January 2011 

Wilbur Hugo Wengren

 “Happy are those whose hearts are pure, for they shall see God.”
~ Matthew 5:8 

I once heard that the true character of a man can be seen in how he treats his mother, how he is with little children, and how slow he is to anger. Dad is a good man, a man to be emulated. Mother Teresa said, “If you judge people, you have no time to love them.” I don’t recall Dad ever saying an unkind word about anyone. He has the patience of Job! Dad is truly a devoted father, family man and Christian. We are blessed with him as a role model for our lives.

Dad was born January 04, 1921 in Kenosha, Wisconsin, to his father, Gustav (Gus) Hugo Wengren (Swedish) and mother, Natalie (Mattner) Wengren (German). Dad was named Wilbur after Woodrow Wilbur Wilson. He was president when Dad was born. Dad is a third cousin of Charles Lindbergh. Charles Lindbergh was Dad’s paternal Grandmother’s cousin. Gus’ parents immigrated to Illinois when Gus was a child. Gus later moved to Kenosha, Wisconsin, to look for work. He worked for Simmons. Dad’s mother died from tuberculosis when he was 5 years old. Dad was taken to live with his paternal grandmother, Lena, from the age of 5 to 10 years old.

I asked Dad who he was closest to after the death of his mother. He said it was his Aunt Elsie, his mother’s sister. Natalie had two sisters, Elsie and Ida. Gus had a brother named, George Wengren and a sister named, Marcia Edwards (her married name).

I was moved to tears when Dad shared with me that when he was about 6 or 7 years old he walked alone to a church on the corner from his grandmother’s house and across the street from Lincoln Park to attend a church service. He was handed a pamphlet with a picture of Jesus on the cover. While listening to the minister he was told that if you have Jesus in your life you are never alone. Dad hurried home from church with the pamphlet in hand. He went directly to his bedroom and with a flashlight and the pamphlet he got under the covers in bed and while looking at the picture of Jesus and believing that Jesus was with him under the covers he prayed and asked Jesus to come live in his heart. Tears welled up in Dad’s eyes as he was telling me this and we both cried in each others arms moved by the moment and drawn ever closer in our relationship.

Dad took violin lessons while living with his grandmother. He was 8 years old. As far as I know that was the start of his love of playing musical instruments. He went on to play the accordion and taught himself to play the keyboard and the harmonica when he was 12 years old. Dad continued to play musical instruments until close to 90 years young.

When Dad was 10 years old he moved in with his dad in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Gus remarried when Dad was 13 years old. Sophie and Dad did not get along well. Dad said she wasn’t a kind woman. Dad left home at 14 years of age after graduating from Grade School because he didn’t like Sophie, yet he credits her for encouraging him to attend North Western College to become a minister. After completing a year of schooling there Dad quit and went to work at 15 years of age for a farmer, helping work in an all-year greenhouse tending flowers, planting, and tending soil, field corn, tomatoes and other chores for room and board and $20.00 a month. The farmer’s wife had a small accordion. Dad found a music teacher and rode his bike carrying the accordion across his knee to lessons. When Dad was 16 years of age, Gus and Sophie had a daughter. They named her Nancy.Tragically at the age of five years old while riding her tricycle, Nancy was struck by a car and killed. Dad worked for the farmer until he was 18 years old and then went to work with his father in a machine shop. A tool and dye shop. While working with his dad he lived in a rooming house in Milwaukee.

After working a while at the tool and dye shop Dad decided to drive out west. He was driving a Dodge Senior and gas was 18 cents a gallon. He commented that the Japanese had bombed Pearl Harbor. Dad drove to Denver and stayed a while at a machine shop job then left for California. Dad said he had wanderlust!  He worked for an aircraft place working on machines then went north to San Francisco for an Enterprise Engine job. He was deferred from the draft because of his job. But, Dad decided that joining the Marine Corps would be a great way to meet girls! ;-) So he decided to miss work so that he could be drafted! He was 22 years old, it was 1943. Dad served in the Marine Corps for two years. He was a Corporal. Dad drove a tank and was a radioman and assistant gunner.

Dad had two close calls as a radioman and assistant gunner in Guam. Dad got out of the tank to check something on the tank and was getting back inside the tank where two other men were and was shot at. Another time while in Guam, Dad’s tank was approaching shore when it struck something and started to sink. Dad and the other guys were close enough to shore that they made it safely to shore. Dad thinks the tank may still be where it sank.

Dad returned to Milwaukee for a short time after the service and then headed back to San Francisco and worked in a lumber yard. Wanderlust struck him again in 1948 and he decided to move to Seattle! Dad lived in the University district in Seattle. While living in the University district and looking for a job Dad met Richard, who belonged to the Tryout Theater. Richard wrote plays. Along with Richard, Dad acted in minor roles. Dad told me that he always wanted to be a comedian! As if we couldn’t guess THAT! Through Richard, Dad met Dick (“Slover”) and Russ. The four were lifetime friends. Dad was having difficulty finding employment in the University district. A guy told Dad to go down to the Teamsters Union and Dad was able to get a job working for Safeway in the bakery department. He wrapped bread in wax paper the machines did the work. Dad lived in an apartment for rent (someone’s house) across the street from Safeway. He worked at Safeway for a year and then worked at a French bakery, but not for long though, he said. Dad went to Langendorf Bakery wrapping bread until his retirement at 65 years of age. Dad lived in an apartment when he first started working at Langendorf and until he met Mama!

It was 1962 when Dad met Mama at King’s Tavern. Mama and some girlfriends had finished canning preserves and the girlfriends decided to go to the tavern. Mama didn’t like taverns, Dad said, but she went along with her friends anyway. At that time Dad was living in another apartment up the street from Safeway. Dad started dating Mama from the time he met her. She was living in Georgetown. Dad bought a house in Burien that had a shed in the back. He moved into the shed and let Mama and we children live in the house. Dad later removed the shed and built an apartment there.

Dad and Mama were married in November 1963 in Coeur d’ Alene, Idaho by a Justice of the Peace. It never failed to amaze me or move me that Dad being a bachelor most of his life fell in love with Mama and married her with her seven children! (I remember relating this to a resident and friend of Dad’s at Stafford Healthcare where Dad is living now, and the friend, Arnie, upon hearing this said that Dad deserved a Purple Heart!) Those of us living at home at the time decorated the house and made a tiered wedding cake for Dad and Mama. It was so much FUN! What wonderful memories!

By marrying Mama, Dad had an established family consisting of three boys and four girls: William Earl Fisher (Billy) age 19, Nancy Marie Fisher age 17, Kandy Lea Fisher (me) age 16, Mary Anne Fisher age 15, James Scott Fisher (Jimmy) age 14, Daniel Joseph Stewart (Dan) age 7 and Ramona Christina Stewart (Chrissy or Chris) age 5. I always thought that Dad must have REALLY loved Mama to marry her with all of us children, but then I later wondered if it had anything to do with his childhood of being an only child for years and not having a mother as we didn’t have a father (Mama and Dad, Roman divorced when I was 7 years old). This is strictly my own thoughts. I marvelled at this man taking on such an awesome responsibility of a ready-made family! What kind of man would do that?

The following years of steadfast love and devotion to Mama and us revealed the purest, kindest, selfless, stable, trustworthy, soft-spoken, quiet, generous, Christian gentle lamb of a man anyone could possibly ever know! I once read that any man can father a child but it takes a real man to be a dad! I will be eternally grateful for having Dad as my hero and role model for life!

Dad was a kaleidoscope of multi-faceted personality traits and gifts. We loved the fact that he made us laugh and laugh often! He was always acting up or telling jokes! Remember, he always wanted to be a comedian! He was quite the inventor, too! It never failed to amaze us how he came up with myriad ways of creating things. We all remember the many uses Dad had for clothes pins!  He sometimes invented things before others got a patent on them! Amazing!

Dad’s musical talent had increased from playing the violin and accordion to include the keyboard and harmonica which he taught himself to play. Mama played the piano by ear and we thoroughly enjoyed listening to them play music together and singing along with them. When Dad retired he volunteered to play music and have people sing along at various retirement homes, nursing homes, and hospital respite facilities. I told Dad he touched many people’s lives with his music ministry! I have fond memories of joining Dad on some of those occasions.

I am especially grateful for Dad trying to stump Mary Anne and I with words and how to correctly spell them. It led me to have a love of words, their meaning, spelling, pronunciation and the caution to always remember that we can never take back the spoken word!

Dad and Mama were quite compatible. They both enjoyed the family, and visiting relatives and friends. They liked watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy on television together. They drove around the neighbourhood in pursuit of garage sales. Dad bought a camper truck and they enjoyed traveling.

When Dad’s father died at the age of 78 years old in his favourite chair watching television and from a massive heart attack, Dad gave up smoking and drinking and started eating a healthier diet, a diet lower in saturated fat and fewer sweets.

Dad and Mama thoroughly enjoyed their family! They were exceptional grandparents and great grandparents! Dad and Mama always remembered special occasions with cards and gifts for all of the family. We never doubted their love, ever!

Dad and Mama would have family reunions in their large back yard sometimes when my husband Tom and I and our two sons would be home for a visit. I remember Dad volunteering to drive to Seattle to pick up our biological father, Roman so that he could be at the reunion, too. Dad would later drive Dad Roman back home even though Dad was tired. Dad was a remarkable man! I remember when Dad Roman died our older brother Billy commented to Dad that he had to find a suit for Dad Roman to be buried in before his funeral. Dad didn’t hesitate to say he was going home for a moment and would be right back and for Billy to wait for him. Dad returned with his best suit for Dad Roman. It moved me to tears.

Dad treated Mama like a princess. He loved her very much. Mama was diagnosed with lung cancer in 1992. She was given 3 ½ -months to live. After talking with my family I asked Dad if I could fly home to help him with Mama’s care (I live in St. Albert, Alberta, Canada). She was able to live at home with her illness almost the whole time with the exception of a week in the hospital before she died (she had slipped from the commode trying to get back into bed while Dad was with her and she fell to the floor). The doctor was called because we had difficulty getting her back into bed. The doctor felt she may have injured her back because of her condition and wanted her taken to the hospital. I am extremely grateful to Dad to let me be there with him and Mama during her illness. When she died, part of me died with her. Mama died March 18, 1992. She didn’t want to die alone so that never happened. She was surrounded by family and our love the moment she took her last breath. She was afraid of the dark and died during the daytime. Spring was her favorite season. She was four months short of her 65th birthday.

I thank God that we children had Dad’s support during the loss of family members. Our older sister, Nancy died six-months before our mother. Our biological father, Roman died two years after Mama. Our eldest brother, Billy died in 2007. In his quiet gentle manner Dad helped us through the grieving. We love him dearly!

September 09, 2008, Dad was carrying groceries from his car to his condo when he lost his balance and fell. A neighbour saw him fall and had her son call 911. Dad was taken to the hospital and had surgery for a compound fracture of his right arm (the worst the surgeon had seen in 30-years of practice). Dad was hospitalized for 2-weeks. The first week he was in the I.C.U., because of his arm and complications with his health. Dad has Congestive Heart Failure and COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease). While Dad was in the hospital the family took turns being with him, some visiting and some staying around the clock, sometimes we had mini-family reunions (family from far away in Washington and family from Oregon). I flew down from Alberta, Canada, to be with Dad and the family at this time for 2-weeks and stayed at Dad’s condo. I remained another week when Dad was discharged from the hospital and moved to Canterbury House. He lived there while having physical and occupational therapy for about 8-weeks. On November 3, 2008 Dad required another operation on his arm because a screw near his elbow worked loose (1-week in the hospital). It was replaced with a metal plate. Dad’s rehabilitation period started anew from November for about 8-weeks. When Dad was stronger he moved in with our younger sister, Chrissy and her husband, Ken and son, Justin, to rehabilitate. Dad was with them for almost a year. Then because of his health, Dad is now a two-man assist and is living at Stafford Healthcare in Des Moines, Washington.

Dad has carried on Mama’s legacy of love and devotion for the family. He continues to acknowledge special occasions with beautiful cards and gifts, to lend a listening ear when we call or visit, to share Christian strength and love at all times and in his unassuming selfless way continues to love us unconditionally making each one of us feel valued and loved. By us, I mean his 5 surviving children, 18 grandchildren and 22 great grandchildren.

We are all so thankful and grateful to be blessed with such a loving, caring, thoughtful, kind, generous, beautiful person in our father, grandfather and great grandfather. Thank you, Dad, for the wonderful man that you are and for loving us as you do. We love you, always and forever, your children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.

Written with utmost love by daughter, Kandy

Epilogue:  

Dad was hospitalized from Stafford Healthcare on January 24, 2013. He had been failing quickly from end-stage Congestive Heart Failure and Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease resulting in frequent bouts of pneumonia, and aspirating food into his lungs while eating meals. A feeding tube was being considered to help avoid aspirating food. Dad was adamant that he did not want a feeding tube. We honoured his wishes. Dad knew that our brothers, Jimmy and Dan were driving from Oregon on January 26th to be with him and the family; he also knew that I was flying from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, on January 27th to be with him and the family, too.

At Valley Medical Center in Kent, Washington, Dad was surrounded by family during this last hospitalization. We were thankful that prayers were being answered that those of us from out of state and out of country were able to see Dad one last time, and for all of us to be able to surround Dad with utmost love and admiration while we were with him. Some of the family had spent the night outside Dad’s room to be near Dad. The night before Dad died, family members, Ken, Chrissy, Mary Anne, me (Kandy), Jimmy, Dan, Tracie (from Georgia) and Anne were at the hospital. Jimmy, Dan and Gella had to return to Oregon early the next morning because of family and illness. Ken, Chrissy, Mary Anne, myself, Tracie and Anne spent the night at the hospital. Dad was discharged the following afternoon to go back to Stafford Healthcare after being monitored with a regimen of medications for pain and ease of breathing. He was returned to the first floor because of a virus on the third floor.

I was waiting at Stafford Healthcare when Dad was returned from the hospital by ambulance on January 28th in the early afternoon. The Staff from the first floor who hadn’t seen Dad since he was moved to the third floor for the remainder of his stay at Stafford were absolutely delighted to see him. They called his name, hugged him and said how wonderful it was to see him. He had a royal welcome back to Stafford Healthcare, his home away from home.

I will always cherish the time I had with Dad his last day at Stafford Healthcare. I was staying at Sea Tac Valu Inn right behind Stafford Healthcare. I decided to spend the night in Dad’s room instead of returning to the motel. I was able to tell him over and over how much we all loved him and valued him. That he was our hero. I put my head on his shoulder as he slept and held his hand. I kissed his forehead and stroked his face many times. All of us had told Dad that we would take care of each other and try to see each other as often as we could and that we would always love each other just as he and Mama loved us and took care of us. I told him that we loved him enough to let him go. We didn’t want him to suffer. All of us had been encouraging Dad to go and be with the Lord, Mama, his beloved mother, his father, our brother, Billy and sister, Nancy and all of his loved ones who had gone on before him. I told him that we would all be reunited again one day and that when it was our turn he would be there in Heaven welcoming us home.

Dad’s breathing was slowing down. The Staff were repositioning Dad at intervals to make sure he was comfortable. I was reassuring him how much we all loved him and would miss him yet we knew he would soon be in God’s Heavenly Kingdom. It was some time after dinner when Ken and Tracie came to see Dad. Tracie was going to spend the night in Dad’s room, too. We were visiting briefly when all of a sudden Dad slightly opened his eyes and turned his face in our direction. I was sitting on the bed with Dad with my hand on his leg. When we saw Dad’s eyes opened, I said, “Hi Dad!” I patted his leg and looked at Ken and Tracie in front of me. Ken stepped gently forward and said, “I don’t think Pop is breathing.” We turned to Dad and saw him looking calm as if he had just gone to sleep. He hadn’t made a sound. He just quietly, peacefully slipped away. It was 7:28 p.m. Our gentle lamb of a father, grandfather, great grandfather, great great grandfather and honourable Christian man transitioned to his home in Heaven and was received into God’s loving embrace.

Dad’s funeral service was held on February 05, 2013 at Bonney-Watson Washington Memorial Chapel at 1:00 p.m. Chaplain Sharon Y. Berry a wonderful caring woman from Stafford Healthcare where Dad resided was the officiant. The interment with Military Honours was absolutely beautiful! It was held at Washington Memorial Park Cemetery. Dad was royally treated as the hero of our lives. The reception was held at Washington Memorial Funeral Home. Dad's body was laid to rest beside Mama's body sharing a companion marker. It was a lovely funeral befitting and honouring a beautiful, humble, gentle and kind loving man, our Dad, Grandpa, Great Grandpa, Great Great Grandpa and HERO!