What does grief feel like? Real perspectives on loss, healing, and remembering

Grief doesn’t look or feel the same for everyone. It can bring sadness, anger, numbness, loneliness, unexpected moments of joy, and everything in between.

To better understand the many ways people experience and navigate grief, we asked people who have experienced loss or support others through it to share their perspectives.

How can friends and family support someone who is grieving without making them feel pressured to move on?

LaKisha Mosley shares:

“Support them by staying present, not by trying to rush them toward ‘better.’ Check in, say their loved one’s name, listen when they want to talk, and don’t put a timeline on their grief.

You don’t have to fix it. You just have to make it safe for them to feel it.”

LaKisha’s perspective highlights something that can be difficult for loved ones to understand: grief doesn’t have a timeline. Sometimes the most meaningful support isn’t finding the right words or trying to make someone feel better, but simply being there and allowing them to grieve at their own pace.

After experiencing such profound losses, what has helped you continue finding moments of joy while still honoring and caring for the memory of those you have lost?

Charla Bocchicchio shares:

As a recent widow, as well as a mother who lost her only child 10 years ago, I am definitely no stranger to loss and grief.

I would say the most important thing for me in dealing with these profound losses has been total radical acceptance. I can’t change the fact that they’re gone; I can only control how I move forward without them.

The grief isn’t easy and at times I feel like I’m drowning, but knowing that everything is temporary helps me a great deal. In those moments when I feel like I’m underwater, I know that I won’t feel like that forever. But then, on the other hand, I accept that when I’m laughing and having a wonderful time with friends and experiencing joy, that feeling won’t last forever either.

If I can live fully in every moment, good or bad, then I can survive and even find joy now and then.

I find myself talking to them all the time. I feel them around me and know that their love didn’t die when they did.

Different experiences, different paths through grief

There is no single way to grieve, and there is no single way to carry someone’s memory forward.

For some, support means having someone simply stay present without trying to “fix” the pain. For others, healing means accepting the reality of the loss while allowing themselves to experience joy again.

You can grieve deeply and still laugh. You can miss someone and still live fully. And finding moments of happiness doesn’t mean you have forgotten the person you lost.

Share Your Story

Grief can feel lonely, but your experience may help someone else feel less alone.

What has helped you navigate grief? What would you want someone who is grieving to know?