Good day everyone and thank you for your presence. I am heartbroken by the loss of Earl yet honored to have the opportunity to reflect with you on his life and remember how much richer our lives have been as a result of our relationship with him. 

I would like to open with a reading from the book of Matthew, Chapter 25, verses 32 to 40.















All of the Nations will be gathered in his presence, and he will separate the people as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.
He will place the sheep to his right and the goats to his left.
Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world
For I was hungry, and you fed me.
I was thirsty and you gave me drink.
I was a stranger and you invited me into your home.
I was naked, and you gave me clothing.
I was sick, and you cared for me.
I was in prison, and you visited me.
Then, the RIGHTEOUS ones will reply, “Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink. Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked, and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?
AND THE KING WILL SAY, “I TELL YOU THE TRUTH, WHEN YOU REFUSED TO HELP THE LEAST OF THESE, MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS, YOU WERE REFUSING TO HELP ME!”

We are here today to celebrate the life and the memory of a husband, a brother, an uncle, godfather to my son, and a true friend, Earl Eugene Lee.  

When Earl suffered his stroke three years ago, his life changed dramatically. Earl was a very active guy. Up at the crack of dawn every morning.  Two or three hours working on his yard. His yard is one of the best in the neighborhood. In for a shower and breakfast and then into his precious convertible with his favorite cassette in the player, Rhapsody in Blue by George Gershwin, and off to explore Myrtle Beach. His knowledge of the history and growth of Myrtle Beach could have made him a spokesman for the Horry County Chamber of Commerce. After his stroke all of that changed and he was trapped in a body that he did not recognize.

A few months ago, Earl and I discussed this day and his funeral. And he asked me if I would deliver his eulogy. I am deeply honored by his request.  In searching for the words to say here, I found the following which I think applies to the Lee family and particularly to the Lee siblings. And I quote, “To the outside world, we all grow old. But not brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share family jokes and stories. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. And we have lived these relationships outside the touch of time.” End of quote. 
Nothing can replace the magic of the relationships among brothers and sisters. So, when I hear those words about
brothers and sisters, I am touched and proud to say that I had that kind of special relationship with Earl.

When I moved here in late December of 2014, I was not in a good place. I was in the middle of a marriage ending, going through a difficult relationship with my son, and leaving a place with friends and family that I loved. Earl became my rock. We spent time together and he helped me through a difficult transition in my life. I identify deeply with those words from Matthew. “I was emotionally HUNGARY, and he gave me emotional support. I was THIRSTY for understanding about how my life had changed, and he gave me an anchor in a new life. I was NAKED, bereft of my friends and he clothed me in new relationships. I was in a PRISON of depression and he lifted me out of it.” So those words in Matthew that talk about a RIGHTEOUS MAN, I found such a man in my brother Earl.

Earl was a stoic and sometimes stubborn person. 
Convinced he could care for his own health, he seldom saw doctors or sought comfort in the traditional places that we may all seek. So, while not a church goer, I found him to be a very righteous person as described in those writings in Matthew.  Nothing illustrates this dichotomy between his religious life and his righteous self, better than an incident three Easters ago. Phoebe and I convinced him to go to an Easter service at a beautiful Methodist Church in Myrtle Beach. We had been to a midnight Christmas Eve service there the first Christmas I was here. I was very impressed with the minister and the homily he delivered that night. Well, the minister did not disappoint on that Easter Sunday. His message was on point and as I listened to the words, I was convinced he was speaking directly to Earl. As we left the service to go out to lunch, I asked Earl, so what did you think of the sermon? He replied, “I don’t know. My hearing aids went out and I missed a great part of his message.”

As I said, Earl was not a deeply religious person but I could relate to you many private conversations we had where we explored our religious upbringing and our mutual grappling with our souls and the afterlife. We both took a different path from the faith we were brought up in, so we shared that conundrum in our lives together. So, when we discussed this day many months ago, I asked him what kind of service he wanted. He told me he wanted a solemn military burial with just a few words and for me to express to you that he did not fear death and that he was at peace with his spiritual self and his soul.



In many ways, Earl’s life is an enigma wrapped in a mystery. And he kept his personal feelings very private. I guess that over the course of the last 5 plus years, I have spent more time with Earl than anyone else, except Phoebe. But his was a full life and a life filled with many experiences.  He often told me, he wanted to do it over again as he was regaling me in stories, as only brothers can talk, of his time in the military, or his business successes, stories from his travels or the many romances in his life. Romances before Phoebe, of course. Once Phoebe entered his life, his heart was filled with love and a new life partner. 


If I may this morning, I would like to share with you some of the many things that we all have come to know about Earl’s life. If Earl were born in this day and time, he would be on a milk carton, the subject of an amber alert, or on one of those bulletin boards you see in Walmart. Earl forged his own path from the very beginning. At age 14, he walked out the front door. Mom asked, “Where are you going?”  “Out”, he replied. Two weeks later, he called Mom and Dad from West Texas, two thousand miles away from Laurinburg. Needless to say, he caused Mom and Dad many sleepless nights. 

At Age 16 or 17, the exact age has always been a matter of dispute in our family, Mom loaded him into the car and went to Rockingham and signed him into the Marines. Mom went to her grave believing she had lied about his age, but I am sure that transgression, if true, was forgiven because that was the turning point in his life. From there he built a life of discipline, hard work and commitment to others. And a desire to make up for some of his youthful transgressions with Mom and Dad. He delighted in spending time with them for the rest of their lives and he visited at every opportunity.







And work became his life. After his military service, he worked for a brief time for Rose’s 5 and 10. A job that our dear brother Ed helped him get. But I don’t think Earl was ever comfortable in such a structured business environment. Earl was a free spirit and the quintessential salesman. First with Delany Foods and then in the women’s apparel business. For years he represented a dress line called Pamela Martin, and of course he was a leading salesman for them. Earl finished his sales career working for Rocky Mountain Orthodontics where he worked for over 15 years. Out of a sales force of 12, he always ranked number 1 or number 2 in productivity. And over the years, he turned down many opportunities for a promotion because he knew he was at his best when he was calling on clients on the road and not stuck in an office.



Other than work, Earl’s life revolved around his beautiful wife, Phoebe, and travel. I think the experiences in the military where he was stationed in North Africa, Italy and London instilled in him a longing to see all of the world. And over the course of many years, He and Phoebe saw much of it. They were among the earliest American tourist in Mainland China. They traveled to Egypt, most of Europe, the South Pacific, and to parts of Canada that few people have seen. Love of travel was an amazing part of his life. And no recounting of his life would be complete without mentioning his love for all things Western. Western Art, Western Movies and Western TV shows.
And all of these experiences made Earl a great storyteller. I could say some key word that I learned over the years that would trigger a story that I had heard before. But he always delighted in the retelling unaware that many of us had heard the story before. And each retelling sometimes added an embellishment that may or may not have been in the original telling. And he could make conversation and friends with total strangers at the drop of a hat, a trait that I believe he got from our Dad. And Earl always delighted in sharing the success of this family. Not just from our generation but through the grandchildren and great grandchildren. He always was so proud of the successes in the family and always said, “I can’t believe we got from there to here.”

Now, I have mentioned Phoebe. Earl and Phoebe have been married for over 50 years. Many of you have heard me insist that Phoebe will get to enjoy a room in heaven that the rest of us will never have the privilege of seeing. While Earl could be a prince of a gentleman, he wasn’t always the easiest person to live with. And because Phoebe endured those periods in their relationship, she will be and amply deserves to be given a special reward in heaven. Her devotion to him over all of those years, and particularly over the last two plus years has been remarkable. Phoebe, we all know that you are exhausted from dealing with this over the past many months. No one could have cared for Earl with more love or better than you did. Now that Earl’s painful struggle has ended, just remember that those we love never leave us. There are memories that you and Earl shared together that death can never erase. 
And Phoebe has a special way of sharing those memories. Last Memorial Day I was moved when she put out a small display of his military career. It included his picture as a young Marine in uniform and his commendations. And on their 50th wedding anniversary, she put out a beautiful collection of pictures from their wedding in Oregon. Pictures I had never seen. And Phoebe has always been this family’s staff photographer. She has every picture she has ever made in photo albums in chronological order. Those photographs have chronicled important milestones in the history of this family. Those are the things that make her a special person and a special member of our family. Our love for her from all of us is unending and please know that we are all here for you anytime you need us.



So, as we put our dear brother, uncle and husband to his final resting place, I would like to share a poem that has special meaning to me.






Sleep, My Brother
I wish you sweet sleep, my brother dear.
Although there’s so much that you’ve left bare
I hate that you had to endure such pain
On my mind, your saddened eyes have left a stain.
I want to know what crossed your mind
Unspoken words you’ve left behind
Undone things we’ll never do
No sharing thoughts you never knew
A peace has fallen upon your head
A taste of sorrow we have been fed
It really is like a hole in our lives
One swiftly dug and carved out by knives.
But I have hope that those sleeping will rise
The Bible says that God will open their eyes.
No suffering, sickness, yes not even pain,
Those who did good, eternal life they’ll gain.
So… sleep on my brother, sleep tight
For now with you the sky is night.
But after night will come daybreak
Therefore, I will wait hoping to see you awake.





Let us Pray
Holy Mystery and Merciful Father, you have many names but the First Epistle of John calls you the most beautiful name of all “LOVE”. The love that we were born of, the love we exist in, and the love we will return to one day. In our faith, you expressed yourself through a Rabbi who embodied that perfect love. A crucified carpenter who had two enduring commandments, “Love thy God and Love thy Neighbor.”
So, as we mourn the death of Earl and thank you for his life, we ask that you look down on us with compassion. Our dear loved one has passed from this life but is not gone forever. Because of your great mercy and LOVE, we are not saying “goodbye” but we are saying “until we meet again.” You have promised that you are near to the broken hearted and close to those who are crushed in spirit, may we find comfort in your presence. Rest our troubled hearts and replace our sadness, and fear, with LOVE. May your arms encircle this family and hide them under your wings in this time of our loss. We offer this prayer in your many names. Amen.