Second birthday of yours without you here to celebrate with. This holiday season was much tougher than the first. Shock is a massive, comforting buffer...and then reality sets in. Missing you and Mom so much. xoxo

The first anniversary of your departure is upon us. We miss you so and will honor you today and always. xoxo

Happy Birthday Dad! Love and miss you so much. xoxo

I WISH THE MOMENT HAD NOT COME

TO SAY GOODBYE TO TWO NOT ONE

  WITH TWICE THE SADNESS

AND SURPRISING PAIN

THE FLOODS OF TEARS

ALL SHED IN VAIN

UNANSWERED PHONE CALLS

SLAY ME BRUTAL

ALTHOUGH I KNOW

TO DIAL IS FUTILE

AND IN YOUR HOUSE

TWO EMPTY BEDS

WHERE NEVER AGAIN

WILL YOU LAY YOUR HEADS

 WE FEAR FOR FEELINGS LEFT UNSPOKEN

AND EARLY GIFTS WILL NOT BE OPENED

YOUR QUIET GESTURES LARGE AND SMALL

ARE AMONG THE THINGS WE NOW RECALL

THOSE SMALL REMINDERS EVERY DAY

OF LITTLE THINGS YOU USED TO SAY

AND EVERY MIRROR’S SYMPATHY

REFLECTS YOUR FACES DEEP IN ME

A BOX OF PHOTOS

TELL THE STORIES

OF YOUR YOUTH

AND ALL YOUR GLORIES

OF HOW YOU ENDED

UP TOGETHER

AND ALL THE STORM CLOUDS

YOU HAVE WEATHERED

WITH ALL THESE YEARS

NOW PASSED BETWEEN US

OUR SLIGHT REGRETS

WILL NOT DEMEAN US

WE LIVE WITH LOVE

AND ECHOED LAUGHTER

FOR SILLY THINGS

AND NOTHING AFTER

AS MEMORIES RUSH

AND NOSTALGIA FLASHES

YOUR HISTORIES FILL

TWO URNS WITH ASHES

WE ARE SO UNSURE

OF WHAT WE’RE THINKING

EXCEPT THIS CONSTANT

FEEL OF SINKING

ACCORDING TO OUR PARENT’S WAYS

AHEAD OF US ARE BRIGHTER DAYS

WE’LL LAUGH AGAIN AND SMILE AND SING

AS ALL OF US MOVE PAST THIS THING

NOW, NOT TO END THIS POEM IN GLOOM

OR LEAVE YOUR SPIRITS SEVERED

EVEN WHEN OUR SMILES DO BLOOM

WE’LL MISS THEM BOTH, FOREVER

Church 

Anything Barbecued

Valentines Day

Zombies (inside joke)

Japan

Sounds of Jets flying overhead 

Shirley Temples (the drink)

Tony the tiger fake tails

Old ford station wagons

Chocolate cream pies                                          

Country music

His math tutoring (which by the way never worked)

Turtles

Sunday drives

Dairy Queen

Dunkin Donuts

Dance Contests doing "the Twist"

Marshmallow Peeps

Hotel rooms

3 Musketeers Candy Bars

Corn Huskers Lotion

Cherry Vanilla Ice Cream

Billowing Japanese Draperies

Wms. Lectric Shave

Chocolate Cream Pie

The Boston Red Sox

Chimichangas

PEEPS!

Poodles

Peanut Butter

"Pull My Finger"

Steak

Old Spice Original Scent

All things Post Office

My Prostate...

Lucky Wishbone Fried Chicken (and Shrimp)

The word "Third"

Billowing Japanese Draperies

My Sister and Brother

Thinking Of My Mom

I have just returned from quite an intense 25 hours with my family. My Dad had his wife, children, son in law, several grandchildren (and spouses as applicable), two great-grandchildren, my Brother's best friend forever, ex-wife, and new love (all 3 members of our family), around him this weekend, along with delightful and caring hospice caretakers and well-wishers sending messages via the email he refused to learn to use, for the official (and in my case, final) goodbye.  Kind of a multi-generational Big Chill it was (though only the oldest among us knew that reference - rent it on DVD or BluRay), with everything but crying in the shower happening - I am planning that for after I scrub my tub and replace my tired old loofah (insert your own suggestive joke here) . We ate (...and ate and ate) and shared tales of old, to raucous laughter (2 hours of intermittent sleep makes everything funnier). I'm surprised he didn't pass just to get away from the noise. I flew home tonight wearing my Dad's beloved Boston Red Sox team ball cap, his aftershave, and my heart on my sleeve.
The end is imminent, and I hope he passes soon. Such a strong and loving man deserves to have to struggle only briefly at his end. I am grateful for the support of family and friends and humbled by the concern and care of folks previously unknown to me, who loved my Father and will miss him in the same lasting way that I will. For example,  the old guy neighbor who's eyes filled with tears upon hearing about the developing situation. He was invited in to say goodbye and told us that my Dad was a real talker and always had an equal interest in sharing a story and a laugh with a friend, or a stranger. Then he reiterated lovingly, "man, your Dad can talk and talk and talk", and even added the hand signal for chatty (I reckon the old man has passed down a trait or two..).  And the mail carrier, who over the last week had missed seeing Dad waiting each day for a friendly conversation at the community mailbox. She came by the house and apologized for being nosey, but was concerned that something might be wrong, as even in this slight activity Dad was so reliable. My family invited her in to express her fondness directly and tell him how he brightened her work day and how very much she would miss him.

Some of you know my Dad and even love him. Some of you haven't had the pleasure but have long heard the tales (possibly embellished or exaggerated by this story-teller) of his exploits. All of us should be reminded of what a decent man, what a caring provider for his family, what an honorable person, he is.

Now go and hug your family, or your pets, or your pharmacologist, or your favorite sex-worker. It really does make a difference to them.

Oh, and consider yourself hugged by me.

xoxo