"Phyllis Joan Larsen, known to friends and family as "P. J." or "Auntie Phyl" or Phyl of "Phyl and Dickse" or simply as "Phyl," has taken her "Big Leave." She was 81 and, as she had always hoped, when her time came she left quickly with loved ones nearby.

Phyl came of age at a time when women were often expected to "follow along" but "following along" was always the last thing "PJ" ever wanted to do. She did things her way throughout her life.  Armed with little more than her remarkable tenacity, she would usually find a way to accomplish what she set her mind to in spite of constraints and restrictions imposed by a society that had not yet caught up with a young woman's belief in her own self-reliance. Phyl would simply find the way to "get it done." She surrounded herself with other strong and forward-thinking individuals and made it a part of her personal journey to pass to others her belief that the ability to trust in one's own sense of purpose was what separated "doers" from followers.

She learned to take care of herself on her own terms, and then she took care of everyone around her.

Many will remember Phyl for her care and devotion to her friend and companion "Dickse" or "Dix."  Phyl's care and compassion was indeed uncompromising, and no one could ever ask more of any friendship. She spent years helping her friend battle the physical and emotional challenges associated with the insidious disease called "chronic progressive multiple sclerosis," becoming physically and emotionally exhausted herself as Dickse's illness progressed. Sadly, as MS increasingly took its toll on her friend, Phyl became her surrogate voice, so when Phyl "left," in many ways Dickse's voice left as well.

This act of care and giving was remarkable, but Phyl was defined by so much more. She was also the person who always had the coffee ready so that her family, friends, and even friends of friends would have a place to gather. She offered her home as a refuge to so many through the years, sometimes for a few hours of conversation, sometimes as a place to stay and pull it back together, and she strove to keep an open mind and offer a non-judgmental ear even as the world around her changed.

She was someone who could either "just listen" or who would offer truthful but compassionate advice. She loved to hear about everyone's latest adventure and loved to laugh, especially at her self! Before her own health began to fail she loved to travel, often at the spur of the moment, and her curiosity about the world remained sharp and focused. She read her paper daily, followed local and world events, loved her "Rachel" and her sports.

Preceded in death by her parents, Madsen & Mamie Larsen, her sister, Betty Ann Kuhl, and her brother in–law, Lavern Kuhl, Phyl is survived by Dickse Kirch, "adopted" children Marilyn Nataupsky and Jon Kirch (Marjorie Hillson), niece Karen Silvernail and nephew Mark Kuhl, childhood and lifelong friend Mae Laigo, her dear friends Lynda Parker and "Dot" Hageman and many great-nieces and nephews as well as extended family members and friends, all of whom miss her greatly.

Phyllis believed any form of bigotry was vile and inexcusable and she never met a child that she didn't love. In her memory, please consider a donation to the Multiple Sclerosis Society or an agency that promotes tolerance and social justice. 

Here's Dickse's memorial http://www.forevermissed.com/dickse-kirch/#about