3 days shy of your 22nd birthday, July 3rd, and your life flashes before me constantly. I will forever carry you in my heart and memory. You are with me in spirit in all I do for the addiction and recovery community. You are my reason...love always, Mom

It may seem as if you were a short time visitor to my world, but you will always have an everlasting place in my mind. Your present brought joy and laughter to all it touched. To watch you catch your first fish on an lone pond in the foot hills of the Shenndoahs, to roasting marshmellows at warm fire side. Peace be with your spirit and love will stay in mine.

Facebook chat: Last week I taught yoga to teachers and students at South Lakes and I also taught to 100 Thomas Jefferson students too -HP works in mysterious ways! hugs!.May 7, 2012 10:51 pm
Chris: hah nice i would like to do something like that helping out students at south lakes would be rewarding!
I miss you and I think about you Chris with a big smile!

I'm off to the Rappahannock to do my first solo camping trip in tribute to you my dear Buddy Boo. I will think of the time you spent doing your solo in Utah and all of the many weeks you spent in the wilderness program working hard and being healthy. You are with me in spirit. Love, Mama

From Ashley Taylor: "...I am so thankful that I had the chance to know such a great person for the past eight years. No one could make me laugh the way Chris did. He was the most hilarious, crazy, adorable, loving guy I have ever met..." (see full Tribute in "Stories")

Sputnik - There are lots of ways you can get involved. First of all, keep taking care of yourself! We need you in this movement that has already begun and will only grow further due to Christopher's death. If you haven't friended me on FB, please do. My FB (I'm in Reston, VA) is dedicated to information and research to help in your sobriety. :) Hugs.

Hi I'm a recovering addict, my name is Sputnik and I'm really struggling with a feeling of hopelessness and what seems like a totally unmanageable life. Help?

Dear Sputnik, my son felt exactly the same way. Even though I lost Chris to addiction, I feel totally unqualified to answer your questions. I hope you have someone in your recovery who you can truly trust to help you stay clean & a physician who leaves no stone unturned. All I can do here is to say don't give up the fight & feel free to email me: atwoodfreaks@gmail.com

I have a new sponsor that I'm excited to work with as he has a background in psychology. I also have a therapist who has been turning over the stones in my life. I thought I'd message here because it seems that our Chris' passing has stirred a movement and I hear a lot of good stuff, and I'm wondering how I can get involved.

In tribute to you, my son, I spent the day researching events and contacting people that can change the world we live in for future children who suffer from addiction and often mental illness. What I have discovered takes my breath away, as does your death. I wish you were here to help me - http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/342545630/the-anonymous-people

Boo, in your short life you did all of these to varying degrees (a popular greeting card): live with intention. walk to the edge. listen hard. practice wellness. play with abandon. laugh. choose with no regret. continue to learn. appreciate your friends. do what you love. live as if this is all there is. - mary anne radmacher  p.s. I think "walk to the edge" was your favorite. xoxo Mama

Hey Boo, Another typical weekend without you. I set up a bank acct for your Fdt with Omid from Afghanistan, very fitting, and he cared about your story. We "Blues" have to make a connection, no? Went to Whole Foods after training your friend LC today. The clerks were talking about Mother F Day, I shared your story. One of the guys said, "Chris?!" Of course, he knew you from LH...

By Deborah Stull (from AA meetings): "Last thing I talked to him [Chris] about was a parody video on YouTube of a guy dancing to Shakira's "She Wolf". The video is titled "He Wolf" by Andrew Foster. I thought the guy looked similar and had the same lovable humor." Thanks Deborah for the laugh, add about 30#'s of muscle to Andrew and it could be Chris. - Anne

I want you to know everyday somebody thinks of you and misses you, you were truly an incredible person unlike anyone else I have ever or will ever meet. I wish you were still on this earth but I know you are making people happy elsewhere, and you are truly happy too. I always think of what elise's dad said, "Here today, gone to-maui"

Hey Boo . . . I think most of us are doing this these days: "Everytime i scroll through my contacts and pass your name i wish there was something i could have done" - anonymous message left on your cellphone today. (Remember the 3C's: I didn't cause it, I can't control it, I can't cure it.)

Dear John (a.k.a. Pappy's mailman), I am truly touched by your tribute - a testament to my Dad, Carl Thoburn, and my son, Christopher -- two very good people who reached out to others every chance they could, two guys who loved to laugh, play pranks and go for the drama. My son was lucky to have a grandfather he adored. I gain strength through your words. Bless you, Anne

Ann-  I am your Dads Mailman- and while I didnt know Chris, I know how much he is loved and missed. I lost my Dad at 18, and thought "what could I have done" a million times. I dont have any answers, but I know that your Dad is a true Christian, and a true Person. I dont know why bad things happen to good people, but I believe one day, we will get the answers. Stay strong for him.

Boo - I was alone at the hospital with you on Friday, 2/22. My dear "brothers", Russ and Stan, had made it to your bedside before I had returned from a brief break. It was almost midnight and I was in a fog. Russ handed me a blank journal and pen. Two days later, Spencer Brothers, your dear "brother", wrote in this journal. (See Stories)

Tribute from your cousin Eowyn: "Some of my favorite memories of Boo are of him and me spinning Anika and Ema as fast as we could through the air. This would happen at any given family gathering. We would hold them tight and scream and shout and laugh while the girls shrieked in delight. xoxo Eowyn"

From Timothy Gear (a friend from way back), March 2, 2013:
"I love and miss you my brother. The world is a lonelier place without you. I will never forget your smile, rest in peace."

(Timothy made the first contribution to CAF)

From Rachel Albright in the guestbook 3/2/13: "I met Chris two summers ago in the back of Spencer's SUV and we hit it off right away...I never spent a moment with Chris where I didn't think he was one of the greatest people I had ever met. You raised an INCREDIBLE, smart, funny, poignant young man." (full tribute from Rachel in Stories)

I danced on a Friday when the sky turned black. It's hard to dance with the devil on your back. They buried my body & they thought I'd gone, but I am the Dance & I still go on! Dance then, wherever you may be. I am the Lord of the Dance, said He! And I'll lead you all, wherever you may be... (The Lord of the Dance by Sydney Carter)

Thinking of you a lot today, I miss that toothy grin of yours. Wish you could be here to say cheer up, throw me over your shoulder, and laugh ridiculously. Love you christopher.

From Colleen Dyer (guestbook 3/1&2): "Within seconds of meeting THE Chris Atwood, I knew I would never forget him. Pure energy was bursting out of his veins...I love Chris more than words can express...He puts skin on Christ for me, and I love him." (I've posted Colleen's full tribute in the story section. Thanks "Colloween"! - AA)

I keep thinking about all the times we would drive around, and you would sit in the passenger seat as I played that song "Ashley" by the Dodos and you would sing along mockingly in the creepiest yet sweetest voice "ashhhhhhleeeeeyyyy." You always knew how to make me smile, I miss you terribly, you silly chris.

One of your very first boy-band favs was Newsboys. Youtube's "Newsboys-Shine" doesn't do the song justice -- but you would. "Shine, make 'em wonder what you've got, make them wish that they were not on the outside looking bored. Shine, let it shine before all men. Let them see good works and then let 'em glorify the Lord."

Boo's favorite poem in Jr. High at Langston Hughes (by LH himself):
Hold fast to dreams, For if dreams die, Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly. Hold fast to dreams, For when dreams go, Life is a barren field, Frozen with snow.

Hey Boo, I just watched a replay of your memorial service while 4 dogs romped around me :)~. I sat mesmerized at the tributes left to you by Spencer Brothers, Bill Ketchum, your dad, your sister, Allison Byers, Ty Lovitt and Manly. I watched as so many filled the church and lingered to say goodbye to you. I have never met someone so loved as you, my son. You were larger than life.

Christopher it has been three weeks since you said goodbye to us. I know you are safe in the arms of Jesus, your savior.If you had known Christopher you would have liked him for his wonderful smile & friendship. Christopher I wish you were here to give me more bear hugs, but I know you wouldn't want to leave where you are now. Every time I sit in my chair i am reminded of your hugs. Pappy

Don't listen to Elton John's CD Love Songs when you are grieving the loss of your son to depression/addiction. :) Hey Boo, I want my Elton John Live in Australia CD back!

"I-i-i-l-l-l--b-e-e-e---r-i-i-i-g-h-t--h-e-r-e..." 

- E.T.

Hey Boo, I’ve got your favorite shrimp & steaks. Wish you could join me. I’ve taken lots of walks with our dogs, retracing your steps.  I do see and feel you in everything, especially nature – the dancing flurries swirling in the air the day of your service, the breathtaking sunrises & sunsets just outside my door on the golf course ...

...and the majestic trees that grace south Reston where you spent much of your time growing up. I just saw the first bat of the coming spring season darting through the sky over the 2nd tee of Reston National. Thanks for reminding me that you are still here. Love you, Mama

Chris, I visit this site everyday and when I am not on this site I am on your facebook, you would laugh at me and call me a stalker I know. It's hard to say or even comprehend how much I miss you and how much I think of you. I hope where ever you are, that you are happy. And that one day I will see your smiling face again:) I love you very much.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

My Boo, I conceived of you even before you were conceived. I carried you in my body for 9 months (minus one week, bless you child as 1991 was brutally hot even in May). You were everything I hoped for, dreamed of and wanted ... and then some. I never wanted to leave your side but you were so intense that I knew I needed help...

...so I enlisted the help of my church. Thank God for Mrs. Cross & Mrs. Patch. You felt life so deeply even as a toddler! But you were strong. You taught me that life doesn't always give you what you want but it sure as heck gives you what you need. And so we struggled together. You were my soul mate even then. School was a bit overwhelming even as a 5 year old...

...so I left you in the hands of Mrs. Smith, Annie Cooper and your beloved 1st grade teacher, your Nana, and you thrived. You also met Nick at the same private school shortly thereafter. You both saw the absurdity of life around you and the b.s. that so many tried to send your way. The two of you would have none of that ...

...and you continued to grow and flourish in Reston along with the Ivy Bush gang (a bunch of young boys, not the drug gangs that passed through and had the police constantly patroling). You thrived at Terraset Elementary in Reston in 5th & 6th grade, winning the 6th grade graduation dance by your enthusiasm & energy alone (I've got it forever on film)...

...ah, and then came middle school at Langston Hughes (your favorite poet at the time & mine too). I remember my years as well, a push pull from parents, peers, emotions & hormones. You were no longer willing to submit to your mother's plans for you - sports, healthy activities, family. Fair enough because you were growing into your own person...

... and even with the "H" missing from your school sign and police contacting me for petty stuff that in your Pappy's time he got away with, I still saw how magnificent you were. You were so vibrant, loving, nurturing, sensitive...ah, my Boo. But I was also growing very tired. In my helplessness, I started relying on others for support. But I soon found we were all in the same boat...

You have such an amazing family, Chris. It is rare to see such strength at a time like this, but I know where it comes from. I am certain that it was a blessing to many to hear the tributes that your mom, dad, sister and friend paid to you at your memorial service. You are truly an amazing person and brought so much laughter and love into this world. May you be at peace.

I offer my condolences.

one time at ihop chris and two other people decided it would be a good idea to take a shot of syrup, very hot syrup i might add, and he was the only one to finish it out of the three

One time walking home from school we cut through the golf course like usual it was snowing and we walked by one of those "golf holes" I think it's called it he yells out I need to take a shit! this looks like a good spot so pulls down his pants and tries to take a dump in the hole he ends up missing it and poops next to it he pulls up his pants and yells it looks like a candy cane!

It saddens me deeply to know that you have left us, Chris. But you lived enough for 1,000 men while you were on this earth those short 21 years. You were such an amazing, hilarious, caring, and wild guy and I am so sorry you are no longer with us. Reston will never be the same without you. I will never forget you. Love you, Chris.

The deep pain that is felt at the death of every friendly soul arises from the feeling that there is in every individual something which is inexpressible, peculiar to him alone, and is, therefore, absolutely and irretrievably lost. 
- Arthur Schopenhauer
May you rest in peace, free from pain.

Tom and I remember well our dinners with Anne and Chris. How many teenage boys would allow their mothers to take them to dinner with two people old enough to be their grandparents? Chris invariably livened up the evening with his wry sense of humor and clever comments! Chris was dear to us and we will miss him. May he rest in peace.

Chris, I will never forget all of the times you've made my family and I laugh, all the times we've spent together, and all of the ridiculous things you've done to me. You are truly one of a kind, without a doubt irreplaceable. You were (and are) loved more than you will ever know. You've impacted many, and your soul lives on. Rest peacefully, and happily. I love you.

"No matter what, God Loves you, And I love you." Thank you for those words Chris, i'm happy to have (unfortunately) missed your call that time, therefore those words will forever remain in my voicemail. Your care and love for others will never be forgotten.