Reasons We Need to Talk About Baby Loss

Around the world, mothers and fathers are experiencing the pain and loss of miscarriage and stillbirth every day. Though it is an all-too-common experience, the stigma surrounding pregnancy loss means it is often shrouded in silence.

Grief, in general, is often seen as a subject to be avoided. When parents are grieving the loss of a baby, the silence is magnified. This undoubtedly contributes to the common feelings of shame and guilt many women – and men – experience after losing a child to miscarriage or stillbirth. Below are four reasons we need to break the silence surrounding baby loss.

2. Many Losses Are Preventable.

Around the world, women have access to incredibly varied prenatal care. In many developing countries, they may not see a doctor at all, while in developed countries the level of care may vary depending upon socioeconomic status. When women are better educated about pregnancy and have access to medical professionals throughout pregnancy, more babies can be born healthy. If this issue remains taboo, it is more difficult to change cultural norms regarding women’s prenatal healthcare.

3. Many Losses Are NOT Preventable.

So many women feel guilt after a baby loss because a high number of these losses aren’t explainable by doctors. One in four women will experience miscarriage or stillbirth. Many times there is nothing they could have done differently to change the outcome. In these instances, women tend to blame themselves for lifestyle choices they believe contributed to their loss, even when there’s truly nothing they could have done to change the outcome. These women need and deserve support and empathy as they grieve. They need to feel heard – and they need to hear that it wasn’t their fault.

4. Openly Grieving Can Promote Healing.

In all cases of grief, the ability to openly and honestly share your feelings – whatever they may be – is an important part of the grief journey. Allowing friends and family members to understand the emotions behind baby loss allows for them to validate those emotions, which can help a grieving mother or father move toward a place of healing and peace. There is, perhaps, no better gift to give someone experiencing baby loss than to continue asking how they’re doing and to not be afraid to mention their child.

Baby loss is a tragically common experience around the world. It is a loss that does not discriminate. Regardless of culture, education, age, or socioeconomic status, this type of loss causes feelings of guilt and shame, while remaining a taboo subject. When family and friends aren’t willing to openly discuss a baby loss, silence acts as an added layer of struggle during an already difficult time. Getting out of our comfort zones and discussing baby loss is important for each individual parent experiencing this tragedy. It can also make a difference in alleviating this common loss around the world.