I miss you a lot brother.  There isn't a day that passes that I don't think of you.  There are so many things that remind me of you.  It'd be impossible to describe how different everyone's lives are without your fun, genuine personality around. For now, I'll post what I said at your memorial service.   Here goes:

Love.  If I could describe AY in one word it would be love.  Allan was many things, selfless, uplifting, hilarious, outgoing, messy, caring, vibrant and genuine.  Allan loved music, the outdoors, his friends and his family.  It’s a testament to his character to how many people are here today to pay their respects.  AY meant many things to many people.  He was a grandson, a son, a brother, an uncle and a friend.  Speaking from the friend’s point of view he was always there for you.  He was the go to guy for many situations.  Whether it was going to a concert, having a drink after work, going camping, seeing a movie, playing some XBOX or grabbing breakfast on a Sunday morning, AY would be there for you.  Many people’s lives are very different without him.  Even if you hadn’t seen AY for a year or two, maybe ten, he made such an impression on you that you are here today to remember him and mourn his loss.  He was the type of person that it’d still seem like you saw him last week.  You could always count on that big, cheesy grin.  One of the best things you can say about person is the impression they left on those around them. By that measure, AY left a legacy most of us could only hope to leave.

AY had some funny quirks: He’d leave his hat or jacket at your house, he was late more than he was on time, sometimes he’d forget his wallet, or a concert ticket.  He had a reluctance to let go of Jr High pranks and sometimes he talked your ear off, but that didn’t matter.  He was so endearing because of how great of a person he was and how big his heart was. 

I met AY in August of 1993.  It was my first year at Washington State University.  We bonded over a little know band from Eastern Washington named Small.  I knew he must be a great guy if he had heard about this music.  At the time, I had no idea how great of a guy he was.  Later on he never saw eye-to-eye with me on heavy metal, but not everyone’s perfect.  It was fate that AY and I crossed paths.  We spent the next 19.5 years as great friends.  We hung out, went to live music, snow shoed, goofed off, went camping, kayaked on Lake Union and just supported each other.  We talked about news events, went to Seahawks games, laughed and even argued.  Back in ’93, he was pretty chippy.  He had a favorite saying, “Learn to watch me win.”  He calmed down shortly after that, but it was all in good fun. 

In 1994 when Allan’s cancer surfaced the doctors gave him about 5 years to live.  Many people would collapse under that weight and become a shell of themselves.  Allan grew from it, he flourished.  I’m sure he was scared of the unknown at times, but he chose to overcome it.  After treatment he spent a summer following the Grateful Dead.  He then traveled throughout Europe.  He never moped around, never complained.  After school he lived in San Diego for a little while and then moved back to Seattle.  Over the next decade or so, he worked at a couple of hotel groups, mainly Wyndham Garden, working on contracts with schools and government agencies.  He then moved into a new foray, medical sales.  He took this new challenge head on and loved every minute of it.  He worked long, long hours and at the end of the day he’d still talk about work.  Most recently, Allan was not working.  I believe it ended up being a blessing in disguise.  He spent a tremendous amount of time with his family and friends.  He forged lasting relationships with his nieces and nephews, earning a unique nickname.  See Allan would tease them and call them Stinko.  Well, they flipped the moniker to him and Uncle Stinko was born.  Allan also spent a lot of time at his parents’ house.  He worked on various projects, painting or whatever they needed some help with.  Almost every Sunday night he would be there for dinner.  Allan loved his friends, but he loved his family even more.  If Allan would have been working such long hours as he had been in his last job, he wouldn’t have been able to spend all of that time with his family.

Thinking about the people I’ve met through AY, I realized something.  He chose to surround himself with great, positive people.  You could cross-mingle his different social circles and the people would all get along.   This just reinforces the fact that Allan was amazing.  When we were going through AYs things at his apartment we found a note given to him in college that he had kept.  It said, “AY, if I could give you one thing, it would be to see yourself as others see you.”  I’m not sure if AY ever gave himself the credit he deserved, but knowing that he kept that note, he did realize how truly great he was.

I emailed some of the friends AY made in college and asked that they send me some a couple of words that came to mind when thinking of AY.  I’d like to share some of those with you: genuine, friend to all, boisterous, caring, real, infectious smile, thoughtful, aware of others at all times, tenacious, selfless, vibrant, a truly great friend, a loving and caring goofball, super-kind, loyal, grounded, contagious energy and amazing.  See, that is just how AY was: caring, genuine & loving.  AY didn’t make an impression on people because he tried to do so, it happened because of how he treated others.  How he reached out to people.  He lifted you up.  He reinforced all the positive aspects in your life.  He made you feel better about yourself.  He thanked you. He congratulated you.  If someone was newer to our circle of friends, AY would go out of his way to make them feel at ease.  He would engage them, listen to them and make them feel wanted.  He could work a room without trying.  He was a safe harbor in a sea of people.  When AY learned of friends or family members of friends battling cancer, he reached out to them, supported them.

Allan couldn’t have been the person he was without such a strong, loving family.  His father Al, mother Ellie and Sisters Alisa and Allyson truly shaped who he was as a person.  Allan’s ideals, how he viewed life and how he treated others were instilled in him because of his upbringing. 

Even in Allan’s passing, he gives back to us.  This event has shaken so many people you can’t help to take a step back and analyze your own life.  Do you reach out to those you love and let them know?  Are you grateful for the things that are going correctly in your life or are you focused on the negatives?  I believe that he would want us to remember his life and not focus on his loss.  This is a giant task, as Allan was one of a kind.  AY set the bar on how we should live our lives.  Celebrate your health, your family, your significant other, and your friends.  Be grateful for the people in your life.  Be grateful for what you have and do not dwell on what you don’t have.  Allan will be greatly missed, but never forgotten. 

Allan, I love you brother and as you would always say, “Peace out.”

Allan,

I remember meeting you at the Crossroad Community Center as the brother to Allyson Yuen.  I had arrived to Bennet Elementary in the 4th grade and you had just changed schools.  From that summer until your last day, I considered you one of my closest and dearest friends.  I have too many memories to write just one, but the following things bring back tears, laughter, lonliness and thankfulness.  I will miss you so so much AY!  

Yo, Yo, my names AAAAAAYYYYYYYY

Telemarketing – Teen Suicide Prevention Center (our first real job)

7Eleven – nacho cheese, burritos, slurpees, redvines, paperboy video game

Lost wallet, jacket, cellphone, keys

Geo Metro – Uniguard brodies

Cookes cabin, always the most gear – but could never find what you needed

Clubbing – partner in crime – big blonde – 

St. Peter’s dirt biking

BB Guns wars (sling shot vs BB in “back”)        

Tam o Shanter pool, kick the can, playing tennis, football

Like brothers – loved each other - but got in a few fist fights (broken hand)

Audi bucket -- broken driver side door and window 

Bridge yumping, vantage trips “concerts”, samamish slew – searching for Brama

Skiing – Bellevue Ski School – spending the night at JABA the hut

Dance Moves -- one of a kind

Crossroad Mall, Showbiz Pizza, Crossroads Posse, pietro’s pizza video games

Bellsquare, tower records, riding the bus

Wrestling: always in the training room bullshitting, icing or riding the bike – my toughest competition and best training partner

Just the tip of the iceberg....

I love you brother,

Erick 

...and, oh snap,  another!
 

..and  another.....

AY showed up late. I was about to leave. He convinced me to stay to have one drink.....

When I moved to Bellevue from Iran, AY was the first friend that I made.  Little did I know how deep and lasting our friendship would be.

It was Ms. Peaches’ 2nd grade class where I decided to sit next to AY for story time.  While Ms. Peach was reading a story to the class, AY started telling me about how he had dinosaurs in his backyard.  As he kept talking, he grew more and more animated while I was quietly thinking, “I don’t know this kid, but he sure his funny.” 

Increasingly AY grew so excited weaving stories about Velociraptors and Tyrannosaurus fighting in his backyard he did not notice that the class had come to a screeching halt and was staring at him.  This resulted in AY getting his name on the board but I suspect it was because his story was so much better than Ms. Peaches’.

I’ll never have a friend that made me laugh so hard and so often.  Luckily, I have thousands of stories like the one above to remember him by. 

 AY, thank you and love you.

"I don't know guys, it's a sunny day, should we take kayaks out on Lake Union?" I casually asked the group of four of us.

"Yeeeaahhhh Brahhhhh, look at the hippie and his long hair, he wants to get out on the water.  I don't know Jay, I don't think we can keep up with Mr. Colorado?" AY said with a big grin. 

So we made our way down to the UW kayak rentals.  I remember all of us getting geared up on the dock and I referred to the lifejacket as a PFD (Personal Flotation Device).  It sparked another lighthearted razzing from AY about how I was the big man on campus now that I had spent a year in Colorado.  He always had a way of making me laugh while poking fun and calling me out.

It was one of those very late summer days in Seattle where the light flickered off the water but if you weren't in the sun there was a definite chill in the air. We made our way around the Arboretum having some laughs.  There weren't too many people out on the water that day. After paddling for a few hours we stopped in a wide-open section of the lake for a break. We were probably 1/4 mile from shore in either direction. I was still a novice but had done some whitewater kayaking and was talking on how to roll a river kayak back up if you ever tipped over when, ironically, I tipped over. 

The water was extremely cold.  I tried to remember my training but each time I attempted to roll back up I was only able to get my face out of the water for a split second.  From the viewpoint of my friends still in their boats I sounded like a drunk sea lion when my face broke the water and I would take a loud and pathetic breath. I gave it 4-5 attempts with no luck. I didn't want to exit my boat because we were so far from shore. Sitting there upside-down strapped to my kayak feeling tired and embarrassed I did the only thing left which was to drop my paddle and start hitting the sides of my boat with both hands.  This is what I was taught to do to signal other kayakers to paddle up to you so I could grab their boat and flip myself over.  Of course, from the viewpoint of those in the water who had never seen this before it looked like a distress call.

I knew the group didn't know why I was pounding my hands against my boat.  It was an act of pure frustration on my part. At this point I was exhausted and could barely breathe so I exited the boat.  When I came to the surface to get a much needed proper breath there was one image I will never forget.  It was the face of AY dog-paddling in the frigid water struggling to keep his head above the water with a look of pure concern on his face.

"Jay, Jay...I got you.  I'm here."  AY garbled through the water while trying to catch his breath. I looked around and saw his paddle and lifejacket floating away. I had two simultaneous thoughts, (1) what are you doing AY?? now we have a real mess...how are we going to get both of us to shore? ...and, (2) here is a guy with an enormous heart who put me first with total disregard for himself. 

I remember AY that way...always razzing and poking fun but with a heart bigger than himself.  He had a genuine concern for his friends to a level I have never seen in anyone else.

We swam to shore dragging our boats while the other two, still in their kayaks, helped carry our paddles.  We got to the shore and we all had a good laugh about the whole situation.  About how I was being a big shot and got knocked down and how AY was my David Hasselhoff from Baywatch.  I never got a chance to fully express my gratitude to AY for his selfless act and for the love he showed me.

I moved to New York ten years ago and every time there was anything in the news: the Blackout, Hurricane Irene, Superstorm Sandy...I always got a call from AY.  I only wish I would have kept one of those voicemails.  You could hear the concern and the love in his voice and they always gave me a heartwarming laugh. 

I miss having AY in my life.