My Dear, sweet dad.  For 3 years... my heart broke more and more everyday... knowing that someday soon, I was to lose you.  From the day I found out you had stage four cancer, I didn't know I could possible hurt anymore than I do do today... now that you're gone.  My heart wanted so bad for you to make it through... and even though it was unrealistic... I still wanted to believe yolu would pull through.  I stood by your bedside on your last days, held your hand, wiped your tears, told you everything I had in my heart to say... and for that I am grateful.  My entire life I adjusted to telling you "goodbye" but it was always a see you later... goodbye for now... never like this.. never goodbye forever. You were always a call away. I wish I could just press rewind... jump in your lap like a 5 year old little girl, press pause forever and tell you "I know!! Let's talk forever!!!!!!!!" like we used to tell eachother.  I miss you so so so much and even though I knew this day would come... I still can't grip the fact I will never see you again. I love you Dad. I wish I could tell you everything is ok, but it's not... I am truly broken and hurting more than I ever thought possible.