"I cant believe a year has passed since ive touched u, looked into ur beautiful blue eyes, heard ur voice, or just smelled ur sent im jus dieing so slowly inside until the day god decides to bring me home..son I cant understand y you had to go so soon u wud be turning jist 21 next month and ur n the best place ever in im being selffish when I say this but I wished u were still here with ur baby with me with all of us but in the same sense I wudnt want u to be here living in the cruel and hateful world but damn it I need you I miss you I love you I want to jist hold you n tell u how much I am so sorry I wished and prayed to god he wud let me take ur place...right now at this time last year I was holding you in my arms begging for god to please give you back n take me I was holding u so tight that I thought I cud put my life in ur body in u wud come back n I could go in ir place but when I was at the feet of the all mighty n holding the most precious hand ever tell him I cant let you go alone I was coming with you u need ur momma and he didnt meed me at the moment cus I guess ur baby n brother n sisters needed me and he let my hand go and gave my life back then was when I come back to realize my face was so far buried into ur neck and reality smacked the shit out of me when I realized my baby my child is in the hands of god that u were gone in I then kissed ur beautiful face all over in looked into ur eyes in told u how much I love u and just wanted to give up just wanted it all to be a dream and it werent real but it was. in the pain emptiness, the deep deep to no end pain hit hard so very hard when I had to let u go and leave u there never to see hear touch smell or anything again in this lifetime...from then I havent been able to breath right my heart stops often and I just die in hurt so much so deep I try to understand that god had his reasons in were not suspose to question that but it jist so hard when u carry a child for 9mths give them the dirst breath of life have them for 19 years an in the blink of am eye their gone never to return again is just the worst feelings ever for a human soil to have to endure it a pain that never eases or will ever go away until god decides to take me home....I love u n miss u soo deeply in so does ur son until we meet again baby rest easy fly high with the angels....love for eternity Mom"

It really hurts me to see your mom like this.But I know she's a strong women and will make it thru this. Its sad you were becoming such a good man for your child, it hurts to know God took u at that time. Life can be unfair.. very unfair.. but we will all see you again one day. Until then, Travis.. Until then.