- 55 years old
- Date of birth: Jun 12, 1960
- Place of birth:
California, United States
- Date of passing: Oct 4, 2015
- Place of passing:
Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
|My Mother Heidi will live on forever in our hearts and her spirit will always be with us. She will be missed dearly by everyone, but we will keep her memory alive everyday.|
"today makes 24 days that my heart has been broken and it doesn't get any easier, I think of all the great funny emotional serious annoying conversations we've had....I can see you still standing at my stairway as you were leaving Atlanta telling me you would be back for Christmas and we hugged and I cried as if my soul knew something I didn't....I wish you were here for me to talk to right now you had a way of putting things in perspective for me.
The selfish side of me wants you here but I know that isn't possible so I cherish and hold on to all the memories we have....a lifetime of amazing memories. You and I could get into stuff and it would be nothing extravagant but it would be a blast....I can see you up early showered with your hair curly using your Vaseline Intensive Care lotion on your legs as we talked about what needed to be done that day.
I remember when I bought the blue mustang and I had you taking pictures of me in front of it with the floppy hats on thinking I was cute (I was lol) I remember the first time I took a bite of your pepperoni pizza with Tillamook Sharp Cheddar cheese melted on top of your already cheesy pizza and ranch dressing on the side, or the white rice with butter cheese and ranch I was hooked lol.
You have always been more than my aunt you have been a mother, a friend, my worst nightmare sometimes lol, my confidant, my bingo and nickel machine partner.....so it's hard to imagine that you are not able to be here for me anymore, you won't see Brannon graduate or Damari go to 1st grade or Skylar start pre-k or baby Sam walk...I won't have you there when I walk down the aisle or when I am I struggling and have no one to talk to but you because you get me. There are so many voids in my world right now and I am trying to hold on, I am trying to be the strong person everyone thinks I am but it is so very hard...I long for that last touch that last hug that last smile with those huge dimples that could light up the room or that laughter. I wish for tomorrow to come and I wake up to one of your glides or a phone call and us having a conversation about this horrible nightmare I am living everyday....
I can't change anything and that's what is holding my heart hostage this is the one thing I couldn't fix...I couldn't say my goodbyes that way I needed to, I didn't hold your hand when you needed me too, I couldn't give you any of my time because I had to be here and I am so so sorry.....No matter how hard I try I can't let go of you not right now I love you and I need you....
My mom played your last voicemail to her today and my world crashed....I miss you so much Heidi please forgive me for not being there at the end because right now I can't forgive myself I love you....."
"Everyday I'm reminded of how much I love you, how much I learned from you, how much of a blessing you have been to me...
Everyday I'm reminded to forgive and love, to be better today than yesterday, to appreciate all things because there is an expiration date on everything...
Everyday I'm reminded how lucky I am that you were chosen to be my aunt/mom, I am taking each little piece of you and putting them in my heart...
Everyday I'm reminded that each of us have a purpose and a season and that God doesn't make mistakes....I will never stop loving you auntie Heidi and I will keep you alive in me I will always tell my kids stories of you and make them laugh at all the things about you that were hilarious...I will tell your grand babies how much joy they brought you and how proud you were to be their gamma
Everyday I'm reminded your body is just a shell and your spirit is free...a pretty butterfly followed me around the other night and I knew it was you...so thank you for reminding me you're still here I love you!"
"how do you say a few words when youve had a lifetime together...my sister ....so many memories i have of you..of us...playing bingo...playing Uno...going to the beach in the summer,,,,going swimming...laughing about whatever until we were in tears...sharing stuff about our daughters and our grandchildren...omg theres just so much ....missing you is something i never thought would happen....but i do..you are the best sister i couldve asked for ..yes we had our differences and silly arguments but somehow we got thru it...because we are sisters....i will never let you go..i will always remember your laugh..our long phone calls...just you being you...you will forever be my "louise and i your "thelma"...Heidi i love you forever and always....smoochess ..your sister Debbie"
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