ForeverMissed



This memorial website was created by her mother, Shoshana Bradford, in memory of her dear, sweet funny daughter,  Zoe Trask, 15 years old, born on July 31, 2002, and taken too soon from us on June 15, 2018. We will remember her laughter and sweet smile forever ♥️♥️❤️❤️❤️

Please check out her gallery, audio, and video. Her voice was an angel's, and I miss talking to her everyday. The hole she has left in my life will never be filled til we meet again. My sweet sweet Zoe, Mommy loves you



Posted by Lisa Nadig on August 1, 2022
Happy Heavenly Birthday, Zoe. Sending much love to you, now and always.
Posted by Shoshana Bradford on July 31, 2022
Happy Birthday in heaven, my sweet Zoe. I remember every detail, down to watching "Legends of the Fall" with you the night you were born. We slept together that first night in the hosital, I held you gently in my arms, just as I held you much later every night, and just as I had inside me before you were born. I hold you in my heart now, and that is enough until I see you again. I love you Zoe Boe, Mom ❤
Posted by Bill Bradford on June 15, 2022
Dear Zoe,
It's hard to believe it's been four years. We've missed you like cray-cray but we will see you again once we are done here. I thought to ask you what heaven is like, but I realize I already know--it's being with you and your mother Suzie Clark B.

Hey, since you're an expert equestrienne, tell me how you like riding Kissy? Isnt't she sweet? Just like you when you want to be.

Send a light down every now and then. Your mother's so sad today and actually every day. Call her up for a talk when you can. We love you, now, always.
Posted by Shoshana Bradford on June 15, 2022
Zoe, it's been 4 years since we last talked, since I last heard your clear voice, since you taught me about astrology (Ethan's influence?) and since I learned about the show "Spirit Riding Free." Where have you been, where are you? You visited me again in my dreams last night, as you so often do. You made me laugh hard, again. You brought back the joy I would feel when I was with you. I took many pictures because I knew you were leaving the next day. I can't really do this life since you've been gone. I pray for your big brother and hope he is ok. One of our (Joe's) horses, Kissy, died last week. I picture you riding her, two spirits riding free. I love you baby. "Miss" is not a strong enough word to encompass the feeling of emptiness I have that only you can fill. Til we see each other again and crack each other up once more...
Love, mom
Posted by Bill Bradford on July 31, 2021
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                           i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

e.e. cummings

sing a song. it might be a while but it won't seem long. we think of you just twice--every night and every day. if only i could sing you one. come and visit whenever you want. we've left our hearts on for you, Zoe, my love and daughter.
Posted by Lisa Nadig on July 31, 2021
Happy Heavenly Birthday, Zoe! I hope you're having a great celebration, and that you know how much you are loved and missed.
Posted by Shoshana Bradford on July 31, 2021
Happy Birthday my sweet baby. I miss you so much. You were and are the purest soul, told it like it is, no bs, just truth. You had a way of bringing me into your imaginary world, even on the phone, especially on the phone. I like to picture you going on a safari with Esteban and seeing Simba, and all of his family, then returning on horseback to the palace and eating all of the sugary, fattening cupcakes you want, eating the frosting first. I love you girl. Always in my heart, til I see you again....
Posted by Shoshana Bradford on July 20, 2021
My Dear Zozo,

Mom is thinking of you today and everyday. You come to me most nights in my dreams, and I see you in the hummingbirds that visit me, and I see "your face in every flower your eyes in stars above⭐⭐⭐ it's just the thought of you, the very thought of you, my love"  

I yearn to hear your sweet voice give me the daily weather report ️, your contagious laughter, your "That's disgusting" routine.

I sent some of your jewelry in a silver heart-shaped box engraved "Best Friends" to Sarah. Her mom told me she loved it so much and wears your jewelry. I hope that was ok.

I miss hearing about your crush for Esteban, your "dreams while awake before you fall asleep" as you call them. I miss you asking about Gunny and telling me "Well, that's what dogs do, mom, geez!"

I miss you with such a deep, deep pain, a hole in my heart and soul. 

"Talk tomorrow," as you said each night.

Love, mom
Posted by Lisa Nadig on June 15, 2021
Thinking of Zoe today. Sending much love to her mother, and family that misses her so. ♥♥♥
Posted by Shoshana Bradford on December 25, 2020
❤️❤️Merry Christmas my Baby Girl ❤️❤️ You are loved beyond measure, missed beyond words, in our hearts always❤️❤️❤️ Forever, until we meet again... I know how much you loved emojis, so here are a few for today ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Posted by Bill Bradford on July 31, 2020
Happy Birthday, Zoe! I miss you. It's not fair. In thinking of all the things I would get you for your birthday if I could, it became clear that the best thing would be a day, and a week, a month and a year, years and more years. And the best that I can do right now is this song:

If I had words
To make a day for you
I sing you a morning golden and new
I would make this day
Last for all time
Give you a night
Deep in moonshine
If I had words
To make a day for you.

I love you now, always. 
Posted by Shoshana Bradford on July 31, 2020
My dearest sweet Zoe, today is your 18th birthday. I wish for you in heaven the same as I would wish for you on this earth: that you are beyond happy, that you have so many surrounding you whom you love and who love you and protect you, that you have Mr. Darcy with whom to play and snuggle, that Esteban is with you and you are making him soup because he has a slight cold and the rest of the kingdom have gone off to the ball. My lovely, beautiful girl, Happy Birthday! Til we meet again. Love, Mom
Posted by Bill Bradford on June 16, 2020
To my dear daughter Zoe, whom I loved before I met,

Thank you for the gifts of your courage and kindness and love, all of which are written about and celebrated in the abstract but which you gave in such pure and selfless measure.

Thank you for the flame of hope that burned then and burns now in your beautiful heart, and for your wisdom, far beyond your years, that lit the candles of understanding

Thank you for your innocent romanticism, and for your dogged determination to squeeze life and laughter out of the most painful and harrowing circumstances.

Thank you for never quitting, and for your steadfast grip on the truth and for speaking the truth, and for fighting the good fight for so long without complaint.

If only you had been able to abide longer with your mother and me. If only something more could have been done to keep your beautiful spirit here in this world. If only....but until then

May your life in the next world be full of all the comforts and peace you weren't blessed with in this.

May your home be filled with loved ones, and horses, and trains.

May the green grass stretch without end.

May you feel no pain.

May you want for nothing.

May you live in warm anticipation, as we do here who miss and mourn you, of our reunion when that season comes to pass.

May you keep a fire burning, in your heart and hearth, knowing that this is but an eyeblink, a brief interruption in our companionship, and that our circle will be mended.

May you shine on, Huckle, Zoe Bo Boe, Estlin, and carry us as we carried you, and look over us as we look up to you.

Love is too small of a word. There's no better one yet, so I'll have to make another. Until I do, I'll have to use love. 

I love you now, always.



Posted by Shoshana Bradford on June 15, 2020
Two years ago today you left this world, but not a day goes by that I don't miss the love and joy you brought into this world, simply by being you. You brought this joy to all of those whom you loved. Never, ever, not for one second, forgotten. It's so hard to live in a world without you. Love Mom
Posted by Lisa Nadig on June 15, 2020
Thinking of beautiful Zoe, her mother, brother, friends and family today. Sending so much love your way, today, and every day. 
Always in our hearts, Love never dies.♥♥♥

Somewhere Over The Rainbow, Judy Garland
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XulvnXo6BJk

Posted by Shoshana Bradford on December 31, 2019
Happy 2020 New Year in heaven my baby girl. Say “hello” from me to Phil, Papa, Grandma Blomberg, Grandpa Blomberg, Grandma Alice Blomberg, Grandma Reddel, Grandpa Reddel, Abby Kasuba, Uncle Ray, Aunt Shirley, Susan Witmer’s son, Aunt Kim, Audrey Krevits, Bobby Anderson, the little boy across the street on Tulip Lane, the freshman at Indiana University I found and covered with my coat after he jumped out a window of a frat house, my cousin who was hit by a car while on leave around Christmas Eve, Heidi McNair, whom Bill knew as well, my childhood dog,Ginger, my bird and cat both named Charlie after the character in Willy Wonka, our beautiful, sweet cat, Mr. Darcy, Nil, and for fun, all the musician’s you like, Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, and Shakespeare, and Langston Hughes,and Abigail Adams and her daughter, Susan, who’s death touched you so much when you read that book about John Adam’s wife.

I love and miss you so very much, and just know you have all kinds of friends and animals surrounding you, but mostly God’s loving embrace is surrounding and protecting you until we meet again. XoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoMom
Posted by Lisa Nadig on December 19, 2019
Sending Zoe a loving wish for a beautiful Christmas in heaven. And may you continue to shine as Shoshana's sweet angel. 
Posted by Lisa Nadig on August 1, 2019
Thinking of Shoshana Bradford, her son, husband and family on the anniversary of Zoe's birth. Sending much love to all of you, today and always. 
Posted by Paul Lencioni on April 27, 2019
Godspeed, Dear One.
Posted by C Lenc on April 26, 2019
Dear Zoe,
We love you, and we miss you. We know you are in heaven looking down on us. Your light forever shines on us all.
Love, Aunt Cindy and Family
Posted by Lynn Turner on April 26, 2019
Dear Zoe, You have a beautiful mother who's love surrounded you for the time you were on earth and now in the ethereal heaven. Your smile, your laughter and light were a joy. I know that you shine your love on your mother from the ethereal and watch over her and Bill. We miss you. Love, Lynn
Posted by Cynthia Lutz on April 25, 2019
Dear Shoshana,
I am sad to have never met Zoe, but joyful for the beauty of her spirit that lives on in the hearts of all who knew her. Thank you for sharing her beauty and love of life with me. The photos touched a special place in my heart and gave me a glimpse of the beautiful woman she was becoming. Thank you for inviting me to this precious site and trusting me to see the heart of a mother who stands strong and beautiful! I Am Honored!
The Bible says:
"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." Psalm 56:8 (NLT)
Posted by Lisa Nadig on April 25, 2019
Dear Shoshana, Thank you for sharing this beautiful site, and so many lovely memories of your beautiful Zoe. Your love for each other shines trough, and is very touching to me! I'm enjoying seeing these photos and learning more things about her! Thank you again! Your friend, Lisa Nadig

Leave a Tribute

 
Recent Tributes
Posted by Lisa Nadig on August 1, 2022
Happy Heavenly Birthday, Zoe. Sending much love to you, now and always.
Posted by Shoshana Bradford on July 31, 2022
Happy Birthday in heaven, my sweet Zoe. I remember every detail, down to watching "Legends of the Fall" with you the night you were born. We slept together that first night in the hosital, I held you gently in my arms, just as I held you much later every night, and just as I had inside me before you were born. I hold you in my heart now, and that is enough until I see you again. I love you Zoe Boe, Mom ❤
Posted by Bill Bradford on June 15, 2022
Dear Zoe,
It's hard to believe it's been four years. We've missed you like cray-cray but we will see you again once we are done here. I thought to ask you what heaven is like, but I realize I already know--it's being with you and your mother Suzie Clark B.

Hey, since you're an expert equestrienne, tell me how you like riding Kissy? Isnt't she sweet? Just like you when you want to be.

Send a light down every now and then. Your mother's so sad today and actually every day. Call her up for a talk when you can. We love you, now, always.
her Life

It's So Painful

I've been wanting to write about my beautiful daughter Zoe since I created this site, but I've found it so painful to do that I'm stuck for now. 

Writing about her means she's gone, and I haven't yet come to grips with this.  

Her 17th birthday is on July 31, and she'd been waiting over a year to see the live action "Lion King" film when she died.  It's now out, and I'm taking Bill, Duncan, and Katherine to see it.  

We will get a Lion King cake and 17 candles and celebrate Zoe: my soul, my DNA, the missing piece of my heart that will never be filled.





Recent stories

Things My Daughter Taught Me

Shared by Shoshana Bradford on June 15, 2021
In no particular order, these are things she would say:

I'm FINE!!!  

That's disgusting

Bloody eyeball
Oh my God, Dad and Ethan are fighting again!  
I'm not alone, I'm with June
I can wear as many necklaces at once as I like, right Mom?
You need to track it. Can you check the tracking?
Who times their kid with an egg timer when they're trying to eat?
I had Mac n cheese mixed with corn or soup (yuck)
Raw carrots, AGAIN!!! I hate them. 
At night I dream about Esteban, well not really dream because I'm still awake, but kind of a night wish before bed. We can both do that, ok mom?
They won't let me take the elevator in high school! The math teacher is so mean. 
I fell off the treadmill at school
I wanted to buy you a blue sparkly ring at Zales for Christmas when I went with my high school aide and some other kids to do Christmas shopping.  Do you think dad will lend me the money to buy it for you?
Mom, we studied nutria today! Yuck!!!
I want to tell you about Abigail Adams.
to be continued.......



The Day Zoe met her step-cousin, Carmela

Shared by Shoshana Bradford on November 19, 2019
Bill and I and Ethan and Zoe went to a reunion in a Chicago suburb for Bill’s sister and brother-in-law’s family. Zoe was ill but wanted to go. Ethan met his four step-cousins - Leo,who was his exact age, was born on the same day.  The girls, Carmela and Aurelia, were so sweet and helpful and tried to make Zoe and Ethan feel comfortable.  Rocco was a sweetheart little boy.  The photo below is what Carmela wrote on her instagram when she heard that Zoe had died.  

She got a few of the particulars incorrect (Zoe had kidney cancer and liver failure as a result of the radiation she had been given 9 years earlier - not stomach cancer)  but her tribute is beautiful and meant so,so much to me.  

Her Uncle, my husband,Bill, was later found to be a perfect match for a live liver transplant at Northwestern’s Lurie Children’s Hospital in Chicago.  The transplant is best done before the patient has gotten so ill it’s harder to recover.  Zoe was in poor health and suffering- but she was not high enough in terms of a PELD score (Pediatric end stage liver disease) to get a cadavaric liver.  

A live liver is something else, and if you find a match, you go for it, you don’t wait. Live liver donations account for only 5 percent of all liver transplants.  Over 20% of those waiting without a live donation die before a cadavaric liver is available.   There are way more people on the wait list for a liver than there are cadavaric livers, so if you find a live liver donor, it’s incredible.  Zoe had that opportunity, but she did not get Bill’s liver due to opposition from “family’ members who opposed it because it went against a narrative they were using during a custody modification.   

Instead, Zoe was patched up twice, and in the 5 years that passed became more and more ill. She died on June 15, 2018, just shy of her 16th birthday during a cadavaric liver transplant.  Her portal vein was just too cut up, worn and patched to salvage and reattach a new vein.  
 
This photo of an instagram message is from Zoe’s cousin who only got to meet her once, but it’s one of the most beautiful tributes, and I’m forever grateful for Carmela and her family, who have now become mine.  I’m so very lucky.

Bunny Planet

Shared by Bill Bradford on August 22, 2019
Lips bloody and cracked, holding fast to a bowl that collected the night's and morning's vomit because the doctors didn't know what to do (all it took was the elimination of one substance in her formula), head lolling about,  looking like she had just had enough but never once complaining.  Then she started hearing her stepfather (father really) reading the Very Special Book: The Bunny Planet.  Perked her up like rain drenching a brave wildflower that had been holding out in a desert just to prove it could survive despite the bad odds and all.  In a minute or a second, because time stood still, she was far beyond the moon and stars, twenty light years south of Mars, imagining the day that should have been, and could have been, if only everyone would have gotten put of her way and let her have the liver segment she and her donor wanted her to have.  She held onto that book like it was a wooden plank and she was a drowning  sailor   Squeezed the juice of the message right from the pages and drank it into her heart.  But for interference, Zoe would be with us here and now on this Earth, rather than on the Bunny Planet where now she lives, and thrives, and loves, and awaits our arrival on the joyful day we are reunited.  God bless you, brave, sweet girl.  You taught courage and genuine love--agape--and I thank God for the chance to know you, love you, and hold you.  See you when it's time, my daughter.