I miss you every day Dad. Sometimes a memory can pop up and it takes me back to that day.. all the fun we had. It's like the breath was sucked right out of my throat, and I could barely breathe..bc I miss you so freaking much Dad. It's a painful feeling. Today that memory is our first trip with you, and mom to Macados. I have every day memories with you that I'll forever cherish. Enough to last me through this lifetime. I was not there the final day, and I have no regrets on that. People can talk shit about it but they don't understand me, you always did. My last memory is of talking to you on the phone the very day before, and your last words were I love you. I couldn't handle watching you slip away, I didn't want that as my last memory. I can't handle it mentally. You knew, and I didn't have to be there for the final moment because I showed you love every single day. If it was your choice you wouldn't have wanted anyone to see you that way. You were surrounded by love from others though. I got to see you every day, and talk to you...and now there's a void of not having you here with us. I was never prepared. I realize you knew your time was coming... You started doing different special things, and you always, always made sure I was okay. I'm really glad I got to make you proud before leaving this Earth. I know you're up there watching over us. I feel you every day in some way.. simple signs, little taps, and even your cologne. What I wouldn't give to have a hug! Meet me with one, when my time comes. I love you soo sooo so much Dad.