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Words To You-My Baby Sister

February 6, 2012

The day seems like it was yesterday, when I came running up the stairs in pure excitement as I just heard Michelle say "mom is having the baby" The day I had so anxiously been waiting for had finally arrived. I would get to meet my new baby sister. I held you for the 1st time at the hospital only a couple hours after you were born. That was the moment the love and bond you and I shared had began. As time went on, the bond was like no other. and I was the one you looked up to and adored as you were growing up into a little girl. My shadow from dusk til dawn. You were so much fun and the so adorably cute. The hours i spent dressing you, fixing your hair, riding the 4wheeler, or just being together, was time that will forever be cherished. As you headed into your teenage years, you started becoming so beautiful, losing the childhood look, seems like you became a young lady over night. The thought of you growing up was scary for me, I wanted you to stay my baby sister forever. I had to let go, once I decided, you will always be my baby sister regardless of age. Having you become a mom at the age of 16 was scary for me, although I knew you were a natural born mother. You took care of Gavin for so long, and he also shared a bond with you. After you gave birth to Trevor, then Amber and then Alyssa, still finished high school, purchased a home and became a wonderful mother and wife. I was so proud of you sis, for everything you had accomplished as you had a little to work with. I moved to Tennesse to be a part of you and trevors life. Now looking back, it was the best descision I have ever made, based on how our lives have ended up. Not knowing then, but I would of missed out on the last years of your life, that Im so desperately hanging onto now. Then the day came, when all of our worlds changed in an instant. The day you told me you had cancer. We both stood in my kitchen holding eachother sobbing eachothers arms for which seemed like eterenty. As the next 7 months smothered up with sadness, pain and the heartache i felt watching you go through those horrible, horribe times of pain, treatments, and sadness. You truely inspired me, and made me the most proud sister anyone has ever had. the way you handled the 7 month battle of your cancer. How optimistic you stayed...even when I seen the sadness in you eyes. you still said u felt fine when asked. I made sure I stuck by you as much as i possiby could. and I was there to help you when you needed me the most. It broke my heart seeing the struggles you went through, all the pain, suffering, heartache, the stress, etc. I remember telling you one day, "Vick I wish I could just take it all away from you, i'd take it doubletime, if only it would free you. YOu looked at me and said"I love you to much, you don't want it. This is awful"the tears ran down my cheeks, thinking to myself,you have no idea how much I love you. I was so excited that friday when you were released from your 3week stay at Centennial in Nashville, when you called and said come get me, i couldn't get there fast enough. i wanted to take you home. When I arrived at the hospital, it was the first time you looked at me with sad eyes, and said you were unable to get dressed by your self. even though my heart sank, without hesitation, i grabbed your clothes and got you dressed. the ride home was painful for you, and as excited i was to finally get you home, i wish that day i knew it was the last week you were going to be with us. you rode in a vehicle for the last time with me. the next week was heartbreaking as i helped you numerous times to reposition your legs, since you had lost use of them. 9 days from the day I brought you home, the worst day of life occured. that sunday morning with only shawn and I with you,the lord called you home. a part of me went with you that day. a void instantly filled my heart. there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think about you. and have lots of days where my tears flow in loss of you presence. I hope to someday know for sure you are ok and cancer free. i will never forget the times weve shared. or how much i love you. i miss you more than words can explain.

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