Hey Fissie I love and miss you with all my heart.You knew on your way to heaven that I loved you.While you were here you knew I loved you.I don't understand why it was so hard for you to adjust and grab on..I don't no it could of been me on drugs..That you never new because you never let me in..I am going to blame slot on mom..You no she always kept me away from everyone and tried to keep me from my kids.So by her acting like that,and not letting me come in or home,you had to follow her rule and listen to her talk and put me down as if I wasn't hers and as times went on with all that you treated me the same.I could understand that..But I always tried to come in your life,thinking when you moved out things between us would be different.The sisterly  love was so far gone in you,that you just stuck with it..I hate are mom and drugs came between are sisterly love..That's one think mom didn't teach us was to love unconditionally..I learn it from sister Yolanda.and family..I tried to hard to bring it home and share with you mom and the boys.I guess it was to late..I was the only one that was giving and no one accepted it,or even gave it.With me not being accepted by no one.there was nothing better then for me to stay on drugs and hang out with those on drugs..I didn't find love there either but it was better then letting myself go crazy and weak.wondering why..So that's why .I had nothing but that and I held on to it...then I would go home to Yolanda and family yes I got love 24/7 but it's not the same as getting it from my real mom and family so I would always leave there.I just wanted to be loved.specially you and mom..Why was I so disliked by you.Why couldn't you have been strong and let me in as your sister,not like an outsider.I loved you..I love you.more and more everyday..Don't think I don't no when your here with me..I so love you looking over me..Thank you..Thank you for the love you bring to me.I love you forever..wight to you soon..PLEASE WATCH OVER MY LOVE ONES..TELL THEM I LOVE AND MISS THEM WITH ALL MY HEART.