The Day You Came

Part 3 of I Carried You, I Hold You Beyond Loss. If you missed the 2 part – read it first. Carrying You Through Uncertainty

The day you came into this world was not simple.

It was not the kind of moment that unfolds easily or gently. It was long, exhausting and uncertain in ways I had not fully prepared for.

Labour stretched beyond what I had expected.

Time began to feel different slow, heavy, almost suspended. My body was pushed beyond comfort and my mind was already carrying so much even before that moment began. It was not just a physical experience; it was emotional, mental and overwhelming all at once.

I remember feeling tired in a way that went deeper than the body.

But even through all of that you came.

And in that moment, something shifted.

You were here.

But almost immediately, there were signs that things were not as expected.

There were concerns that could not be ignored. Questions that did not yet have clear answers. A quiet understanding that this journey was not going to be as straightforward as I had once hoped.

Instead of settling into what I thought motherhood would look like, I found myself stepping into something unfamiliar.

Something uncertain.

Something that required me to adjust quickly, without fully understanding what I was stepping into.

Looking back, I can see how that moment marked the beginning of a different kind of motherhood for me.

Not one defined by ease or predictability, but one shaped by resilience, attention and learning in real time.

Even in that uncertainty, one thing remained clear:

You were mine.

And I was yours.

I did not have all the answers.

I did not fully understand what lay ahead.

But I knew that whatever this journey was going to be: I would walk through it with you.

Thokozile Kadango is a grief advocate who focuses on supporting people through loss by sharing compassionate reflections, lived-experience insights, and guidance on emotional healing. You can visit her Facebook page.