WOW, WOULD SHE HATE THIS.
I THINK SHE LIVED TO 97 BECAUSE SHE COULDN’T BEAR THE THOUGHT OF HER FAMILY HAVING TO GO THROUGH THIS.
SEEING THIS, THE SADNESS IN HER FAMLILIES FACES, THIS WOULD HAVE REALLY DONE HER IN.
I WANT TO TALK ABOUT ABE LINCLON. TWO YEARS AGO WHEN MY SON ERIC HAD HIS BAR MITZVAH HE WAS PRACTICING HIS SPEECH, PART OF WHICH HE TALKED ABOUT HIS GRANDFATHER, MY FATHER-IN LAW WHO HAD PASSED AWAY THE YEAR BEFORE.
DURING HIS PRACTICE HE STRUGGLED TO GET THROUGH HIS SPEECH AT THE MENTION OF HIS ZEIDE. I SUGGESTED HE REPLACE THE MENTION OF HIS ZEIDE WITH ABE LINCOLN . HE PRACTICED MANY TIMES AND WAS ABLE TO GET THROUGH HIS SPEECH EVEN THE PART ABOUT ABE LINCLON.
SO TODAY, I TOO AM NOT SURE I CAN GET THROUGH THIS. SO IF YOU WILL ENDULGE ME, I’M GOING TO TRY TO USE MY OWN ADVICE AND TALK ABOUT AN AMAZING WOMAN WHO MEANS SO MUCH TO SO MANY PEOPLE, ABE LINCLON.
SEVERAL YEARS AGO AS I WAS DRIVING ABE HOME, SHE AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT WHAT WE BOTH WANTED TO ACHIEVE OR DO IN THE FUTURE.
I RAMBLED ON AND ON, AS SHE LISTENED. THEN I TURNED TO HER AND ASKED HER WHAT SHE WANTED TO STILL DO.
SHE WAS VERY CLEAR, “ THER ISN’T ANOTHER COUNTRY I NEED TO VISIT, NOT ANOTHER THING I NEED TO BUY. I HAVE REALLY ACHIEVED EVERYTHING I WANTED, I HAVE A WONDERFUL FAMILY, I’VE HAD A VERY BLESSED LIFE….
THIS WAS WAY TOO SERIOUS OF A COMMENT SO I PRODED HER, ‘OH COME ON THERE MUST BE SOMETHING’. SHE GRABBED MY ARM AND TOLD ME NOT TO BE SAD WHEN SHE IS GONE…SHE QUICKLY ADDED…ON HER FISHING TRIP, I DON’T WANT PEOPLE TO BE SAD WHEN I GO…. ON MY FISHING TRIP.
NOT REALLY LOVING THE DIRECTION OF OUR CONVERSATION, I QUICKLY AND SARCASTICALLY RESPONED, OH, OK MIMI, NO PROBLEM I WONT BE SAD, AND I’LL TELL EVERYONE ELSE NOT TO BE SAD TOO. SO THERE YOU GO, IVE HELD ON TO THAT FOR SEVERAL YEARS NOW, SO, AS PROMISED “DON’T BE SAD”.
WHERE DOES ONE EVEN BEGIN TO TALK ABOUT AN INDIVIDUAL WHO HAS BEEN SUCH AN INFLUENCE ON YOUR LIFE AND WHO YOU ARE AS A PERSON.
REALLY, WHERE DO YOU START?, WHERE DO YOU END?
WELL HOW ABOUT STARTING WITH A LIST OF RANDOM THOUGHTS:
HER SMILE WHEN WE WALKED IN A ROOM,
THE PRIDE SHE FELT AT HER KIDS SUCCESSES
HER SOFT HANDS
BEING OUR SECURITY BLANKET
OUR GRANDMOTHER
YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE A SOULMATE TO ME, AND I’M SURE OTHERS AS WELL. I’M NOT SURE I CAN EXPLAIN WHY.
YOU ARE OUR FRIEND
WE LOVE YOU WITH ALL OUR HEARTS.
TO MY COUSINS:
WE WERE GIVEN A REAL GIFT.
THERE ARE MANY WORLD LEADERS AND HERO’S WHO ARE WRITTEN ABOUT IN HISTORY BOOKS, WHOM MOVIES ARE MADE FOR THEIR CONTRIBUTIONS TO HUMANITY, THEIR SELFLESSNESS. MIMI WILL NEVER BE WRITTEN ABOUT IN HISTORY BOOKS, NO MOVIES WILL BE MADE OF HER LIFE STORY, HOWEVER, HER IMPACT ON SO MANY OF US IS EQUALLY AS IMPORTANT.
WE WERE GIVEN A GIFT. A GIFT THAT MONEY COULD NEVER BUY, A GIFT THAT IS HARD TO EXPLAIN AND DESCRIBE, IT MAY BE HARD FOR OTHERS TO UNDERSTAND. TO THER PERSON WHO CASUALLY KNEW HER, THEY MAY NEVER KNOW OR UNDERSTAND WHAT A GIFT SHE WAS; TO THE COMMUNITY, TO NAMELESS INDIVIDUALS, TO US.
BUT WE KNOW, AND WE UNDERSTAND. WE MAY NOT BE ABLE TO PUT INTO WORDS THE KIND OF PERSON SHE WAS, BUT WE UNDERSTAND. IT IS NOW OUR JOB, OUR RESPONSIBILITY, OUR PRIVILEGE TO ENSURE THAT OUR CHILDREN, AND OUR CHILDRENS CHILDREN KNOW AND UNDERSTAND HER GIFTS. THOUGH THEY MAY NEVER MEET HER, THEY MUST KNOW MIMI.
LOOK, …I’VE DREADED THIS DAY FOR OVER 20 YEARS.
I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT,.., HOW I WILL BEAR THE PAIN, HOW I WILL BREATH, I HAVE ALSO THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT WOULD BE SAID.
IT ALWAYS BOTHERED ME THAT WONDERFUL THINGS ARE SAID ABOUT SOMEONE WHEN THEY ARE GONE.
SEVERAL YEARS AGO (MAYBE MORE THAN TEN YEARS AGO), ABE WAS RECEIVING AN AWARD ALONG WITH MY UNLCLE BOBBY AND MY COUSIN LISA, HONESTLY, I DON’T REMEMBER FOR WHAT PROBABLY A FUND RAISER FOR A JEWISH CASUE.
I WAS ASKED TO SPEAK, SO I SELFISHLY TOOK THE OPPORTUNITY FOR HER TO HEAR WHAT MIGHT BE SAID, WHEN THIS DAY CAME. I SAVED THIS ON MY COMPUTER’S DESKTOP, FOR THIS DAY.
HERE IS WHAT SHE HEARD.
They tell me Papa Leo (who passed away 43 years ago), was a brilliant man, a great businessman. As far as I see it the greatest testament to his brilliance and the best deal he ever made was choosing my grandmother for a wife. She is the center of our family, the center of our universe.
Mimi has an unusual ability to connect with people of all ages, races, religions, and socio-economic status. It is not uncommon to see her pretending to call Dr. Pitken when her great-grandchildren get a booboo, or playing pinchy-pinchy hentala, or advising her daughter-in-laws which outfit to wear, or being sought out for advice by her children and grandchildren before making any major decisions like; should I marry him or her?, or what house to buy? or which job to take? This is not to say she is perfect, or that people don’t annoy her, she won’t go back to see several of her doctors because they are nerds.
She is often seen getting a hug from the people who clear the trays from the tables at Beachwood place.
I remember going to the old Corky and Lenny’s at cedar center and the older waitresses there were always a bit.. crabby. At the end of our meal Mimi would always leave a big tip. One time I asked her why she always left such a big tip to these crabby, rude waitresses. She said these women were working very hard and she was so fortunate and lucky in life to be able to be served at the table instead of waiting on it.
My speech continued..
Several years ago our family put together a family favorite wisdom book. I would like to share a few excerpts from Mimi’s words of wisdom:
Don’t hold a grudge and be angry. It will age you sooner than you would like. Don’t worry about your spouse doing things for you. Do as much as you can for them. Pick your friends based on who they are, not what they have. Nobody will look out for you like your family. If your kids have no place to go on a Saturday night, cancel your plans, but don’t tell them you did, and just be there in case they don’t want to be alone. Smile at everyone and pretend you know who they are. If you want to receive respect, give it, but give it to everybody. It is difficult to receive respect if you don’t act like a lady or a gentleman. Everyone has goals in his or her life, and in his or her professions and they work hard to achieve them. I have achieved what I want to do in my life. I have raised a great family. My children are not jealous of each other and they look out for each other. The honesty, integrity, unselfishness, looking out for one another, and being respected by everyone in the community. How could I ask for anything else in my life? I hope you will all raise your family the same way.
I have often likened Mimi to the Shel Silverstein book the giving tree. She is our tree.
She doesn’t have any advance degrees but we really have learned more from this woman than any university, graduate school, residency, fellowship or any doctoral thesis could have ever taught us.
Mimi, thank you. thank you for being who you are, thank you for being our teacher, thank you for being able to ensure that the solid morals, Jewish values and importance of family are a part of who your children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren are today, thank you for being the backbone of our family, our confidant, our advisor, thank you for being the best listner I have ever known, thank you for the smile every single time we walk in the room, thank you for making each one of us feel like we are really the most important thing, thank you for boosting our confidence by telling us we are soooo good looking, and thank you for being our friend. We love you more than you will ever know…. Well that’s not true, she knew exactly how we all felt about her… and for that I am forever grateful.
GOOD LUCK ON YOUR FISHING TRIP MY FRIEND, UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN.
