Dad it has been 10 days since you left this world, and I still can’t catch my breath.  I’ve been walking around with a hole in my chest because the man I have looked up to all my life is gone.  I keep hoping when I wake up each morning that it’s all a bad dream.  I waited this long to sit down and write how I’m feeling because I knew just how difficult it would be.  I know I promised I wouldn’t cry and I did my very best to do everything you asked before your passing…I hope I didn’t disappoint you.  Daddy you have always been more than my father.  You have been my hero ever since I was a little girl.  You were the strongest man I ever knew…and you still are.  You were the person who taught me to never give up.  You always told me I could do anything.  I am who I am today because of all the love and support you and mom always showed me.  You taught me how to have faith and how to be thankful even when things were bad.  You taught me how to love…which has served me well in my relationships and my marriage.  The love between you and mom was always so special and I will always be grateful for the example.  When I reflect back on our time as father and daughter together, so many special memories come to mind.  I remember science fair projects and help with my homework, you were always so involved and I learned so much from you as I did until the day the Lord called you home.  I remember family vacations (trips to the mountains and to the beach)  I remember curling up on the couch to watch Jeopardy, and as I got older, I cherished our intellectual conversations as much as I did just sitting together having coffee.  You were my very best friend daddy and I miss you so much it hurts.  I know how proud you were when I went to the Naval Academy and how you were just a bit disappointed when I left (the look on your face that day hurt my heart), but I also felt that disappointment turn to pride when you saw me through many of my other academic endeavors and I know God led me to become an RN so that I could be there for you when you needed me just as you had been there nurturing me all my life.  It was the hardest thing I ever had to do…watching my father waste away and not being able to do anything about it other than help him live and die in the fullest and most comfortable way possible.  I am proud to have a father that was so loving, so smart, so giving, and so kind.  He was a role model for so many people including his children.  He loved his grandchildren and I was so happy to have had the opportunity to tell him I would finally be bringing another one of those grandchildren into our family.  That may have been one of the last times I saw my dad’s eyes light up with joy (telling him I was pregnant).  He had always told me that children become the joy of your life as you age and that he hoped Brian and I would have children. I told him we would try.  My only heartbreak comes from knowing my dad won’t get to hold our baby, but I know my father will be looking down from heaven smiling when the time comes.  Daddy, I could go on forever talking to you (as I always did in our father daughter chats), but I know the Lord called you home to rest and it’s okay now…you can rest.  You did so good daddy, so very good.  I’m so proud of you.  I am sorry for all you had to suffer in this life, but I have faith in God’s plan for you, so, as you asked me in your last few days, I will celebrate your life today and all the days I remain on this earth and I will look forward to the day we meet again (in the place with no suffering and no pain).  I will love and take care of the family and I will do my best to make you proud.  I love you daddy.  Your Baby Girl