Hi Daddy! Looking back at my tributes to you, I noticed I missed a few times to write, which really makes me sad. I hate to think I am too busy to write to you, at the anniversary of your passing and your birthday. I am at work, and I am not enjoying it at all. I just keep showing-up because I have to. It is not fulfilling, and I just do not know what to do. How are you!? What are you doing!? Where do you live!? Who are you seeing!? I know it is so much nicer than anything down here. Life is filled with so much disappointment here. I have been so discouraged. Is this something you know, or are residents in Heaven aware of our struggles here!? Mother is sick but I have visited. She seems to be doing well considering her health situation. Ariel, Daniel, Jacob, and Timothy, Jr. all seem to be doing well. I do stop by the cemetery each time I visit mother. I stop on the way in and on the way out. We need to put new flowers there for you. Terry is doing well. We have a new RV, and it has been a lot of fun. We just got back from camping in the mountains and had such a nice time. When we return home and go back to work it sucks the wind out of our sails. I miss you and wish you were here to visit. There is so much in life here I simply do not understand. You now have the mind of God and have all the answers. It is sad and lonely here, and I guess the truth is I am terrified of aging, getting sick, being alone, etc. I used to feel so much more confident...not so much now. I hope you are watching over me. I am sad, lonely and confused most of the time, but I keep chugging along. You are missed and thought about all the time. Happy birthday for this past year, 11/21/2022! I wonder how birthdays are done in Heaven, where you live!? I guess I will sign-off for now but will return to write more. Please, tell all our family and friends there "Hi" for me. It really would be neat to know where you live and what kinds of things you do each day. I am really sorry I was a selfish son in so many ways. I could have treated you so much better, and I am sorry I did not. I will spend some time with you, when I get home. We were away on Saturday, the anniversary of you leaving us. Sorry I did not write that day. Thank you, for being my Daddy. I love you!!! 

Hi Daddy! It is hard to believe seven years have passed, since you left us! I often times think, of a lot of negative things on Earth you have missed, and while it is very sad you have gone, I am glad you did not have to witness a lot of those things. I imagine you have special assignments in Heaven and that you are singing and interceding for us from there...especially Mother, who is, as you know, sick. Timothy and Michelle have worked very hard to provide excellent care for her, and I have visited several times this year, making homemade ice cream once. It is funny, because the weekend Terry and I decided to do that, it turned cold, wet, and windy. Recently I have thought, that those like you who have gone to Heaven, are surrounded, by those things on Earth, that not only pleased you here, but God Almighty. I imagine, for, example, that when Mother goes to Heaven, she will be surrounded by perfect butterflies and lots of them. I wonder...what did you like so much here, that God would allow you to enjoy there? I know you loved Psalm 23, and I imagine you are by the still stream, enjoying God's rewards for those who love Him. I imagine I will be surrounded by glorious mountains! Ariel, Daniel, Jacob, and Timothy are all pushing through school and doing well! Terry and I are still together, and we enjoy, being on the road and out in nature. We saw some very beautiful water falls in Dupont Park recently. It had rained the morning we went, so we got quite a show! I found out Bethany passed away, and it made me sad to my depths. I hope and pray she is there with you in Heaven and that you have met our family! It pains me to recall my reckless past. I look forward to the day, when Jesus makes all I did wrong all so right! I wish you could show them all to me in a dream. I often wonder how, with different choices and events, life would have been? I struggle, missing Ariel. I enjoy it when we text or chat on the phone! The best times are when I see her! My health has declined in the past year, and I have so little energy anymore. I have to remember others struggle even more. I have seen you a few times in my dreams, and I am happy for that! We are all doing ok, considering the world being upside down, coupled with our own personal issues. I do hope and pray, that God has given you the desires of your heart there! We are surely not perfect here, but that is corrected in Heaven. I struggle with the evil in this world, but I still accept Jesus Christ! Without Him, what else is there? I want to do more positive things here, but usually lack resources and confidence. Maybe God keeps me around, because He feels one day I will get it! I must go for now, sadly. This is my only connection to you. It is really very hard to believe, that these many years have passed. You are missed indeed and never forgotten! It is amazing to realize how much I really did not know about my Earthly Father. I so hope I will know you, when I arrive, at the pearly gates! I love you Daddy!!! Your Son.  

By the way Daddy, Ariel made "straight" A's, not staight A's! LOL!!!

Hey Daddy! It is hard to believe another year has come and gone. How are you!? Terry and I are doing well, despite the world imploding on itself. I am pleased you are safe and well, in the arms of Jesus! Ariel and I had lunch the other day. She has grown into a fine young woman...you would be so proud! She has been making staight A's. I am happy for her! Terry's daughter Natalie is working hard. Evan stopped school for now, took a new job, and hopes to move to Nashville, TN in a year, to get into the music scene. All our children are beautiful and amazing people...real blessings! Terry and I hope to travel more, as we did recently to TN and KY, where we came up on our first black bear...he did not eat us...and well, we left him alone too. Terry and I are both tired mentally and physically, from our jobs. We hope to retire, travel, and experience all the wonderful things God has created. I still wish God would let me see where you live and what you do there. I can only imagine, what is must be like there. I spoke with mother briefly tonight. There was a storm at the house, and the phone was out for a bit...but we finally talked. She seemed in good spirits. She got a new refrigerator...she said the one Cherie bought her lasted 17 years! It had housed a lot of treats for you over the years it was in service, at the house. My annual tribute is a time, where I can chat with you and tell you what is on my mind. My mind struggles, with the weight of the worries of this world. Sadly, the world deteriorates more every day. Oh, how it must sadden the Lord to see his once perfect creation unravel. How much more will God allow? Do you see Jesus!? Does he walk with you and talk with you, as the old hymn says!? When Terry and I travelled, we got a small taste of God's wonderful creation. There is so much to see, off the beaten path...hoping we can do more. Have you seen Billie, Harold, Kim, Frazier, Tubby, Ruth, Ruby, Alvin, your mother, your daddy, and so many other family and friends!? Are there special things you enjoy doing each day!? Come visit me, in my dreams and tell me about where you live. I have not been to your graveside recently but will return. I miss, being able to see and talk with you...how you always made sure I was okay to hit the road, before heading out. There are so many things we have and continue to take for granted...a flaw in humanity. Once it's gone you cannot get it back. I will forever regret wasted time...time wasted on so many things, that had such little significance relative to time I could have spent with you. How does one ever reconcile this within themself? As always, it is hard to break away from writing...it feels as though we can actually talk. There is a pain I have discovered, that no amount of time could ever possibly take away...the pain of losing a daddy. God forgive me for the time I continue to waste. Watch over me Daddy...help me navigate this treacherous life...this cold and lonely life. Enjoy the true freedom, that comes with, knowing, serving and loving Jesus Christ. Perhaps I failed you last year in not returning to write. I should be ashamed. I will not make the same mistake tomorrow...you are worthy of so much conversation...I love you, Daddy...let's talk tomorrow.   

Hi Daddy! Five years in Heaven is like a day. I hope you are doing well in your new home! I dream about you and wonder what your mansion is like, what assignments you have, and if you are able to sing like you always wanted to here. I bet you have been given the best voice there! Who have you seen? Who have you met? I wish I could dream of what your home looks like. Things are surely different without you here. Ariel, Daniel, Jacob, and Timothy, Jr. are all doing well...all in school. Ariel made straight A's this semester. We have dealt with COVID-19 and I lost a co-worker, Harry. Perhaps you will meet. I hope there are a lot of really nice people there! I feel I am not a very nice person, but I want Heaven to be my home too someday, even though I do not deserve it. We are having "uncivil unrest" here. People are looking to other people for the answers, when what they actually need to do is to seek Jesus. Things on this Earth really began to deteriorate, shortly, after you left us. I know God is not pleased. I fear I have done my fair share to offend Him. Work is hard. Life is hard. I have not seen Ariel since after Christmas 2019, following my surgery. Terry and I are still together. She is my best friend. I believe Ariel and Cherie are doing well, considering the COVID-19 crisis. I am still a square, trying to fit into a round hole. Terry and I have a nice, big house we have been trying to make a home. We have done a lot of work and have more to do. I hope before I die, I will experience a fulfilling life here on Earth. So far, I am not sure I have. There have been some good experiences though. I am older and grayer...just trying to find the energy to make it one more day. I am sorry, if I missed writing on your last birthday. That upsets me, if I did. I spoke with mother tonight. She told me she had been thinking about the day you left. She had not heard from Timothy or Michelle yet. Terry and I took mother out for Mother's Day this May, and we placed new flowers and a cross on your grave. It looks really nice, in the shade of the tree, while looking toward the water, where guys still fish. I am struggling here every day but making it. We have had an emergency mobilization at work, which is making work exhausting, yet I continue, looking for ways to make it less stressful. Wondering if you are rested, if you sleep or eat, if you think about us too? This is always such a hard time for me. Daddy's are meant to be with their sons. I miss you a lot, which sounds to simple to say. I, in ways, am a reflection of you, with your looks and interesting sense of humor, that not everyone gets, but which sure makes me laugh. Thank you, for making a home for us, for feeding us, for clothing us, for getting us to school and taking us on trips. I have to go to bed now. It is late, and I am pulling 12.5, again. Have fun there with your family and friends! My heart was, is, and will remain broken, as you were a part of it and now you are gone. It's hard to take, and no it does not heal with time. The wound remains fresh and deep. Thank you, for being my Daddy, and I will try to write some more tomorrow. I have to prepare to do trivial things in life, when all I really want to do is to spend a little time with you. Watch over me, from where you are. Help me cope with the things I cannot. Always be my Daddy. Know that I do not fault you for your imperfections...I have plenty of my own. Know that I love you!!!!!!! By the way, look for Kyle Sweet, Michael Sweet's wife. Please, tell her your son, Michael, says hey. I love her husband a lot and got to meet him last June 2019, when Terry and I went to see Stryper in Roanoke Rapids, NC. I love you and will talk with you tomorrow Daddy!!!!!!!  

It is June 4, 2019...so hard to believe it has been four years...how time flies. Daddy, you are missed every day! Timothy took mother to your grave side and sent me a picture. I had been to clean your headstone and grave area on Mother's Day, 2019. I took mother then. I am down here working hard every day. Some days and some people really try my patience, but I continue to persevere. I wonder often what you have been doing there in Heaven. I cannot even begin to imagine all the glorious things you are seeing and doing!!! What is your special assignment? What is your mansion like? Who are your neighbors? I look for you and have seen you in my dreams. I would never wish you away from Heaven, yet it would be nice to have you here...to visit and for conversation. Ariel is graduating from High School/Home School...Avants Christian Academy. She has grown into a very beautiful young woman!!! I know you would be so proud!!! I hear Daniel is taking some extra courses for his Associate's Degree, before heading to NC State, like his Uncle Timothy did years ago. Jacob is graduating from High School on June 15, then attending Wake Tech, then Vance-Granville, then East Carolina University, where hopefully he will kick for the Pirates. I will be travelling that same day to see Stryper in Roanoke Rapids, NC. You remember I love them!!! I also plan to travel and maybe camp some, during that time off. I am tired from being mobile at work today. I apparently will be mobile, again tomorrow, because I am needed to park a beauty queen. That is my specialty after all! I love you, and I miss you every day!!! I wish you did not have to leave us all so soon!!! I remember all the good things you taught me!!! That is all that really matters!!! Thank you, for everything you did for me here, to protect me, care for me, and teach me! I am proud the call you Daddy!!!

...Was given a Daddy for 51 years who lived for 78 years. I never said I was good in math!

Happy Birthday, 11/21/2018! Can you believe it is your birthday already, and we are weeks away from Christmas? Your family are all well. I have been having some issues, but that is nothing new. Ariel is 18 now and enjoying a new job, where she does very well! I am in my 11th year, doing the same old things. Mother seems to be making it fine. No memory or combination of them, is a replacement for a daddy. Each year I regret not having spent more time with you. I am not sure I will ever get over it. At least I was blessed to have a daddy for 78 years, while so many children never even know their dads. Thank you, for bringing us up in a home, where Jesus was a part! You and mother helped provide for us and gave us a fighting chance to survive in this world! Can you believe some places consider me a senior citizen now? Wow! Who ever thought I would make it that far? Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow! How appropriate your birthday and Thanksgiving are side by side! The thing that continues to intrigue me most, is that you are in the presence of Jesus Christ! Now that makes for a wonderful birthday, Thanksgiving, and Christmas! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Daddy! Happy birthday to you! I love you!

Happy Birthday Daddy! It is Thanksgiving, and I am at work. I picked-up mother this past Friday night and took her to Jacob's football game. I think she enjoyed it, and Jacob was surprised. He is learning to kick the football for points after touchdowns, kickoffs, and field goals. Ariel is really growing, and I hate she missed out on you so much. It makes me sad, and I will not likely get over it. I plan to see the girls for Thanksgiving dinner this evening after work. It is cool today, which makes it nice. Of course, the Lions will play, but I am not sure what other teams are playing. I was wondering this morning, what things take place in Heaven on Thanksgiving Day. It has got to be better than down here. Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you. I do often. I stopped by your grave side four times on Friday...to and from the house twice. It was cold...but we had fun!!! I will write, again.

WOW! It does not seem to matter how many years you were living on this Earth...when you are gone, you are just gone. It is very weird and does not really make a lot of sense to me. Daddy, at least you left your legacy, that Jesus is the most important topic we will address here on this Earth. The first of your grandchildren just graduated this past Saturday. The others are growing by leaps and bounds. You are really missed, and I am still very sorry I was not there, as much as I should have been for the latter part of your life. So little makes sense to me, regarding life, death, and eternity. I trust every day you are happy and peaceful where you are. Things are a mess down here. Other than family, you are not really missing anything. I enjoy time with family. I work a lot and stay pretty tired. You know more about my situation here than even I do. I wish I could see where and how you live. I wonder what you are doing and if you have special assignments. I wonder if you are with family members who have gone before. I wonder if you have met those who have passed, that I would like you to meet. I know what I want, while I am here, but it is not working out at this time. I am very discouraged but just keep chugging along. I really do not know why. I do not feel I serve any valuable purpose here. I am glad you have no more sorrow and pain. I cannot even begin to imagine what life in Heaven is like. I am just glad to know it is your home.

Happy Birthday Daddy! Angels gleaming. Choirs singing. They're casting their crowns at the feet of the Master. What...are you doing in Heaven today? Your voice is perfect. You have a new body, and you are feeling no pain. I wish I could hear you. I wish I could kiss you. It's so hard on us who remain! What...are you doing in Heaven today? This is just a little poem I wrote the other morning, thinking of you. I took mother shopping yesterday in Henderson. She is doing okay and enjoyed being out. We had dinner at Ribeyes and she seemed to enjoy that. We placed new flowers at your grave side. Christmas flowers with a pretty Christmas bow. We also put a new flag up! It was windy so you would have enjoyed, seeing it flying! I am not doing so great. I have health issues, of course, and I am still having trouble, finding my place here. Michelle and I turned 53. Timothy turns 55 in a few days, then Mother's birthday comes soon after that. I have been recovering from yet another surgery. My ticker seems okay, but everything else has been going to pot. I have enjoyed being away from work so very much! I dread going back! I wish so much I could work independently. I like working alone. I do not care for the crowds. I hang around and work anyway so that I can leave something for Ariel, when I am gone. I HATE that I have not done more for her. Guess I have never been particularly good at anything. There have been a few good friends...you know who they are. Cherie has been working hard and makes a good home for Ariel. I worry about them both but know I annoy them, so I just stay alone. I have been reading my bible more lately. I KNOW that makes you happy! I wish you were here, enjoying the things you like. Again, I stopped by your grave yesterday (Sunday). It was Denise's birthday, as you recall. We always thought it was funny with the side by side birthdays for you and her and me and Cherie. There has been some bickering, as you know, between she and myself, as well as the siblings and mother, and I refuse to be a participant. Thanksgiving will be here in a few days. Time is just flying by. I am holding on best I can. I think I have been doing better, fighting my depression, but it is ever present. Just coasting with no where in particular to be...steadily a misfit. Thank you, for making me feel special, while you were here. We will miss you Thanksgiving Day! I am so sorry for not being there all the times you wanted your children there. I have not learned to deal with that. I will never forgive myself. Now it is much too late. It upsets me so badly. Anyway, I am thankful you are my Daddy. You have left a lasting legacy. It is the constant reminder that we all should know, accept, and love Christ! Maybe He will be honored more now that Trump is in! Can you believe it!? I do wonder what you are doing in Heaven today. It blows my mind just imagining it. You are actually living it! I wish you could send me pictures of your mansion. I am very glad you have a nice house and that the mortgage is paid. I wonder who all you have met and talked with. All those Christians in the bible you read and wrote about for years. How could anyone not want that!? Well, I guess I will go for now, but it sure hurts. I am sorry. I just am not that strong. I always hope to see you in my dreams! I love you, Daddy!

I lost my biggest advocate and fan, when I lost my daddy. I hate being here. Life is filled with so many trials, challenges, tests, and disappointments. I always seem to make the wrong choice, whatever the topic...family, friends, work. I am fragile, and no one is coming to my rescue. I do not have one true friend. My family does not seek me out. My job is a dead end. I feel isolated...alone. At least Daddy tried. He always expressed concern, and now he is not here to do that. I can never have that back. To say I am hurt is the understatement of the day. It is a year later, and all I see are my own words. It is as though Daddy died and that is it. I do not like it one bit.

Here I am at work, when I should be with my mother and siblings on this special day. I have had so many thoughts go through my mind, as the year has passed. I remember the day and the call all too well. I have yet to learn how to process it all. I often wonder about what Daddy's new life is really like in Heaven. It is well beyond my mind's ability to comprehend. I do believe he is more than ok, and I am not. I have been thinking about all the "what ifs". Daily I hear his voice, asking for any number of simple things he wanted, that I thought were trivial then but so important now, after the fact. How many times have we heard, "love them, while they are here"? Well, I did not do that to the fullest. It is amazing how clear everything is now, in terms of what I should have done. That is my most difficult struggle so far. How do I forgive myself for failing to spend the time with Daddy that I should have? I do not know, because I have not forgiven myself. I was impatient and not as gentle or understanding, as I should have been. It really bothers me, knowing how isolated and lonely he must have felt. I know that feeling, and I should have known better. I am so sorry and so lonely for that part of my life...the time we could spend together. I miss Daddy very much. I know he cared about me...for me. I miss him being here to say it. I just spoke with my mother. I wanted to know how she is doing. She seemed ok. She told me that Robert and Lynn Clinebelle will be bringing their new baby into the world today. One leaves in death, as another arrives in birth.

How does one even begin to pay tribute to a man God created, to be my earthly father for 51 years? I suppose the answer is that I should follow the example you provided for me. Daddy, you had no idea how very sick I have been all these years, since I was a little boy. I was never the son I should have been, but I know you forgive me. Your Bible reading and prayer were not in vain. God heard them and sustained me, giving me a much longer life experience than I could ever have imagined, and it has brought many beautiful people into my world. I know at the times I was struggling the most, you were absolutely there, seeking God and brokering yet another recovery. No one else but you could ever be my daddy. I am so heartbroken. I am so lost, yet in Heaven, your new home, I know you are with family and friends, interceding on behalf of me, Michelle, Timothy, mother, your daughters-in-law, son-in-law, grandchildren, family and friends. You had an amazing witness and you still do. I hope to get better. Since you are with Jesus, please, let Him know I need an extra portion. I have read a lot of what you wrote. You were filled with so much love. I will try to thank you by how I live. I always believed you were proud of me. Daddy, I was, am, and always will be so very proud of you. I miss you so very much Daddy. I am not even half the Daddy you have been to me, but I will try harder, because you showed me how! You will always find me with my Bible! I bet your mansion is beautiful! Daddy, I love you!

To Michael and family -
We are so sorry to learn of your father's passing. Praying God's peace and comfort for you as you lay him to rest today. We will continue to pray for you during this time of grief and loss. May Jesus care for your hearts well.
Love,
Bob, Paula and Eleanor

Our sympathy is with you and your family. Praying for all of you during this difficult time. May God continue to bless each of you.

My sympathy is with you all. Lonnie's illness has been lengthy and tough for him and you all. May you be blessed for the good care that you provided him over his years of illness. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.

We are so sorry to hear of Lonnie's death. Lifting you all up in our thoughts and prayers during this difficult time. Although it is a very sad time for all of you and you will miss him terribly, I rejoice in the fact that he is no longer sick or in pain. God Bless You All !!

My sympathy and Prayers are with all of you during this time of hardship. May you feel the loving arms and comfort of Jesus wrapped around you.