So, the people have spoken online from around the world, too many to count; now we’re here and still it doesn’t seem real.
If ever I caught myself getting nervous about today I remembered how privileged I am to be trusted to share with you, in my own words, memories of an unforgettable guy who changed all our lives.
Ivan; a solid name for a strong man. It suited him. I only learned the other day that if things had been different he might have been called Joe. But Ivan he was.
Ivan Joseph Purdie was born to Jill and Mike in West Sussex on April Fools’ Day but was certainly nobody’s fool. I didn’t know him as a boy but from the glowing tributes posted by his childhood friends it’s obvious he made an impact from an early age.
He was a bright student but couldn’t wait to leave school and make his mark on the world. Who could have known what a force of nature he would become?
From the first time I met Ivan nearly twenty years ago when we played cricket for Sawbridgeworth I knew I liked him; we all did, and he soon became a trusted and loyal friend.
There was much to admire about Ivan and whether it was golf, cricket, skiing, cycling or rugby, he was all action. With his huge smile and wide shoulders, he didn’t do half measures, it was go hard or go home. When Ivan was on form he’d make the golf course look like a pitch and putt, eat, drink, make us laugh until it hurt and then serenade us with Elvis long into the night. And he’d be back the next day to do it all over again. So much passion for life.
He steered our bunch of golfing misfits on many a night out. You knew about it in the morning when you’d been out with Ivan and although we’ve lost our friend those happy times will live long in the memory.
Always leading from the front and with confidence to spare, he energised those around him. Ivan had a rare ability to articulate his vision and achieved many successes in his career. Building strong teams was one of Ivan’s great gifts to business and he did it for big, big companies around the world. Interesting and always interested, Ivan was a highly skilled people person who could operate at all levels.
He hadn’t quite hit the big time when I first knew him and when he did I admit to wondering “how does he do it”? Then one day I figured it out; he was bloody good at his job.
Virtually commuting across the Atlantic, jet lag didn’t seem to slow him down. A lucky few of us were invited on the trip of a lifetime for Ivan’s 40th birthday. Golf at Pebble Beach then on to Las Vegas and a helicopter out to the Grand Canyon; we were living the dream. Those were great days and it felt good to be under Ivan’s wing; kind of safe and dangerous at the same time.
When thinking about Ivan, two questions usually sprang to mind; what was he gonna do next and what was he gonna buy next?
With his fondness for nice cars, watches, holidays and sailing boats you could be forgiven for thinking this snappy dressing fellah was a bit flash but he wasn’t.
Ivan just liked the good stuff.
The man had presence and the man had style. Remember how he would strut into the room, all chest and shoulders and grinning from ear to ear. And on the rare occasions when he wasn’t wearing sunglasses you could see the mischief in those eyes.
Latterly he lent his business brain to this golf club as a member of the board and many of us, including me, have benefited from Ivan’s thoughtful guidance.
To me, he was like a dad, brother and best mate rolled into one. I looked up to him and he taught me a lot.
That’s not to say he was immune to the occasional flash of stupidity. Plans for a grand firework celebration at his first house in Sawbridgeworth were going well until I reminded him about the thatched roof.
But he loved being out there with his mates, taking on the course with his John Daly swing. He never once walked round a golf course either. Why walk when you can swagger? And Ivan spent so much time on his mobile; it was a tough choice between a bench and a phone charging point to remember him by.
One wag observed that the location chosen for Ivan’s bench is perfect because that’s about as close as he ever got to the practise facilities.
In partnership with Kate, Ivan made a warm and generous host. He loved to cook, and some of my happiest memories are of times spent sharing food and wine and most precious of all, laughter, with Ivan, Kate and our good friends. He would spoil us with the best steaks on our poker nights and his paella matched anything you’ll find in Spain.
Ivan loved his family and friends dearly and told me how much days spent skiing and golfing with his dad and brother meant to him.
Charming and charismatic, Ivan had a big heart. In his short but full life, he managed to confuse more than one woman into marrying him and was the proud and loving father of two beautiful daughters and a lovely little boy.
Ivan was devoted to Kate and his children. His wonderful family will be his lasting legacy and I am certain that Olivia, Scarlett and Lucas will go on to do many more things to make their Dad proud.
If their minds are even half as enquiring as their dad’s they’ll know enough.
The past five years since Ivan became ill have been sad for us all and none of us can imagine the personal loss that Kate, Jill, Mike, Catherine and the family are suffering. To witness Kate’s unwavering love and incredible support for our friend has been a humbling experience.
It’s been so hard to watch Ivan fight his fight but he tackled it head on and fought with determination and courage till the final whistle blew. He confounded the experts countless times and his stubborn bravery has been an example to us all.
As Ivan began to cast a smaller shadow, in my eyes, he became an even bigger man. Not once did I hear him complain or ask why me? Even near the end he was planning next year’s golf trips from his hospital bed. The man was pure class.
Now Ivan’s pain is over and it’s time to say our goodbyes.
I’ll never stop missing my best mate but Ivan wouldn’t want us to be miserable today. He’d want us to raise a glass and remember all the good times.
But most of all, I believe he’d want us to look after each other; not just for today, and to be the best that we can be.
So here’s the deal Ivan; keep on sending us your positive energy and we promise to always do the right thing whenever we’re in a “What would Ivan do”? situation.
We all loved you mate; you were some man for one man and by far the best of us.