Hey grannie. Ive put aside actually putting anything on here for the past 3 years because it still hurts to know that I cant call you and hear you say how much you love me. Youre my best friend and to not have you here still feels unreal. So instead of writing how sad I am that your gone, I wanted to reminisce on our good times. Remember that time when I spent my entire summer break with you. I knew nothing about cooking but I just started taking cooking classes in highschool and I swore I knew how to throw down in the kitchen. I think I was about 15 at the time. You and I were hungry and you didnt want to order anymore pizza or chinese so you said you were gonna cook us some spaghetti and meatballs. Of course being as eager as I am, I volunteered to cook for you instead so you wouldnt have to get up and be on your feet to long. You still ended up getting out of bed and sitting in your apartment kitchen with me to make sure I didnt burn anything. You showed me how to prepare a pot of water for the spaghetti noodles and what ingredients to put into the meatballs. I knew nothing about using a "light" hand when seasoning and ended up making the meatballs too salty. I felt so bad and horrible that I ruined our dinner and was almost on the verge of tears because you kept saying that I used to much seasoning. But because of who you are, and because you saw how bad I felt, you told me to go into the kitchen and bring you some ketchup  you ended up acting as if I made to best meatballs ever and all they needed was a little ketchup. It didn't dawn on me until years later that you really didn't like them but you loved me so much that you would rather make me feel better about the situation than to let me stay feeling upset. Little things like that showed me how much you always loved me. I miss you more and  more everyday. I know you looking down on me and are proud of the things I am accomplishing. Thank you for your unconditional love. Rest in the sweetest peace. I love you. 

My sweet sis, one year without your being here to talk me to deaf has been like an eternity.  Missing you is still unbearable so I do best not to think too long or too hard. I know your in a deep sleep for now and I look forward to the day when we will see each other again! I smile now as I think of you cracking a joke about God letting you sleep too long til you got a crook in your neck.  You had that sarcastically crude sense of humor.  A year ago today I didn't see today.  I didn't see getting past the tears and the pain.  Knowing all too well of Our Father's Promise of The Resurrection, your not here today still hurts.  I dream of seeing you, Mom and Dad, Ryan, Tiny and and all the other family members we lost. Always loving you Evon, always.

I remember the day Queenesha was born and you were right there in the hospital room rubbing my head letting me know how proud you were of me. You looked at me like you wanted to cry. I could feel you like I felt you every moment since then. You always told me we had a special connection. You shared with the world your newly birthed love, Queenesha captured your heart from the begining. You were always the best grandmother a child could every have. All your grandchildren love you so much. Always and forever!

I remember when you gave birth to Kesha and how you would let me babysit her at my tender age of ten.  You always made me feel special. You were a true big sister, you looked out for all of us and made sure we knew how to prepare for our future.  Although I didn't, sis Im doing it now.  I dont want greed and anger to take place when I close my eyes.  Im sorry for any part I played in discracing your last day on earth. Please know my heart and that I had to be pushed into that direction.  One day maybe, just maybe we will heal and try to be a family again.  I personally don't see it at this time, but who knows. I know you and you wouldn't of wanted this.  I'll try to work on this. Love always, Bernice

I lost my big sister, my other best friend next to my mother.  I can't believe your gone sis.  We were just talking about the changes we were going to make in our lives for the better and now your gone.

As Kesha and I sit here in your apartment and try to plan your memorial service, it just seems so surreal.  I miss you so much already!  We talk almost everyday, if not at least every other day.  Who will listen to my stories at all times of the day or night now?

You were a second mom sis. You never judged me even at my lowest point.  I'm glad we always said "I love you sis" before hanging up the phone.  Why?  You were the matriarch of our family after mom left.  I keep listening to your answering machine just to hear your voice once more. 

Time heals all wounds sis, this will take too long.  I love you Evon and you will always be in my heart and mind.  I will see you again.