So much has happened since I last wrote you. Our son is a Married man now. he sold his house he has had here in Louisville. and I think I told you about moving to Denver. His wife's name is Natali and she has a daughter Lilly who is the same age as are baby boy James. she is older by 2 months. Matthew bought him a new home. moved his family to Denver July 7th 2018. he was married the day before he was 30, sounds like us, well close anyways, she is 35. and they are working on giving you that grand baby , you always asked him about. I remember he always told you ( Dad, I promise you a grand baby before you die ) I would not dare remind him of that or if he even remembers. well I know he does he turns to you when he is in need he knows your watching out for him. so he is a husband and a daddy to Lilly. Now for Laura, please keep your eye out for baby James. CPS took him away. she had gotten so crazy and I had to report her, she was hurting him mentally. they (cps) took him out of school april 10 2018. now it is July 30th and she does not want him back. and Gloria, myself and Jeanie are trying to get him before he falls through the cracks. we have 15 months I believe from the time was took. at the end of that 15 months he will be gone. has us all a nerves  wreck. Laura has been diagnose with paranoid schizophrenia. and will not take meds that have been gave to her by a DR and won't seek treatment. Matthew Howell is out of the picture he has been gone since 2014. or should i just say out of James's life. Laura , still argues with him over the phone. He did not show up at James 1st court date after he was taken. they sent him a summons, so he has declared at large. that is what Gloria said it was called. I have already tried to get James out of foster care and she said I was not well enough, Gloria gave her info to them last week, and worried they are going to say she is to old. she 68 and still gets around better than me. something puts her down, she does not let it stop her. she pop's right back on it. lol Dad is 78 his age is starting to catch up with him. he still able to do everything , it's just starting to slow him down. They have all been great to me and even had a friend at 1 point that chipped in. I think I already told you about that. am sorry I don't make it out to see you like I promised. i have good use of 1 foot and have to use my walker and it does not go through the cemetery very well. so many holes you can't see if you stepping in 1 last time was when Matthew brought me, and he had to hold on to me tight. I have not made it back to Taylor's in YEARS for the same reason. Jeannie said she would bring me up. she has 1 of those little cars not. Joking she said she will drive through the maze of grave markers and delivery me right to yours. lol we caught so hard imagining us doing that. it would not work so don't think we are going to think up some funny or crazy ideal. there are only walk paths back there. I have a hard time point our stone out from the road. I did not think we were so far back but we are. I know once you die your soul and spirt lifts you up to heaven, and what is left her is a shell of your life. but i believe in remembrance, the person you were the man that i married, and gave birth to our children. i bet this will knock your socks off. Christine is going to be 18 in less than 5 months. she is a senior this year, drives, and works part time. She plans on going to college to be a nurse. Brandon is just starting high school this year and the baby is going to be a 1st grader, i ask him last week if he was going in the 1st grade and he said no. ( 1 ) my self i think he needs another year of kindergarten. he has been or suppose to been on hyper meds Laura would not give him, she did not want her baby on meds. so he could not sit still long enough to learn. that poor baby has had a ruff 6 years of his life, be 7 in January. oh, remember that fatty tumor they took out of my side. and had to open a few times after they took it out. well looks like i got another 1. I went in for the CT scan today. and if it is what the same urgent thinks they are going to have to cut it out. but this time it is in a place i should be able to dress the wound to heal from the inside out. and it is a bit smaller so it should not take so long to heal. Well I love you and still missing you like crazy. we will be back together when my time comes. can't wait to be by your side again.

well the moment you have been waiting for is here, Matthew your son is going to get married May 26th 2018. and it bring a new Granddaughter with it. her name is Lilly and she is 6 the same age as James. She is so sweet. Matthew has fell in Love with her. and she loves Matthew. hope we will get another grand baby soon after. he has his house in KY for sale. he is buying a house in Denver. looks like Denver is going to be his home. ky does not offer any jobs to move up. you would be so proud of him. i know i sure am.

Make heart was broken for the first time last weekend. you weren't my heart broke. you were a loss and heart ripped into. I Love you and need you so much. God giveth god takes away. married till death do us part. the way the world is going we will all be with our loved ones in Heaven. you probably see whats going on. make us a space. I was getting the house mainance up out side. got a set back. so me and Jack are going to get what i had planed out. then this winter i hope to paint or put down new carpet.Guzmo and James has ruined it. and i need to get fit. my walker does not hand gravel. there is no way i could walk with out it anymore.was planning a trip to see Matthew in Denver but i need to get fit. and he might be expecting a lil one. has not been encased yet. but i could tell. morning sickness, etc if she is and has a boy i hope they name him Edward. James is a case. am teaching him to blow kisses. . Laura will want to kill me when he gets this 1 down. see my finger see my thumb see my fist you better run  lol we all miss you very much. Christine says she wished pappy was still here. B Bug is busy doing boy things lol

came and saw you on are wedding day 37 years. I wrote the letter to you that you wanted me to write. I left in your vase. I was going bring flowers but the dollar store does carry them anymore. someone stoled your flag frame.in the spring i',m going to came and going to concert. James is finely in Kindergarten, Christine is a driver and a junior. and B Bug is in middle school.we all miss you

it's getting close to are Anverey. 37 years. am going to try to spend that day with you.. if it's not to hot. the way the weather has been. lol. you taking care of our grandbabie.there are  so many I wish i did this or saying something. if i could go back and change. everything .

it's been close to 2 months since i have wrote you. not that i don't think about you and talk about memory's of ours to anyone who will listen. Matthew is Loving his new job in Denver and he loves living there. He came home for his birthday and Holiday, then he will be back on the 4th of July, then in Sept. then thats the last holiday till Nov. So not sure if he will come in before that. am going out there in Sept or Oct and stay a few days. see the rocky mt . then in the spring returning and were going to Vegas. then next summer CA. you always wanted to take me out west but we never got to. so our son being he lives out that way , I get to travel out there. am sure you had a part in it. wanting me to see it. Father's day is next weekend. you been gone 4 years and still feels like yesterday. Laura, is a basket case. I just pray for her and have my church praying for her. am sure you see what has been going on. she has asked me to help her out with James, let me keep him and help her out but not give me curtsied. which is fine. I just don't know what am going to do when school starts. the buses stop is way down the road and i can barely walk as it is. so we need to think of something we can do to get him on the bus from our home. got a appointment with Dr K today we need to change my meds around. you know how i can take them so long and they stop working good. My Dad is doing well he will be 77 in July. and he still stays at the lake most of the summers. I have not been down there since we went last, so its been over 5 years since i have been down.he has done a lot of work. i would not know the place. well i need to hope in bed but i will be back if not before fathers day i will be back before your birthday on the 30th. Love you Miss you

Well its easter night, alone. went to Dad and Gloria's for easter on Saturday. James is on redline and you would not believe how much he has calmed down. Matthew is in Denver started his new job. Me and Christine plan on going to see him this fall. at church today at church we talked a little about grief. and how Mary must of felt seeing her son nailed to the cross. the world has gone crazy war getting ready to break out. and it is going to be mad. This may be the end of time, it's that bad. Trump is telling other countries that were not going to take any more shit from these other countries. and they don't like it to much. if Obama was a good president it would of never got this bad. you know you were still here and we talked about what he was doing wrong. I voted this year for Trump to keep Hilary out. i had 3 crosses for you for easter but i did not have anyone to bring me up to give them to you. if i could drive i would visit you a lot more. the girls have not been there since we laid you to rest. Christine fells it to soon. Matthew has brought me most of the time. and a friend Debra i went to high school with. Laura has gone crazy hoping she gets in to a doctor and gets some help and on some meds. Gizmo still thinks your in the garage attacks anyone that goes out there. i went out this week because Jake was here. and he bit my ankle trying to go out to the garage, he has also bit Dad, Jake, Matthew, etc. but he won't go out there to see your not here. finding out dogs have memories like us. you know why he does that door, that was the only door you used to go outside. Starting to teach James a little about you, he was only 16 months old but i have a lot of pictures he does not remember just learning him who you were.

Does if ever get better knowing you are gone it feels like yesterday when i loss you. there are so many things i could go back and change.I hope you knew how much i loved you, and how much i miss you. I told you a few months ago i was moving on, well am not things did not work out. i take that as a sign not to move on. we will be together soon . and you are getting things ready for my arrive to be great.

Love you so much and miss you even more.

it's April 1st. tomorrow is Matthews going away party. i keep telling my self am not going to cry. but you know i will. lol you just watch over him, while he is there. I don't know if he will ever live in Kentucky again. the job here you can't move up. he will be with the same company, just in another state. and a large move up the latter. $$$$$$. he handles his money great. just like his daddy did. he owns a home drives a new car. and know debt. if you don't have the money for something you don't buy it. or if he has to he gets a low interest credit card and pays it off with in months. just like you did. you would be so PROUD

Have not wrote you in a while but i still think about everyday. still don't know why god choice you. you had so much more to live for. Matthew is moving to Denver Co. moving up in the company. will be making a lot more $$$$ he went out there this past week. found him and apartment.he leave on April 14th and starts the 17th. he is driving out there. he took a plane this past week. you would be so proud of him.Laura loss her job this pass week. Stephanie is still at the same place. as far as i know. Christine has started driving. she has drove over here a few times. B-Bug is growing like a weed. James is a case, i love him so much. when they were leaving this last time. I went in and james was saying something out the window. i could not hear him he was in the car seat. so Laura motioned me. he was telling to stay right there, ( outside the kitchen door ) so i stood there and that lil fart watched me. once the car was out of site i went in. he is always doing things. so dam cute. i have told you i was going to move on finely. that did not work out. I have gotten in to going to church more. i go sundays,wed,some thursday.

I still cry over you being gone and stay depressed. i know it will be 4 years on May 17th feels like yesterday. you know about me breaking my ankle , and was not by your side as much as i wanted. i was in another nursing home about 7 -8 miles from you. i was not there when you passed over. I had left because the nursing home said i had to be back by midnight. Matthew took me back and not even 30 min later you were gone and i got a phone call from Matthew. were you holding on till i left ? worried it would upset me to much. yes it would of. you have always kept me under your wing to keep me safe no matter what life throw at us.

You took care of me when i was ill, sometimes to good. i took it for granted then you were gone. i hope you know how i did appraise at all you did.theres so many things i can go back and change.

i think this year i will finally get the yard done. i could not take care of all your flowers. am crippled now. am getting a load of dirt. and spread it over whats left. and plant grass.

Well thats it for now i will write about how things are will Matthew living in Denver Co

Happy late Valentines day. i'm so lonely with out you. i never see anyone. I get out once a week and it is for church.you were my everything. i don't cry as much as i use to. it will be 4 years this year, feels like yesterday tho. I don't get to visit you like i want, i have to depend on others to take me out. just because i don't come up there does not mean i don't care. if i could drive i would be up there every month. i found out something new about eastern lily's and hope to be planting you some. i would like to get you a rose bush like your favorite 1 i got you. i need to call about it. and see if it can be in direct sun. I plan on getting some kind of plant that is a year around. watched James last night. he is still as cute as a button. and am close with him like you were. i look forward to seeing him each weekend. Laura is finally away from ass hole. you know who. after being with him 8 years she needs to seek medical help.& get her back on some meds. I have started something new, i have started cooking once a month for the kids. that way i get to see them and spend sometime with them. but not Stephanie she has a hard head like you lol but i do invite her. and Gizmo still thinks you are in the garage lol. everytime some one try's to go in it, from the inside door he bite's ankle's. you can go in and out any other doors but not that garage door. that was the door you always used. and he remembers. it has to be that, he started once you were gone. and still to this day. he still does it. you won't believe this ! oh yes you will it is about Jessie. once you were gone i trusted him and let him in our home thinking he was helping me with things around the house. he stoled my Jewelry you bought me and the penny collection. and other things. oh a lot of DVD's. I thought you trusted him also. being he was coming around. but Matthew told me after that you trusted him a little, knowing he would take stuff when your not looking. it makes me sick he took the jewelry. it can not be replaced, well it can but it does not have the same meaning. you bought that for me that made it special. still in the process of working on the yard. you had a mess under all those plants. i don't have a green thumb like you did. so it all died. now the had part is cleaning it up. might get it done this spring, i hope anyways. well i got to stop for tonight. I Love You and Miss you

Its been a while, but i have been thinking of you as always. and alone. my moving on has came to a halt. for the good. my new year resolution, is to start making me self feel good about my self. and so far i think it is working. but always like you say not to much. did not make it up for the holidays, but it was not because i did not want to come. as you know i can't drive anymore and i can't get anyone to bring me :( I tried asking Laura to bring me for my Birthday. my birthday was a week ago. and still waiting. I have a good friend from high school took me out saturday night for my birthday. I think i can get her to bring me up sometime soon. I'm going to find some kind of plant or bushes that grow flowers and need low maintenance. so you can have pretty flowers even when i can't make it up to see you. I would be up there a lot more if i could bring my self. I Love You and Miss you very much. James was to young to remember you when you were called home. but am teaching him who you are in pictures of you, not the ones with you and him. he would not understand. he calls you poppy. His Grandpa Bill in NY was called Grandpa Boo for a while. he is just now got his name down and calls him Grandpa Bill. now just to get the lil fart to say it on video. been working on him, trying to get him to sit still long enough to get him on Video. I told Bill tonight about him being able to say Grandpa Bill, I think he is looking forward to seeing a video. Bill plans on moving to SC in a few years, when he retires. and will take James to meet him. right now he lives in upper state NY. a bit to far. but James is growing like a weed. he turned 5 a week ago tuesday. and has gone straight from baby to a lil boy. but he will always be my baby boy. He has Granny wrapped. and i love it. I started giving him a bag with lil snacks when he had to go home. and now he knows granny is going to have him snacks, or donuts he loves donuts just like his pappy. you would be so proud of him. and are lil miss Christine has her permit and has drove a lil. sweet 16 angel. and Brandon Bug ( B-Bug ) is 12 and 6th grade.his nick name stuck, I started B-Bug lol has changed to Brandon Bug. I still like the B-Bug but he is growing up, i just keep it in the back on my mind. so much has changed in 4 years, it seem like it was yesterday it was 2013. LOVE YOU HONEY

well in to another year with out you. seems like 2013 was yesterday, here we are at 2017.Went to Dad's Thanksgiving,Christmas,NewYears and for the first time was able to drink and have some fun. enjoyed my self. I think am coming back out of the hole i have been in since you have been gone.Our Granddaughter gets her permit Friday the 6th ( Jan ) and guess who she is taking after ? you won't believe this. Uncle Matthew ( our son ) making people laugh and doing silly things. Brandon, is the quiet type, Like you were for a while. till we had kids can't very well be quite when you got 3 kids running around.Baby James will be 5 in 2 weeks. I so much wish he remembered you. you were so close. am starting to show him who you were. I have a bracelet with your picture and he noticed a few months ago and i tell him that was your Pappy, he says it poppy, his other Grandpa in NY Bill Howell he calls him Grandpa Boo. He is going to need a lil speech therapy like his Mommy. Look out for her she is going thru some tuff times.she needs to get on some meds and straighten her self out. that ass hole really did a number on her. after 8 years of him abusing her. and we could not do a thing about it.

Well Christmas is over, was very lonely. and when i told you i though i was getting on with my life i was wrong. that not the type of person i want to be with. no body can ever match up to you. you were to good to me. and took care of me so well. i wish i could go back and change a lot of things.watch over Laura the jerk is gone, but he left a lot of damage to her.lil Miss Christine will be driving here real soon 9 days and counting. she is taking Laura's old car. they are going to fix it up.am thinking i might go to the lake for new years eve.Love you and miss you so much

Christmas is only a week away. it's hard to celebrate with out you. I have had friends the past few years that has took me in , and are great friends to this day. I still go to Dad and Gloria's fun times as always. we had thanksgiving over there this year and had a awesome time. me and Matthew were the last to leave, we both had a good time. and doing it with my son made it even better. keep a eye on him he has had a break up, he is doing better but still keep a eye on him, maybe send him a good woman. the past 1's has screwed him over. most of his other friends have gotten married and has a family. he is back in the single stage again, and know one to party with. I offered to lmbo what 28 yr old wants to party with there Mother. I Love You and miss you so much, the holiday are not the same with out you.Oh before i forget, our Granddaughter has went on her 1st date Friday night. I think Donald for got the first rule, "if you want to kiss my daughter, you have to kiss me 1st " lol

Merry Christmas baby, I don't think i will be able to come see you for Christmas. Matthew might bring me by Christmas Eve. when we go to my Dad's. I asked him about bring me and he did not answer me. you would be so proud of him. Turned out just like his Daddy. am very proud of him. The girls on the other hand are the same, a bit worst. you know girls will be girls. Ha! Christine will be 16 in less than a month, and James will be 5 in about 6 weeks.we went to my Dad's on Thanksgiving, we had the best time. Drink a bit to much, and did the train down Dad's street. i was holding on to Matthew by dear life. but i made it. you know us. get the Clemons and the Mcguire together with a few others. and start a party. I know you like hearing this more than me being depressed and crying. you know how you told me i need to move on if something ever happened to you. I may be heading in that direction. but don't think am forgetting about you and the love we had. and still have. you remember my new pew Timmy, He has cancer started in his colon and they did surgery and treatment only to fine out, they did not do any good, it has spread to his Lungs and Kidney's and only give him less than a year to make it. please watch over him and when he gets to heaven be there for him. one day i will join you when it's my time to go. and look forward to being back together pick up where we left off. <3 Love you & Miss you so much.

Hey Baby, been getting out of the house this week, and really enjoyed it.this never happens, I can't drive and have to depend on others. you know that i was not driving for a few years while i was sick. but i did try, and not good at it. Christine will be 16 in 2 months. she misses you a lot.the kids have for got you. but i never will for get. i bough you some stuff for halloween and fall but have not been up there. no ride ! I will try to get you something for Christmas. Laura is still with ass hole. Matthew, you remember it. oh ! am going back to Vegas in March to see Rod Stewart.this time i have a few people going with me. were staying 2 nights and 3 days. So this time i will get to site see.I plan on making this a every year. some thing i love it's better than FL, only bad part there is no ocean but i can't get in it anymore because of my ankle. so now its Vegas. Love You !

Thinking about you tonight. Matthew has broken up with Katlyn, she was with him when you passed away, you remember her. then to top that he got a kidney stone. and had to be off a whole week. He is like you were work work work. this Sunday night he tried to go back to work and had to leave because of the pain. he went back to the doctor monday and they did a x ray or something, and it showed up he passed it. so he guess it was Sunday night.there were a few more small stones forming, and told him to drink a lot of fluids.Just look over him while he is dealing with his loss. he still misses you a lot. you were the 1 that held our family together. am a big screw up. i miss you so much, miss your love for me. and my love for you.and I still do !

Hey, honey I went to woman's bible study and prayer service tonight. I ask a good friend how she felt about death, and she about feels the same way. she said it would be worst on me because am so alone. I need to get out more and meet some new people. easier said than done, but she did make me feel more understanding.and that am not a nut case because am holding on to you. life does not go on after your spouse passes away. always thinking of you babe. will be visiting you this weekend i hope.

sometime's i wonder why am still here.the only 1 that gave a crap about me. and he is gone. I have no one. you gave gave gave to everyone, according to everyone. am gone too. I just need to come to you , be with you again is all i want.the only people i have is a couple friends and church. no family any more. am just done with all of it.if something ever happened to me. I would lay here for weeks before anyone would think i was missing. you were much better, and cared for me. just i would of gave you more. I was sick and did not think of you, just need you keeping me out of pain.I was in another nursing home when you passed over.bothers me a lot. I want to be the last person you saw at your bedside. but knowing your no longer in any pain helps, i thank the lord.XoXoXo

I woke up this morning
And reached over for you.
You weren't there, I remembered
Now what will I do?

As I remembered the events
I started to cry
I lift my eyes upward
And scream to the sky

Why did you take him?
What did we do wrong?
We were finally making it
We had tried for so long

As I lay there and think
I remember the times we had
The memories flow
I'm no longer as sad.

A warm feeling spreads through
Like sun on my face
I feel light in body
Like I'm floating in space.

I lay there and wonder
What could the warmth be?
Not something I can touch
And surely not able to see

I picture his hand on mine
Warmth spreads to my fingers
I smile and laugh some
The feeling still lingers

The warmth is him
Letting me know
Everything will be okay
I am never alone

On those cold winter nights
When I long for his touch
When I feel so desperate
I haven't wanted anything so much

He will be there to lift me up
To show me I still have his love
I still have the memories
We always spoke of

As our children grow and learn
They accomplish new things
I can feel his joy
Oh, the warmth that it brings

My memories are great
But his touch is better
When I can't feel it
I just write him a letter

For I know he is watching
He's helping me learn
How to live in the world alone
And for him not yearn

I have felt his touch less
Over the last several days
I have met someone who
Is like him in many ways

He will always be with me
This I've come to believe
But now I have found someone
A new love to receive

I look to the skies
And raise my voice
Is it okay, I ask
And hear a joyful noise

I feel the warmth on my skin
And know that he is near
Not just on the outside
But from somewhere within

He's telling me it's okay
To move on with my life
And not to let it create
Any emotional strife

So, now when I think
The memories are clear
They don't hurt anymore
Because I know he is near

He is in my heart
In our daughter, our son
We weren't separated
Our souls are still one

I place a letter to him
On the stone with his name
Telling him I'm okay
That here he must remain

As I walk to the car
An eagle flies overhead
He tips his wings as if to say
I'm still alive, I am not dead.

I sit alone now in the darkness of despair.
I cry my silent tears,
My heart is broken into a million tiny pieces.
The silence is deafening to my ears.
The darkness frightens me,
The shadows climb the wall.
I hear footsteps walking,
Passing through the hall.
The loneliness surrounds me,
It takes my breath away,
This is the pattern of my life,
Since that awful, dreadful day.
Without a clue
Without a hint
Of what was yet to be,
God called you home
To be with him
And took you away from me.
I walk, I talk. I carry on
When the sun pokes out its head
But when darkness falls
And evening comes
I cannot go to bed.
For this is when I miss you most of all
When I curl into a little ball
And cry those silent tears.
Watching the shadows,
And missing you.

I have to be strong not for me
But for everyone else
I want to cry I want to scream
But no one can see my hollow tears
I keep you near to keep me sane
But the thought of you makes me sad
I want to hide and cry alone
But you are here and it keeps me real
I know you've left this solid ground
But in my heart you still live
You've kept me together for so long
So I will stay strong for everyone else

Hello Eddie,
It's connie. I know you remember me. I just want to let you know that you are missed so much. Liz misses you alot. We talk all the time. I will be there for her as much as possible. She knows I'm just a message away! We help each other get threw the loss of missing you all so much. She's such a strong women and needs you to watch over her. These memory books help so much. It makes us feel like we can talk to you all and you all hear us. You are missed so much. All the good people go so soon. You were such a great man. A wonderful husband, father. Such a wonderful family man. This generation needs more men like you. Well Eddie I'm gonna go for now. Please watch over liz she misses you a bunch. I'll always be here for her that's what friends are for. I'm gonna get over there and visit her here soon. We are gonna catch up on old times. I will write back soon.

Listening to some of are favor music, and thinking about you tonight . I miss you so much. I know some day we will be back together again.

Got to come visit on our Anniversary. an told you how much I miss you and my love will carry on till my day, where we can be back together. there will never be another. Your it Baby. Love you so much!!! I lord took the wrong one out of us 2. you were always the one that could handle, the kids and other things.am in the process of getting rid of the flowers. i don't have the green thumb, like you did.but kept that rose bushes you loved so much. Grand baby's are not baby's anymore Christine will be 16 in Jan, Brandon 13 the end of Oct and James will be 5 in Jan.

I MISS YOU MORE THAT EVER AND CRY A LOT. PEOPLE SAY IT GETS EASIER WITH TIME.. AM HERE TO SAY IT DOESNT. I KNOW MANY YEARS BEFORE YOU YOU PASSED WE TALKED ABOUT WHAT WE WOULD DO IF EITHER OF US DIED.AND LIKE I SAID I CAN'T GO ON.THIS HOUSE IS EMTEMY . NEVER DREAMED HOW HARD THIS WAS GOING TO BE.FOUND OUR LOVE LETTERS AND GOT THEM OUT AND READ THEM.AGAIN. WE REMINDED ME HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME, AND I LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY. I KNOW YOU WATCH OUT FOR ME, NEXT TIME YOU SEE THE KIDS COMING OVER TO GIVE ME A FIT.YOU AND YOUR FAMILY BLOW. SO IT WILL BE TO WINDY TO GET OUT.....LOL

A man among men
We lost Wednesday night
Feeling such peace
As he followed the light
The love in his eye
And the sound of his laughter
Remains in our hearts
Forever and after
Through all of his loved ones
He'll never be gone
Through each one of us
His spirit lives on
We all have a purpose
And something to give
With each breath
That we take
For as long as we live
Eddie can rest easy
With Angels above
As we share his gift
Of laughter and love
It always has been
And always will be true
He's the King among friends
We love you Eddie Clemons ( Husband )

I sit alone now in the darkness of despair.
I cry my silent tears,
My heart is broken into a million tiny pieces.
The silence is deafening to my ears.
The darkness frightens me,
The shadows climb the wall.
I hear footsteps walking,
Passing through the hall.
The loneliness surrounds me,
It takes my breath away,
This is the pattern of my life,
Since that awful, dreadful day.
Without a clue
Without a hint
Of what was yet to be,
God called you home
To be with him
And took you away from me.
I walk, I talk. I carry on
When the sun pokes out its head
But when darkness falls
And evening comes
I cannot go to bed.
For this is when I miss you most of all
When I curl into a little ball
And cry those silent tears.
Watching the shadows,
And missing you.

lAlone,but never quite alone.
I face an empty chair
But sometimes in the silence
I imagine You are there.
My once upon a time companion ,no longer here with me
And yet in some mysterious way
You keep me company.....

Happy 69th Birthday in Heaven, can't wait to join you, when the Lord calls me home.


I can control my tears now, Gloria told me a lil about how you left. I though you scuffed more than you did. in other words I thought they sent you from the hospital to the nursing home. at the very end. I did not get to be there as you parted from life.
I think you let go knowing I was not there . I kissed you and said I would see you tomorrow. Matthew got me back to the nursing home I was in, and not back to you 30 mins.So that makes me think you were holding on till I was gone, because you did not want me to be there because you knew how I take death.

also knowing you knew why I was not with you more. due to my accident .

Wish we could still hug each other and kisses. am always telling you I love you and how I miss you.

Missed Matthew Sunday, he was going to bring me to see you. He is suppose to bring me this week. Plus am going to have a talk with you.

Thinking a lot about you today.you were the strong one between us. The lord took the wrong 1. you could handle a lot more and know what to do.

I pray for god to walk me through it.I know your watching and sending me sign's. It will get better, it just take's time.Knowing your looking over me, makes me feel like I can get through.

No 1 is given a perfect life. you have to work at it. and am working hard, trying to fix it all. Between you and the Lord, I know I will make it.

I LOVE YOU !!!!!!!

Today is the third year. of you leaving this earth. god took you home and took all the pain's away. no more suffering. to breath. i had planned on visiting you and Taylor, and have things to put on the spot you rest. instead of remembering sick and suffering. at death. remember you on happy times. ( memorial day, Birthday,Christmas & Easter ). due to heath reasons my self. i will have to just come once or twice a year. not because i want to forget you. its that i have to depend on other people to get me there and get me to your grave. plus risk hurt someone or my self. and you would not want that to happen. plus i want to be able to talk to you there. your spirt is in heaven. but you are at the resting place we picked together. when Taylor passed away. your at that spot, the man i fell in love with. back in 1980. this probably makes not sense to any one that reads this.but i know it does to you. I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO MUCH. sometimes i feel like i can't go on with out you. but i have to wait till its my time to go.

Coming to see you on the 17th May. Matthew is going to bring me. I have something for you. to decor your resting place.Love you to the moon and back. Just wish I could hold you and HUG......

Missing you. it will be 3 years since you passed away May 17 2013. Wish I was there to hold your hand.Just know I was in a nursing home.were you hanging on till I left. 45 mins call later. Matthew called and in his words. were Dad passed away.I remember the towel, I was using to get the mucuses out of your mouth. and you knew, I was you pushed it out , He knew I was doing that. he would tap my hand. Till the kids came in, saying I was hurting you. I so rough they were sucking it out. too deep. you had no caring Nurse at pass day. I noticed and seen it. I did get made the pain meds were 2 drips every 15 min. I could tell it was not enough. But you already no's what it was like. LOVE YOU !!!!! Hoping to come visit with you soon.I have you a few presents for your grave. Can wait to see you. I know your still there. Love you so much.

These up dated picture, are from the years since he has been gone. I like to think he see all this life he is missing out ( meaning seeing them growing and watching over them.

went on a lil trip a few weeks ago. I know you were watching over me. to get back safe, as always. and well. LOVE & MISS YOU

Matthew brought me to see you Saturday. it was to muddy, to put your ideals for you. don't think i have forgot you.me and Matthew sat there a couple mins and talked. of course the tears started. i have you a flower pot. to plant. i will just have check with the office.you would be disappointed in your yard, I can't do to good.hope to come see you and taylor, i have her some.life has moved on, but i have a part i can't let go.hope your getting to spoil Taylor. Christine is 15 and in Highschool, B- Bug is 12 in 5th grade. And baby came is doing good he is 4.he is hyper like Laura was. and like any other 4 yrs old. he does not remember. but when he gets older. we will show him and tell him who his pappy was.and our 3 kids are the same HARD heads like you always said. Matthew has a real good job and just bought his 1st home. Laura, is a very good mommy for James. working and taking care of a baby. is a 24 hr job. we remember them. and she is only 1. the you know who is gone.i will try to make it up to see you when the ground dry's up. LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU A LOT

Not much of a New Year with out you 2016

Just got up about 10. I'm sorry I did not get up there. I have some things for you. the christmas stuff I'm going to put it up for next Christmas. I promise, I will come see you. Just waiting on a ride. when you passed away.so did my live. it will be 3 years in may.I have some health problem can and the other angels pray for me.I have been to a hailer and prayed together as he heals.Miss you a lot. Love ya I wish I could bring you back.your flowers are a mess. I trusted Jessie Hudson.my rings, heat pin. pretty sure me 38mm. silver penny's. James, is a handful , just like laura was when she was that age. they are staying with me for a few months.    miss you

Were only 3 day's till Christmas. and James will be 4 on January 17th.He misses you too. Christine will be 15, and B-Bug 11.Matthew is doing good also. He has a good job. He is A engineer with a Cable business. and working day and night, like you did. you would be poured of Laura and Matthew. and our 3 grandkids. I still thinking about you. and all our years together.still feel's like a bad nightmare.

He was took from me 05/ 17/ 2013.that is 2 years. Still want god to give you back. I can take care of you now.I got out of the nursing home. feb/26/ 2013, then my break down... when i got out of the nursing home.no one realized. that was my first time being left in our home, alone.i just want god to give you back to me.i come to see you a lot. last time i was there to put up a light. where you can see, it's so dark.up there.i have some picture's to bring you.of our family. James, is grow a lot. he is 3 and school 3 year progam. JCP.Christine is 14 and going to high school. Brandon 10, going in to 5th grade.

Eddie you were such a great man. You are loved and missed by so many. Watch over your wife liz and your kids,& grand babies keep them safe. Know u loved gardening and your houses always looked so beautiful..I know u have heaven looking beautiful.

My Dearest Eddie
you know i love you very much, that love will never die. for you have left me a part of you behind. the love i have for you will go to him each and every day. because i know that my faith in god will help me along the way.i miss you, much more than words can say.love. Eddie. i hope to be with you soon.

"Every life is as individual as a snowflake; so too, is the grief that wounds every living heart."

Come With Me
The Lord saw you getting tired
And a cure was not to be,
So He put his arms aroud you
And whispered “Come with me.”
With tearful eyes we watched you suffer
And saw you fade away.
Although we loved you dearly,
We could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
Your beautiful smile at rest.
God broke our hearts to prove
He always takes the best.
It’s lonesome here without you,
We miss you so each day.
Our lives just aren’t the same
Ever since you went away.
When days are sad and lonely
And everything goes wrong,
We hear you gently whisper,
“Cheer up and carry on.”
Each time we see your picture,
You seem to smile and say,
“Don’t cry, I’m in God’s keeping,
We’ll meet again someday.”