Grief Strategies That Allow You To Be Alive While Grieving

Grieving is a deeply personal experience, and while it can feel overwhelming, there are grief strategies that help you feel fully alive even while carrying loss. The amazing Nick Kemp says, “You are just one thought away from a good feeling.” These strategies are designed to help you genuinely feel better—not just fake it.

1. Find the Grief Strategies That Work Best for You

Everyone’s grief is different. Experiment with different coping strategies to find what truly helps you. There will be moments when giving in to sorrow feels easier than using a strategy—but choosing methods that bring relief can slowly become a habit that nurtures you.

2. Show Up: A Key Grief Strategy

One of the hardest parts of grief is re-engaging with life. Push yourself to show up where life is happening, even if you don’t feel like it. By showing up, you give yourself the opportunity to shift from self-pity to connection, joy, and meaning.

3. Shift Your Focus: Grief Strategies for Positive Moments

Emotions are like small children—they demand attention. Allocate time to fully feel your sadness or anger, then intentionally focus on things that bring you joy or satisfaction. Surround yourself with uplifting images, memories, and experiences to help balance your grief.

4. Roll Your Memories Backwards to Heal Grief

This technique, often used for PTSD, involves recalling happy memories from before a traumatic event. Instead of thinking only of loss, focus on joyful moments with your loved one. Revisiting these memories can bring comfort, connection, and strength.

5. Feel Your Grief, Then Return to the Present

A simple technique: look down or close your eyes to fully experience your grief for a few seconds, then open your eyes and re-engage with the present. Paying attention to the sights, sounds, and details around you helps anchor you in the moment while still honoring your emotions.

6. Help Someone Else: An Effective Grief Strategy

Helping others shifts focus away from your own grief and gives your life meaning. Acts of kindness, volunteer work, or supporting fellow grievers can provide perspective and healing.

7. Ask Yourself “And What Else?” and “And Who Else Am I?” to Expand Your Grief Strategy Toolkit

Expand your self-definition beyond grief. Keep asking questions that uncover layers of your identity, strengths, and interests. This practice helps you recognize your complexity and resilience, even in the midst of sorrow.

8. Be Aware of the World Around You: Mindful Grief Strategies

Grief can trap you inside your mind. Practicing mindfulness and noticing the small details in your surroundings helps you reconnect with life. Simple tasks, like washing your hands, can become grounding experiences when approached with attention.

9. Explore Healing Activities: Grief Strategies That Work

Books, meditation, journaling, painting, hypnosis tapes, poetry, and support groups are all tools to help you process grief. Find the activities that resonate with you and make them a part of your routine.

10. Share With Others Who Understand: Social Grief Strategies

Connecting with people who empathize with your experience can be deeply healing. Sharing your story and learning from others’ experiences provides support, perspective, and a sense of community.

11. Be Imperfect: A Compassionate Grief Strategy

There is no perfect way to grieve. Embrace imperfection, allow yourself mistakes, and understand that doing your best in difficult moments is enough.

12. Be Gentle With Yourself: The Most Important Grief Strategy

Grief is real, complex, and often contradictory. You can feel sadness and joy simultaneously. By nurturing yourself with compassion, you allow yourself to experience life fully, even while carrying loss.

Final Thoughts on Grief Strategies

Grief is not about “getting over it”—it’s about learning to be alive alongside it. By experimenting with strategies, showing up for life, helping others, and practicing self-compassion, you can find moments of genuine joy and connection. Wherever you are in your journey, remember: you are doing a brilliant job.

For more insights on navigating grief and meaningful conversations, check out my previous article: ‘What Does ‘How Are You’ Mean?’ and visit the Grief Support page at the Grief Speaks Out.