June 1, 2016
June 1, 2016
I am so very grateful to have had you in my life... In your own unique way, you taught me so much. I am eternally sorry that I couldn't be there for you in the end, and for so long I thought about what changes and impact my presence could have made to the way things played out.... But then I would hear your voice in the background saying "weeell, shit happens. You can't kick yourself in the ass for things out of your control." I hear your voice in a lot of situations here, giving me that deeply chill perspective to counter the other influences that I had growing up. (You know how your children and most of your grandchildren opted more for vinegar than honey in tense situations, so your laid back perspective was refreshing and impactful and often funny to me.) But I so loved you for it!! I miss you so much. I miss your wise cracks with grandma. I miss your amused indulgence of all of my wild situations and experiences —which you said were more colorful than a book. I miss your uninhibited acceptance of me, no matter how different and unique a plant I seemed to be growing into, you watered me all of the same. You are forever missed!!