When you were fighting the cancer I kept thinking we could beat this , yet you knew I guess that you were not going to make right after being DX cause that first Christmas you gave me a necklace with an Angel on it with two children..I did not get it till after you passed ..because you told our son the nex year that you would probably not be here for Christmas in 2011 and you told him what to get me for Christmas that year..and you were right you left us before Christmas..yet you told our son to get my wedding rings and engrave them ..with the words " I will love you always" Well my wedding rings were to thin for that so our son got me an Angel and had that engraved with what you wanted said..well guess what I will love you always to my dear husband..You always thought that you were not romantic ..but guess what you were..always know that !!

this is my favorite of you!! You loved your football!!

The day I met you I had just turned 19 and was at a keg party that you got brought to. You were up from Mass to NH to paint a museum. I remember seeing you as you walked in and wondering who you were. You were really cute...then you came over to where I was sitting on a car and talking to me, you got my telephone number ..did not know it had to do with a bet with the other guys on who could get the most telephone numbers..we saw each other that whole week you were there and then you asked me to move to Mass..and I said yes..after only knowing you a week..You were to pick me up three weeks later. Personally did not know if you were going to show up but you did.. three months later I got pregnant with our first son Robert..you were so happy and I was so scared..but you changes jobs to make a better life for us and then two years later we had our second son John..again you were happy.My parents loved you, matter of fact you always got more for your birthday then I did!! LOL..You were a hard worker and the only thing that mattered was us, no one else mattered to you.I know that now.You were always looking out for us and taking care of us.
We survived 31 years together through alot of good and bad times..but we always came back to each other..we had a bond and a love that could not be broken and never will. Today on the anniversary of your death..I love you more then anything and miss you even more!!   <3 kisses to heaven babe!! Till the day you come to get me !! i LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS!!!!!1

with your job you got to travel around the country..you loved it yet didn't. I know you wanted to be home but the sights that you got to see..so lucky!

this was my mothers day present from you and the boys..had to love how I have three different teams!!

Forth of July has come and gone, another first. Yes I thought of you,..like  I always do..I remembered during our first winter in our home that you and John went out in the middle of the road and lit a bunch of fireworks and boy did you two run when you saw a car coming!! What was even funnier is that the fireworks went off right as the car was going by. I was so afraid that we were going to get in trouble that I turned the lights off in the house!! When it came to fireworks you and John were always setting them off..me I hid.You loved your fireworks!!! Kisses to Heaven!

I cried again last night ,cause you were not there to watch the Daytona 500 with me ...but that is ok, cause I fell asleep.But on a good note your driver started the year out right he won and my driver came in second. I know you would have been rubbing that in to me ..but thats ok. I find I get emotional with the firsts..I really dont like those firsts as I am finding out . To think we are almost in the 3rd month of the year and alot of my firsts are coming up with more holidays and birthdays and anniversry and your passing on the same day.
I am starting to get use to the loneliness....even though are son is up the road..he rarely stops over..he has gone on..our youngest  I talk to him at least twice a week..I guess it shows life goes on for most. .I am trying I have my good days and my bad days. ..yet the evenings is still the hardest.. I miss you..I truely due. Being by myself is awful !! I hope you are here some where be side me...I love you always and forever as I would say!

Wayne was DX with cancer on Jan 18 ,we were told it was not curable but could be maintain. Wayne went thru chemo and radiation for the next 5 months ..had a scan and it looked real good, so we celebrated by going to the Talladega race in Oct...I am so glad we did cause when you had your next scan the cancer was growing fast.You started more chemo and it still was not working. I had so much hope that you could fight the cancer , but it just kept growing rapidly.

We tried not to talk about the cancer yet it was hard when I was watching you dissappear in front of me. You lost so much weight, I know you were trying to tell me that your were dying, I just didn't want to believe it. I am so glad our last words to each other was that I love you  and you kiss my hand! I will never forget. By the way CANCER SUCKS!!!!!!