Jehu, I am so happy I got to dream about you last night. You, HJ and I were trying to get hard-boiled eggs to float in water. I cut HJ's in half and it floated, but yours wouldn't. So I cut it in fourths to get it to float, but it still wasn't really floating and I just woke up. I am always happy to dream about you boo. HJ dreamed about you twice this week. In the first dream, you, he and Sam were playing basketball outside, and in the second one, you two had gone out to eat.. We are trying to preserve your memories as much as we can. I do try to write every dream I dream and to also write down some of the things I remembered about you so that you are always present with us boo.

So it's another new year and you are not here boo. Today was quiet while I cooked and everyone slept. I didn't even get to watch the ball drop like we did when you were little. Remember how many times we did that? Nobody was interested in taking a picture today, so I took this one for you my love. This is just your old mom missing and loving you forever, and ever, and ever and ever and ever.

Happy birthday my love!

So Jehu my love, I have been dreaming about you all this month! I even dreamed I found a sweatshirt you used to wear and I couldn't stop smelling it because it smelled just like you my love! So today3 years ago, you entered Heaven quietly and unceremoniously...just like that. Jehu was talking to me while I was at work, and the next thing you know, he was gone. Just like that. I still can't believe you're not here, but it is true, you are in Heaven, So all I can do now, is long for Heaven as I look forward to seeing you again. A lot has happened since I last posted. I have been meaning to, but I have been so preoccupied with other things. Sammy graduated from college, I know you already know. We also had a party for your Grandma in September. She was sooooooooooooo happy and it has made my year, just seeing her so happy. :) Today we went to see Sammy and Noah coach a CHS game. They tied, but they should've won. I will be posting some pictures later. But my love, you are ever present in our thoughts and hearts so much so that we are eating just like you would have and I am making some brownies too-Ghirardelli's, just like you like it. For to us, you have gone ahead, too soon, but nonetheless, we will all be together again. I love you Jehu, I always will!

Jehu, Hj was home last week for his birthday. Hadn't seen him since December so I really tried to cook up a storm. Can you believe I actually baked him a cake? Haven't baked a birthday cake in ages but I did.  I also made some Pot Roast, Parmesan cheese and some Chicken Marsala. HB was here too and so was Sam the man. He went back to school on Friday. It was nice having him home during our last snow storm.  Somebody dug a path to your grave and I think I know who this person is. I will leave a thank you card at his son's grave. Yes, they lost a son just like I did and I have met he and his wife at the cemetery a few times too. People can be so kind. :) Sorry, I have no pictures to share because I forgot to take them. You know how you guys don't like taking pictures, but thank God HB does.

Jah, your Uncle Meme came to visit on the 18th, but made sure he visited you first. So on this the 28th month of your home-going, I am leaving you a picture of his visit with you. Love you forever and always.,,Mom

Jehu, this is a new year and no you. Sometimes, I want the years to stop for a while, but life keeps going on. Still missing you my love. Sam had a banquet in December and he, Janday, HJ, HB and your Dad went to Liberia in December. I feel you were there in spirit. I believe with all my heart. Your Grandma was here spending the time with me and I was so grateful because it was the first time in a long time that I was without any children on Christmas Day. Nonetheless, we had a good time. We had brunch at church and watched Beauty and the Beast later that evening. It brought back so many memories of you guys when you were young, but they were good memories. I love and miss you boo boo and I know I will as long as I live. Love you plenty fahn boh!

Happy 25th birthday Jehu! We celebrated your birthday last week Wednesday, November 29th, because HJ and Sam were not going to be here today. I tried to make all the favorite things you loved to eat.
Your dad, Janday, Grandpa, Aunty Gertrude, Rachie and I. We ate ribs, mac and cheese, barbecue chicken, pizza, brownies and mountain dew. Today your grandma and I had some pizza and wings. Uncle Kingsley stopped by too.

Jehu, today was the day you entered Heaven two years, although today is the 25th. I just remembered. I watched Gordon played Endicott and remembered how you and your Dad could not go to see Sam play because you were not feeling well, and then Sam had to come home. Sad memories but we need all the memories in order to heal. I missed Community Group today so that I could watch the game and mourn your passing all over again. I like missing you because it means you are not physically here, but we can still sense your presence sometimes. I never, ever want to stop missing you as long as I live boo boo. Love you forever and ever, and ever and ever and ever....

Hey Jehu, I went by the old house on Knox Street yesterday and I just missed you so much. I have been missing you since last week; I guess it must have something to do with the fall because this is around the time you died. I couldn't say or type the word died for a very long time, but now I can. It still feels surreal that you are not here physically, but I know you are in spirit. Your brothers are here today, and so that means I am MISSING YOU EVEN MORE!!! I love you so much Jehu and I so look forward to seeing you again my love. :)

We celebrated Sammy's birthday today Jehu. You know he turns 21 on Tuesday. Cannot believe he's that old and you're not here to celebrate with us. We had a good laugh telling some of your stories though...you feel so alive in our hearts, thoughts and prayers. Oh, how we miss you Jehu.

Happy Easter Jehu! I hope you'll like the flowers I placed at your grave. I met Mrs. Sharkey your first grade teacher at BJ's on Wednesday and we talked about you. Meeting people from your life makes me sooooooo sad.  Today I met Mrs. Dalton, the other first grade teacher at the cemetery... it was just too much for me boo boo, way too much. I cried all the way home. Sam's here and HJ is on his way and I made sure I got some brownies in your memory. You should be making it, but I'll let Sam do you the honor. Let's hope it taste as good as yours. ;)

I'm watching Uconn play Kansas and we are not looking good at all! Indiana beat Kentucky earlier and I just missed you so much as I watched the game...

Jehu on this the 16th month of your demise, I am watching the Oscars for you! You would have loved Chris Rock opening monologue! It was sooooo funny! On my way home from Philly last night, I just missed you much and couldn't stop calling your name as I drove home from the train station! Still missing you boo boo! ‪#‎foreverlovedforevermissed‬

Jehu, today makes 15 months since you've been gone. I still cannot look at your death certificate. I feel only your body is gone, but your spirit is still here. Sometimes I sense your presence late at night or early in the morning. I went out the other day and bought that expensive Nivea cream you like to use. Thank God it was on sale. :) I rubbed it on my hands at night so I can smell you when I go to sleep. You are still so alive in my thoughts and dreams boo. See you in a bit my love. Today the sun was shining so bright when I went to say hello and I thought of the Beatles song Here Comes the Sun. I hope you like it. :)

Jehu at 6 months. June, 1992. ☺ So Jah-Jah, here you are looking so cute and so much alive! Who would've thought that I would be burying this adorable gorgeous baby boy. Who would've thought...but it is now my new reality...going to visit you at Pine Grove Cemetery. It feels so surreal. Notwithstanding we so look forward to seeing you again. You just went ahead that's all, but we'll be coming, one by one. I tell Jesus that I want to see Him, but could He please let me see my Jehu first. I think He'll let me. smile emoticon So my love, on this the 10th month of your demise, you are still very much alive in our hearts, in our dreams, in our thoughts and in this home. I love you so much my boo boo with every fiber of my very being!!! <3 <3 <3<3 <3