20 March 2015

My Friends,

It is once again a little funny to use social media for a “life update”, but that’s what we essentially do every day, isn’t it? And it is truly a blessing to me to HAVE to use this medium, as I cannot possibly count the number of cities, states, and countries from which I have been touched by all of you.

It also seems a little cliché to include a music video with this note. Naturally there are thousands of songs and videos that can apply to any one of us at any given time in our lives. That’s the beauty of music. I lost my music for a while; no surprise. If you know me well, that’s a pretty big deal. I’ve gotten it back, mostly. I teach again. I dance again. I cook and clean and drive to music again. You have done that for me. 

These last several months have brought so many things to the table for me, and all of us. Our own mortality, for one. Mine wasn’t so much mortality, but that my perfect world wasn’t so perfect anymore. But that’s just it, you see. I’ve also realized that it’s still perfect, just a different perfect now and not as much. And boy, have I learned a lot. A lot about Charlie (all ridiculously good, of course), a lot about my children (that they are better and stronger than a mother could ever imagine or hope for), and tons about myself naturally. And I learned that I have literally thousands of people who have blanketed me with their love and support. More importantly, my children, grandchildren and mother-in-law have all been surrounded as well. 

Everyone always asks, “why does it take someone to die for something good to happen?”. Why do we wait to say the things we assume our loved ones already know, until it’s too late? No idea really. But it does. Good or bad, it does.  Maybe it’s God’s way of helping us through the agony and heartbreak of our sudden loss. So I choose to embrace those good things...things like “I love you” and “I’ve missed you”, and “I’m sorry for that stupid thing I said or did”. Re-acquaintances, misunderstandings cleared up, and old hurts healed. What does it matter why they came about? Better late than never, right? Charlie is still “doing his thing.” Making us all just a little better because he’s still in our hearts.

And it is clear that I still have much to do in this big, beautiful world. Charlie was needed elsewhere, but I’m to do and learn and love and teach and see so much more right here. It’s certainly not the way I had planned or would have wanted, but it is His plan. I need all of you, and you all (at least some of you, I hope...) still need me.

I’m still heavy. I fear – and accept – that I will be heavy forever, but the heaviness will get lighter and a little less frequent. The sadness still bowls over me, at the most unexpected and inconvenient times, but it feels a little cleansing after it’s passed. You have done that for me. You’ve all supported and encouraged me each time a photo or comment has been posted, and your private notes have been most welcome.

The fog has cleared enough for me to take a few steps forward make some positive decisions for myself and my life. Again, that is thanks to you all. Many – if not most – of you know already that I am finally ready to leave VA. It’s time for me, and as much as I have a few folks here that I could never in my life be without, I need to start fresh and begin to heal, so that I may continue to be a good mom to my kids, a loyal friend to you all, and a rock star to my grandkids. On that note, as it is clearly no surprise to most of you, I will be heading back to southern California, in just a few short weeks actually.  I’ve got a home, a job, friends, and a plan. I’m a little nervous, but not that much really. I’m definitely ready to breathe again. 

After this I feel like I could write a book, unfortunately. Who knows...it might be fun.


With all my love and gratitude,
Kathy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=581yPGdaJ0s

Charley was one of the best men I ever worked for, served with, and met. He lived his life with integrity, honor, humility, and humanity. I am proud to call him a friend. His family and the Nation have lost a great man.

My wife and I would like to offer our sincere condolences to the family of Colonel Charles Dowling. Only yesterday we learned of his passing, and it took us both aback. We first met him in 2008 while on Marine Security Guard duty in Kigali, Rwanda where he came to into our home, played with our children, and expressed his sincere appreciation for the support of military families. Also, while visiting in Pretoria, South Africa he and his wife Kathy graciously hosted our family for dinner, where they spoke highly of their children and couldn’t wait to reunite with them – about how they were so proud of their accomplishments. 

In my 18+ years in the Marine Corps, he was without a doubt THE best Commanding Officer I ever served with. He provided me guidance and mentorship on a number of levels, most importantly with regard to leadership and interaction between the officer and enlisted relationships.  I credit him with much of my personal and professional development as a Marine leader. Overall, I cannot say enough positive things about the man. Unfortunately, the last time my wife and I saw him was at my re-enlistment ceremony in 2013, when I asked him to preside over the ceremony. As the best Commanding Officer I ever had, I couldn’t think of anyone I would have rather been there
. 
We are proud to say we knew Charlie Dowling. He was a wonderful, hard-working, friendly, and genuine Marine leader, father, husband, and friend. And again, we would like to wish our most sincere condolences to the family of a man who will be missed and remembered fondly forever. 

James & Anna Maxwell

My sincere condolences to the family and friends of Col. Charles Dowling. Word of his passing has only just reached me and my heart goes out to his family. Although our paths haven't crossed in many years, Charlie was the kind of person you knew you could always count on. Honest, loyal, respectful, humble, loving, kind.... he was a wonderful man and will be missed. I'd like to share something he wrote in 1984. "We are in the future with nothing but memories of the past, to carry us on till next we see each other again." Semper Fi my friend!

Col Dowling will be sorely missed. He had a profound impact on my career as 2ndLt and it continues to this day. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Dowling family.

I am shocked and saddened to learn of Charlie's passing. I was fortunate to be a BCOC Classmate, IIIMEF/PACOM colleague, Samae San BOQ roommate, and fellow 4th MARDIV I&I, and I will always cherish my memories of Charlie. What a classy, humble, and fun-loving guy! He was the consummate Marine professional in perfect balance with being the loving father and husband we should all aspire to be. The world needs more Charlie Dowlings. God Bless the Dowling family.

Thinking of you all on this day honoring Colonel Dowling....

Remembering Charlie today on his internment at Arlington National Cemetery. RIP

Charlie, you will be missed. I truly enjoyed working through the Schneiops with you and the rest of our BCOC class. Your calm leadership and professionalism were something I will never forget. Semper Fi.

Just heard. Still comprehending. Another damn good Marine reporting for duty upstairs. For all you U of R Marines: "Father" Dowling was an inspiration. One of the best men I have ever known. Our paths crossed again in Afghanistan..few years back...and it was if the years since rochester melted away. There was the same Marine I knew and respected. That same smile. That same chuckle. See you later Chuck..we got lots to share.

Praying for the family. I went to Manchester High School with Charlie. He was a GREAT guy!!! I have not spoken to him since we left school but he is still part of our MRHA Class of '84 Family!!!! Semper Fi my friend.

Col Dowling, Sir,

You mentored me and I wasn't even one of your comm Marines. That's just the kind of leader you were. I'll always remember you for that. Fair winds and following seas good sir, you are among Angels now.

Most respectfully,
Kevin

Chris and I were saddened to hear about Charlie's passing. While we only knew Charlie a short while, he embraced us like old friends. He will be greatly missed. Our heartfelt condolences go out to Kathy and their children.

I had the pleasure of serving with Col Dowling on Okinawa when he was a Captian. I had a lot of respect for him. To the Dowling family, sorry for you loss. RIP brother, Semper Fi.

November 15, 2014 (from Kathy)


Dear Friends and Family, new and old, near and far...and to those I haven’t met or actually remember...

As I sit here quietly in my home made lovingly for two and try to grasp and comprehend the last two weeks of my life, I am clearly unable to do either. I will not delve into my emptiness and heartbreak here in a public forum; some of you unfortunately know, and some of you will hopefully never know.

Rather I want to express my gratitude – which is an insufficient word – for all of you who have reached out with love and warmth and prayers, flowers and food and pumpkin decorations, cards and phone calls and stories (so many stories!). My children and I have been nourished by all of it and feel a tremendous comfort by you.

My husband, who was one of the most low-key and annoyingly humble people I know, would be floored and slightly mortified at this outpouring. Mind you, he would fully expect the care of me and my children, but the love and praise displayed for him would be overwhelming. I tried to tell him over and over that he wasn’t “just a guy”, but of course that didn’t go over well. I am biased, as you all know.

From grammar and high school friends, to family both distant and close who said he was “always the good one”, to civilians and active duty whose path he crossed, to the Marines all over this beautiful planet... Words like “I met him once”, “he gave me the best ass-chewing I ever got”, “he got ‘dad’ on me”, “mentor”, “father-figure”, “loyal friend”, “he made me want to be a better _____ (pick any word)”. These are what will help to carry me forward.

I am grateful to all of you for me and my children. I am grateful to you for Charlie’s mom. She has suffered something no mother should ever have to, with “her baby”, the good one. Most of all, though, I am eternally grateful to all of you, for my grandchildren. Many of you had to suffer through the stories and escapades of these two wee ones. Every time he got a new picture, you had to look at the proud grandfather. Thanks to you all, they will always know and always feel the scope of the man they call Poppy.

I am truly sorry for each and every one of you as well. My shattered heart goes out to you, who have also lost a friend, comrade, brother, mentor, uncle, cousin, father and son. You all struggle to grasp the same shock and disbelief as I do. I pray that your healing is swift, and secretly hope that some of you will continue to live by “what would Charlie do”. That’s pretty cool.

I still can't see straight, and breathing is still hard, and I don't know what tomorrow will bring, but I know with all my heart that you all have been instrumental in keeping my family and me loved and comforted during this time. With a humbled and broken heart, as well as inept words...thank you.


In love,
Kathy

Kathy:
It is impossible to believe that someone with so much life, energy and goodness has been taken away. Charlie left an indelible impression on us through his integrity, leadership and joy. We're sending love to you and the kids. Don and Liz Gips

Charlie was a great Marine, leader and friend who I've known since TBS- 1991. He will be deeply missed. My thoughts and prayers are with the Dowling family and with the many Marines and families that Charlie touched & inspired along the way. Godspeed.

"My sincere condolences during this very difficult time. I have thought of all of you since hearing about Charlie. Charlie and I grew up together in our small town until we graduated HS. I was fortunate to run into him again when he was recruiting and I was working in Paterson. That day I will hold close to my heart. He was an extraordinary human being filled with so much kindness. It breaks my heart to know he's gone, but feel blessed to have memories of him. My prayers will always be with you...Kathy, Shannon, Charlie Jr., Charlie's family and Charlie's Marine Family....God Bless"

Charlie touched a lot of lives. His mentorship, friendship, and professionalism can be seen in many young Marines that continue to grace our Corps today. His passing was untimely and all too short for the precious few years we have on this earth. 

Cathy you held one of the precious gems of our time. Mary and I send you our most humble condolences...please know that you, your family, and Charlie are in our prayers.

I have been trying to figure out what to write here since I found out. I was/still am in shock. Since I met your family in Ohio (back in the awkward jr high/early high school years), you have all been one of the warmest, most caring families I have had the privilege of being around. I want you all to know that I am here if you ever need anything. Col Dowling was/still is a huge role model for me. He is the definition of what an officer should strive to be and more importantly what a man should be. I have had many great memories with him, be it in Cinci and him having to put up with the hurricane that was Charlie, Jordan and me; in Jordan's and my first trip to Europe and going to Garmish, which to this day is still one of the most memorable places I have ever been; or just a few months ago, when we all went fishing then sat around the fire and were coerced by some little girl to play songs from Frozen over and over on his iPad. I can tell he has made a huge impact in many people's lives and I am lucky to have had him and the rest of you in my life. Thank you for everything, he will be missed. Semper Fidelis.

Cathy,
      It’s taken me awhile to write something as every time I started it became obvious that words cannot begin to address Charlie’s loss. As I re-read the posts I realized that they’re not so much about loss as they are about celebrating a life cut short, but so full of love, so giving and so well lived. Charlie Junior and Shannon ~ I thought James Lucas summed your Dad up best when he said, simply, “He was the model of a man”, he was, no better way to say it. As we go through life, we have role models we try to emulate, and for the many of us who went to school with him, he was our role model.  He taught us little things about the Marine Corps that seemed important at the time, but through his example he taught us more important life lessons; to be a good man, to look after others, to live and love fully and unconditionally. Beyond USMC memories, I’ll always remember his unbridled love for your mom, how he cradled Shannon in his strong arms in Rochester and his pride in both of you. Time will pass, the load of this seemingly unbearable loss will become part of who you are, who we are. We’ll honor him by trying to uphold his example. When you’re ready, when you can, don’t be afraid to live life like he would have wanted you to, with joy and passion. Your family of Rochester Marines will always be with you to share his laughter and memory.  Semper Fidelis, Matt McLaughlin

My sincere condolences to Kathy, Shannon and Charlie. I was truly shocked to hear the news of your husband/fathers passing. I am truly sorry for your family’s loss. I had the pleasure of serving with then LtCol Dowling in Pretoria, South Africa in 2009 and 2010 while serving as a Marine Security Guard. Charles was a great Marine and father and husband. I wish him nothing but peace. I wish your family nothing but love and comfort. God bless. Semper Fidelis, SSgt Kevin M Alfonso.

I was Colonel Dowling's (Lt Dowling at the time) driver when he was my comm officer at HQ Co. 3rd Battalion, 10th Marines in 1993. He played a big role in shaping me as a young Marine at the time and left me with life long leadership skills that have served me well. The overwhelming response on this tribute page is no surprise. I want to say thank you for being such a great leader, Marine, and no doubt a great father and husband. My condolences go out to your family. I know you will be missed.

Sgt David Lovelace
USMC 1992 - 1997

I had the pleasure and privledge of serving under then 1st Lt Dowling at camp Lejeune in the early 1990's. He was the best platoon commander i ever had and taught me lessons that I still apply to my professional and personal life everyday. He took a personal interest in every Marine under his command and wanted you to be successful and that made you feel like a real part of the team. Fair winds and following seas devil dog......

We are truly saddened to learn about your son Charlie's passing. What an accomplished Marine he was serving his country with such honor and dedication. God Bless you and your beautiful family. With Love, Marian Salmanowitz and Family

Sir,
I had the pleasure of working closely with you and your team the past 18 months and I considered it a tremendous blessing. Thank you for allowing me to help you advance the state of our MOS and taking care of me like I was one of your Marines. I pray for your loved ones and all those you impacted, including me, during this time. S/F, Johnney

PS- If anyone knows if the family has any wishes for donations made in Charlie's honor, I would appreciate that info being sent my way.

"Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Everything remains as it was.
The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no sorrow in your tone.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again."

May there be peace in your hearts knowing that Col. Dowling knew the Lord and impacted the lives of so many of us with his bear hugs and belly laughter.

To the Dowling Family and all others touched in one way or another by “Charlie” : You have my deepest and sincere condolences. 
The world is a lesser place without you. Thank you for your service. "Non sibi sed patriae", God’s Speed. With Much Respect and Love, Your cousin: Tim

I have very fond memories of Charlie from our school years in Haledon. Although, we lost touch after graduation, I have never forgotten about him. If you have been fortunate enough to have him touch your life, then, you already know this. It is apparent from those beautiful photos that Charlie went on to live his life as a testament to the person he was. My heart goes out to his family in their time of need. May God Bless You With Eternal Peace.

I only met Charlie after he joined Marine Forces Command. In that short period of time, I was impressed by his professionalism and love for the Marine Corps. I was also struck by his optimism, vigor and the sense that he had a happy, full heart. God bless and keep his family.

My deepest condolences to Kathy and the family. Charlie was a rare breed of Mustang & Gentleman. A true professional who could always be counted on to accomplish whatever mission came his way. He is already missed by those of us who served with him. Semper Fidelis

My sincere condolences to Kathy, Charlie and Shannon. I was saddened to hear the news about Charlie. I graduated High School with Charlie and often wondered about him. May you somehow find peace and comfort in the days ahead. May God wrap his arms around you and your family.  Please know that Charlie was loved by many. Lisa Bacon (Van Dolan)

Sincere condolences to Charlie's wife, children, grandchildren, and family. Charlie and I went to grammar and high school together. He was a sweet, funny guy! Reading through all of these tributes, it's clear to see what an exemplary man and Marine he was. Thank you for your service Colonel Dowling!

Thank you Charlie for your dedicated service to our country. You were a great soldier, husband and father. Just the few times we have met, I knew you were a special person. I pray for your family that God will see them through this ordeal. Heaven is a better place since God called you home. Semper Fi !

Kathy and family, may this song offer you strength and hope.

THE HURT AND THE HEALER by Mercy me
 (audio posted also)

Why?
The question that is never far away
The healing doesn't come from being explained
Jesus please don't let this go in vain
You're all I have, all that remains

So here I am, what's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I'm alive, even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

Breathe...
Sometimes I feel it's all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through

So here I am, what's left of me
Where glory meets my suffering

I'm alive, even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide

I first met Charlie in 1997 when he was the Platoon Commander for Command and Control Systems School Support Platoon. Charlie played a pivotal role in the leadership I would develop and the Marine I would become. He thrust responsibility on me, and would encourage me to apply for Marine Security Guard School when I had my heart set on becoming a D.I. After graduation from MSG school and regularly throughout the rest of my career, I would write Charlie and thank him for his guidance and encouragement, working in the embassies would greatly form the Marine I would become as well as decisions and career paths that I continue to make. I will miss you Sir, and will visit on my next trip to Arlington. Semper Fidelis.

Thank you Charlie for being a great mentor and a great Marine. You will be missed.

To the family of Charles - I'm an old friend of Charles and we were both MSG's in Pretoria back in 1986-87 and just learned and am very sorry for your loss and back in those days he was a new and young Cpl and was just picked up for the officer program and didn't stay with our detachment very long but I knew he'd do great things and from the comments above, influenced a many people. We only recently became reacquainted and am sorry I won't have the opportunity to shake his hand again. A great man and he'll be missed.

REST IN PEACE, BROTHER

It's with an incredible feeling of loss for our Marine Corps family that I learned the news that a fellow Parris Island mustang died suddenly. Like me he was a radio tech who became a CommO. He also had Marine Security Guard time as both enlisted and officer.

He was an incredible man and a Marine of great character. In the brief time we served together at 10th Marines he taught me volumes about how to be a fair, level-headed platoon commander who got his hands dirty.

While a Marine through and through, I don't think he'd be angry for me to say that the iconic leader in the series Band of Brothers, Army MAJ Richard Winters, reminded me of Charlie Dowling in his speech, leadership style, and care for his men.

Please keep his wonderful bride Kathy Gibson Dowling and his children in your prayers.

Charlie, you made a difference...Semper Fi, and 7 for 1!

Saipan 10 sends...

John Payne, Jr.
LtCol (Ret)
U.S. Marine Corps

Sir,

You were truly a great Marine and person heavens gates are fearlessly guarded by a true Marine'. Semper Fi and rest in peace.

Kathy,

Linda and I send our deepest condolences at Charlie's sudden passing, and we thank you for sharing him with the family of Marines that you both have so richly blessed, particularly the Blue Diamond team where we were fortunate enough to meet, serve with, and call you friends.

The consummate professional Officer of Marines - that is Charlie's legacy - his passion for the mission and for his Marines evident in everything he undertook. Hopefully all Marines can say they had a leader who invested in them, cared for them, pushed them to their potential like I witnessed Charlie do with his exceptional team at the Blue Diamond G-6!

I also witnessed how much Charlie loved and adored you and your beautiful family. Everyone should have the blessing of someone who loves them as fiercely as Charlie loved you all. 

I struggle to understand how someone so fit, strong, and meticulous can pass this suddenly and my heart breaks for you. But, I am comforted that in all of this - God is with us, perhaps never moreso than we are broken hearted. 'The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.' Psalm 34:18.

We love you and your family, Kathy, and we pray God's peace and comfort for you in this time. 

Sincerely,
Bob and Linda Hagan

Mr. D.
You were a father figure to me in Okinawa growing up. I regret not seeing you more and staying in your company. You influenced my career decisions and were a role model I looked up to and greatly respected. I will miss you Dad.

Kathy,

I was stunned by the news of the loss of your wonderful husband. Please know that you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers.
May you be sustained by the memory of Charlie during this incomprehensible time.

love, Susan and John

I’m incredibly saddened to hear about the loss of this great Marine. Col Dowling was the single biggest reason I was commissioned. He and my wife pinned on my 2ndLt bars back in 1998 and he’s been a mentor an inspiration for me throughout my career. I feel lucky to have known him. My thoughts and prayers are with Kathy and the family.

To the extended Dowling family,
We will always know Charlie as a great Marine, a great CommO and a great example of how to live life.
We pray for your solace and comfort in this difficult time.
Semper fidelis,
LtCol Brian O'Keefe, USMC (ret) and family

The biggest smile, the bestest hugs..... an inner spirit and strength that leaves footprints on so many of us. I will salute you with a glass of 'tea' and pray for comfort that will be hard to find to those you leave behind. Gone too soon, but never ever forgotten. We love you.

It was a pleasure to have known such a great warrior. Col. Dowling was there for my family with the passing of my father. He was such a great mentor, and had such a wonderful spirit. We always looked up to you. We know your looking down on all of your Marines, and all the people whom your helped along the way. Thank you for everything!! You will be missed.

Brother Charlie, May God's angel speed you to heaven. Prayers for you and your family from Chaplain Watters Council and Rappahannock Assembly.

There Goes My Hero...

Being the step-child in the family was not easy, but, for some reason, the "Two Charlie's" looked out for me. That meant Uncle Charlie, who also left us too soon, and my cousin Charlie, our uncle's namesake. You're lucky to have just one angel on your shoulder. I had two.

My cousin was my hero when I was a kid. He had a motorcycle! What's more, he exposed me to amazing music, like Queen, Elton John and KISS (I'd forgive him for the latter, later;). I'll never forget sneaking downstairs to watch "Don Kirschner's Rock Concert" on Saturday nights, when we were supposed to be asleep.

I'll never forget the weekends I spent with Ronnie, Maryanne, Charlie, Julie and Cathy, when my parents weren't getting along. The fact that they took me in during those times speaks volumes for the quality of their mettle.

I'll never forget Charlie speaking at his father's funeral, because I could not figure out how he pulled it off. He was so strong, even then. And he managed to be hilarious, all while keeping it together. He killed, comedically, while he must've been hurting beyond belief inside. To say he was a rock would be to undersell him.

Unfortunately, we fell out of touch, as we grew older. Recently, I started to try to reconnect with him and then received news of his passing. All I can offer is that, when someone that special arrives in your life, hold on as long as you can and don't take it for granted.

Semper Fidelis.

Michael Dowling
dowing1@comcast.net
862.220.0681

Dear Charlie, It is with sadness in our hearts that we say goodbye to you, a fine man, loving husband and father and special soldier. We admired your strength and perseverance and were proud to know you. You and your family will always have a special place in our hearts. Until we meet again.