April 22, 2022
April 22, 2022
Today is extremely tough. I’ve now lived longer without you since we got together in 1998. We were married for 11 before you passed away and now it’s been 12 years since you were here. I know I’m not the only one that it’s hard for. I know Carla has a difficult time because you didn’t get to see her get her license, graduate, you won’t be here to walk her down the aisle when she gets that opportunity. Her kids won’t get to know you personally or you won’t get to love on them. I do PROMISE you, that you will NEVER be forgotten. As I sit here at your grave and I just so bad want to wrap my arms around you and be assured that I’m not sinking like I feel at times. You were so unlike most men. I remember you letting Carla paint your toenails and I think we went to the Mergys and you took your dress shoes off and of course you didn’t wear socks, so you we’re antagonized a little bit but your shoulders were broad enough and that didn’t stop you. I remember Kris and Holly trying with everything in them to get you to NOT wear the Velcro tennis shoes that you so loved. I will NEVER forget how great Earth Day 2010 was. I feel it’s a God thing that you were just taken from the Grenada and not hurt and didn’t suffer like Mary and Betty. God truly spared us all from that not that any death is easy to accept! I’m sitting her with my Indiana Wesleyan University Mom shirt on. I want to get something for your grave. The good thing is that it’s the same colors as Ohio State. I will NEVER stop loving or missing you or cherishing all of the great memories. You were a truly special man and a lot of men could take lessons from you. I know we had issues but we didn’t start with God as the center but had by the time Carla was born. I pray that she ALWAYS KNOWS that you were her 1st hero and I pray that she remembers things off and on for the rest of her life. I know that you are so proud of her just like we are! When she came out her on Easter, Holly called and came out to be with her. She’s almost finished her 1st year of college. I can’t believe we are 1/4th done with college. I’ve seen her grow so close to Hod this year and it absolutely warms my heart. Jim’s buried next to you now in my plot. I just felt led to do that for him to help them all out. It breaks my heart that most of your family hasn’t had anything to do with Carla since your passing. I tried as hard as I could but it just couldn’t be a 1 way street. I wish things were different but unfortunately they aren’t. It’s been great just sitting out here talking to you 12 years just about to the minute and not a day I ever want to relive. You always hold a special place in my heart and Carlas too. 11 years was sure NOT long enough. I wish that you were still here to watch Carla grow and love on her like you always did. Forever in our hearts and always just a thought away.