- 23 years old
- Date of birth: Jun 26, 1990
- Place of birth:
Beckley, West Virginia, United States
- Date of passing: Sep 7, 2013
- Place of passing:
Elgin, South Carolina, United States
|Let the memory of Ryan be with us forever|
"Today says to remember Ryan third Year.
I don't need to be reminded really and I think of you everyday. I can't believe you are gone. I just don't understand still.
I dreamed about four nights ago got to go to heaven if I just put my arms up and believe I could fly there, and I was looking for you. When they finally let me see you I saw u your face was beaming it was glowing like bronze as u normally did but it was more like a light under your face! When u looked at me it shines even more! As for me I know my face lite up when I saw you! Here on this earth my face is a frown that I try to smile every day. I want to make u proud that I continued to live.
But I can't help but think you would still say it was unfair you had to pass when so many others did same things u did and sometimes not so good things. I am glad that u got saved because u had such a sweet personality.
A tremendous loss on this earth is felt more then you will ever know.
I don't think u can hear me or read this but I guess I would like others to know what a special person you are and how u made my life complete.
Days you was here I always knew I would have a reason to feel better cause just seeing u would make me light up and my day was better.
Now I try to feel better but I will never have that sweet release of seeing ur face ! It is hard to explain.
I still feel like a weight on my body and shoulders cause it isn't lifted at all. I know I won't see you on this side of heaven.
I dreamed I had to come back to earth for some reason. Like I had more to do and you had stuff to do there but I was wanting to be around u when I was in heaven and I guess I smothered u and u got tired of me being around u and it hurt. Then when if it back to earth u came back and was upset at me and I asked y you said because I made u feel upset God had u to come back here so your heart would get right and u had to help here with someone in order to not have that kind of irritation in your heart.
It hurt me to know you didn't want to be around me so much or that I made u feel angry just being around you. Surly this is a nightmare.
But I woke up and was crying cause I never want to cause you pain or trouble. I also never want to lose you twice and it sure felt like that. I got to hold your face in my hands again hug you again. My baby boy. Forever 23. I was taken out of heaven and was told I had to die first to get there again and I was to be accidentally struck by lightening. I was trying to trip on a power cable to get there sooner.
I love u ryan. I miss you so much.
You was my life. Rocky was one half of me and you the other. Now I am only half a person. I was no one till I had you two.
I love u forever and always
"I dont have the right way to express how I feel right now. Except to say my heart will never be the same. It has been two years today when they told me you were gone. I knew I could feel your presence gone, and I just kept saying no, I thought if they didnt tell me maybe it would be a mistake. I kept hoping they identified you wrong. If i denied it maybe you would wake up. Most times when I have lost anyone close it seemed after time went so fast. And when I look back on this past two years, it did go fast in some ways, I still find it hard to believe. I find it hard to say, I find it unfair. Yet I cant say that because like you told me to trust God that he knows why and what he is doing and we have to trust him. How hard that is, others say God lost his son to. But he knew he was raised in only three days and after 40 days he ascended back to his father. Well It will be a lifetime till I can see you again. All I can do is pray that God helps me to live with the pain of missing you. So see the time feels slow when you feel you are being tormented everyday without your baby on this earth. So some ways it was so fast, two years already. Then another two long years of missing you. If I live on this earth for 23 more years I will love you still, I will never forget your face, smile and tears you cried. I know you kept saying you felt like you was going to do something good for God but didnt know what. I hope that your passing has helped some to know God. Maybe that is what it was. I dont know but if it helped anyone I know YOU would say "Ma it was worth it, to help anyone get to know God" You was an awesome young boy when you were little, with so much insight on things. And You was a awesome young man who really did love people. You cared for people. Some hurt your heart when they took it and made it seem bad cause you cared. Some people was cruel. But you kept being you. I love you Ryan and as you told me I am to forgive others. You have and did. So I did and have. I still have the lump in my throat and headaches everyday, like the tension cant and wont release. The tension I felt when they told me what my fear already knew, but wanted to deny has never let up. It has gripped me and wont let go. I pray that God can help heal my head pain. And my heart pain. You was and are my life and I know you are asleep waiting for the day Jesus comes in the Clouds and when the dead in Christ rise I know you will be there and we both will be caught up with him in the clouds. What a wonderful day that will be. I know when you open your eyes it will seem to you as if it was a blink of an eye you was behind your wheel. So that is comforting knowing you will not know any bad things going on here. You would want to kick my butt for all this crying. lol Until I see you again My precious son, RIP Then angels are surrounding you and keeping you safe."
"Rc didn't know a stranger. He always had a hug and smile for everyone he saw. I am gratefully to have the pleasure and honor to have this young man in my life even for a short while. I know I have a friend in heaven. We miss Rc"
"To say you are missed is a vast understatement. Everyone whose life was blessed with your presence misses you no re than words can ever explain. You were a gift to us all. You taught us all to love unconditionally and you loved your family more than life. It is so hard to deal sometimes, but I know you are here. I miss you."
"Gosh not even sure what to say except I still find it hard to understand you are gone. You was the light of my world. You made me laugh when I was crying or mad. You made the room light up when you walked in and I saw your beautiful face. Your personality was such that I wanted to be around you. I always was proud of u but knew you had abilities to grow into a strong leader one day if you could see it yourself. You gave the shirt off your back to others. You would rather see others do with and you without. Ryan I could go on and on. I just know living everyday without u can be torture. But I know you want me to be happy and I am trying dear. I am trying . I love u more then u will ever know. Love your momma"
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