How do you reconcile within yourself the fact that you loved, nurtured and were totally devoted to such a wonderful creature and then you had to be the one to kill her in the end? To "ease the suffering" people say, but the guilt and pain associated with such a horrific act by me, by the only person in the whole world she loved and trusted-I will never get over it.  I miss my children. I want to suffer. I love you Charlotte and Cypress. I am sorry.

For some reason, I am unable to talk about Charlotte's life.  For Cypress, it was a way to work through the grief, to write about her and create a webpage celebrating how much she was loved.  I assumed it would be the same for Charlotte, but I can't do it. The loss of her in my life is devastating. The loss of Cypress was worse, because it came too soon, but I took care of Charlotte so totally for several years as she was not walking and had many ills, that to be all of the sudden free and with no one to help get up, feed, clean up after etc, that I am at a loss what to do.
Charlotte was so different than any other dog that I have ever had the joy to know.
I have no words to help ease the pain of her passing.