I first met Joel in the Spring of 1990, I was preparing for my next assignment, England, and Joel was applying for a position in my division, to return to England. We met on neutral ground, and after some long discussions, he convinced me that he was the man for the job; and so it was that we were to spend the next three years mostly within 15 feet of each other.  As most of you know, Joel was not shy, and did not hesitate to frequently give his opinion on the state of our division, and how it might go in a different direction. Most of the time I politely listened, and that sometimes satisfied him. Other times he would continue and pursue other avenues, to the point that I would have to cut him off with a firm, "we are done here". His response inevitably was a rousing, "Now, chief, that was totally unambiguous". We would both laugh and he would go on his way. I use that word periodically now.and when I do, I think of Joel. We had many discussions during our time together and even when I disagreed with him, I valued his counsel. On a lighter note,he was especially taken with some of the cakes that my wife occasionally sent in. Once she sent in a tunnel cake and when we cut it he was baffled at how she got that tunnel portion of the cake in the middle. I was very saddened when I read of his passing. I know that when he came in with some of his ideas, it was truly because he continued to strive for excellence. Excellence in our mission, as well as excellence in the work that he did. Rest easy, warrior.

I met Joel after he married Lee, my mother-in-law.  We spent many hours with Lee and Joel on the Maryland shore and in Maine.  I, too, remember Joel for his many stories and firmly held opinions on any subject that surfaced during our conversations.  No conversation with Joel ever suffered from periods of silence!  He loved his family and shared many happy hours with them on vacations across the U.S. and England.  I believe he was happiest when with those he loved.

My father-in-law and I had a rocky start. This was 99% my fault. I was 20, sporting a red mohawk, and recently spontaneously engaged after only 4 months to his eldest son, John, when I first met Joel in England. One of the first things he said to me was, "I understand your parents are divorced. You do know that marriage is a serious, life-long commitment?" I responded, "Well, I wouldn't be getting married if I didn't think it would work out, but I am not going to stay in an unhappy marriage." Not a perfect response! Despite that, for the remainder of the trip, Joel was the perfect host and tour guide, waking us up in the dark to drive all over North Yorkshire, even though the only thing I was interested in at the time was being able to legally drink in the pubs!

In the nearly thirty years since, we came to understand and love each other. Yes, Joel loved to try and push my buttons to get a rise out of me, but he also was always there for our family. He loved to get everyone together for family trips whenever he could, from canal boating to the historic sights of Washington, DC and the Delaware beaches. Two years ago he organized a huge group of kids and grandkids to meet up in North Yorkshire and visit his beloved Ripon.

He loved to tell his story to anyone who would listen and worked to preserve part of his story by supporting the restoration of his childhood one-room schoolhouse, the Holmes school, in Attleboro, Massachusetts.

It had been nearly a year since he moved to an assisted living apartment in Framingham so he could be closer to John. In the first six months we were able to visit with him all the time and build a very close relationship. Joel also enjoyed sharing meals with his table mates and watching streaming TV news. He also appreciated being able to see our boys perform in marching band and joining our family at restaurants, Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

While Joel didn't catch COVID-19, it made being with him in the last months of his life challenging. We are comforted that he died peacefully having spent some time reminiscing with John and his second wife, Lee in the days before.

What can you say about Joel? He was stubborn and generous and ornery and kind all at the same time. He had an opinion about everything, usually one shared by nobody. He made sure to register to vote in Framingham and had been looking forward to casting his vote for Biden. He cherished his family, his ancestors, and his history and worked hard to share those loves with the people he cared about. He will be missed but never forgotten. We will tell his stories for the rest of our lives.