Dear Mom,
The true measure of a person is known by the fruit they bear. I am one of those fruits you bore. A large measure of what you accomplished in and with your life, time, energy, opportunities, abilities and love can be seen in the number of children you taught and raised (7) and in the success your children have achieved in their lives, careers and in the way they have raised their children. Another large measure of your life has been captured and described beautifully in the “Reflections of Your Life.”
When the long arc of the moral universe bent towards justice, it found you standing there already. When justice rolled down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream, in the Monmouth County, N.J. area from the 1950s to the present, you and other civil rights activist like your husband, Thomas Daniels; Ermon Jones; Darby Brooks, Jr.; Sam Jones; Howard West; Vernon McGowen, Jr. and so many more made sure that that justice and righteousness created education, housing and employment opportunities and social, economic and political benefits for African Americans. The educational, housing and employment opportunities included but were not limited to the desegregation of the Neptune Township Public School System, the Gable Housing Development and the Neptune Township Municipal government work force in the late 1950s and early 1960s. As a result of yours, dad’s and others’ ongoing civil rights efforts the Neptune Township Public School System and Neptune Township Municipal government has become one of the more integrated and progressive school systems and municipalities in New Jersey where African Americans have a real voice in setting public policy.
However, your true essence, the real flower of your nature and character cannot be captured within the long list of your professional, community, political, social, civil rights and humanitarian activities, awards and achievements. A glimpse of your true essence can be caught best from the truth that you were an excellent and outstanding human being, neighbor, mother, wife, friend, family member, educator, mentor, community servant and tireless warrior in the struggle for equal rights, treatment and opportunities and freedom for all people. This represents a better measure of the person you were and it represents your contribution to the enrichment and betterment of the lives of all the people around you and all the people who came in contact with you.
Both you and dad were pious and wise. You both taught us how to know love and the truth, to internalize these values and manifest them in word and deed in our lives. Although you both were spiritual, you were the full embodiment of spirituality in your words and actions. A small glimpse of your spirituality appears in the truth of the statement that you repeated to us often, that is, we are first and foremost spiritual beings having a human experience. You shared with us your understanding of what it meant to be spiritual and you would say to us frequently that we are intelligent, thinking beings and we create our world with our thoughts. If you want a positive outcome think positive. You knew without a doubt that a person’s spirit survives the body’s physical death and lives on forever, continuing to play a positive role in the lives of family members and friends.
Another glimpse of the nature and character of your person can be seen in your pursuit of knowledge. The evidence of your pursuit of knowledge can be seen in the extensive book collection that you amassed. This book collection covered your bedroom and downstairs walls on shelves that ran from the floor to the ceiling. Your book collection shows the depth of your devotion to reading and wanting to know more about everything and wanting to share that knowledge about everything with others. I will cherish always and miss the lively discussions that you and I had about everything you read and your crafty way of drawing a person into a discussion about what you read by saying: “I just want you to read this short passage that I have enclosed in brackets on this page in this book and after you read it, I want you to tell me what you think about it. Here son, you are a lawyer, it shouldn’t take you long to read it.”
Then I would find myself, three hours later wondering how did I get caught up into a discussion that started with a short passage in a book and morphed into a discussion about politics, local, national and international events; spirituality; health and fitness. However, because the transition from one topic to the other changed so subtly, I found it hard to remember how we got to the point we were at in the discussion. It also made it hard to end the discussion because our exchanges were thought provoking. I will hold dear also the exchanges we had where we had different perspective about a topic of discussion. To this day, I have to admit you were a better human being than I, because you held the belief that you should help a person, even if they tell you they don’t want your help. My position remains unchanged; I honor a person’s wishes. If they refuse my help, I take them at their word.
Even though your consciousness no longer resides in the body and mind you inhabited, I know the truth that you live on within all of us because we have become what you taught us. You taught all of your children and your lineal descendants such as your grandchildren and great-grandchildren that you can do and be anything you want to do or be, just give it your undivided attention. You would also say to all of us, whatever you start you must finish; don’t start something if you are not going to finish it. Also you taught us to strive to do our very best in everything we do and that to excel and to be the very best that you can be, you must never stop preparing yourself to be the best and to do that you must never stop learning. Your passion for collecting and reading books to be better informed and to better inform others epitomize your advice to never stop learning.
Finally, you always had kind words of encouragement and a hug for us when the going got rough or the challenge seemed too great to succeed. You taught us that to love; be truthful and honest; maintain our integrity and a cool demeanor; be healthy and fit; constantly improve yourself; strive for greatness; have high standards; hug everyone; read constantly; get married; raise your children, foster family unity, perform community service; be politicized, vote in every election; know the political issues, stay abreast of current and world affairs, travel the world, be fearless and courageous, struggle for human dignity and civil rights, fight for justice, fairness, equality and freedom; stand for what is right and decent and help your fellow human being even if they refuse your help.
Because of what you and dad did with your lives, I can say truly that I knew two great human beings. However, yours and dad’s greatness was eclipsed only by the humility, benevolence and compassion you exhibited towards others. I will remember forever your all-embracing hug; smothering love and your enchanting, captivating, delightful, charming, lovely, attractive, appealing, engaging, winning, disarming and irresistible smile. I look forward to the new experience that is you. I love you.
Your son, Kevin