I cannot believe it is 20 years.  How the years have past so swiftly by.  Never a day has gone by where I have not thought about you.
Your baby years are gone.  Your childhood years are gone.  Your teen years are gone.  What are we left with?  A young man.  
I often try and picture what you look like now.  When you were born, you looked so much like Clive.  He is a handsome young man.  He has many problems, but he works so hard to try and fit in, no one really knows, or understands how hard he tries.  The unseen disabilities, if someone looks 'normal', then they must be normal, whatever that is.
Clive can drive a car now, something that they said he would never do.  He loves driving, I hate it!  Earlier to day, Clive and I were talking.  He was telling me all about the things you and he would do to gether, if you had lived.  Taking you out in the car to places was his favourite.  He had you playing rugby with him, all sorts of things.  It makes me sad to think that all those things will never happen.
Then of course, there are Lara and Alysha.  I don't know what is going to happen with Lara,. she is in a bad place.  At least she is here most of the time now, when she is here, I know she is safe.  When she is away, all sorts of things happen, that she can't control, the unseen disabilities again.  I think she will hit rock bottom, then and only then, will she get the help she should have had years ago.  All I can do is wait and hope.
Alysha, she has so many things do deal with also.  God knows what will happen over the next 12 months.  Again, all I can do is wait and hope.  I have given up on prayer.
Anyway, this is your Birthday.  I just thought I would tell you about your family.  We would have talked about things if you were here.
I can't believe 20 years have gone by.  How do you celebrate your Birthday?
This year Uncle Nicky is with you.  It could be a triple celebration.  Uncle Nicky's and Auntie Junitta's Birthday is the 24th Aug.  This will have been the first Birthday they will have had to gether for a while, Auntie Junitta died a few years ago.  I suppose with them being twins, it is more specical.  I still feel very sad about Uncle Nicky, such a good man.
Of course, our little furry creatures have joined you as well.  Bonnie, Jake, Holly and Roxy.  I love animals.  We still have some animals left, but their deaths are so sad.  One does not replace another.  I still wish I had not had to make that choice with Bonnie and Jake, even though I know it was the right thing for them, they could not have stayed like they were.  I hope they are with you.  Little Roxy only went on the 23rd. 
At the moment, the weather is warm and sunny (just like the day you were born).  They say it could rain later.  I don't mind.  I like the changing weather patterns and the seasons.  My favourite is the autumn, all those beautiful colours.
I hope you like what I have put in your cabinate for your Birthday and what about the little cherub Lara bought for me to wear in memory of you?  My neck is now full of necklaces.  I never used wear them.  But now I have the locket with your photo's in, I call it Wesley's locket.  The 'Special Mum' locket Clive bought me for Mother's Day, with photo's of all four, Clive, you, Lara and Alysha in and now the cherub.  What a shame my neck is all scrawny and old (only messing about)!  They are all so lovely.  I never take them off.
I will close now.
HAVE A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING SON.  I really do wish you were here, but you can't be.  So be ever so Happy.  I'll see you one day, then I will know what you look like and I can hold you again.
All my love forever, Mum OXOXOXOXOX. 

Good morning Wesley. How are you to day?

I have found another message, which Alysha wrote for you. Both this one and the other one were written quite a while ago. This one was written shortly after she became ill. It shows that even though she was feeling very unwell, she was still thinking about you: " Even though you're gone and passed, The time has gone so fast. I never met or saw you in my life, but I love you and wish you were here, I would sacrifice. You're my brother and I can't wait to meet. I wish I could see what you looked like, but save me a seat :-). I hope you like where you are Wesley, maybe you will meet Elvis Presley :-).

I will come to your grave, I promise I will, as soon as I stop feeling so very ill. I will bring flowers and everything.

See you on the other side Wesley :-). Love, your little sister Alysha :-). P.S. Tell everyone I said Hi. Wish you were here :-(.  Can't wait till I meet you. You are in a better place. I love you. I miss you <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 ,3".

I hope you like what your little sister wrote, as I say, she wrote them a long time ago. I have put them in your cabinet. Be happy. All my love Mum. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Hello Wes.

I found this, which is something Alysha wrote for you and I thought I would add it on here:    " A brother, is the love I cannot cover, I think about you every day and night, but I know your spirit and soul are shinning bright. Even though we never met, doesn't mean I don't love you. We will meet one day. I just wish we all had time together. I love you with all my heart big bro. See you one day."

 Your little sister does try so hard, she has had so much to deal with.  We all think of you, every day.  You know you are always in my heart. Love you now and always, your old Mum. xxxxxxxxxxxx