I cannot believe it is 20 years.  How the years have past so swiftly by.  Never a day has gone by where I have not thought about you.
Your baby years are gone.  Your childhood years are gone.  Your teen years are gone.  What are we left with?  A young man.  
I often try and picture what you look like now.  When you were born, you looked so much like Clive.  He is a handsome young man.  He has many problems, but he works so hard to try and fit in, no one really knows, or understands how hard he tries.  The unseen disabilities, if someone looks 'normal', then they must be normal, whatever that is.
Clive can drive a car now, something that they said he would never do.  He loves driving, I hate it!  Earlier to day, Clive and I were talking.  He was telling me all about the things you and he would do to gether, if you had lived.  Taking you out in the car to places was his favourite.  He had you playing rugby with him, all sorts of things.  It makes me sad to think that all those things will never happen.
Then of course, there are Lara and Alysha.  I don't know what is going to happen with Lara,. she is in a bad place.  At least she is here most of the time now, when she is here, I know she is safe.  When she is away, all sorts of things happen, that she can't control, the unseen disabilities again.  I think she will hit rock bottom, then and only then, will she get the help she should have had years ago.  All I can do is wait and hope.
Alysha, she has so many things do deal with also.  God knows what will happen over the next 12 months.  Again, all I can do is wait and hope.  I have given up on prayer.
Anyway, this is your Birthday.  I just thought I would tell you about your family.  We would have talked about things if you were here.
I can't believe 20 years have gone by.  How do you celebrate your Birthday?
This year Uncle Nicky is with you.  It could be a triple celebration.  Uncle Nicky's and Auntie Junitta's Birthday is the 24th Aug.  This will have been the first Birthday they will have had to gether for a while, Auntie Junitta died a few years ago.  I suppose with them being twins, it is more specical.  I still feel very sad about Uncle Nicky, such a good man.
Of course, our little furry creatures have joined you as well.  Bonnie, Jake, Holly and Roxy.  I love animals.  We still have some animals left, but their deaths are so sad.  One does not replace another.  I still wish I had not had to make that choice with Bonnie and Jake, even though I know it was the right thing for them, they could not have stayed like they were.  I hope they are with you.  Little Roxy only went on the 23rd. 
At the moment, the weather is warm and sunny (just like the day you were born).  They say it could rain later.  I don't mind.  I like the changing weather patterns and the seasons.  My favourite is the autumn, all those beautiful colours.
I hope you like what I have put in your cabinate for your Birthday and what about the little cherub Lara bought for me to wear in memory of you?  My neck is now full of necklaces.  I never used wear them.  But now I have the locket with your photo's in, I call it Wesley's locket.  The 'Special Mum' locket Clive bought me for Mother's Day, with photo's of all four, Clive, you, Lara and Alysha in and now the cherub.  What a shame my neck is all scrawny and old (only messing about)!  They are all so lovely.  I never take them off.
I will close now.
HAVE A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING SON.  I really do wish you were here, but you can't be.  So be ever so Happy.  I'll see you one day, then I will know what you look like and I can hold you again.
All my love forever, Mum OXOXOXOXOX. 

Good morning Wesley. How are you to day?

I have found another message, which Alysha wrote for you. Both this one and the other one were written quite a while ago. This one was written shortly after she became ill. It shows that even though she was feeling very unwell, she was still thinking about you: " Even though you're gone and passed, The time has gone so fast. I never met or saw you in my life, but I love you and wish you were here, I would sacrifice. You're my brother and I can't wait to meet. I wish I could see what you looked like, but save me a seat :-). I hope you like where you are Wesley, maybe you will meet Elvis Presley :-).

I will come to your grave, I promise I will, as soon as I stop feeling so very ill. I will bring flowers and everything.

See you on the other side Wesley :-). Love, your little sister Alysha :-). P.S. Tell everyone I said Hi. Wish you were here :-(.  Can't wait till I meet you. You are in a better place. I love you. I miss you <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 ,3".

I hope you like what your little sister wrote, as I say, she wrote them a long time ago. I have put them in your cabinet. Be happy. All my love Mum. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx 

Hello Wes.

I found this, which is something Alysha wrote for you and I thought I would add it on here:    " A brother, is the love I cannot cover, I think about you every day and night, but I know your spirit and soul are shinning bright. Even though we never met, doesn't mean I don't love you. We will meet one day. I just wish we all had time together. I love you with all my heart big bro. See you one day."

 Your little sister does try so hard, she has had so much to deal with.  We all think of you, every day.  You know you are always in my heart. Love you now and always, your old Mum. xxxxxxxxxxxx

 There is not too much I can write about your life, my little lad. Like so many children, your life was over before it had chance to begin.

I remember finding out you were on the way. I  already had an idea, I was getting awful sickness and the heartburn was more like a fire. Just like it had been with your brother.

You were a strong little boy. When I was two months into your pregnancy, I showed signs of miscarriage, just as I did with your brother and later, I did the same with your two sisters. I must have a thing about being two months pregnant. A week after than glitch, your Dad (who was and still is a security driver), was delivering money to a bank in Southampton. Two men were waiting, with guns. There was a fight and your Dad was shot. He was off work for most of your pregnancy. I remember the doctor checking me and saying "The baby is fine. I wouldn't worry about miscarriage anymore, this baby is meant to be here." Those words have come back to me many times over the years.

My bump grew bigger. You were so active. You never stopped moving. Your kicks kept me awake at night. I remember your mid-term scan. You would not keep still. The sonographer had to keep moving the thing around on my tummy, to keep up with you. The scan took longer than it should have. She said you were either camera shy, or a show off!

I remember, I could not drink tea when I was pregnant with you. I like tea, but you didn't. It used to make me so sick. You did like quavers and ice cream, with a banana mixed with it. I could not stop eating them. Also this chocolate, with 100's and 1000's on it. It is the type of sweet a child would eat, very sickly, horrible stuff. I could not stop with those either.

Then came the time for you to be born. I still don't know what happened. I said I was in labour, the hospital said I wasn't. You showed them I was and your life was soon over. I remember so many things. Your dark coloured slightly almond shaped eyes, just like your brother's. Your head had a long back to it, just like your brother's. You had the Warne nose. Your fingers are shaped just like mine. You have my mouth. Your wavy hair. The things a Mother notices.

When you were born,  a Mummy was not expected to morn for her child so young. We were supposed to forget we had been pregnant. As if we could. The staff at the hospital threw you over their arm like a rag doll. Chatted and laughed with each other , no one spoke to me. For them it was just another day, another dead one. I was lucky to get a few photo's. There was no respect for children like you. A few years after you were born, the news came out, that they had taken organs from thousands of babies and young children, for experimental purposes, without the parents knowledge. Like many Mother's, I made phone calls. I found out, they had taken your brain. They could not take your spirit though. That will always be here.

Here is to you my little lad. Be happy. We will meet again. All my love forever, Mummy. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Wesley. You know how much you mean to me. Before I write a story about you, I must thank two very special people.

SSBJ, what can I say? Thank you is just not enough. You have known so much heartache, yet you do so much good for others, to make them feel better. I wish there was something I could do for you. I feel I am taking you for granted. Please know you have touched my heart in ways you could never imagine.

Cindy. You have had to deal with so much in life. You have a kind caring heart. I wish there was something I could do to help you, but I am so far away. Your kindness has also touched my heart in ways you will never know.

God Bless both of you. I send you my love and of course I know a special young man sends his love to you both. LOVE TO YOU BOTH FOREVER, ANNAMARIE.OXOXOXOXOXOXOX 

 Precious Wesley...how you have captured my heart since I first met your mum and you. When the incident on the other site happened I just could not accept the affront to you, thus this lovely memorial page in your honor. These pages are totally yours and your mummy's, and forever. Someone who does not even know you cannot on a whim swipe away all your pictures and decimate your beautiful memorial. You are safe and protected here, and your mummy and your friends and your family can always have a place that is yours to come and visit you.

With very much love in your honor and your memory, Baby Wesley ~

Sue (SSBJ)

I know you already know this sweetheart, however, I must tell you how much sunshine your Wonderful Mum brought to my life, Such an incredible and amazing strong and ever so loving Woman, your mum would come to visit everyone elses loved one's her beautiful heart came to visit my Charlie one day and your Mum's beautiful messages touched me deeply, I knew how special this Mate was from the moment we started writing to eachother and we would speak of you sweet Baby Boy, and I could feel your Mum's broken heart her pain, what I never told your mum was that I lost a baby Boy named Ryan, When I was 7 months pregnant I never got over losing my baby however, I never got his body noone cared but Me and I still cry for him he would be 16 now, I had a mean husband after my Charlie died, He was happy that Ryan was no more, I never talk about Ryan what I must say is I wish I would of atleast had a picture of him, I am so happy for your loving mum for having your beautiful pictures, I know you play with my Ryan in heaven and one day your Mum and Ryan's Mum will be with you both to be with you forever in heaven, your Mum is so special to me I was so happy to know that there was actually good people in the world I had given up on kind and loving people I met so many mean people for so long, your Mum brought me hope and Faith again in people so me and your Mum finally made your memorial and so many people have good hearts over there we found SSBJ, Liberty, Robert, Cheryl, oh so many loving and good people, but, baby boy there's always some bad apples in the world I didn't think it would be on our blessed site, but, that's earth for you, and God will Judge us all one day for how we treat our fellow humans, and I know so many good people who are going to heaven for sure everyone I listed and We will all be together and meet in beautiful Heaven and be reunited with our angels who are with you now, Your Mum is my mate forever, and I will always stay in touch with your Mum sweet Baby Boy give Ryan a hug and a kiss for me "thank you Sweet Angel"  All My Love forever for you and your incredible Mummy" I love you, your Forever Friend, Cindy McPhee xoxoxoxooxoxo bye for now Love