Mama Maria
Mama Maria you were a great mother, grandmother, sister, auntie and friend, a wonderful child of God. Your soul was kind and gentle and even in your death, you showed dignity and a quiet strength. Your entire life was a testimony of your great love and kindness for us. Everyone who knew you loved and respected you and all of our lives were made better because God gave you to us.
Mama Maria had a great capacity for loving all who came in contact with her. Her words were sweet and her heart was generous. She never left a bitter taste in anyone's mouth. She was as the Proverbs woman in scripture whose children arise to call her blessed.
Mama Maria loved and cared for her grandchildren with all that she had to give. She referred to Darren as her "first grandson" and she was so devoted to him. When he was a child she would run around the house for hours trying to get him to eat. She regularly attended his parent-teacher conferences and volunteered in his class when needed. Because of her dedication to Darren, she won the PARENT OF THE YEAR award and got to go on a Christmas shopping trip. Darren was honored to have you as his grandmother.
When Jomia came along, Mama Maria had her hands full. There were early morning fights about which school clothes he would wear. She had to run after him to get him to eat lunch. At dinner, Jomia would often refuse to eat, but at 12 midnight he would knock on Grandma's bedroom door asking for food. Grandma would get up and feed him with joy.
Mama Maria named Ekumu after her uncle and she always noted that 'he will be alright in the future'. She treated him with great respect even though he was a child.
My husband would jokingly say that I was an 'absentee mom'. With Mama Maria standing in for me, I always took comfort in knowing that my sons were in great hands.
At Mama Maria's last visit, roles were reversed. Jomia, now 17, was in charge of her meals. He made sure that she ate and assisted with her feedings. Ekumu, now 14, was in charge of her bathroom needs. They sang together while walking to the bathroom. Grandma would say a warm "thank you" each time. Even in her time of sickness, Mama made life easier for me. She provided the opportunity for her grandsons to take care of her. She prepared them for my turn.
Mama Maria gave so much without ever asking for anything in return. Her life was one of deep humility. Every now and then she come to for medications and she would say "Flo, I beg when you reach for office, look whether you see some my blood pressure medicine, na only small remain." She was so unselfish, only asking for what she absolutely needed and always meeting the needs of others. She never wanted to be a bother to anyone and she never was.
Mama Maria, you carried me all the time. You were my biggest motivator and taught me to be responsible and to have a vision and sense of direction at an early age. I remember how you always put others first. When Grandpa Dominic was ill, you delayed coming to the U.S. so that you could take care of him and be by his side until his last days. You taught me true commitment to family, friends and community and this lesson has blessed my life.
Mama Maria we will miss you facial expressions, your laughter, your dancing, your singing and your sound advice. You were my buffer and my counselor in chief. Over the years you never gave one bad word of advice. At times when I was leaving Cameroon, I would say "My money finish oh mami. You would say "Na whati, waker fine. Salute my picken them."
Mama was friends with my friends in the U.S. and Cameroon. When they visited, it was often to see her, not me. She had a bright smile and good word for everyone and no one left her table hungry. Mr. Wakan referred to her as Cameroonian American Mother of the Year. She was indeed that and so much more.
Mama Maria
If I could have 10% of your humility, I will be a great woman
If I could have 10% of your love for your fellow man, I will be a great woman
If I could have 10% of your respect for people, I will be a great woman
If I could have 10% of your peace-loving nature, I will be a great woman
If I could have 10% of your quiet strength, I will be a great woman
If I could have 10% of your love for God and the church, I will enter the gates of heaven.
God is on your side and this I know for sure. You left us and returned to him on Christ the King day.
Thanks for giving me life.
Nkie Forsac-Pefok