 hour animal hospital to see if they could save it – a 30 minute drive each way! I remember I was so tickled by her story! I don’t even remember what happened to the little bird. That was just so typical of Trish!
Anyway, I was promised many times by the National MS Society that they would “at the least” send a representative to visit Trish and me – which of course they never did. The most recent “promise” was from just a month ago. … So! Yesterday (Sunday) I replied to the recent email I received from one “Kelly Moran”, Associate Vice President, Community Services, National MS Society, and also copied Glenn Beck in my reply, notifying her of Trish’s passing and strongly suggesting that the National MS Society either refund all of my donations over the many years or donate $10,000.00 to the ASPCA in Trish’s memory. I’ll keep everyone posted on my progress.
Between the stress of trying to care for Trish, and the added stress of not being able to obtain one iota of help from the “National MS Society”, I suffered a heart attack in May of 2010. Fortunately, it was a mild heart attack and even more fortunately, and to my amazement, a heart catheterization showed no signs of arterial blockage. Unable to work myself, and with no other form of help, I concentrated on getting Trish expedited into the Medicaid program. During my period of recovery however, and with no help at home, we had no choice but to place Trish in a nursing home. She was there for a little over one year. I would visit her every day that I was able to, but it was very depressing to see her there with all of those other poor souls - that were doing nothing more than literally just waiting to die.
As was typical with Trish however, she would spend her days in a power wheelchair that I found on eBay at a good price, visiting with the other patients, lifting their spirits with amusing stories and laughter – always being positive – never feeling sorry for herself – and NEVER uttering a negative word! She became the shining star of the nursing home and was loved by her fellow patients and the entire staff! Everyone at the nursing home was heartbroken when I was well enough to bring her back home.
Trish’s greatest fear of all was the thought of having to spend the rest of her life in a nursing home. I promised her, time and time again – that as long as I was alive – she would never spend another day in a nursing home. Thank God, I was able to keep that promise!
One of the care providers at the nursing home, Kalisha Robinson became good friends with Trish and upon Trish’s return home, quit her job at the nursing home and became her only home healthcare provider. Kalisha came to our house every morning for a few hours to get Trish cleaned up and fed, and again every evening for a few hours to get her ready for bed – seven days a week! Kalisha and Trish were just like sisters here at home. I could hear them laughing all over the house – even outside! Unfortunately due to a misunderstanding with the company Kalisha worked for (Kalisha never did anything wrong), they informed us Kalisha would no longer be able to care for Trish. We were both really hurt by this as we had come to know and love Kalisha as family.
Another dear friend of Trish’s (and me too) is Bertha Michel, whom we originally met about seven years ago through our veterinarian as an individual that provided services as a pet sitter. Bertha would walk our dog “Lily” whenever I would be away from home with work. When Trish became bed ridden, Bertha not only took over caring for Lily, but would visit Trish very often at the nursing home; always bringing a little gift or a flower. Bertha also spent many hours with Trish here at home, watching TV, talking, helping with whatever she could – running errands – running to a fast food place if Trish wanted something.
Bertha was also a home health provider with another company, so when we lost Kalisha, Bertha immediately volunteered to quit her job and assume total care of Trish, which of course, both Trish and I welcomed and appreciated! Bertha was also just like family to Trish and I and we love her very much. It was very difficult work for Bertha, especially seven days a week, so Bertha’s company provided us with a weekend person to allow Bertha a little break.
We were blessed with another wonderful care provider in the form of Monica Smith. Monica took over the duties of caring for Trish on Saturday’s and Sunday’s. Monica and Trish quickly became really good friends and dearly loved each other. It was Monica that was here with Trish and me this past Saturday night when Trish stopped breathing. While I was on the phone with 911 and watching for the paramedics, Monica desperately worked on Trish, performing CPR until the paramedics arrived. Monica was devastated and in tears when the paramedics said there was nothing more they could do….
Bertha arrived within minutes of my call to her Saturday night with the horrible news. Monica and Bertha stayed with me while answering a zillion questions from theArlingtonpolice officers and awaiting arrival of the coroner to remove Trish’s body. Ironically, Monica’s husband is also anArlingtonpolice officer (however not one of the responding officers). During this process, I was able to respond to the questions (intelligently, I hope) but nonetheless in total shock and disbelief of what had happened over the past several hours. In fact, as I write these words, I’m still in shock and disbelief. Having watched many times as the paramedics rolled her out of the house and into the ambulance on her monthly trips to the ER, it hit me the hardest watching as the coroner rolled her this time lifeless, covered body, out the front door never to return…but at the same time – at total peace, knowing her horrendous suffering is finally over, and once again - now and for all eternity, she’ll be able to walk and run - and especially - play with all of the animals she so loved - in heaven.
