As teenagers....we've lived stories of "first love", we've all deal with it in our own ways.  My mom was instrumental in teaching us how to cope and understand what is was like to be hurt by first loves.  She taught me patience, compassion and to respect others.  Our parents showed us every day what it was like to do the work!  

Missing her feels like the first time your heart is broken.  

There might not be anything more painful than realizing there’s no “one more time” with someone you love. As granddaughter to a truly incredible woman, I can attest that the heartbreak many feel for the loss of my grandmother, Mary Pamela Olesen, was inevitable. She touched many lives with her bright smile and beautiful soul as daughter, wife, mother, sister, grandmother, friend and neighbor.

Pam, born Wednesday, February 2, 1955, departed us on Wednesday, September 13, 2017. She was the wife of Steven Olesen for 48 years of adventure and challenge. Together they built a family and parented four children (by blood): Steven Olesen, Jason Olesen, Bryan Olesen, and Kimberley Poole. A few of the children’s close friends would come to spend periods of time in the Olesen home and be considered a part of the family as well. All four children married making Pam mother of eight, and eventually grandmother to eight: Darien Contu, Alexander Olesen, Bryan Olesen, Julien Olesen, Alyssa Poole, Harrison Olesen, Christopher Poole, and Kayleigh Poole. She was a rock that created a foundational family environment full of good food, unconditional love, thoughtful care, and crazy fun.

Though I cannot claim to know her as well as some, I do know that she was a woman who would stop at nothing to express love for those she cared about. For me this stood out the most when a week before my wedding her doctor told her that she wasn’t well enough to make the 4 hour drive to Virginia, so her and my grandfather made the trip anyway. I am positive that I am not alone in having such a story, but it did not always have to be an extravagant act. She was constantly letting those she loved know that she cared about them in small ways, day by day. One time she told me that she spends hours picking out the various birthday, holiday, and special-occasion cards she would send. She read through most of what a store would have to offer, and picked something that specifically made her think of you, always signing off with “All Our Love.”

Many will remember her as a woman who always put others first. She was always doing something for someone else. Whether it was through a simple text that she was thinking about you, picking up a gift for a grandchild even and especially when it was not a birthday, cooking delicious food, opening up her home, or taking the time to ask how you were and really listen, her selflessness was evident. Even walking through her home, you would only see pictures of all of the best family moments and portraits of the kids and grandkids framed on every available wall space. She had a huge heart that she shared a piece of with everyone she knew.

Her most admired quality was her strength. For 30 years, longer than any of the grandchildren have been alive, Pam battled a number of fights against cancer. A majority she conquered. For years I was unaware that she had ever been ill, which I think is the most remarkable part. Even on her worst days, she still took the time to make sure that those she loved knew it with her actions and words. She even taught it to all of the grandchildren at a young age; each fall season around Halloween she would take us pumpkin picking. The Olesen rule was always, “If you can carry it, you can keep it.” When we were strong enough, this meant we could take home some really large and impressive pumpkins for carving. Fortunately in life, Pam was able to carry a lot and her strength helped her to fight each day for us. Her life serves as an inspiration that will never be forgotten.

To honor Pam’s strength and care for others, our family would appreciate if memorial donations are made to the Susan G. Komen Foundation of Central and South Jersey at http://komencsnj.org. If you elect to send a tribute card, please send to Steven Olesen, 410 Coolidge Avenue, Bayville, New Jersey 08721.

Pam Olesen, a selfless woman full of love, care, compassion, and strength, will be missed more than words can do justice, but she will live on in the hearts and memories of friends and family who were dear to her. There might not be anything more empowering than knowing that we are all responsible for carrying on her legacy now, and that we can take comfort in knowing one day we will see her again.