ForeverMissed
Feda and Muhammed tragically lost their precious lives in a house fire in the early hours of September 26, 2020. Feda's sister and niece escaped, but Feda went back to try to get Mu out of the burning home. When the fire officials found the bodies, Feda was embracing Mu.

There has been an outpouring of friends and colleagues wanting to honor Feda and Mu and their legacy. Here are some of the ways.

Address for letters and other mail:
Salah Family
1141 Apple Ave
Hayward, CA 94541

Post your respects, memories, and photos online right here on Forever Missed:
https://www.forevermissed.com/feda-mu/about

Donations:
We know that Feda would have appreciated donations to any of the following in her and Mu's honor.

National Council on Severe Autism
Feda was so proud to have been a founding board member of the NCSA. She was devoted to bringing the realities of severe autism to light, to help forge desperately needed advances in programs, care and national policy.
https://www.ncsautism.org/donate

Autism Society San Francisco Bay Area
As Vice President of SFASA, Feda loved creating local events to help her fellow autism families. These included the SFASA Pool Parties, Autism on Tap series, and of course the annual conferences. Feda Fund donations will be used toward creating future events Feda would have loved.
https://www.sfautismsociety.org/donate.html

Autism Law Summit (Feda Almaliti Scholarship Fund)
Feda had hundreds of autism friends around the country whom she knew because of the annual Autism Law Summit. Feda wowed the audience at the 2018 Summit with a luncheon keynote that had everyone laughing and crying at once. In her honor, the Autism Law Summit has established the Feda Almaliti Scholarship Fund to bless one or more parent advocates.
https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/fedascholarshipfund

Autism Mental Health Insurance Project
Feda got her start in autism advocacy by fearlessly pushing for insurance reform in California, to expand access to behavioral health treatments for all affected by autism. Your donations will go towards a scholarship fund to assist low income families with advocacy services. Feda served on the board of directors and helped to guide its vision from 2013 until her death.  
www.mhautism.org

Posted by Lubna Salah on September 26, 2021
It’s been one year since we lost you both and the pain still feels fresh. We think about you daily and miss you very much. Your legacy is still going strong and will last forever. Our loss is heavens gain. Love you both.
Posted by Arzu Forough on September 26, 2021
Habibti, you are missed and loved. You’re both with us through our fond memories of you and I dream of joining you and my Ian in Firdaus. "What we once loved we can never lose!" See you on the other side my friend…
Posted by Sara Kole on December 6, 2020
I am lighting a candle for your my dear friend, on my birthday weekend, to let you know how much I miss you and our bright light in my life. You are cherished forever and I will see you and Mu in the full moon rising every month. I honor you this month as we close out the nasty year of 2020, but you will never be forgotten: the way you nourished other's souls, the way you bulldozed through with strength and resilience everything that autism puts in your path, the way you persevered and provided laughter for others in the darkness of the hardest days. I've had some hard days this past month after your physical leaving, however your spirit and soothing presence are somehow still here for me. I am so grateful for the life you instilled in me as a mother of a child with severe autism. Know you are so on my heart 
Posted by Lubna Salah on October 14, 2020
I miss you, Feda.
Posted by Al-Ameerah Khlood on October 8, 2020
Posted by Laura Rosas on October 6, 2020
Thank you, thank you, thank you, for all you did for all of us with autistic children, family members, clients and patients. You leave a remarkable legacy and I am so grateful for the impact you made and heartbroken at the loss of you and your son. I did not know you personally, but saw you speak in 2017 and was riveted. My heart goes out to all those who knew and loved you - may your memory bring peace to those who loved you and inspire those to follow your path. 
Posted by Lubna Salah on October 5, 2020
The world lost two bright lights but I am in peace knowing that they are flying together as angels in heaven. Mu was a perfect angel with a dance that would fill your heart with pure joy. Feda means "one who sacrifices oneself". She sacrificed her life for her son and for all children with autism. It comforts me to know that she found the perfect place for her passion to make a difference and how she and Mu affected so many lives. Her legacy will live on forever. While she may have sacrificed herself, we will always remember her as Feda...the Rockstar. We will miss you and will wait to see you in the next life while we never forget you in this one. Fly, angels, fly.
Posted by Anna Brooks on October 3, 2020
Deep condolences on the tragic loss of Feda and Mu Almaliti. What a devastating blow to the autistic community, the overall persons with disabilities community, and all who knew her. Feda sounded like a shining light of support and insights, and her work with the National Council on Severe Autism from the time she helped found it was an incredible gift to the world. From what I read in the Common Roots Farm newsletter's article and on the Council's website, Feda was as fun and hilarious as she was accomplished and giving. And Mu must have given her so much love and inspiration. I wish all who knew them comfort during this difficult time. May their memory be a blessing, and may they rest together in peace. 
Posted by Debra Rich on October 2, 2020
I only knew Feda through NCSA webinars and articles but I deeply admired her. My heartfelt condolences to her family and friends on this tragic loss. And a loss for the autism community too on the loss of one of our warriors. At least she and her son Mu are together someplace where autism doesn't exist and no doubt have lots of catching up to do! Rest in peace, Feda and Mu.
Posted by Jillian Copeland on October 1, 2020
I met Feda in 2017 at the Visionary Conference. From the first moment, I knew she was special. Her smile lit up the room. She presented at the conference and I smiled and laughed so hard that my cheeks hurt. Feda knew I was at the conference alone and completely took me under her wing. We shared dinner together and hugged goodbye to be forever friends...even after just two days! We talked about doing a road show w the Jew from the East Coast and the Muslim from the West Coast. Too bad we never made that happen. Feda promised she would do her presentation here in DC and we never made that happen either. Boy am I regretful. Feda’s activism, humor, kindness, and love of her sons and family will be her legacy. We will carry Feda’s love, spirit and goodness with us. Rest In Peace my Friend.
Posted by Judith Ursitti on October 1, 2020
I will never forget "Feda Almighty" the force of love and advocacy that came into my life because of autism. She was witty. She was kind. She was persistent. She was authentic. She generated joy. She inspired change. She pushed me out of my comfort zone. She changed the world. She changed me. I love you, Feda. Your heart for advocacy is mine. We will continue. Please guide us. Your love for your fellow autism parents. Your love for all those with autism .. it changed everything.
Posted by Rita Estrada on October 1, 2020
Feda, I am heartbroken Mu and you have left us. You were just reinventing yourself. You had so much to give and so much time left to live. I'll miss your enthusiasm every time you greeted me. The way you would scoop me up and call me your Cuban Bitch ;). We will take it from here and fight the good fight in honor of Mu, you, Zach and all our autism community. Last night I dreamed that I heard Zach's voice calling Feedddaa! I imagined him running towards you with arms open. Give my boy a giant hug and kiss from me please. You and Mu will forever be in my heart. Love you girl!
Posted by Maria Archuleta on September 30, 2020
I am not even sure of what to say about this brave and tenishiesus Woman,Mother, and Hard working woman who did a lot for the autism people. I met Freda for the first time at Alameda Allience MAC meeting. She was a very strong woman with her words and what she would say for the children etc. for awhile i did not think she was a MAC member but someone from a doctors office because she really did know what she as asking for. So again I applaud to you my dear friend for all you did for these children and people and you showed your bravery not once but so many many times with the stories i have read that it makes me just to only believe that the Good Lord above knew exactly what he was getting back and a Warrior you are and he needed you. And your son Mu sounds just like what and how they talk of him he was a very kind and gentle lil spirit that everyone enjoyed being around him you both was amazing to me and the rest of us and such a great mentors. I am only sad that with all the kind and beautiful stories i have read of you Freda that i did not really get the chance to talk more with you at the MAC meetings. You would have been a great friend to me and we all need that. Again my biggest condolences to your family for there loss of two great Hero’s and knowing that they both are looking down smiling at all the people they had met and worked with and helped. And thats the best and biggest Gift any family could have and you both will be greatly missed again i wished i had the chance to have really got to know you Freda you was a very amazing Woman and carious and brave and the best mom and roll model mother ever for the rest of us mothers of what a real mother would do to the end. You will be missed dearly. Amen
Keep smiling Freda and Mu.

Posted by Arzu Forough on September 30, 2020
"What we once loved we can never lose!" I love Feda's tenacious commitment to her children, her raw sense of humor and her unfiltered truth telling. I love that she protected& comforted her beloved Mu every day of his life and I love that I had the privilege to walk with her on my journey with autism over the last 9 years. I miss you dearly Feda. This is not goodbye, this is see you on the other side my friend.
Posted by Rachel Norton on September 30, 2020
Feda was fierce, beautiful, brilliant and hilarious. She made an impact on the world and on me personally. Thank you, Feda, for everything you did for so many families. I am sending peace to you and to Mu and love to your family, who I know will miss you so much.
Posted by Selvi Pragasam on September 30, 2020
In memorium of a courageous mother Feda Almaliti. A mother who I would call my hero, who not only lived for her son but also gave her life for her son.
Feda Almaliti, the nationally-known advocate for people with autism and dedicated mother, had already escaped her home as it filled with flames and smoke early Saturday, when she realized her severely autistic 15-year-old son Muhammed was not with her. She ran back inside to save him, but neither came back out.
I have known Feda and met her during autism related meetings. She was a fierce warrior for the cause and had the senators in Sacramento sign bills that would make it mandatory for medi-cal to cover treatments for autism.
She was ready to advocate for anyone who approached her. A beautiful woman, a wonderful mother and outstanding citizen.
Feda Almaliti, I hope you and your darling son are in a better place away from all the pains of this world. RIP dear Feda and Mu!!! Miss you terribly and I dont think this void can ever be filled. Deepest condolences to her sister Salah and her niece
Posted by Patti McCloud on September 30, 2020
You have my deepest condolences! Feda was truly an extraordinary bright light in the lives of so many. She had such a magnetic personality and you felt like you were her best friend after only a few minutes, I never got the chance to meet Mu but I felt like I knew him from all the stories. Feda and I compared hilarious moments and trials and tribulations as my son is very much like Mu. She was an autism warrior Mom until her last breath. Truly in awe of the incredible soul that she was. And I loved more than anything her brutal honesty and her love of inappropriate words and hard core music! A woman after my own heart. She will be missed. Keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers! Much love and many hugs from Pittsburgh, PA!
Posted by Monica Wegner on September 30, 2020
Words cannot describe the pain your loss has caused. You will remain the icon of motherhood and goodness in my heart. I hope to live every day striving to be more like you: a champion for others, a woman with an epic sense of humor and the mouth of a sailor, a person who exhibited all of the best qualities of what parents can be and achieve.

I write this knowing that if you read it, you'd be rolling your eyes at me. That's how humble and selfless you were. 
Posted by Mo Sal on September 30, 2020
I don't know Feda from before. I came across the Fremont fire article, and happened to read it through, and was completely moved by her bravery and dedication. I realize how unsung heroes like her have changed my family's life. Whatever I write here cannot express my gratitude for her standing up and fighting for individuals and families affected by ASD. It's never easy and never enough, and I can understand, never fully understood by others. Thank you Feda

Mo (pen name)
Posted by Bassam Jammal on September 30, 2020
My heart goes out to Fida, her son Mu, they truly will be missed. She was such an inspiration to everybody. Best wishes and blessings to her Family too.
Posted by Michele Liedeker on September 29, 2020
Feda - You are a force of nature. You are fear LESS. We met through the board at Family Resource Navigators and from the moment I encountered your spirit, I knew you were a fierce mama bear with the strength, compassion, commitment, talent and drive to make things happen. It is no surprise to hear that you ran back into a burning building to save your child. Your work on this earth shall continue to support families like yours. Yours was a life of meaning. You helped Mu find his place in this world and know joy. May your memory be for a blessing.
Posted by Tracey (Chew-) Bullock on September 29, 2020
I’m still in disbelief! My heart has been in pain and my eyes sore from crying since I found out about Feda and Mu’s passing this morning.

It was just two weeks ago that we had our one and a half hour video chat. We got to have a deep personal chat - just the two of us. I’d feel honoured when she called me her Bitch. I loved it. I can still hear her endearing greeting, “Hey, Bitch.” I love her honest and sincere brashness. It was her intense passion shining through. It was her feisty passion for assertively advocating for her son Mu (Mohammed), other families like hers, and mine living with severe Autism. Mu drove her passion and she used it to make impactful change for the community. You’ll repeatedly hear how big her personality was, how feisty she was, and how passionate she was, because she really was and it was contagious. She made you want to join her in her quest to advocate for families especially those living with severe autism.

I still can’t believe just how recent we had that conversation and I’m so glad I got to tell her how amazing she and Jill Escher are at advocating and all the work they do. She was modest with her response and at the same time she gave me pointers about being a strong advocate as if training me to follow in her foot steps. I took it to heart because she was definitely a mentor to me - she and Jill. It’s still too fresh that I saw and heard her at our SFASA Board Meeting earlier this week.

I cry as I write this post because I, and the Autism community has lost a wonderful woman and her dear son. I lost a family member of this sisterhood of Autism Mothers fighting the same fight - taking care of our families, advocating for our children and community with Autism, and living our lives with the same agenda. Feda was definitely a leader in the arena.

I hope she’s up there resting in peace with Mohammed knowing that her sisterhood will continue the fight she fought so well down here.

I love you and miss you Feda and Mohammed, you big bear.

Avery’s heart is broken as well and yes, he’s “Avery with the brown hair”. We’re so glad we got to swim with you and Mu every weekend over the summer.
Posted by David Garcia on September 29, 2020
I met Feda in 2006 at a California autism blue ribbon commission meeting in Oakland, California. We were fighting the same cause. Kaiser had denied services for our children and we were both angry to say the least. For both our families it was the start of a life long journey to battle the forces that had access to our childrens' opportunities.

Find out, we both hailed from Fremont.

With other great Fremont families, we went on to form Special Ed PTA in Fremont USD. Feda as President and me as VP. With community support we went on to help illuminate the practices of a certain special ed administrator during the early/mid 2000’s. It was both business and personal. That admin at FUSD didn’t last long after that. Was a proud moment. You need to get rid of the cancer before you can move on.

My family eventually moved out of the bay area to the central valley. And in our small world it is not uncommon to see the same warriors battling it out. Coming together and merge our unique skills and push back. Feda and I crossed paths at Autism Mental Health Insurance Project (KF) and again at Family Resource Network, Oakland (EC). 

Feda’s spirit was/is/will be ever lasting. Those that met Feda were made better by her. And Feda's passion and voice will continue to reverberate through all of us that got to know her and saw her in the trenches speaking her mind.

oh, and one day I dropped by her house to talk special ed business and ended up fixing her printer, she said I was useful. Glad I could help Feda.
Posted by Al-Ameerah Khlood on September 29, 2020
Mu’s Life was Dope n he always did Dope Shit

⚽️✈️⛱⛺️️‍‍
https://youtu.be/7jBNOLRt9_4

RIP MU n Mama Feda.
Posted by Anielka Martinez on September 29, 2020
Adorable Mu, your hugs and magical laughter will always be with me. Admirable Feda, you will forever be a strong force of love and compassion. Feda and Mu added so much to evey life they both touched.
Posted by Diane Tackaberry on September 29, 2020
Dearest Feda. She was a powerhouse as many of her friends and colleagues have attested to. She was also an amazingly good friend. She sought me out when she saw that I was going through cancer. I was a stranger to her. But, of course, we know that no one is a stranger to Feda. She planned a night out that was a highlight in my dark days of chemo. She was warm, funny, and nurturing. She would always have time for a friend. She never seemed too busy even though she had many plates in the air. Even when I’d get bogged down in my own sh-t, she would be the one to reach out to make a plan or invite me to an event. She was one hell of a mom and human being. I wish Feda and Mu could have had more time on this Earth with us, but I’m glad that she and her beloved Mu are together.
Posted by Linda Toci-Owczarz on September 28, 2020
I first met Feda in 2011 at a STAR conference. She and Karen Fessel gave a talk on securing health coverage for autism services for children. Govn'r Jerry Brown had appointed her to head a special commission on health insurance funding for autism, and she was on fire! Her energy and clarity transformed the group of parents I sat with from anxious to lively, motivated advocates for their children. I introduced myself to her afterwards and we talked for some time about future parity law and other accessibility issues. We rarely saw each other in person, but maintained contact via FB and other platforms. She inspired me to advocate for whoever needed it. She was a beautiful person and I'll miss her.  
Posted by Crisanta Deguzman on September 28, 2020
I've probably only met Feda a handful of times but who can forget her? She always spoke up for those of us who had the toughest kids in the special needs block. The kids who had behavioral issues, who didn't make the cut for mainstreaming, who needed 1:1 aides and who had no voice. Feda was our voice and she spoke well and loudly. I only wish I had more time to spend with her.
Posted by Michelle De Blank on September 28, 2020
I worked with Feda when the ABA parity rules for Medi-Cal came out. She was a devoted warrior and a fun and kind person. I am so devastated by her loss. I know her memory will be a blessing.
Posted by Queen Bee on September 28, 2020
The story of Feda and her son Mu was unfamiliar to me until they made breaking headline news. Her journey of persistence inspires love, which she honorably upheld as an incredible SUPER mom in the last moments of her life. May Allah accept their good deeds, and may her legacy of the Mental Health and Autism Insurance Project thrive in helping others.
Posted by Sheri Rosenhan on September 28, 2020
I didn't know you personally Feda, but heard your voice for the first time last week when I listened to your podcast about Autism. I have a 19 year old son Zachary with Autism and it's been a long road to advocate for him. I respect the mother you were to Mu and what you have done for him to pave the road for all of us to follow. May your memory be a blessing.
Posted by Cherry Chan on September 28, 2020
I'm so shocked and heartbroken by this news...I remember your larger than life personality but most of all, the encouragement you gave to us parents who were navigating the insurance nightmare and dealing with the school district. You told me 13 years ago that it was easier to fight the insurance company than the school district, and so I did. I owe a debt of gratitude to you for guiding me and helping me fight for coverage for my daughter's therapies. Thank you Feda...May you and Muhammed rest in peace.
Posted by Ann McDonald-Cacho on September 28, 2020
Blessings to Feda's loving family. A whirlwind of good a person was so happy to get swept up within, unless one was on the wrong side of human, civil, disability, educational, and health care rights. Two treasured stars that provided enduring light to protect and lead. Thank you Feda and Mu. 
Posted by Debra Patrizi on September 28, 2020
Feda,
You inspired us all with your clear mission and genuine love for children and families. You showed that curiosity and hope would guide us to support families of children with developmental disability. Thank you for sharing your family, your energy to do the right thing, and your genuine and unconditionally love. You made us all better people with your selfless love. I am so grateful for your friendship and for all the work you accomplished and such a short time. I will miss you dearly and will never forget your work and the tools you left us all with to support and care for others. Your love for your children could not have been stronger and in the end you were there for Mu as the perfect mother that you were! Thank you Feda!
Posted by Cristina Moretto on September 28, 2020
Feda, I will miss your inspiring, buoyant, hilarious and warrior spirit so much. You and your beautiful Mu made the world a much better place. May you both be at peace.
Posted by EILEEN CRUMM on September 28, 2020
I still can’t believe you are gone. So much I learned from you – always say what you think, take no prisoners when you advocate and make no apologies for demanding what our children need. I will miss your wicked sense of humor, your great laugh and your ability to organize people to change the world. And that, to the end, you protected Mu. Rest in power Feda.
Posted by Kelly Bermingham, MA, BCB... on September 28, 2020
The world is lost.
Posted by Yuval Levental on September 28, 2020
I didn't get to talk with you much but as an autism advocate myself, I really appreciated your work. Severe autism is a very challenging condition, which the media doesn't cover enough, and you fought for more recognition. I remember you were proud of me when I created the NCSA Wikipedia page (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/National_Council_on_Severe_Autism). I have been learning more about the battles you were involved in and I am impressed by your dedication, attitude, and willingness to collaborate with others. Hopefully, your good work will live on through others.

The last time I talked with you was when you said "Shana Tovah to all my Jewish friends!" and I said "Shana Tovah" in response.
Posted by Yael Naveh on September 28, 2020
Feda and Mu, you came into our lives about 4 years ago, with so much love and hugs. Always ready to make your friends laugh and to provide support and encouragement when it was needed. We packed so much friendship in 4 short years that it feels like longer and I will treasure those memories for a lifetime now. I know that even though Yoni cant say it, he feels the same way, he loved his Feda hugs- she knew the way to his heart (the delicious food helped!) and Mu, you and Yoni shared so many of the same interests, you were one of his only friends that he would physically reach out for every time he saw , that said more than a million words to me.
Posted by Alycia Ross on September 28, 2020
Feda, I will miss your sassy mouth and your funny jokes. You had such a big personality but were so unassuming, everyone who shared your ideals was your friend. You loved fiercely and fought so hard not just for your own son but for other kids as well. You made a mark on this world and you will not be forgotten. I just wish we had more time with you here. 

I have collected a few of my thoughts and posted them on the ASF weekly science podcast here. https://asfpodcast.org/archives/1055
Posted by Jill Escher on September 28, 2020
Feda, you are completely irreplaceable. Totally fearless. Always curious and learning and building your extraordinary power. Such a close, trusted friend to so many. It's almost like you had a magical wand of a fairy godmother -- so protective, so creative in making ideas and plans come to life. You took on others' pain and made it your own. The world is a much more boring and dull place without you. You will be missed forever, even by me your friend who (unlike you) "has no feelings"

Leave a Tribute

 
Recent Tributes
Posted by Lubna Salah on September 26, 2021
It’s been one year since we lost you both and the pain still feels fresh. We think about you daily and miss you very much. Your legacy is still going strong and will last forever. Our loss is heavens gain. Love you both.
Posted by Arzu Forough on September 26, 2021
Habibti, you are missed and loved. You’re both with us through our fond memories of you and I dream of joining you and my Ian in Firdaus. "What we once loved we can never lose!" See you on the other side my friend…
Posted by Sara Kole on December 6, 2020
I am lighting a candle for your my dear friend, on my birthday weekend, to let you know how much I miss you and our bright light in my life. You are cherished forever and I will see you and Mu in the full moon rising every month. I honor you this month as we close out the nasty year of 2020, but you will never be forgotten: the way you nourished other's souls, the way you bulldozed through with strength and resilience everything that autism puts in your path, the way you persevered and provided laughter for others in the darkness of the hardest days. I've had some hard days this past month after your physical leaving, however your spirit and soothing presence are somehow still here for me. I am so grateful for the life you instilled in me as a mother of a child with severe autism. Know you are so on my heart 
Recent stories
Shared by Diane Dooley on October 1, 2020
I first met Feda and Mu when Mu was turning three and starting his school journey.   I have remained a part of that journey ever since.  Feda was fierce and funny and a very real and honest person.  We may not have always agreed but I always had tremendous respect for her and her dedication to making sure that Mu had everything he needed as well as her advocacy for all families living with Autism.   I will miss her sense of humor, her cooking and her constant challenge to all of us in special education to do our best for families in need.  The world is indeed a little dimmer without Feda and Mu.  Rest in Peace❤️

My nephew Mu

Shared by Al-Ameerah Khlood on September 29, 2020
My nephew MU is a special kind of folk; a particular kid from the very get. He loved everything just as such; adored, no was OBSESSED with Dora the explorer in much the same way my younger daughter Noura does this present way. Mu wasn’t the most affectionate person all the time but connected better with people than most, including myself. We didn’t get to spend enough tome together. The times we did were special and cherished. 

RIP MU and big sis too! 
Shared by Shazia Bashiruddin on September 28, 2020
I had the pleasure of having Mu as my very first client ever when I started doing ABA therapy. He put me through the ringer at first but over time he and I grew such a deep bond. He was a gentle soul who loved Dora the explorer, loved his family, and loved to smile. Feda was one of the strongest parents I ever worked with. She was tough but loving, and she was extremely funny. On the last day I worked with him, before I moved to a new company, Feda made me a feast. It was something I will never forget. I found pictures of the feast, an old messed up picture of me and Mu (my camera was awful back then), and a video I took of a session I ran with Mu and his brother Khalil. The entire Almaliti family are in my prayers. The lasting impact Feda and Mu had on everyone they met will ensure their legacy will always continue. Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji'un