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John Joyce

28th December 1967 – 2nd September 2014

Craigton Crematorium

Friday 12th September 2014 at 10.30 am

Entrance Music: ‘I’ll See You In My Dreams’ – Joe Brown

Opening of Service

Good morning and welcome. On behalf of his wife Indra, her mother Lisa and husband David; as well as John’s mother Caroline, Mr Joyce senior and their family; I thank you all for being here to bid John Joyce a very fond and affectionate farewell.

Growing up, John was such a happy, easy go lucky boy that someone asked his mother Caroline “Are you Smiler’s mammy”? His brother Thomas recently described him as ‘Smiler the Tiler’. Others have posted online tributes to John on the ‘Forever Missed’ memorial pages that Indra has created. In the days ahead, you are welcome to visit that site and add your own personal memories.

John had a heart of gold and was generous to a fault. He was also an excellent worker who grafted hard and sometimes played hard. At the age of only forty-six, his death was a tragedy that no-one expected.

The suddenness of this event came as a great shock. It also meant you didn’t get a chance to tell John how much you loved him. By being here for him and his loved ones, your actions speak louder than words.

Because of his tender age, the most special person in John’s life can’t be here today. John adored his 10 year old son Patrick with a father’s love that was truly special. Those of you who know Patrick, will be aware that his mind is absolutely crammed with good thoughts and happy dreams of his dad. Patrick’s conversations are also full of hope that John continues to be with him from his new home in heaven.

For John and his wife Indra, ‘Nothing But The Best’ was ever good enough for their exceptional wee bhoy. If you look at the beautiful photograph on the front of the Order of Service – you will see the two bhoys smiling. That was one of many happy days they spent together.

The family also have photos of them in Celtic T-Shirts that were a present from Patrick’s Grandfather -John Senior. He is sitting alongside John’s mother Caroline. She was always grateful that her eldest son John was such a huge help to her in bringing up his 2 younger sisters and his 2 wee brothers:

Sister Sharon has 2 gorgeous girls - Sophia (4) and Sienna (2). John was so proud that Sharon trusted him to be godfather to both children.

Next eldest is Thomas. He poured his heart on to paper and wrote this: - “When I was young my brother taught me many important values. To be kind; to love your family; when times are hard to accept the things that ‘life’ throws at you; and to remember that ‘good’ will always shine through.”

Younger sister Caroline looked up to John. She admired the way he always put his parents and his younger sisters and brothers first.

Martyn also followed in John’s footsteps as a skilled tiler. Sometimes . they worked together. Nowadays Martyn is dad to his little princess Hallie (6). Like her cousins Sophia and Sienna, she is missing her Uncle too. .

Last night – (Thursday 11th September) Monsignor Monaghan from St Cadoc’s Parish Church went to Little’s funeral parlour and gave God’s Holy Blessing to John. In turn that gives great comfort to Caroline and the family who are from the Catholic faith.

It was fate that Indra’s mother Lisa and her husband David were over from their home in Oakland, California when the news broke of John’s passing. Their calm, reassuring presence has been a tremendous spiritual comfort for Indra and Patrick. Both of them will need your continued support in the months and years ahead.

Conduct of Service

My name is Henry Campbell. It’s a great privilege that both families have kindly asked me to lead this ceremony. Despite their sorrow, they really do want the service here – and the reception afterwards at the Crookston Hotel - to be a celebration of all the good things in John’s life; and a huge ‘thank you’ for all that he meant to them.

Memories from John’s Life Story

John was a late Christmas present for his parents when he arrived at the Southern General Hospital on the 28th of December 1967. At that time Caroline and Mr Joyce lived in a tiny room and kitchen flat, in an old tenement building at 10 Pearce Street, right in the heart of Govan.

Young John was about 4 years old when his mum and dad moved to a brand new house at 256 Cleeves Quadrant in Nitshill. Their new beginning was made even happier when John was joined by his sister Sharon, then his brother Thomas.

John went to St Bernard's Primary School in Nitshill until he was 11 years old. That was a hugely significant period in his young life. Now, with 3 young mouths to feed, his parents got a bigger house at 168 Peat Road. As a result John switched to Saint Ignatius Primary School nearby.

Within weeks, he suffered terrible injuries when a lorry making deliveries to the school ran over him and crushed his chest. The boy everybody knew as ‘smiler’ was rushed to the Southern General Hospital; then transferred at blue light speed through the Clyde Tunnel; and straight to Intensive Care at the Western Infirmary. John spent the next 3 or 4 months in a coma with little hope of long-term survival.

Caroline and John were with him every step of the way. As often as not - come rain, hail, sunshine or snow - they walked from Peat Road to the hospital and back home again. One day, they were summoned to the Western. Fearing the worst, they went in to see John. You can imagine their joy that he was finally lying awake, with his eyes open at last.

To aid his recovery, John spent the next 9 months at Yorkhill Sick Children’s Hospital. Prior to the accident his dad sometimes took John to Celtic games with his cousins William Rae and Kevin Joyce. Both Johns once travelled in a supporter’s bus to Rotterdam for a match against the Dutch champions Feyenoord.

However - at Yorkhill - one of the nurses was a big fan of Everton Football Club. She had posters of their star players stuck on all the walls. Though John kept his love of Celtic, that’s how his passion for Everton FC began.

After he eventually returned home to 168 Peat Road, the family grew again. First John welcomed his new sister Caroline, before baby brother Martyn completed the family of five. Being the eldest, John was always happy to look after the youngsters. While his mum was at work, he would be in the kitchen making them omelettes or cooking the best spaghetti Bolognese in Glasgow.

At Bellarmine Secondary, John did really well to catch up on all his schoolwork. He also made some good pals, including his lifelong best buddy Paul McCormick. Caroline wasn’t so pleased with John and another of his pals – Andy Pelini. She came home one day to find that the pair of them had painted each alternate ceiling tile in John’s bedroom - with bright blue and yellow paint - that matched the colours of Everton’s two strips.

When it came to DIY, John could turn his hand to most things. In later years, he redecorated his mum’s house; his dad’s place in Hillington; and Thomas’s house as well. John also completely transformed the main family home that he, Indra and Patrick subsequently shared in Cathcart Road.

John was an experienced wall and floor tiler. After leaving school at 16 he completed his apprenticeship with McTaggart & Mickel. John was a terrific worker with a great attitude. He’d jump out of bed in the morning; grab a quick cup of tea; and then cycle up to McTagart & Mickel’s Broom Estate in Newton Mearns where Sharon now lives.

When John was 18, he passed his driving test at the 1st attempt. Caroline and him became joint-owners of their first ever car - a wee red coloured Metro. In the years that followed John also combined his work of travelling to jobs up and down the country with helping around his mother’s house.

Away from home, he and Paul McCormick usually socialised in Shawlands - at pubs like ‘The Georgic’, ‘The Bay Horse’, the ‘Corona Bar’ and ‘J.J. Booths’. They knew a lot of people and had some great times. For many years, John also had a Saturday routine. At the crack of dawn he caught the early train south and went to see Everton, before returning home around midnight.

On the 4th of September 2003 - the trophy room at Goodison Park was the venue for another major event in John’s life – his wedding to Indra. Paul was John’s best man. The bridesmaid was Indra’s friend Lauren Scheffel. Their wedding song was the beautiful ballad ‘Something’ by ‘The Beatles’. It still means a great deal to Indra. She fell in love with John because he made her feel beautiful. She also appreciated that he was an honest, genuine person with no airs or graces.

Immediately after the wedding, the Fab 4 of Indra, John, Paul and Lauren went to the Cavern Club where the Beatles were first discovered. Next day, they went for an adventure on the ‘Wacka Quacka’ which is now called ‘The Yellow Duckmarine’. After driving round Liverpool to see the houses where the other Fab 4 lived, the yellow duckmarine transformed into a boat which then took them a cruise down the River Mersey.

Indra and John met on a blind date 10 months earlier. Their big night out was set up by Sharon. John came straight from his work and wouldn’t take his bunnet off because he had grout in his hair.

After popping in to a couple of pubs along Byres Road, John introduced Indra to the wonders of an establishment called ‘the bookies shop’; and the mysteries of dog racing. She picked the dog in track 1 because it had a cute name. John wasn’t happy because the dog was wearing a red coat. He stuck a £5 bet on it anyway and was much happier when it romped home in 1st place. Typical of John, he instantly handed the £40 winnings to his new girlfriend.

Their relationship really took off when John took Indra to 3 Everton games – against Sunderland, Southampton and Newcastle. It seemed like Indra was a lucky charm when his team came from behind to win each time – and most of the goals were scored by an American player Brian McBride.

The weekend of the Newcastle match was particularly special. It coincided with the Grand National at Aintree. Because their secret word for a back massage was ‘Mont’, John was sure the winning horse would be ‘Monty’s Pass’. When it came in first he was so disappointed – because he hadn’t actually placed a bet!

Thankfully, Indra’s horse ‘Amberleigh House’ was placed 3rd. So that small prize, together with Everton’s win at the football, made it a very happy weekend all round.

Lisa was at home in America when she received an important telephone call from John. In his heavy Glasgow accent, the conversation went like this: “Lisa, I want to ask you a question – I want your permission to marry your wee daughter “. Lisa didn’t have a clue what John had said. In a panic he asked her again and was very happy when Lisa said “yes”.

As a result, they flew across the Atlantic to meet Indra’s family. John spent time with Lisa and David in Oakland. They also attended the wedding of David's sister Joy to her husband Doug; and went to Wellington, Florida to see Lisa’s mother Bette who is now 91 years young. John and Bette got on like a house on fire.

There were also stops at Long Beach, California where John was convinced the sharks were going to swim onto the beach and eat his feet; San Francisco; Lake Tahoe (John especially enjoyed the casino); New York and Washington DC.

Their next major cause for celebration was Patrick’s arrival on the 11th of February, 2004. That joy turned to concern when Patrick needed special care. For 3 WEEKS he was in an incubator. Indra and John stayed in a room at the hospital to be at Patrick’s bedside. Lisa and John’s families all rallied round too. Thankfully, Patrick pulled through.

When Patrick was 15 months old, Indra and John moved across to America. For the 1st year they lived with Indra’s late grandfather Norman Rafel (Lisa’s father) and his wife Vicki at their home in Maryland. Vicki is among those friends who have posted a tribute to John on the forever.com memorial site.

Indra and John got their own house in Silver Spring. He also did some tiling work and soon made new friends at a local Irish pub; as well as at the Celtic Supporters Club in Bethesda. All in all, they enjoyed living in America with Patrick for 4 years, especially their vacations along 10 miles of white sand beaches at Ocean City.

Two main events influenced their decision to return to Glasgow. One was the economic downturn that hit the United States. The other - and the single most important factor - was Patrick’s diagnosis on the autistic spectrum. In the best interests of his future care and development they came home.

John devoted most of his time to looking after Patrick while Indra resumed her career in supporting adult learners. Father and son even had their own language. Every time John managed out to see the football; or had a night at the pub, he’d bring Patrick some ‘kinder’ chocolate eggs. On his last birthday, Patrick was 10, so John made sure he got 10 ‘kinder’ eggs.

Nowadays Patrick is superbly well supported at Saint Vincent’s Learning & Communication Resource Centre. Seana Moore, who runs the centre, is with us today. The family thank Seana and her staff for the magnificent support they are giving Patrick at this difficult time.

Seana wrote a ‘Story about Daddy’ for Patrick last week. That strategy, and the online memorial, are both helping him come to terms with what’s happened. You will understand the reasons why Indra and the family have asked that any donations you are generous enough to make as you leave the service will be passed with gratitude to Seana for use by the centre as she sees fit.

John Lennon once said: “It matters not who you love, where you love, why you love, when you love or how you love, it matters only that you love”. He also gave good advice that you should “Count your age by friends, not years. Count your life by smiles, not tears.”

John spent most of his last weekend with his lifelong friend Paul. Sadly, it was Paul who found him at home in Cathcart Road on the morning of Tuesday 2nd September 2014.

Tribute Poem: ‘When I Must Leave You’

John’s loss is heart felt by everyone in this room. On behalf of the Joyce family, I will now read a poem titled ‘When I Must Leave You’. The words are included in your Order of Service.

When I must leave you for a little while

Please do not grieve and shed wild tears

And hug your sorrow to you through the years.

But start out bravely with a gallant smile;

And for my sake and in my name

Live on and do all things the same,

Feed not your loneliness on empty days,

But fill each waking hour in useful ways.

Reach out your hand in comfort and in cheer

And I, in turn, will comfort you - And hold you near;

And never, never be afraid to die,

For I am waiting for you in the sky!

Tribute Lullaby: ‘Always In My Heart’ – Performed by Lisa Rafel

‘Always In My Heart’

Rest your head, go to sleep

Let your dreams fall away

Drop into the silent deep

Where your soul can play

La la la la la la

Even when we’re apart,

you are always in my heart

Reflection

With that image of John in mind, we will now have a period of reflection. Please observe a minute’s silence to contemplate what John meant to each of you personally. You may silently pray if you wish.

Committal and Prayer:

Now, it is time to commit John’s body and to pray that he rests in eternal peace.

Father in heaven, we praise your name
For all who have finished this life loving and trusting you,
For the example of their lives,
The energy, personality and character you gave them,
And the peace in which they now rest.
We praise you today for your servant John Joyce,

And for all that you did through him.
Meet us in our sadness
And fill our hearts with praise and thanksgiving.
For the sake of our risen Lord, Jesus Christ. Amen

Words of Comfort and Close of Service

Indra - and every member of the extended Joyce family - thanks you most sincerely for helping to commemorate John’s eventful life; and for sharing his final journey today.

To them I say please remember, that although he is no longer with you, your relationship with John has not ended. You will continue to love him tomorrow, the next day, and for every day after that. To everyone else here, I say that when you lose someone you love, just being together, like this, matters enormously.

John’s name will be mentioned at all the local Masses being held on Sunday. At some time in the near future Mr and Mrs Joyce will hold a memorial service in the Catholic tradition, following which John’s ashes will be interred. Indra has also arranged for memorial tributes to be laid at Celtic Park and at Goodison Park.

We will now conclude the service with a piece of music that John enjoyed on many, many occasions. I hope it cheers your hearts whenever you hear it in future and think of him. Thank you.

Close: ‘Fields Of Athenry’ – The Dubliners