ForeverMissed
This memorial website was created in memory of our loved one, Mary Lee .

Her vision was to experience life deeply, to live truthfully, to connect meaningfully, to love despite animosity, to die happily & peacefully…

We will remember her forever. Read her parting words to us all.
Posted by Frendi Li on September 2, 2020
Dear Mary,
Thank you for being a champion of your patients and our clinical psychology trainees! Thank you for instilling in our students not only knowledge and skills but also a vision and mission to serve! Those who were lucky enough to be under your tutelage have been blessed by your compassion and generosity. Goodbye, our dear teacher and colleague, and rest in peace.
Students and staff of the HKU MSocSc in Clinical Psychology Programme.
Posted by Catherine Chung on August 26, 2020
Dear Mary

Our time on earth is fleeting and you have used your time well. You kept looking for ways to make the world a better place for all. Your generous spirit guided you in the love and compassion you showered those you touched. You had the courage to challenge convention and not allowed yourself to be trapped by traditional expectations. You are now free as you have always longed.

Posted by Amanda Ng on August 24, 2020

Dear Mary,
You may have left too soon but you'll always be in our hearts.
Posted by Johanna Lai on August 23, 2020
Thank you Mary for being my supervisor . Owing you definitely in lots of learning from the hospital setting . Thanks for your passion in life , love of nature and conscientiousness example in life. You always greet me warmly whenever you see me ,even after years I graduated . Will remember you in my prayers.
Posted by Maggie Poon on August 22, 2020
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Mary, the life in your years really counts a lot!

RIP
Posted by Esther Pockrandt on August 22, 2020
Dearest Mary
Seed Soil!
We were merely acquaintances through your land and our shared world view yet we did connect deeply on that level. We sure spoke the same language of concern. You sure were one of the many unnoticed nor un-acknowledged canaries in the coal mine. You deeply felt in your belly and often with tempered gnawing anger and desperation the suffering, the pain on land in the oceans and the air, the injustices, the cruelty of man to man and to the animal world, as if it were your own. You were insensed by the blindness of communities and humanity in general. I remember you saying when you shared your cancer diagnosis that ‘as HK is falling apart so now too my body’. What an analogy. What a sad recognition. That last cry! I tested up when I read that....

Yet I am so glad that finally you organised for your family to receive your body for burial in Sydney rather than alone up here. I am glad I was able to perhaps shift your thinking at the last moment even though you may not have liked me stalling at following through on your request, me wanting more details for contacts also. I also remember you saying that the reason for asking for cemetery options here up on the Sunshine Coast Hinterland, was that you didn’t want the big masses that you’d have to otherwise endure! That made me smile .... were you already anticipating having to watch impatiently floating somewhere above? Shouting from above ‘come on! get on with it!’ Yet for those who loved you they need to grieve and if it’s a mass that helps them and brings all together, then that’s how it should be. And I’m glad it’s happening!

You left a legacy that we should all head on so many levels!

My heart goes out to all who knew and loved Mary, that precious canary in the coal mine. Her song of life was indeed special.

William Blake’s poem ‘Auguries of Innocence’ is so befitting a heart description of what perhaps drove you and also broke you, your heart over and over in your short life! For us to pick ourselves up now and carry on that work un-blindfolded perhaps finally also ...

“To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour
A Robin Red breast in a Cage
Puts all Heaven in a Rage
A Dove house filld with Doves & Pigeons
Shudders Hell thr' all its regions
A dog starvd at his Masters Gate
Predicts the ruin of the State
A Horse misusd upon the Road
Calls to Heaven for Human blood
Each outcry of the hunted Hare
A fibre from the Brain does tear
A Skylark wounded in the wing
A Cherubim does cease to sing
The Game Cock clipd & armd for fight
Does the Rising Sun affright
Every Wolfs & Lions howl
Raises from Hell a Human Soul
The wild deer, wandring here & there
Keeps the Human Soul from Care
The Lamb misusd breeds Public Strife
And yet forgives the Butchers knife
The Bat that flits at close of Eve
Has left the Brain that wont Believe
The Owl that calls upon the Night
Speaks the Unbelievers fright
He who shall hurt the little Wren
Shall never be belovd by Men
He who the Ox to wrath has movd
Shall never be by Woman lovd
The wanton Boy that kills the Fly
Shall feel the Spiders enmity
He who torments the Chafers Sprite
Weaves a Bower in endless Night
The Catterpiller on the Leaf
Repeats to thee thy Mothers grief
Kill not the Moth nor Butterfly
For the Last Judgment draweth nigh
He who shall train the Horse to War
Shall never pass the Polar Bar
The Beggars Dog & Widows Cat
Feed them & thou wilt grow fat
The Gnat that sings his Summers Song
Poison gets from Slanders tongue
The poison of the Snake & Newt
Is the sweat of Envys Foot
The poison of the Honey Bee
Is the Artists Jealousy
The Princes Robes & Beggars Rags
Are Toadstools on the Misers Bags
A Truth thats told with bad intent
Beats all the Lies you can invent
It is right it should be so
Man was made for Joy & Woe
And when this we rightly know
Thro the World we safely go
Joy & Woe are woven fine
A Clothing for the soul divine
Under every grief & pine
Runs a joy with silken twine
The Babe is more than swadling Bands
Throughout all these Human Lands
Tools were made & Born were hands
Every Farmer Understands
Every Tear from Every Eye
Becomes a Babe in Eternity
This is caught by Females bright
And returnd to its own delight
The Bleat the Bark Bellow & Roar
Are Waves that Beat on Heavens Shore
The Babe that weeps the Rod beneath
Writes Revenge in realms of Death
The Beggars Rags fluttering in Air
Does to Rags the Heavens tear
The Soldier armd with Sword & Gun
Palsied strikes the Summers Sun
The poor Mans Farthing is worth more
Than all the Gold on Africs Shore
One Mite wrung from the Labrers hands
Shall buy & sell the Misers Lands
Or if protected from on high
Does that whole Nation sell & buy
He who mocks the Infants Faith
Shall be mockd in Age & Death
He who shall teach the Child to Doubt
The rotting Grave shall neer get out
He who respects the Infants faith
Triumphs over Hell & Death
The Childs Toys & the Old Mans Reasons
Are the Fruits of the Two seasons
The Questioner who sits so sly
Shall never know how to Reply
He who replies to words of Doubt
Doth put the Light of Knowledge out
The Strongest Poison ever known
Came from Caesars Laurel Crown
Nought can Deform the Human Race
Like to the Armours iron brace
When Gold & Gems adorn the Plow
To peaceful Arts shall Envy Bow
A Riddle or the Crickets Cry
Is to Doubt a fit Reply
The Emmets Inch & Eagles Mile
Make Lame Philosophy to smile
He who Doubts from what he sees
Will neer Believe do what you Please
If the Sun & Moon should Doubt
Theyd immediately Go out
To be in a Passion you Good may Do
But no Good if a Passion is in you
The Whore & Gambler by the State
Licencd build that Nations Fate
The Harlots cry from Street to Street
Shall weave Old Englands winding Sheet
The Winners Shout the Losers Curse
Dance before dead Englands Hearse
Every Night & every Morn
Some to Misery are Born
Every Morn and every Night
Some are Born to sweet delight
Some are Born to sweet delight
Some are Born to Endless Night
We are led to Believe a Lie
When we see not Thro the Eye
Which was Born in a Night to perish in a Night
When the Soul Slept in Beams of Light
God Appears & God is Light
To those poor Souls who dwell in Night
But does a Human Form Display
To those who Dwell in Realms of day.”

You are free now sweet canary! Fly .....!
Posted by Mentor Mentor on August 21, 2020
We met when Mary went to school in Australia. A motivated, principle minded, diligent young lady. Since then, she asked me to be her life mentor. Over the years, we met infrequently, in person, lunch, dinner, many long phone conversations and emails, mostly when Mary was unhappy with the bully at work, unsure of her value, felt unloved, unsatisfied with the relationship and when dealing with her career changes.

Mary was always inquisitive, intelligent, inundated with details, so much caring for others and yet unable to subscribe a good dose of medicine for her own emptiness.

In our last communication a few weeks ago, she asked me what a good song for her service could be? I shared with her a few songs but never received a reply.

Mary, goodbye and we will, always, think of you fondly.
Posted by Rebecca Lau on August 21, 2020
Dear Dr. Mary,

It’s serendipity that connected us as both an IOP and CP. Grateful to your last teaching of love, kindness and compassion from your words and vision that you had lived. I deeply regret for not having the chance to thank for your meaningful sharing and warm encouragement when we met at the HKPS Golden Jubilee Gala Dinner not long ago. You are my role model and this poem reminds me of you:

If I can stop one heart
from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;

If I can ease one life the aching ,
Or cool one pain,

Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,

I shall not live in vain.

(By EMILY DICKINSON)
Posted by Bernadette Watson on August 21, 2020
You were a real support when we came to Hong Kong in 2016, Mary. You were a very generous hearted person and we are so sad you are no longer with us. You lived your vision.
Posted by Ephraem Tsui on August 21, 2020
I met Mary the first time around 1991 and was already deeply impressed by her passion to promote mental health of people through the clinical psychology profession. With delight, I saw her the last time on 29 Nov 2018 at Parade of Past Presidents at The Hong Kong Psychological Society Golden Jubilee Gala Dinner. We have actually kept phone contacts since that dinner to discuss how psychologists can contribute more meaningfully to the Mental Health Review Tribunal system. I was deeply moved by her sincere concern for the rights and well-being of the people in the system and I agreed with her ideas and action plan. Last year, I invited her to speak at the Hong Kong Psychological Society Golden Jubilee Conference about "Loving Psychology, Loving Life". She quickly accepted and sent me her lovely bio. Unfortunately, the conference had to be postponed for a year. Yet, in June this year, Mary still agreed to come to speak at the postponed conference. I did not know she was unwell and I was looking forward to hear her personal sharing about how she's loving psychology and loving life. Well, we will be missing that but I think Mary had already made a lasting impact on all of us who knew her and we have all changed in some better ways because of her. May she rest in eternal peace.
Posted by Psychologists Concern on August 20, 2020
Dear Mary,

We still remember your smile, your genuine support and warm encouragement during our low tides. Your compassionate messages and your eyes with wisdom, are deeply remembered in our hearts. We sincerely wish you peace and happiness in the Kingdom of God.

Respect,
Psychologists Concern
Posted by Helen Chan on August 20, 2020
Dear Mary,
Thank you so much for your contributions to the psychological community of Hong Kong. I remembered the days when we were both serving in the Council of the Hong Kong Psychological society. Your determination and tireless effort to set up the Division of Industrial-Organisational Psychology was admirable. I also recalled how you helped to set up the counselling service at our school, the Maryknoll Convent School. I will always remember you as my honest and sincere friend. May you rest in peace with the Lord and we will meet again one day in heaven!

Helen
Posted by Ref Seventhreeone on August 20, 2020

Posted By Lik Ho
"生命二軸"是Mary 早前幫我在一本命為"二次人生"書裡的一篇撰文,多謝她一口答應跟我們分享。她在最後一段最後一句,是這樣告訴我們的: 『十分相信時間比起金錢更寶貴,要善活此生。』我們一家人感謝她多年來的教導,受人之恩,銘記於心。願 一路平安。

Posted by Anna Hui on August 20, 2020
Dear Mary,
I miss your loving smile and your dedication to the psychology field. Thank you for serving in the departmental advisory committee of CityU's psychology program.
May your soul rest in peace with our gracious Lord!
In Him,
anna
Posted by Shui-fong Lam on August 20, 2020
Dear Mary,
Your departure is a huge loss to the field of psychology in Hong Kong. You are such a special person with compassion and perseverance. In front of difficulties, you always keep a childlike spirit of positivity. This is something I shall never forget. I cherish your smiles deeply in my heart.
Love,
Shui-fong
Posted by Teresa Yip on August 19, 2020
Have only known Mary a bit through a feminist theology study group in HK as well as in other events concerning gender and societal issues. Once, Mary had landed me her hand in times of my difficulty. I will remember her kindness.
Posted by Yuen Wing Chun on August 19, 2020
有幸在荔枝窩重遇Mary,有機會和她談心。知道她有意做善事,好欣賞她的真和心,如
心量廣大
善而不居
懷而不有
輕鬆自在

謝謝您的教導,
詠春
Posted by Suzanne So on August 19, 2020
Dr Lee,

You served as Honorary Clinical Supervisor for the CUHK MSSc Programme in Clinical Psychology for a good 12 years. You devoted your time and heart, not just to serve people in need, but to inspire students to do the same. You’ve left a legacy of genuineness, compassion for the community, generosity and dedication. Thank you for being a role model to many psychologists, who will pass on the candle of warmth following your footpath. May you soul be rested and your family be consoled.

Staff and students of the CUHK MSSc Programme in Clinical Psychology
Posted by Christopher Cheng on August 19, 2020
Dear Mary, how truthful you are in reminding us "not to underestimate the killing power of apathy" and to "love more, care more, respond more to other’s needs; fill the world with more human warmth and care."
May you rest in peace in our Lord's bosom, and may your loved ones be blessed and protected!
Posted by CC Lu on August 19, 2020
Dear Mary : During your ill health, you still manage to invite your friends to contribute to your life review. I have sent the following Whats Apps to you on Jul 25 ,2020

"Good morning Mary ! I noticed in your mobile you have stated about your vision " to experience life deeply, to live truthly and to connect meaningfully ....." . I think your vision have stated wisely as to what life is about.    I admired your conviction of living your life with true principles which was aptly reflected in your strong commitment to the field of Psychology..... your determination in making a green world, taking agricultural class, growing your own vegetables......trying to contribute the best to make our world a better place..... Living alone with such ill health, I can fully imagine the challenges you have now both emotionally and physically. Yet you have shown the courage to face it all. Do take care !

Mary , you will be missed dearly !
Posted by Vincent Cheng on August 19, 2020
親愛的Mary,

與你見面大概5--6次, 感覺你很有正義感, 也很支持維護精神科使用者的人權。在最後的日子, 因為你健康欠佳, 未能有太多連繫, 誠為遺憾。

你交託我們為精神科使用者爭取人權和非藥物治療的遺願, 本人銘記在心, 也會輕鬆地去享受實踐的過程。

感謝你的無私貢獻精神、正直和真誠, 我曾贈你以下這首詩, 現再題以表懷念:

橫眉冷對心耿直
原知世情多困苦
長夜但燃心中燈
每顆每盞同路人
Posted by Anita Leung on August 19, 2020
Dear Mary, you reminds us not to underestimate the lethality of apathy. I will remember your passion, be more responsive, show love and concern, and make the world a better place. May you rest in peace.
Posted by Austin Tay on August 19, 2020
Dear Mary, you have been an inspiration to many, I included. Your vision and determination to establish IO Psychology in Hong Kong together with the founding group have paid off. What we have achieved and continue to achieve as a Division, we will always be indebted to you. You have done lots for others, now it is your time to rest. 
Posted by T.K. Kang on August 19, 2020
You will be missed. Your vision to experience life deeply, to live truthfully, to connect meaningfully, to love despite animosity and to die happily & peacefully is fullfilled. "Don't underestimate the killing power of apathy". Such a beautiful gift of your wisdom to us in such healing times. Goodbye.  

Leave a Tribute

 
Recent Tributes
Posted by Frendi Li on September 2, 2020
Dear Mary,
Thank you for being a champion of your patients and our clinical psychology trainees! Thank you for instilling in our students not only knowledge and skills but also a vision and mission to serve! Those who were lucky enough to be under your tutelage have been blessed by your compassion and generosity. Goodbye, our dear teacher and colleague, and rest in peace.
Students and staff of the HKU MSocSc in Clinical Psychology Programme.
Posted by Catherine Chung on August 26, 2020
Dear Mary

Our time on earth is fleeting and you have used your time well. You kept looking for ways to make the world a better place for all. Your generous spirit guided you in the love and compassion you showered those you touched. You had the courage to challenge convention and not allowed yourself to be trapped by traditional expectations. You are now free as you have always longed.

Posted by Amanda Ng on August 24, 2020

Dear Mary,
You may have left too soon but you'll always be in our hearts.
her Life

生命二軸

生命二軸

『轉變』,無論是被動或主動,似乎是我生命其一主旋律。世界不斷在變,或為未來的變遷作準備;或許亦因七年之癢,不大願意安於現狀,追求不羈與自由。

自幼稚園以來,讀過七所學校,畢業前做過七類散工,畢業後轉換過七次工作或岡位;擔當過二十多種義務工作。愛上日新月異及人性化的工作。在急症醫院工作的日子最長,慣於應付突發或災難事故,醫治長期病痛,面對生老病死,深深體會生命的無常。人生就是環境與心境的互動。於我而言,有意識的抉擇和轉變,就是成長。

出生以來,除了現時住了超過二十年的居所外,已搬住過十五個家 (包括大學宿舍)。從小時成長的九龍區,搬往港島區,跨區上課上班,到新界離島遠足及近年往返農田;並曾出國留學,到處揹背囊遊歷--- 地域的轉變、開拓,拉闊了我思維的空間。

中學以來,有機會接觸到不同的文化社羣,認識和包容了主流以外的論述和生活形態。 從事心理學,更對自已有要求;要不斷反思、成長、進化,放下舊包袱,求同存異。 大時代的轉變,無論是國際大事、社會運動、極端天氣、世紀瘟疫等,多多少少衝擊自身的存在意義。地球污染、氣候變化,更驅使我探索心理學以外的廣闊世界,例如環保、種植。少年時以為科學是唯一真理,成年後更欣賞藝術的情感價值和人文精神。

經歷過戰亂的上幾代,極渴望有把握的安全感。回想祖父對孫兒們光宗耀祖的期望,傳統中國大家族的論資排輩,有形無形的家規;上一輩親戚之間的恩恩怨怨、妒忌不滿、埋怨指責、閒言閒語、互相把兒女比較;是是非非中,交雜著對血源的忠和責。我不知不覺在這些噪音中成長。幸好有意識以來,不用與大家族同住,可以保持一些空間距離。相對地,外祖母懂得知足常樂,樂於助人,無師自通,默默耕耘,或許有些少被她潛移默化。少年時曾夢想做個和平使者(或紛爭調解員) 。

我生長在一個虔誠的天主教大家庭,單純地相信「愛」,信奉和諧,順從形式主義和禮節。但是,當目睹表裏不一、對尊卑地位的執著、對異己的偏見成見排外、離不開面子權力鬥爭等人性陋習,便種下一份自孩時潛意識的不安和問號。成年後開始對表面和諧的現狀提出疑問,才發現有些「愛」,其實帶有虧欠、內疚、操控。 從一個眾人眼中的乖孩子,一直依從相信是理所當然的主流價值和規則,在不斷的生命衝擊和磨練下,我期望自已超脫成為一個有真正獨立思考的人。

我生命的另一主旋律:忠於自已,活出真我,不害怕孤身上路,對主流以外的另類選擇持開放態度;好好地做一個勇於跨越時間、空間、地域、文化、族群的人生旅者。這路當然並不易行。

在「真我」和「成長」兩軸旋律的交錯中,我有很多人生轉捩點,較有突破性的改變有二:(1) 寫博士論文令自已更深入思考、挑戰往常視為真理的假設、常規。(2) 離開工作多年的公營機構大系統,追求夢魅以求的自主生活。總而言之,最大的「二次人生」,是意識到深層情感思想的枷鎖,不再自我設限,從而釋放自已。十分相信時間比起金錢更寶貴,要善活此生。

李穎明博士

臨床心理學家、機構心理學家、社會心理學家



From Mary: "I love you All .."

各位朋友和親戚,抱歉沒有親自及早通知你們每一位。因實在太多事務要處理,加上身體虛弱,沒有精力應付太多的溝通。自從發現這重病,身邊有很多天使無條件地支持和幫助我,我實在感激萬分。
我自小已感覺到自己很幸福快樂,一無所缺。這個病讓我學會更愛惜自己的身體,更懂得讓別人去愛我。
我大半生行了有別於主流的路,要付出代價,但我無悔無憾。
不要低估冷漠的殺傷力。多去愛,多去的關心,多去回應,讓這世界充滿情誼。I love you All. 
My Vision: to experience life deeply, to live truthfully, to connect meaningfully, to love despite animosity, to die happily & peacefully…
Dear friends and relatives, apology for not informing everyone of you in person and earlier. Owing to the many tasks that I had to complete, plus my weakened body, I did not have the energy to cope with too many communications.   Since I discovered this serious illness, I have been surrounded by angels who support and help me unconditionally. I am extremely grateful. 
I have been a blissful and happy person since childhood. I don’t feel deprived. This illness has taught me to love my body better, and to allow others to love me.
Most of my adult life, I have been beating a different drum, and walking a different path, from the main stream norms and expectations.  And I have to pay a heavy price, and my body is taking its toll. But I have no regret.
Don’t underestimate the killing power of apathy. Love more, care more, respond more to other’s needs; fill the world with more human warmth and care. I love you All. 
My Vision: to experience life deeply, to live truthfully, to connect meaningfully, to love despite animosity, to die happily & peacefully…
Recent stories
Shared by Cym Yu on October 3, 2020
At her wish, Mary has been laid to rest at Macquarie Park
Vaughan Catholic Lawn Row 39 Grave 79

and she said that she  "will be here, there, everywhere in the universe......"

感謝你參加Mary的逾越感恩祭.

Shared by Editors For ML's Memorial... on August 29, 2020
十分感謝你昨晚來参加Mary的逾越感恩祭!
你的來臨也令Mary的家人多了一份安慰。他們知道Mary有如此多懷念她的朋友和親人. 同時,Mary在助人的工作上卓越的成就,家人必會為Mary感到驕傲! 
我們十分贊同林神父的佳句:Mary是一個生活簡單的人,但是她的人生絕對不簡單。
願大家繼續去愛,去關心及回應你身邊的人,讓這個世界充滿情誼.同時也藉此豐富自己和別人的生命!
Mary一直敢行窄路,作鹽作光,讓我們從今以後,記念她在世日子.
愛及關心Mary的支持小組敬上

My Memory of Mary

Shared by Margaret Lau on August 26, 2020
Dear Mary,

We first met in Macquarie University 1983, it was nearly four decades ago! I!! I can still remember the bonding and fun we had during the catholic cell group gatherings.

After we graduated and came back to Hong Kong, we have less frequent interactions as we are ‘busy’ with our careers and personal life.

Ten years ago, we reconnected again. You haven’t changed a lot, you are still the same ‘old’ Mary, being compassionate towards others, always there to listen and care for others …..

I can still remember the times we chatted in your North Point office. We talked about the good old days, the social unrest in Hong Kong, your dream of going back to Brisbane in 2020 and start your sustainable farming in the permaculture village.

We originally planned to go hiking during Chinese New Year, but that did not come to fruition due to the COVID-19 outbreak.

In May, you shared with me the news of your illness. Since then, your replies to WhatsApp messages became more and more infrequent due to the discomfort and pain …..

Mary, I will definitely miss you and you will always be in my heart and prayers. We would meet again in the future.

Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. – Matthew 11:18