ForeverMissed
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This memorial website was created in memory of our beloved father, Dean Dellinger, born on   February 12, 1929 and passed away at 85, on May 30, 2014. We will love and treasure him forever.

Memorial Service for DEAN MILTON DELLINGER was held on
July 12, 2014 at Grace Evangelical Lutheran Church, in Rialto, CA.

In honor of Dean's numerous years of teaching music from elementary school to college level, there was a mini-concert of a brass quartet with the memorial service immediately following. A reception followed with a light lunch.

Inurnment and committal service for
BARBARA LOU & DEAN MILTON DELLINGER was held on July 13, 2014 at 
Mt. Calvary Lutheran Church, Lake Arrowhead, CA.

Barbara and Dean are together again for their eternal heavenly life.

The Family thanks all of the friends and family who attended the services, your presence made them both wonderful, joyous, touching and memorable events. It is so fitting that both Mom and Dad's  journey has ended where they spent so much of their love and life!


Daughter Denice joined mom & dad in paradise on 12/19/2014, after a long, valiant, and courageous fight with lung cancer.

The Family requests that you please share your special photo memories of Dean in your lives! Kindly compress the photos for "Web Page" to maximize the web sites interactive speed. Also please add your thoughts and memories for all to share and enjoy!

As you visit this site please enjoy some of the music Dean made possible all his life!

Tributes are short messages commemorating Dean, or an expression of support to his closest family and friends. Leave your first tribute here, and others will follow.

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Recent Tributes
May 30, 2023
May 30, 2023
Kawai and I were just talking about Dean the other day, not realizing it was so close to the anniversary of Dean's heavenly homecoming. Becky and Allan, you are in our prayers. We are all the richer having had your dad in our lives. We love you!
May 30, 2023
May 30, 2023
My name is Diane Uecker and I just found this and it brought tears to my eyes. I grew up in the San Bernadino Mts, at least till the age of 12 when my parents moved to Washington State. My family knew the Dellingers, Dean & Barb were a truly wonderful couple as were their 3 children, Allan, Denise & Becky. My brother Steve took music lessons from Denise and later trumpet from Dean, he thought so highly of both of them. I am the youngest but I remember Dean & Barb putting together the Christmas program at Mt. Calvery Lutheran Church. My mom & dad where very good friends with Dean & Barb we spent many great evenings & afternoons at their house and them at ours. Long story short I have nothing but great memories of Dean and his whole family. My parents Don & Arlene passed away, Dad in March of 2016 & Mom in Jan 2017, I miss them dearly , & I know they would have been saddened by Deans passing. I wish nothing but peace & God's love to the family & I pray that the kids are all well and enjoying life as grandparents. God's Blessings to you all!
May 30, 2023
May 30, 2023
His memory forever eternal my new office is next to band room every day listening to the students brings joy to my heart so blessed to have had such an amazing teacher
Recent stories

Memorial Service Beginning of Service

July 18, 2014

Memories of My First Music Teacher

July 10, 2014

I registered for choir in 1978. Never been in a choir and no formal singing experience. It was the year that Mr. Dellinger stated was the largest class he has ever had to audition. There was no way to excuse all of those 12-14 year olds for a private auditionl. So in front of the entire class, Dean went from row by row, asking one person at a time to state their name and musical range. There were only 4 boys including me auditioning. All I heard from girl to girl was, "soprano,...soprano,...alto,...soprano, etc." So when it was my turn, I blurted out, "Soprano!" Mr. Dellinger didn't laugh or snicker. He just had this beaming smile on his face. In that distinct, commanding voice of his, he asked me to follow the piano while he played various major scales in various pitches. Eventually he figured out that I was in fact,...a baritone.

Although he was only 49 years old at the time (then he seemed 60's to me) he didn't put us down for the music style that we were interested in. He was always encouraging our musical development. In fact, he even allowed me to back up the choir playing guitar for the song, "Here Comes That Rainy Day Feeling Again" by The Fortunes. At least he let us sing a song from that same decade.

Due to this mutual respect for music, we sort of started appreciating Mr. Dellinger's  jazz background. One day, Dean decided to introduce us to improvisational singing, called "scat." As he played a standard jazz I-IV-V progression, he allowed anyone from class to come up and try to scat a solo. Like always, he was so encouraging. We all had fun and never felt like we were being judged or made fun of no matter how silly or nonsensical our phrasing was. 

About 4 years later, I saw Dean play in a jazz quartet with my then High School Jazz Band instructor, JIm Gibford. I didn't hone my jazz playing skills until college. But if I had that ability sooner, I would have loved to sit in with Dean just to play some Joe Pass riffs and Tommy Tedesco fills. 

I can only imagine how much Mr. Dellinger enriched those lives of those around him. He was a safe room in those insecure awkward years of middle school. He was such a positive roll model. I will always be able to hear his voice in my head. Nobody else could use that voice to command the attention of such a large class with a limited attention span. I am so proud to call him my first music teacher. And what a great first music teacher to have learned from.

 

"You Rat"

July 9, 2014

One of my fondest nicknames was unceremoniously bestowed upon me by Dean:  He called me "You Rat".  Though, by no means, does it seems like a name that ought to be cherished.... But it, and the the story behind it, is.  

I have been lucky enough to be employed at Mt. San Jacinto College in the Music Department for nearly 20 years.  Before I was employed there, I was a student... and Dean was my music instuctor.  As a trumpet player, Dean taught me the finer points of brass playing:  Saxes are always out of tune, so always blame them; clarinet players can't hold a beat to save their lives; trombone players are always "almost" as good as trumpet players (at least they're brass players); etc. etc... the finer points of being a musician.  I also played trumpet with Dean in the college's Golden Eagles Big Bands.  Thus, he and I formed a wonderful relationship.

While working at in the Music Department one morning, I decided I should go in to the orchestra room and say good morning to Dean before his first student of the day arrived.  When I walked in, Dean was nowhere to be seen... but there, sitting alone on its stand was his cherished Bach Stradivarius trumpet.  That horn was practically everything to him... and it called my name.  It said, "Dave... use me to play a joke on Dean."  Well, that's kind of a low-blow thing to do to a fellow (highly respected) trumpet player.  But, he broke rule number-one:  Never, ever leave your trumpet unattended (a sax player might think it's some type of vacuum... or something).  "Dean should know better", was my rational as I quickly went back to my office and grabbed a soda straw from my desk (why I had a straw in my desk, I can't remember... it may have been a plan to use it to protect myself from Ted Herman...).

Anyhow, I took that straw back to Dean's trumpet.  I removed his mouthpiece, stuck the straw into the end of the mouthpiece and fed it down into the trumpet’s lead-pipe.  From the outside, it looked like absolutely nothing was wrong… which was exactly how it should be! However, the next time that trumpet would be played, it would sound like a goat... with a nasty lung infection.

Now… what I expected to happen was this:  Dean would return from where-ever it was he went, grab his trumpet and blow a few notes through it, hear the horrible sound, pull out his mouthpiece and find the straw.  Knowing Dean, he’d know it was me and get a good chuckle out of it.

Here’s what happened instead:

Dean returned from the mailroom.  But, unfortunately for my plan, his first student (a trumpet player) had arrived early.  Thus, Dean did not pick up his horn right away.  Instead, he began the morning’s lesson with the student.  That particular morning’s lesson?  “Tone… How to Produce a Large Round Sound with Your Trumpet.”

About 10 minutes into the lesson, Dean was attempting to tell the student how to open up the mouth, lowering the lip’s armature, and using the lung’s diaphragm to push a large amount of air past the lips and through the horn to produce a fat sound.  His attempt to verbally explain to the student what he (Dean) was looking for didn’t go over well.  So, instead, Dean grabbed his horn, showed the student the placement of his lips on the mouthpiece and how to open the jaw for the fat sound he was looking for.  Dean took in a deep breath… and blew.  The sound that came out was anything but that nice round sound of a professional trumpet player.  Rather, it sounded much more like a goose in the midst of a cat fight. 

Surprised and embarrassed, Dean quickly said, “I’m sorry.  Let me try that again.”  He blew… and the cattle in the ranch across the road from the college began to answer back at him.

Flustered, Dean did what any good trumpet player would do in a situation like that:  he blamed the problem on the horn and began to disassemble the valves... while the student waited.  As each valve came out, he could see they were in their correct order and not turned around.  So, he put them back and gave it another blow, “Squaaaaaakkkthpthpthpthp….”  Out came the valves again.  Nope, everything is in order there.  It must be the slides.  So, he took out the tuning slide, the third-valve slide, the second valve slide and even the first.  All the while, this poor student was trying to figure out if Dean was actually a sax player incognito.

Upon examination, each slide showed there was nothing blocking the flow of air through the horn, so Dean put his trumpet back together.  One more try:  “haaaaaaooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaammmm”.  Well, needless to say, Dean was now getting honestly upset and confused (which… from a sax player’s point-of-view, this is the state-of-mind of all trumpet players!).  Finally, he thought maybe the problem was within the mouthpiece.  So, he twisted the mouthpiece and slowly pulled it out of the lead pipe.  Much to his surprise, out came the straw!  He told me later it was at that moment as he was saying out loud, “What the heck?”,  a little bell went off inside his head:  Dave Parrott.  What the student heard was, “What the hhhh… ooohhh that Rat!”

Dean removed the straw, replaced the mouthpiece, puckered up and blew:  A warm melodious tone filled the room.  In the end, 10 of the 20 minutes of the poor young trumpet student’s lesson time had been used to figure out that Dean had been pranked.  Later, when the lesson was over, Dean grabbed an index card, wrote “You Rat” with a red felt-tip pen on it, and tape that straw to  the card.  He left the card and straw on my desk while I was out running an errand.  When I returned, he told me his side of the story and we laughed until we cried.  Several years afterwards, Dean would still pop into my office and say, “You Rat!”.  It became his endearing way to say how much he appreciated our relationship.

Here it is, twenty years later, and that card is still displayed above my desk.  I use it to remind me of the many wonderful times I had with Dean in my life… and I still laugh when I think about how I became known as “The Rat”.

It’s the most endearing nickname I’ve ever had…

David Parrott, Department Chair, Audio & Video Technology Department, Mt. San Jacinto College

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