October 7

Shared by Cathi Wickham on October 7, 2014

     Today, October 7, marks the saddest day in my life. I lost my mother and best friend on this day in 2012. While I want to share happy, funny stories about my mom, I believe that she deserves to be remembered for this day first. She should still be with us.
      Her passing was shocking and unexpected. I often wonder if deep down she knew. When the doctors told me that she wasn't going to get better, I thought to myself, "once I get her home, she'll regain her strength and prove those doctors wrong." I mean, she was awake and talking! She didn't want that contraption on her face anymore. When she signed papers saying that she refused the treatment, I thought it meant for that -- but it meant for everything. They told us what she was signing -- I think.   I had been up all night and my mind was spinning trying to figure out the next step. I really didn't understand what was happening.
      Everybody was there and I don't think any of us realized that she was so close to leaving us. She had been struggling every day for two months. Not a morsel of food had passed her lips for over 60 days! BUT... She had survived cancer in her kidney, had tumors removed from glands in her face, three-quarters of a lung removed, chemo from which she lost all her hair, and radiation that burnt her clean through from her back to her belly! Those times are a blur to me compared to remembering her last battle  Every one of those days are burnt into memory from the day/night we spent in the hotel before surgery to every hellish day after that.
      She showed to me how strong in heart and spirit she truly was! God bless her beautiful soul! I will never be able to express how heartbroken I am because of her passing. I miss her so much! It's two years today that she is gone from this world; but she will never be gone from my heart and I'll remember her always.She was loved dearly and she loved us in return. That kind of love is a gift from God.
     I heard once that a person dies only when his/her name is never spoken again. So loudly and proudly I shout out "Kathryn Stillwell!"

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