We LOVED you dearly; we couldn’t make you stay,
A LOVING heart stopped beating; we cried and cried; the pain still hurts so deeply,

GOD broke our hearts to prove to us, he only takes the very best,
He knew that you were in pain; he knew that you were suffering,
He knew that you would never get well on earth,
He knew that your way was getting rough and rough,
He knew the rivers were hard to cross and hills were hard to climb for you,
So he closed your eyelids and whispered “Peace in you”.
It broke our hearts to lose you but you didn’t go alone,
Part of us went with you when the day GOD called you his home.

We were not just brother-sister relationship. Sometimes we were like father-daughter,  mother-son and good friends relationship.  

Whether he was good or bad, you had unconditional LOVE for him.
Your LOVE began before he was born;
You have gone through with him;
Time of Joy and Happiness,
Difficulties and Differences,
Sorrow and wounds until, at the end,
What remained finally was your LOVE that was the one began before he was born.
Prayers for your peace.
LOVE you mom and tight hugs to you from your emotional and supportive daughter, as always!!

When he was small baby, he was such a cute baby, very adamant.  He troubles my mom all the time when he was small baby.  When he was a 2-year-old, my mom went to temple and she was returning back home while my dad was with us. The power went off and my dad was lighting a candle. That time my little brother went searching for Mom.  He went outside the house and was standing and crying on the road.  An old lady, we didn’t know who, didn’t feel it was good to leave the kid alone on the road side because lots of vehicles were running on the road, and it was risky.  So she picked him up and took him inside the office.  They gave him lots of food to eat. He was crying, asking for mom and not eating the food. Mom reached home and asked dad where Vetri was.  Then they searched but couldn’t find him. Immediately my dad’s friends and everyone in our place started searching for him, but couldn’t find him. My mom was crying very loudly.  Finally, one of my dad’s friends found him with the old people and brought him back home. I was very small girl too that time but still remembered that instance, stored in memory.

We used to play together, visit temple together, go outside together, bike together in one bike. I can’t put into words how much we both enjoyed that.  He was like body guard for me. We would go together nicely and fight each other on the way.  He would hit me badly and I also used to hit him back. We would go swimming in our hometown Sathy Bhawani River. We would play together with pigeons a lot and most of the time we would both feed the cattle and play with them. All these things are still in my memory and will remain for long.

Vetri was at age 7 went by walk from Sathyamangalam to Palani around 150 kilometers / 90 miles with my dad’s friends. My dad had a wish that Vetri would go by walk to Murugan temple and my lil brother made it at age 7. Amazing and very determined lil boy.

When he was 11th grade  he has to do his Biology(Botany and Zoology)record assignment work, he doesn't like drawing so he asked me if I could help him so we had a deal I told him I would finish his drawing assignment work within a week and he has to gift me something. He said ok, as we had a deal I have finished his assignment work in a week time and he gave me lots of gifts new pen, pencil , scale, eraser, sharpener apart from that he made on his own powder puff with velvet cloth. I liked it a lot, on that day onwards I am using the same powder puff till now, I would see his effort and with love he made for sis. 

Vetri was always top in mathematics during his school times, his memory power and general knowledge were just amazing. Anytime someone would ask a question on any topic, he would explain in a way that everyone felt he was such a brainy and brilliant guy.  He always updated himself with general knowledge, GK was his favorite subject and Mathematics too. Another of his favorite subject was Social Science.  Any time in his sleep or he was even after drinking if someone would ask about any temple or Hindu Gods’ history, he would explain it to them amazingly.  Even I myself say wow, he was such a talented person.

Remembered on my masters interview time the panel list asked me a question: what is Indian mathematician Ramanujan's special contribution subject in mathematics. I have answered; his special contribution subject is 'Algebra' and immediately I knew I was wrong though I was school second in mathematics on my 12th grade, school/college folks call me as Tiger in mathematics and 8 papers 100/100, I couldn't answer the question correctly. I was very upset and I was discussing with my best friend Geetha one of the best student in my batch, she told me Ramanujan's special contribution is Trigonometry, even that was not correct answer. We didn't have Internet facility that time to search the answer online. I went back to home my brother was at home, he had a day off from his driving work, I told him interview panel asked me this question my brother immediately answered its 'Number Theory' in our native language Tamil, he said that he read on his 7th standard. Myself and my friend Geetha were shocked.

He had amazing memory power, he has memorized the entire book of 'Bhagavad Gita' any time even on his sleep ask he used to tell every chapter with same dialogue in Tamil.

It happened slowly my Dad lost his finance business. He made lots of major big losses in his business. It affected the family very much and he left our family and stayed away from us for many years. I can’t explain the kind of time my mom, me and my brother had.  It was very hard time. I and my brother started earning money with mom after school time, picking flowers, making the garlands and selling them; milking cattle and many other jobs for survival. Though we didn’t have much money, at the end of the day, we three people were bonded together with lots of LOVE. I can’t forget those times till end of my LIFE.

During my brother's 11th grade year, he had a small part time job in small shop and it was so memorable on his first salary he bought Gold finger Ring for me with so much LOVE, I can’t forget that moment till my end.

After 12th grade, my brother did not go for higher degrees though he was very good in his studies because there was no money for higher education. We didn’t even have 10 rupees to buy application form for my undergraduate college program. Mom borrowed 50 rupees from her sister and we bought two application forms so I could apply. It was a very hard time financially for my family. Initially we kids faced difficulties adjusting to the bad times because my dad used to be a big business man at Sathyamangalam, a financially very wealthy person, and he was known by many people. We kids never had money problems until he lost a lot of business. I was going to college since I was good and top in studies with no support from Dad. I used to get minimal scholarship from Gowda’s association.  Brother started to work as a Truck driver for running the home and to survive in this world. I would say he was Super HERO at that time in the family. There were times my brother fed food, bought clothes for me, he did his best to support my education with his little earnings. I would say he was filling my DAD’s place.

After few years, my brother bought his own truck with his hard work and with support of truck/lorry finance. He was a self-made guy. I was doing my final project work at Bangalore and my total monthly fees was a big amount;  My brother paid my accommodation money every month and that’s very touching in my Life as my lil brother did his best for me. First time he bought Indian traditional Silk saree for me, I still have that silk saree and it still looks new.

He was definitely a body guard for me and my cousins too.  Any guy who made comments to us he would not leave them.  He would go behind that person and hit him, then return back home.  The same way he never pass any comments to girls.  He respected girls and talked to them very nicely with respect.  I loved him for this one best quality. Obviously he talked to everyone very nicely.  He was liked by many people in our hometown Sathyamangalam. When we would go out with him, we used to feel very secure and he was a big body guard for us.

Vetri knew some of my close friends Geetha, Alak, Vidya, Deepu and other frds too. He has seen them; whenever I needed help; they all helped me financially and gave me moral support. Very often he used to tell my mom Bhu has very good frds and he remembered my frds birthday, he used to call me from India and remind me to wish them, that was so sweet of him.    

On end of Yr'2004, first time I was travelling to other country US. My brother, mom and my close frds Alak, Deepu had came with me to airport to send me off. I saw my brother and mom had little tears on their eyes, it was emotional. Once I reached US my brother wrote me this email and very touching:
"Dear sis, How are you. We are all fine here. Happy pongal wishes to you, how was your pongal celebrations there. I didnt see your photo in my mail. please send it again, i want to see you. you are always in my eyes itself. here climate is very chill. how was the climate over there. Here i and mother are fine, we always talking about you only. If i get time,ill make a call to you, here the days are going fine but we are missing you a lot. always thinking about you. your loving brother, vetri. "

He was always doing dangerous things. He didn’t care much for Life.  Anything dangerous was a challenge for him, and he attempted many dangerous activities in his life. Once, when he was in the 5th grade, he was playing with a few guys. Guys challenged themselves to see who would go to the top of the electric post and return back first. It was exactly around 6pm in the evening. My brother climbed the electric post first and he was about to touch the top of some electric wires when my Dad’s friend circled Vetri and called my brother to come down, and not touch the wires.  When my dad came to know about that, Dad punished my brother Vetri with full anger.

Vetri was a dare devil guy. Once he went to Orissa for his truck load. He jumped from bridge to the river around 0.5 kilometers height. He liked to do any dangerous activities, he always had “Do or Die” attitude.

Once, one of his trucks/lorries went to load the sand from valley at Sathyamangalam forest, suddenly he spotted a single wild elephant coming towards the truck, all the workers and drivers went and hid behind the trees and bush, my brother Vetri without fear ran behind the elephant and touched the elephant tail and then return back. My brother Vetri didn’t tell my mom that he went behind elephant and touched the tail and came back, next day the workers and drivers went to my home to see my brother Vetri, they all told my mom your Son is like “DARE DEVIL” he don’t have bit fear in life and explained the elephant story to mom.

Everyone in my hometown used to call Vetri as ‘Snake Man’.  He killed many Cobras and caught them by hand without fear.  He knew the technique of how to catch cobras.  He would just go slowly and catch the cobras in his hand, and hold the neck of cobra by pressing with his thumb. The snake would sometimes spiral around his hand but that wouldn’t deter my brother’s guts.  When he caught a snake by hand, people watching him would run away with fear.  

Vetri always wanted to do different dangerous things which people would not even try.  He once climbed the coconut tree at home and all of sudden from top of the coconut tree came down like a squirrel on the branch, jumped down on the floor.  All drivers were shocked and scared looking at Vetri.

His passion was driving: New motorbikes, new cars and new trucks/lorries. Initially he used to drive his truck himself, no drivers. Once his truck went for salt loading, he was a very aggressive guy, he took more quantity on his load.  It was raining; he was driving on the road in the night.  He was a little thirsty and he was drinking water while driving in one hand.  Since the road was wet and slippery, and he had heavy load in the truck and there was turn on the road, he lost the control and the truck fell down sideways with heavy salt load and went inside a small hut but luckily nobody was hurt.  There were people sleeping in that small hut but nothing happened to my brother and the cleaner. That was the first time I heard my brother got scared in his life and he called my mom on the phone.  He cried loudly. When he called I was at home.  I was working in Bangalore and went to my hometown for weekends. We were praying and worried, and cried for him.  The truck needed to be rebuilt as the body got damaged completely.  It was very expensive. 

Vetri was a Top Personality guy at my hometown, humble, very brilliant and good guy.  He had contacts with all the Big Business people.  He was very famous in his truck business, knew in-out of truck transportation business.  He helped many ppl/friends for lorry-truck financing. He helped by lend/donate money to many of his friends/drivers family. He was known by most of the RTO offices and police station in Tamil Nadu, Karnataka Mysore and Kerala.  Whenever his truck would go for loading to different states nobody dared to check his trucks and Lorries.  And whenever his trucks would go for loading sugar from a sugar plant there was no waiting.  His trucks/lorries got high priority and were always on top first.  He got a big sugar contract, million tons of sugar contract btw 3 states Tamil Nadu, Karnataka and Kerala.  He successfully finished his contract. He was such a brilliant guy that at any time in his sleep or alcoholic time, if people would ask about any transaction for sugar and lorry business, he would give full details of the accounts with decimals without using calculator.

He would always help my mom when he was not drunk. Whenever he was drunk it used to be very big mess at home, he broke many cell phones, TV, house doors, Computers and gave lots of trouble to my mom. We were shocked and couldn’t believe that my brother became heavy alcoholic. There were so many reason for him to become heavy alcoholic starting from personal/family issues, business losses at times, his good friends/few-drivers cheated him on many things like money/copied his business ideas, many ppl used him, took advantage of him and so on. We had so much hope on him that he would quit alcohol for sure at some point. He tried many times to quit drinking alcohol but he couldn’t and he lost himself with alcohol.

Vetri never had a second thought, whatever he used to think and it has to be done immediately that was there from childhood, my parents thought he might change after grown but he never changed. Since he didn't have second thought, he was always got into a trouble many times. 

He got engaged in 2009.  We were very happy but a month before the marriage they both called it off.  It was a mutual break. It was very sad for my mom and everyone. 

Whenever he was alcoholic he used to say only one word that he is 'Lord Narayamurthy' other than that nothing he say. When he say he is 'Lord Narayamurthy' his friends/drivers and people around him would run away, they don't stay with him they knew he is going to make a big mess there.

Once in 2011, Vetri quit drinking alcohol for about 3 to 6 months.  When he had quit alcohol, he was looking amazing guy and handsome. He planted many rose plants at home.  He maintained the garden/farm house, he bought new trucks, and grew his business.

But unfortunately he went back to alcohol after 6 months.

On Jul-19-2012, When we heard my brother was in the hospital, my stomach got upset and I vomited many times on my way home back. We saw him in the hospital.  He was restless, talking to himself and walking with full conscious.  We took him to Ramakrishna Hospital.  He was fully conscious and talking with everyone.  He was looking alright.  We didn’t know what happened to him inside ICU but definetly people were not alert inside ICU for sure.  After an hour, they said he had heart attack and he went hypoxic after that.  He was in very dangerous stage at that time.  I was very scared to see him inside ICU and I always wanted my mom to go with me.  After 2 to 3 days, he was responding to heavy pinches, but he didn’t respond to our voices.  He was almost 20 days inside ICU.  Everyday Mom and I had so much hope that he would regain consciousness.  I used to stand outside ICU from morning till night and had little hope this time he would regain consciousness.

We moved him to isolated ICU, he was removed from ventilator and he was supported with oxygen starting from 15 litres.  He was there around 15 days inside Isolated ICU.  I stayed with him all the time.  I talked to him all the time.  I started playing his favorite songs with headphones.  I started doing a little physical exercise.  He started responding to my voice, lifting his head a little. He did not respond to others.  When I called him, he made some slight facial movements and head movements.

We moved him to an individual room.  We were with him all the time.  I started talking with him more and more.  He was responding more and more to my voice.  He was improving but it was very slow improvement.  He started breathing by himself without external oxygen support.  They closed the tracheostomy. My Mom and I were very happy for his improvement.

He started responding a little bit.  If I asked him to close and open eyes when I put eye drops, he was opening and closing eyes.  I was doing lots of physiotherapy exercises every 2 hours.  He got used to me very much. He started to taste from tongue.  We removed the Ryles tube and placed a peg tube for longer term. Knowingly/Unknowingly many times staffs and doctors made minor/major mistakes at Ramakrishna Hospital for my brother; I have spotted their mistakes then and there itself. I was panic/restless and got irritated most of the times at Hospital.

We started making him to sit in a chair.  He was eating a little semi-solid food.  He always thought I am his mother.  He was responding to my voice, he registered in his memory only my voice and my commands.  He was close to my mom but not as close as he was with me.  He was showing his anger on my mom.  Whenever she was talking to him, he turned his head other side.  But we knew he loved my mom so much and she loved him as much as anyone else.

We moved him to an apartment, close to Hospital at Coimbatore. He was improving slowly and much better.  His sitting hours increased.  Mom and I gave him a bath everyday and dressed him up very well.  I used to cut his hair and shave his face.  He was looking amazingly cute. Mom and I kissed him every now and then, hugged him and made him sleep on our lap.  He was feeling so much better, comfortable with us.  We had unconditional love for him and he loved us so much.  We took care of him so much I can bet no one would have done to anyone.  I was watching him almost 24 hours a day on close observation.

He was improving day by day, but his bed sore was not healing. We moved him to our hometown.  He had a very high fever because of bed sore.  We treated him at home.  The bed sore took more than a month to heal.  I used to play with him and talk to him more.  He was listening to me and I could see his smile, happiness on his face.

He was not talking, standing or walking. We made him sit in a chair for longer times. Since I had spent all my savings money and we needed money for my brother’s further treatment, I got my visa stamping done, and could go back to work.  Checked on how he was with my mom for couple of days.  He was doing good.   Mom could handle him alone for couple of days.

He loved me so much and wanted me to be with him all the time, play with him and talk to him but very unfortunately, we had no money and I had to go back to work.  I thought I would come back to US first, then later will bring brother and mom here together for any further treatment. He came with mom to drop me at the airport.  It was 1hr 30mins drive to airport.   I just can’t forget the memory.  He was sliding on my shoulder, I was holding his hand, doing a little pampering.  He was sleeping very happily and comfortably on my shoulder.  Once we reached the airport, I gave him kisses and told him to listen to Mom, be a nice guy.  I was having mixed feelings and very emotional to leave him.

After I have reached to US, talked to mom on phone and she used to keep phone on my brother’s ear and say ‘Bhu’ is on phone. He would make some sound, can’t understand and I would always think he was calling my name Bhu. Very sad his speech wasn’t there, after 3 weeks later mom said brother has fever. I was so panic sitting in US couldn’t help my brother and my mom. I was reaching out all the staff people and doctor to talk with my mom, provide some help for my brother, he was okay so mom thought to take him to hospital next day early morning. He was sleeping on my mom’s lap all night, when I called I heard his last voice. He made some sound but I was not sure whether he was crying for pain or trying to tell me something. I was very sad and panic in the morning when I got back home in the evening  received a call from India that my brother passed away in his sleep on mom’s lap slowly, broken our heart many pieces, its very hard, can’t explain the emotions in words, there is no word and words are falling short to express.

They say there is a reason
They say that time will heal
But neither time nor reason
Will change the way we feel
For no one knows the heartache
That lies behind our smiles
No one knows how many times
We have broken down and cried
We want to tell you something
So there won’t be any doubt
You’re so special to think of
But so hard to be without.

No matter what
anybody says about
grief
and about time
healing all wounds,
the truth is, there
are certain sorrows
that never fade
away until the heart
stops beating and
the last breath is
taken.