Violet Chen Tet Liam, (1935 - 2016) - ForeverMissed.com Online Memorials

Violet's memory will live with us and in our hearts forevermore until we meet again on the other side. We love you mom <3

81 years old
Born on March 18, 1935 in Bangka Island, Indonesia
Passed away on October 7, 2016 in London, Shooters Hill, United Kingdom

In Loving Memory

This memorial website was created in memory of our beloved mother, Violet Chen Tet Liam, 81, born on March 18, 1935 and transitioned too soon, into her new life in Heaven on Friday 7th October 7, 2016.

Those that knew her, loved her dearly and we will remember her forevermore, until our paths cross again on the other side.

Violet loved to pose and take photographs, as you can tell by her gallery; and a lot of her younger photos were taken professionally. She was very photogenic and was very beautiful up until her last moments on this earth, posing beautifully with grace and style, which brought a smile to her daughters faces. Mom would have been proud to go that way.

We hope she is proud of her beautiful photograph album which she was very possessive of as it was her treasured possession! Please do enjoy her photo gallery and videos in celebration of her life on earth. Now that her photos are digital, they will last through to her next generations with relatives. Please feel free to add any photos you have with her.

Pls feel free to light a candle, share any photos or videos you have of Violet and any stories to celebrate her life.

For those that are stuck for words, it is ok to just leave your condolences for the family just to leave your mark that you've visited.

Mom's cremation will take place on

Date: Monday 17th October 2016
Time: 9.45am
Venue: Eltham Crematorium.

Mom's ashes will be kept with her daughter Chrissie. Any family members who may wish to have any ashes to glass jewellery made from Violet's ashes, or for any other personal reasons, pls kindly contact Chrissie and/or arrange directly with Ashes to Glass (use the link above). They will deliver overseas.

The cremation will be broadcast live to friends and family http://wesleymedia.co.uk.

Prior to the webcast it is advisable to a test run for Microsoft Silverlight on Internet Explorer. Pls kindly get in touch with me re the username and password details. The webcast is not viewable on ipads, ipods, tablets or Google. Only on a laptop / computer on Internet Explorer that has access to Microsoft Silverlight.

Susan and Chrissie
October 2016

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March 18

Missing you mom, as always. You would have been 89 today, which is still fairly young. Ah Thwee is in her 90s. I wish you would have looked after your health better than you did which may have helped you love longer. There are so many things I wish would have happened differently.

I wish I had had enough money to convert my garage into a home for you but sadly I didn't.. Possibly for the best as I think you may not have had any benefits if you stayed with me which gave you your independence.

I miss you and hope you are happy where you are ️

Happy 89th birthday and happy 8th re birthday in heaven.

Xxx

October 7, 2023

Hi mom, it has been 7 years today since you left us. I don't like thinking about this day as when I found you, your hands were still warm; which means that if I had found you sooner, I could have perhaps saved you from passing.

But you also did not ever want to be in the condition you were in and had said that you'd rather take your life than need looking after.

From your perspective, you most likely would have been happy to finally have found a way out of your body into the next life, which you said you were not scared of.

I just felt I never really got to say goodbye; though you did have a good night the night before with the carers and you were very happy with them and making your happy noises.

I had so many plans for you. One of the carers was going to take you on regular trips to Bluewater but sadly you never were able to go on those trips. I was working so couldn't take you out regularly.

I hope you're having a good time in heaven with your mom and dad, plus brothers and sister(s); as well as all my cats, pets and Bobby.

TIll we meet again, much love to you mom xxx

March 19, 2023

Happy birthday mummy… hope you are happy doing your make up and hair… You would look beautiful even if your hair was all white. . Miss you and Chris and myself will be with you soon…we love you so much…

March 19, 2023

Happy 87th birthday mom , hope you are celebrating in heaven . Love always, Miss you lots xx

March 22, 2020

Happy 85th birthday mom for the 18th March 2020 and Happy Mother's Day today . You left too soon.

You never wanted a fuss either on your birthday or Mother's Day. I wonder how you are doing where you are and wish I could pick up the phone to check in with you and how you are doing. Sure yes, I can talk to you in my head but that is not quite the same.

Energy obviously changes when a body does and the soul remains. That is another deep subject.

Big love and hugs always
I love you xxx

October 8, 2019

Loving and missing you mom, as evermore. Three years have passed and it feels so much longer with yiur absence. I sense you around me a lot at home especially this year with butterflies that are constantly in my garden ie the same one day in and day out for weeks on wnd . I know it is you . Thinking of you and hoping you are happy where you are xxx

October 8, 2019

It's been 3 years and I'm still missing you deeply. I'll miss you forever till we meet again. Wonder what you are doing but I hope you are happy and watching over us... Till we meet again mummy... Love you forever...

October 7, 2018

Two years today since you left us mom. Your memory lives on strong. You were a remarkable memorable woman in spite of your quirks and you have left a huge hole behind by many who miss you and your presence. You touched a lot of people especially towards the last few years of your life when you mellowed and allowed people into your heart. Love always mom xxx

March 18, 2018

Thinking of you on your birthday mom; and sending you lots of love and hugs. WIsh you were here as always in person to celebrate though hope you're having a ball in heaven <3 xoxo Love always

October 6, 2017

It has been a numbing year since you transitioned over mom It's been hard to adjust to life without your presence and energy. I miss you every day and think of you all the time. To be able to just be with you again in the same room, to feel your energy and presence would be priceless.

I asked you to show me a sign(s) that you're still around me recently which you did with white feathers in the garden and a butterfly flying around me :-). Thx! You did it again a few days later when I asked you to repeat it! That was lovely especially when I felt your energy around me for a while after you crossed over,, in the house; and the dogs kept staring at something that wasn't there or that I couldn't see, for days.

We've had our ups and downs throughout life as mother and daughter but in the end, love was all there is and what we take with us when we leave; and I hope you know that you take with you a lot of love from people who love and miss you. You're one special lady mom and you certainly made your mark in life. I know you kept saying you weren't scared of dying; though I guess you never figured the kind of impact and emptiness you'd leave behind with your absence from this world.

I hope you're happy on the other side; doing whatever it is that spirits do over there! I know you're watching down on us and your energy is around us and I'll keep on with our conversations and connection. You're in my heart forevermore and I love you dearly <3 xoxo

October 18, 2016

Dear Grandma,

Thank you for being there for us always. I miss you reading bedtime stories while combing my hair. I miss watching you cook for us. I miss the comforting smell of your perfume. I miss seeing you leave the house to walk to the supermarket to buy groceries for us to eat. I miss you always asking me to help fill your lottery tickets as though the numbers I gave were the grand winning numbers. Every time you come to Singapore im always so excited and every time you leave my heart aches because I don't know when I will see you again. You were my best grandma and I wish you were here with me again reading me stories and cooking food and caring for me and giving us gummy bears you buy back from London.

I miss you lots.

Love,
Serene
Grand daughter

October 18, 2016

Oct 7, 2016 was the day my grandma passed away and entered our Lord's realm. We may be on different continents of the world, but I still vividly remember the good old times we spent together whenever she visited.

Not only was she an awesome cook, she was also feisty! There were moments where she nearly drove us crazy with her stubborn nature; if she didn't get what she want, you can imagine the sneaky means she would resort to, like that one time she sneaked out to go shopping and didn't bother to inform anyone. She didn't even use the cellphone she had on her to contact us, and we almost called the police to report a missing woman.

Of course the more vivid memories I had of her were her wild fashion choices...who wouldn't love to have a grandma who wore dark red lipstick, kept red long nails like Morticia Addams, and go out adorned with gold jewellery?

I'm gonna miss that feisty old girl, including her ikan tenggiri goreng (Malaysian-style fried mackerel).

As sad as we all are about her passing, we know that she is no longer suffering and is now with our Lord in heaven. We shall love and miss her always."

From Wendy Juan
Violet’s grand daughter

October 15, 2016

when i 1st knew u n my mom was from the same indonesian island of pulau bangka from i was thrilled n even more thrilled n excited when susan told me u n chrissie were coming to singapore.

when i met 1st u i felt comfortable talking to u in our native language of bahasa indonesia. i felt close to u as u kept calling me by my name despite having some speech difficulty then. i loved spending time with u then. tho u couldn't express yourself that much could see in your eyes u were happy. i wished i could've spent more time with u n getting to know u even more.

sad that u left us n i know u are in a better place. maybe even talking to my mom now :P

i love u, mama n will miss u terribly...

October 14, 2016

We love you mom!

October 14, 2016

My dearest Aunty Jiat Lian....

It is with regret that I was not able to get to know you better. My memories of you are vague as I was still young when you left for London.

But I remember you coming over to my place and chatting with my mom, your sister, in the kitchen. You always had long red painted finger and toe nails. They always caught my attention..... we are girls after all. Your hair seemed full and was always tied up. You were the one and only hippy Aunty to me!

You seemed very demure. You always smiled and nodded your head when I acknowledged you. We did not talk much then. But of all my aunts and uncles, you were the only one who could converse in English. It was easier to express ourselves.... it's a pity we did not have a chance to get to know each other better. I'd probably be complaining to you about mom's naggings and scoldings.... looking for a listening ear.

It would be great to have you in Singapore where you could spend time with my mom, growing old together. I can imagine the bond and meeting during festives and birthdays for dinner gatherings.

I could not understand why you had left for London. You must have thought you were having a difficult time being a single mom to your children. But whatever the decision, whatever the outcome, I know deep down you had felt it was for the best of the children and it was your love for your children that decided it.

The last time I met you was a few years back when you came to Singapore. You were in a wheelchair, you could not speak, and you had bobbed haircut. You were smiling less - it's a far cry from the image I had when I was young. This time there were tears as we knew it may be the last time we'd be seeing each other. But I am happy we had a chance to meet then. We took photos, we had a family dinner gathering.... a thing which was impossible after you left for London. I thank you for adding this to my memory.

Today is your last day on Earth. This is not the end of the journey but a new beginning for you. Wherever you go, it will be a happy place with no more sufferings and pains. We know you will look out and bless us.... your children, siblings, grandchildren, nephew, nieces and all....

Till we meet again, rest in peace Aunty.

Your niece, Irene

October 14, 2016

Our heartfelt condolence to you my dear Chrissie & Susan frm the David & Millar family frm Spore!

I knew Aunty Violet when I was just a wee girl of about 8 or 9 yrs of age when she moved into our kampung hence my vivid memory of her would be that of a single but very hardworking mum whom loved her daughters fiercely & tho I never spoke to her on a one to one basis, as a young girl, I already knew she was a strong character of a woman which at that time sort of intimidated me but then again it was rough times & poverty was the major culprit & it tends to keep families to oneself!

Through the passing of years our contact sort of diminished but i would dare say that there must have been a special spark coz about 3 yrs ago, Chrissie brought mum to spore which at that point she was stricken wif dementia, as Chrissie wheeled mum into my home, I was very aware abt da situation of dementia stage she was in, she was quiet but fully aware of her new surroundings but I doubted that she knew whom we were ( my elder sis & my youngest bro, along wif my sons plus I've not seen her over the span of 30 plus years, as evening unfolded, I hugged her at one point & I whispered gently in her ears...."Jesus loves u & just let it ...

...that she remembered me at all Nor my siblings,at one point, I recall just giving her a big cuddle & whispering softly & gently that our Heavenly Father loves her & before I can even stand upright coz Aunty was in her wheelchair, she wif a voice like all of a sudden remembered my blurted my name ..."Helen"!!!

It was a very humbling moment for me, that spark which I mentioned earlier....well that was it, the re-connection point, her eyes sparked, just for that split second & for me, I felt a very special favor, thots of a special fondness wif love coming frm her to me, to my siblings, she was in a very happy mood coz for just that split second, she saw the Clout family, David family & even the Millar family, all merging together, Susan & Christine, Rosalind, Joseph & me, perhaps just for a flash in her wonderful peaceful mind,we were children back in our small kampung!!!

Chrissie & Susan, as I bid ur mum farewell, I also stand here wif my fair share of respect to Aunty, it wasn't easy fete for her at all especially in the 1960s....we shall meet again Aunty & one of my Favourite bibilical quote to gently send you off your continuing journey my dear Aunty Violet...

Isaih 46:4..." I am he, I am he who will sustain you and I will carry you, I will sustain you and I will rescue you".

October 14, 2016

My tribute to Christine's mum Violet.

To Susan & Chrissie

Our heartfelt condolences to both of you for the loss of your mum Violet.
Truly a woman of substance.

Her strength & courage in the face of adversity are what I admired in silence.

She cared & loved both of you dearly but without expressing it as she was a woman of few words. I was given the privelege to look out for you both when she works but you were both too young to understand that but that's her love.

Now you have grown & her journey on earth is done, she goes to her final resting place.

Rest In Peace Dear Violet
We will miss you.
Love from Roy, Rosalind & Fly

October 14, 2016

I did not have the good fortune to know aunty that well as she always seem to distance herself from us but from my memories as a child, she seemed to be a strong willed and strict individual and l'm sure that must have shaped Chrissie's character to this day.

I only wished we could have spend more time with her before she went to overseas. We will miss you, especially my mum. Rest in peace aunty. "...
Your nephew, Stephen

October 14, 2016

Remembered my lovely auntie
From Yenny Lie

Knowing that i have auntie where stay in London it's suprised me..i never know before that my dad has sister which stay far away from Indonesia.

So far i thought daddy just has sister in Singapore...and i'm wrong...

The first met auntie when she has back to Indonesia with her's daugter Chrissie ..dont know after how long autie never back to Indonesia.she stay in our house and we sight seing together.

Auntie cant not speak Indonesia again ,her language already awkward, she just can speak chinese( khe) and english. My englisht too not really good

The second times again we met again when auntie violet and chrissie come to Jakarta and we are going together to Bangka (auntie's hometown)

Since we have meet, auntie always sent christmas card every year especially when christmas eve i think maybe she can not use email so she always use by post..for me its speciall attention from her..it's impressing..

When i heard from chrissie that auntie can not walk and talk...its make me sad, if London like Singapore near with Indonesia i want come to visit her. Since that auntie never sent me chrismast card but i always ask her by chrissie.

The third times finally we met again in Singapore 2013...thanks God , i not make wrong decision when Chrissie invite me to meet up. straight i fly to singapore..
Not talk too much with auntie coz her ill..i not really understand what she said..we just keep in touch hand and hold hand.

Last week Chrissie give me know that auntie pass away...so shock me

Auntie violet i know now u have a good place in Father's home,no pain again..
Rest in peace auntie... u always in my mind

I believe u will meet my daddy( my dad passed away in dec 2012)

Our memory always has in my mind..

Thank u God for what happens..i believe God is good all the time...HE make good plan and good time for auntie Violet.

Yenny Lie

October 14, 2016

In *Memory Of Violet* ... From Lynn Ernest
You never said your leaving You some how said good bye That Sunday we took you out you opened your eyes and look about You were gone before we knew it And only God knows why. In life you were dearly loved In death we loved you still. It broke out hearts to lose you The day God took you home. Good bye sweet lady God bless Know you are at restxx

October 14, 2016

This is Brýåñ grandma... "I love you. Bobby also. "

October 14, 2016

"We miss you deeply & forever will you be in our hearts...!"

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March 18

October 7, 2023

March 19, 2023

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Gallery

Violet's daughter Chrissie aged 2 (scared of her father)

Violet with Ah Thwee, Susan and Patricia in Singapore

Violet under a tree in Greenwich Park aged approx 54

Violet in the flower garden at Greenwich Park - aged 54

Violet with daughters Sue and Chrissie aged 1 and 4

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Love her hands and nails!

October 18, 2016

Mom had beautiful elegant hands and fingernails, which most of us remember as always being painted and long.

Her hands were always warm to the touch and in the last few years of her life, she grew very touchy feely, always touching the faces of those who visited her in her flat, even the gas man(!) and holding on to them and not letting them go; crying if they said goodbye! It was endearing to watch her get so attached to those looking after her.

I was glad to be one of those who looked after her towards the end as I did not like how she was treated for the two years she stayed in the nursing home. I tried my hardest to make her life there happy but constantly fought with the nursing home management which kept changing and promises were not kept. We all know what nursing homes are like and I do not appreciate being invalidated and told that mom was in a good place and well looked after as she was not. She was not happy there. She looked a mess and ten years older than she was, haggard and unhappy and was constantly falling out of her wheelchair or chair and cutting her head open etc, amongst other things.

She always looked unhappy when I went to visit her and I grew to hate going to the nursing home as I did not like how they looked after it. It was a horrible reminder that as hard as I tried to ensure mom was being looked after well, the management would make promises, do as Sue and I asked for a few days and then would forget, and revert back to old routines. It never lasted. There were too many staff, lack of handovers; same happened in the hospital - poor service and lack of handover notes and no one cared.

Scared of father

October 18, 2016

Each time I ask mom why I'm crying in this photo, her response is that I was afraid of my father and that I would burst into tears and cry each time I saw him.

Love to see her smile

October 18, 2016

it is an absolute delight and treasured memory for me to see her smile as towards the last year or so prior to her transition, Violet could no longer smile using facial muscles.

Nonetheless you could tell she was happy as she'd smile with her voice (by humming when she was happy with her food and/or company) and with her eyes.

This photo was taken approx 2012 when she was still living on her own in her studio flat in London. She was very strong and we tried to keep her at home for as long as possible as she was very independent and wanted to remain that way. She accepted carers visiting 3 times a day to help her; until the time came when she fell too much while living alone; and had to move into sheltered housing in April 2013, aged 78.

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