On August 15, 1965 (a Sunday afternoon), I met Alexander James Hines, unmistakably Buddy to his friends, on the Virginia Union University campus. We were checking into our dormitory. Our friendship grew as we navigated our way through required courses. We were both English majors. It was during our stay at college that I was blessed with Alexander's first display of generosity.
During the tumultuous week of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s assassination and our school closing, we were compelled to return home. He suggested we ride the Greyhound to New Jersey; he was going to Camden and I to Atlantic City. When we arrived in Philadelphia, his family (parents and little siblings) welcomed us. He insisted I spend the night at his house and then travel on the next morning. He and his family provided a comfort I never forgot.
After college, our teaching days began, with our being renunited at Camden High School. His generosity resumed by having me as a guest, actually part of his family, in his own home, not matter which one. Besides the sharing of Charles' and his home with me, he casually counseled me about one situation or another, making sense and banter about some of the scenarios.
When we visited San Francisco one summer before we moved here, we knew we had to leave Camden so we could breathe freely. It was a milestone for us which had no regrettable notions. His generosity continued as I remained a presence in their home, especially when we were neighbors on the same street. But the grandest public display of his generosity was when he and Charles celebrated their 25th Anniversary. They invited me and a host of family and friends to share that elegant evening with them. This was a special night for them but for me too because I felt honored.
Feeling this honor has been the threadbare through our relationship, going on for almost half a century. I thank him for blessing me with a friendship that can be compared to a forever status. My heart is heavy in missing him, but it's grateful for memories it holds-- some of which I shared here. Alexander, God Bless you and thank you. I love you.
always best,
william
Mr. Hines was my 11th grade english teacher at Camden High School. I was a relentless bookworm, and Mr. Hines did everything in his power to affirm and encourage that in me. What a wonderful gift of affirmation and caring at an awkward time in life when fitting in, rather than being different felt so important.
I will never forget the day I walked into class and he matter-of-factly placed a small plastic bag on my desk. Obviously, there was a book inside; Selected Poetry of Lord Byron. Wow! My teenage heart leapt, and in true nerdy girl fashion I know I let out a silly gasp. I had no cool to blow, and yet I instantly wanted to hide under the desk as my display drew more negative attention than I could stand. Without missing a beat Mr. Hines threw a withering backward glance at my taunting classmates, and proceeded to share some tidbit I have long since forgotten about Lord Byron, and his thought that I should savor, rather than tear through this book the way I tended to do with so many others.
Many years later I had the opportunity to present a paper at a scholarly conference on the particular kind of friendship dear mentors cultivate with their charges. I certainly had Mr. Hines in mind then. He was then and will always be someone who helped me begin to know and embrace my true self. There is no greater gift one human being can share with another. What a gift from God he was and what an endless blessing his memory will bestow.
