<p>Bekah was about 2 and her brother and cousin Breanna.  I had t tops and they wanted a ride. I only went down a private street. Drew and Bre loved it. Bekah hid in the floorboar  yelling "My hair, My hair". Miss that sweet baby, child and young woman<

It's taken me a long time to be able to write something about my cousin "Gekah".  Since I was born I looked up to her.  As a person, a friend, a christian, a cousin.  She was more of a sister to me than the two that I was blessed with.  And she was the only one who didn't mind when I copied her every move.  She loved Elvis. I love Elvis.  She loved Lucy.  I love Lucy.  She loved Orange.  I love Orange.  She memorized Summer Girls.  I had to too.  She was the best role model I could ask for.  
I remember when I was in middle school, I strayed from God.  I was rebelious and had so many unanswered questions and although I cant remember the day I said I no longer believed in Him I CAN remember the day I came back to my faith.  A few days later Bekah wrote me a letter that I will always cherish.  Telling me how proud she was of me and how she cried knowing that we will spend eternity together in Heaven.  I want to question God again for taking my cousin, my role model, but I wont dare do that.  I wont do it because I know where Bekah is.  I know where she is because she knew where she was going.  Like a small child I still look up to her and I can only hope to have the confidence in my faith that she had in hers and shared with the world.  
When I found out that I was pregnant I was terrified to tell my family.  I wasn't married and anyone in the family barely knew my boyfriend.  I texted Bekah as soon as I found out and asked her to call me and within seconds my phone rang.  She was THRILLED to have a new baby cousin.  Her excitement was the first thing that got me excited about my future child.  She kept it a secret (from everyone other than Craig, of course!) for weeks.  She would text every couple of days to ask how things were going and if she was allowed to tell yet and when I told her she could, she couldnt wait! I was supposed to have my son on the 17th and when it was the 28th and I still hadn't had him, even though she was in so much pain from her kidney stones, she was worried I wouldn't have him before she left for her wedding.  She wanted to be there for me so bad.  The day I had him she was supposed to come but she was in too much pain.  She was leaving for her wedding the following morning so I told her not to worry about it, he wouldn't grow that much in 5 days.  As soon as her plane landed, once she was back from Colorado, she and Craig came straight to my house.  I wish so badly that I would've known it was the last time I would see her.  I wouldn't have had other people stop by, I would have taken more pictures, I would have hugged her so much longer. I thought I was going to see her the following weekend.  She died the next Friday morning.
My aunt Leshia called to tell me.  My life will never be the same.  I will always miss that bright shining light, leading me to be a better person.  But I know she shines brighter than ever.  I know she is with me.  I know she is with my son.  I know she will watch over me and him the way she has my whole life.  

I am so lucky to have had Bekah as my cousin for 25 and 1/2 years.  The holidays are approaching and i'm so scared as to what they are going to be like without her.  I dont know how my family is going to get through this first year.  But I am CERTAIN that Bekah will be with us.  

I love you Bekah.   Thank you for being you.  For being my cousin.  

Pic with Myra's note....

This was taken at my birthday 3 years ago. Bekah came home for the surprise party. I was so glad to see her. Drew doesn't like his picture taken so I cherish each one of them together.God blessed us with such wonderful kids. No they were not perfect like all parents want to think. But they are just perfect in my heart. They know Jesus and are not ashamed  to tell it. I miss you my baby girl.

A butterfly lights beside us like a sunbeam
And for a brief moment its glory
and beauty belong to our world
But then it flies again
And though we wish it could have stayed...
We feel lucky to have seen it.

A Child of Mine

I will lend you, for a little time,
A child of mine, He said.
For you to love her while she lives,
And mourn for when she's dead.

It may be six or seven years,
Or twenty-seven or eight.
But will you, till I call her back,
Take care of her for Me?

She'll bring her charms to gladden you,
And should her stay be brief.
You'll have her lovely memories,
As solace for your grief.

I cannot promise she will stay,
Since all from earth return.
But there are lessons taught down there,
I want this child to learn.

I've looked the wide world over,
In search for teachers true.
And from the throngs that crowd life's lanes,
I have selected you.

Now will you give her all your love,
Nor think the labour vain.
Nor hate me when I come
To take her home again?

I fancied that I heard them say,
'Dear Lord, Thy will be done!'
For all the joys Thy child shall bring,
The risk of grief we'll run.

We'll shelter her with tenderness,
We'll love her while we may,
And for the happiness we've known,
Forever grateful stay.

But should the angels call for her,
Much sooner than we've planned.
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes,
And try to understand