Kisses

Our first family pics.  She is clearly her daddy‘s twin and I was obviously an incubator, LOL....:(Heartbroken

Me and my beautiful girl.

Sweet Sarah Kelley at your grave site.

  Before Chloe went on to paradise, with good buddy Luke.

Literally the best gift I’ve ever received right here. Luke was one of Chloe‘s childhood friends and his thoughtful mama, Tricia, actually included these in Luke’s senior pics.

Another very hard but necessary day. Was glad I got to love on some of Chloe’s preschool classmates that graduated, Mitch Rosemeyer, Luke Sheridan, and Sara Kelley.

With Sarah Kelley

 Chloe‘s fourth birthday. Love this one because I didn’t find it until 2018,  new picture is like finding a gold mine

Hadn’t written in a while and I need to because it’s healing for my soul. I was very distracted this year for your birthday in preparation to move to Colorado Springs. We were inSterling Colorado year before last but only for a year to make sure I would do better with the lower humidity and ok in the altitude.  So I believe  God is truly taking me to the place that I will be when HE calls me home to be reunited with you. Sounds silly but I feel bad leaving your headstone behind, but I have never been a fan of going there because just like Jesus isn’t in the tomb...You are somewhere far greater. It’s been beyond a struggle doing this life without you. If I had never known how amazing it was To have you in my life I’m sure I wouldn’t hurt so bad but I wouldn’t trade those four years for anything in this world. I’m so excited to be able to leave behind the things of this world and celebrate in glory with you sweetheart. You made everything that was ugly and dark about this world beautiful and bright. I’m so glad that life does not stop there and that you never had to endure what I see my nieces and nephews going through every day living in a fallen world full of hate, self consumption, greed, and anger. I could not go on if I didn’t know that there was something absolutely amazing beyond what we endure here.  I can’t imagine you at 19.  I’m sure you would be thriving at college and still be the apple of your daddy and I’s eye. I love you forever sweet baby girl,  and, as every year, Iam more anxiously awaiting our reuniting in glory.

So, today Chloe would be 15. So hard to believe it's been 10 years since she left this earth to be with her Heavenly Father. I have realized that it never gets better but it does get a bit easier. I'm so happy that The Lord has used me to help others by becoming a Biblical counselor and offering a class called GriefShare. It's a tremendous blessing to see other people receive the hope and comfort that the good Lord has shown me!

This day I've just been looking over Chloe's memorial.  I'm currently going to school to be a biblical counselor. I'm also getting ready to start my own Ministry at my church called "Healing Hearts" for grieving family who have lost a loved one. I look at all that God has done in the past nine years and I stand in Awe of His Sovereignty, grace, mercy and love. Amidst all the pain and suffering I endure, He has given me the strength to reach out to help others who are crippled and in bondage of depression from the loss of loved ones. Though I long for the days with my baby girl, I rejoice always in knowing where she is and in knowing my Heavenly Father is using me for a greater purpose than what I could have ever accomplished on my own. He alone can bring peace, joy, fulfillment in the midst of pain and suffering and can heal us from the inside out. Though the pain has never lessened, I have great purpose in seeing the people I've already helped have a hope that God used me to reveal to them. He is always faithful!

This was Chloe's 2nd Halloween! She was too cute as "Minnie Mouse"! She just loved her Uncle Dale and Aunt Katie!

This day was such a fun one. Sammie was spending the day with us and my best friend, Kayann, and her daughter Magie came over to play and swim! Love, love, love this pic!

This is one of my favorite pictures! It shows those beautiful "baby blue Brattain eyes."

In this picture is Chloe in the middle, Daisy, Chloe's cousin on the right and on the left Bailey Everett(Amy McKees daughter) This was a bittersweet moment! Bailey's mommy, Amy had just went on to heaven a few months before this picture! Aunt Lisa and Ginger(McKee) bought the big girls their dresses and my friend, Kayann got Chloe's! I think Chloe looked like a little Dutch baby here! Lol!

Chloe loved scrapbooking with me! Who knew how much that scrapbook would mean to me now! I loved this page we did-she ALWAYS smiled!

Chloe's Second Birthday was quite memorable! We had Elmo there and it scared her like crazy! Aunt Lisa was trying to make her feel better after she got her face painted!

God has given me this story/memory kept fresh in my mind to help me deal with my daily pain and grief.
I was leaving to go meet her daddy at like ten in the morning and there was a bad rain/ice storm. As I headed for the door I tried to prepare her that she would be staying home the weather was too bad for her to get out. With one rain boot on and her coat already on her exact words to me were "Mommy, I AM going with you, don't you know that wherever you go is where I always want to be." In my mind I thought how can you say no to that?!  The best compliment a Mommy could ever imagine. But a regret that would cripple me Every. Single. Day.